My baby is sick of me :(

[Lacrymosa]

I'm really depressed right now. Lately it seems like I cant for the life of me get asia to smile, but the second daddy walks into the room she has a big grin on her face and just looks at him so adoringly. I try sooo hard too. I talk to her, sing to her, bounce her, dance with her, make silly faces at her, take her for walks. I do it all and she just gets fussy and cries. I guess it just comes more naturally to him, I don't know. I am getting so distraught. I feel like she is bonding with him more than me and I just suck at entertaining her even though I do the same things he does and I try so hard!

Anyways, just venting. I'm sad.

[texaspeach]

[Spring Sun]

You know, she does not know there is any difference between you and her, you are always just there, a part of her. Maybe she knows you will just take care ofher eeds when she fusses but she has to charm dad. I wouldn't worry about it at all, it will all change and be so different in a few weeks anyways.

[brooklynbabymama]

You're her rock. Until she's solidly school-aged, she'll behave and smile for everybody else but let her guard down for mama...unfortunately, this usually entails a meltdown reaction to the stress of the day. Don't worry, as she gets more communicative there will be plenty of sweet moments for you alone which justify the rest.

[Mamabeakley]

that

It is hard, though. I just think, "my job as mama is not to be the fun one" even if I am fun. My job is to be the completely safe one, the solid one, the one who is consistent and firm. It isn't my job to make my children happy at any given moment - it's my job to help them grow up and thrive so they can be happy in general. In my family this is maybe even more so because that is naturally more of my personality, while DH is more of a free spirit. (He is SO not the disciplinarian!)

My experience with things like this is that it can really help me to make a list (in my mind or even on paper) of all the things that are good about the relationship at that moment. Maybe I can only think of one or two at that moment when I'm feeling sad and down, but I know there are more - and then that helps me to notice more - and gradually, usually, I start to feel better.

But I've also noticed from your posts, Lacrymosa, that you might be feeling a lot of anxiety and sadness in general. If you think there is any possibility that you are experiencing some form of postpartum depression or anxiety, I hope you will consider getting help or at least talking to someone empathetic in person - your doctor or childbirth educator or doula (or someone you know in one of those roles, even if you didn't use their services before birth.) You deserve to be a happy mama. Just as much as your baby deserves to be a happy baby.

[Mama2Jesse]

I want to "yeah, that" everyone's posts.

You're only six weeks out, too. At that point, I was for milk, diapers, holding and rocking. I was not a separate person.

You know though, and I am not downplaying daddies at ALL here, daddies rock, my DH is overseas right now. I would never tell him this, but the boy is fine, at twelve months. Looks around a bit at the usual getting home time, but quickly reverts to playing with me and hugging my leg.

Dude, I can't even go pee without him fussing and following. God forbid I sneak out of the room once he's asleep and he wakes up without me.



They love their daddies, but need mommies to survive and their little brains are wired to know that. You're meeting your little one's needs so well she has no need to impress you, you are mom. She knows you're there.

Big hugs to you, mama. Six weeks was so rough, take care of yourself too and try to hang on. Eat something nourishing, have a nice bath with your babe and soft music (or alone, if you prefer) and have DH sit on the bed beside you both to read her a story.

This will pass.