I trust my body, I trust my body, I...

[2boyzmama]

My body knows what it's doing, my baby knows what he's doing, I should trust that I am still pregnant for a reason.

My body knows what it's doing, my baby know what he's doing, I should trust that I am still pregnant for a reason.

Right?

I think what makes this SO hard is that my body gears up for so long! The contractions started MONTHS ago, other labor signs started weeks ago. Yet no baby.

Also what makes this hard is my mental hurdle of how big Ian and Connor were for being born in their 38th week, I worry that this baby cooking longer means he's going to be BIGGER. And yes, I know, my body is designed to do this, but I had major issues delivering Ian (however he was posterior) and even though delivering Connor was easy (easier), I had significant tearing still. I've researched and researched tearing and how to get through birth with an intact body, I think I'm better informed and educated this time, but it's still a big worry of mine. I *KNOW* I can handle labor drug-free, but god I want a bunch of lidocaine when he's crowning!!!!!

SO...I'm really trying to focus on affirmations and trust. I TRUST my body and my baby, I need to just surrender and accept that I don't control this anyway.

Who's with me??? Please tell me I'm not the only crazy one

[~Laura~]

Originally Posted by 2boyzmama

My body knows what it's doing, my baby knows what he's doing, I should trust that I am still pregnant for a reason.

Amen, mama! Have faith!

It's funny you should mention gearing up for so long. I was reading an article yesterday about mentally preparing for labor, and it said the single worst thing you can do is to keep track of "signs" and anything short of 3 mins apart, have-to-walk-and-breathe-through, contractions. It said that's the best way for a mom to drive herself crazy when it's not necessary. Of course, that's totally true, but it's hard not to do it! Ignore, ignore, ignore!

I think everyone here can relate to your feelings - we have SO many mamas still waiting for their babies. And they will all come out, and some of us will tear and some of us won't, but in October, or next year, or 5 years from now, none of that will matter, right? Focus on what matters forever - you are making a healthy baby and providing a happy home by doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing - trusting your body, letting him pick his due date, stay healthy and happy, and having faith. See, who cares about the other stuff!?

Hang in there! He's coming no matter what soon - it's just a matter of what day! This is the best part!

Laura

[mkksmom]

I don't even know what I want, but the hormones make it so hard to think rationally. I do trust my body, but part of me wants the baby to hurry up and come before my dd brings home another cold and then the other part wants at least until the weekend so I can have one more normal weekend with just my older dd. Last weekend was crazy with us trying to be careful about her getting me sick, which didn't even work.

It's hard to be patient!

So, tell me about your not tearing research because I'd love all of the help I can get in that area. I actually asked my OB about the shot of lidocaine and she said you'd need a bunch all of the way around.

[ilovejeff]

Thanks for the reminder, 2boyzmama, it's so hard to be patient. I'm so ready to meet my daughter, but I have to remember that she'll come when she's ready.

[Dmitrizmom]

Originally Posted by 2boyzmama

My body knows what it's doing, my baby knows what he's doing, I should trust that I am still pregnant for a reason.

My body knows what it's doing, my baby know what he's doing, I should trust that I am still pregnant for a reason.

...

Who's with me??? Please tell me I'm not the only crazy one

You are NOT the only crazy one. . . and I'm stealing your mantra.

[Julia24]

Aye! I was SO feeling your pain last month this time. IT know how hard it is to be 'more pregnant than ever', worrying about size and tearing,etc etc etc.

It's hard though. Try to just resign yourself to it. And frankly - look at my situation, Charlotte WAS smaller than either of my other two, even though she was born later; My body DID know she needed a little more time, yk? (although she was obviously ready, she had mec already!)

[2boyzmama]

Originally Posted by mkksmom

So, tell me about your not tearing research because I'd love all of the help I can get in that area. I actually asked my OB about the shot of lidocaine and she said you'd need a bunch all of the way around.

Basically what I've read is the following:

1. Don't let anyone touch your vagina. Some providers like to "stretch" it for you, or guide baby's head. Don't let them!!!

2. An upright or hands-and-knees position will allow more blood to flow to the area, which will allow the tissue to stretch better.

3. A squat may be detrimental because it could stretch the tissues more, also could allow too much air to touch the area and dry the tissue, leading to more tearing. This is also why the typical "pulls your knees to your head" on your back position is bad.

4. Let your body do the pushing. Try not to force the pushing, and definitely don't do the "hold you breath and count to 10" pushing. It's better to let your body birth the baby.

5. There seems to be less tearing with birthing in water, although the studies I found were small sample sizes and didn't seem to account for other variables very well. However, some of the other variables might be connected to it, i.e. if you're in water it's less likely that someone is touching you, you're probably not on your back, etc. So it might be a combination thing.

And as much as I want the lidocaine, you're right that it would require several injections, plus it blocks the body's signals to help control the pushing, so it might actually cause a tear that you might otherwise have not gotten.

[hipmummy]

Two words to prevent tearing AVOCADO OIL. I used it with ds and had two slight labial tears. I ended up pushing on my back in the end the only position we had not tried and ds finally started to come out. I swear by it and so do all of the other doulas I know.

[rebeccajm]

Originally Posted by hipmummy

Two words to prevent tearing AVOCADO OIL. I used it with ds and had two slight labial tears. I ended up pushing on my back in the end the only position we had not tried and ds finally started to come out. I swear by it and so do all of the other doulas I know.

Interesting! When did you use it? A daily thing or right before delivery? Topical or oral?

Thanks!

[~Laura~]

I have also read to NOT to do any type of perineum massage before labor. This seemed like something common that people talk about, but apparently it can actually weaken that area - even mild bruising from all the extra 'attention,' which leaves you more prone to tearing.

With my last, I was on my knees leaning over the edge of the bed and never pushed voluntarily and that was SO much better than anything I did with the other two in hospitals!!

Laura

[hipmummy]

Originally Posted by rebeccajm

Interesting! When did you use it? A daily thing or right before delivery? Topical or oral?

Thanks!

Just during pushing with some very gentle stretching nothing forced or uncomfortable. The midwife who has a two percent epi rate thought she was going to have to cut but she said the avocado oil really allowed me to stretch. You can find it at health food stores just do not open the bottle until you are pushing. Obviuosly if you are having a water birth it is not really an option. Also taking vit e daily helps as well.

[acemama]

I had an episiotomy with #1 and tore along the scar with #2. I had an epidural with both and birthed on my back with purple pushing. With #3 I birthed in water and no one told me how or when to push. I had my hand on his head as he was crowning and kept saying to myself "breathe the baby out." My goal was to just let him slowly creep out while I applied counter-pressure to his head and not push while crowning. I had no tearing that time and he was my biggest baby yet. Many times moms get to crowning and want it over so quickly that they push with all their might and don't allow time for tissue expansion. Slooooow it down at the end. We can do this!! I keep telling myself this every day since this is my longest pregnancy yet, and I'm starting to get quite anxious.

[Julia24]

ugh - I tore again this time. I just don't have the patience at the end - I want the baby OUT! yuck! I get the chills just thinking about it.