What to say after a miss?

[sunnysarah]

We have recently started ECing our 14 month old daughter. She knows the word and sign for potty when we ask her but she has not asked to go.

I am thinking that maybe she doesn't know to ask? What do you say after a miss? They are quite common in my house at the moment!
I usually point out that she is peeing (during diaper free time) and after she is done say "Next time tell Mommy and I will take you to the potty to go pee."

I thought the poops would be easy to catch but I have since realized that I only know when she IS pooping, not when she is ABOUT to poop. But we have had 5 pee catches to keep us going....

Thanks!

[mamatobe08]

I'm new to EC also, but from what I have read, what you are saying is good. Thats what we say too. Also, I have found that if I notice that 1st grunt/red face, I can run him to the potty and get him down before anything comes out! Im sure all babies are different with this, but its worth mentioning!

[sgmom]

It sounds to me like you're doing just fine. My daughter is 12 months old and whenever we have a miss (whether it be in her diaper or on the floor), I always explain to her (in as few words as I can) that pee goes in the potty. And since I've always communicated what pee IS (you're peeing! peepee! etc), and she recently learned the sign language for more, I'll sit her on the potty and ask her if she has "more peepee". Sometimes (rarely) she will finish in the potty, but most of the time she just looks down between her legs into the potty. "No pee in the potty? Okay then. All done!"

My advice for the poop is to just sit her on the potty (if you can) without upsetting her, when you catch her in the act. My daughter has recently taken to pulling herself up onto the potty and sitting on it with her diaper on. She's only done it a couple times, and has been wet everytime she's done it (so I think she's peeing before going to the potty), but I can't help but wonder if she's making the connection that that's where the pee goes, or if she just likes to sit on it.

But my point is that even without taking off the diaper, sitting on the potty to pee/poop is a great learning step towards actually doing it.

[hrsmom]

What you're saying sounds good to me! I think I'll also say something like "oh, you peed/are peeing" or if she's told me, I'll say, "Yes, you peed" and remind her it goes in the potty, etc.

[jenneology]

I think it was about that age (between 14 mos and 18 mos) when my son given lots of diaper free time (before I was ECing). When he peed on the floor, I would calmly or excitedly inform him "you know, pee goes in the potty. Next time you need to pee, the potty is right here. you can put the pee in there." At about 20 months, he started going to the potty on his own without communicating to me at all. I think starting with that is a large part of the reasons why he's potty trained (as much as I hate that term) at 2 1/2. If I could catch him in the act, I would call attention to it just simply informing him and then point him to the potty. I don't know if it never occurred to me to try to put him on the potty or if I just knew that it would be a useless struggle to try to put him on the potty. With him, I had never been able to figure out his cues or intervals, so I'm talking from pre-EC understanding (how's that for a disclaimer).

[sunnysarah]

thanks for all the feedback!

There have been a few times she has pooped while in the bathroom and I have tried to quickly pop her on the potty but that seems to throw her off and she can't finish the job.

Today we had 3 pee catches! Our most ever in one day! Each time I asked if she wanted to go potty and she nodded and walked to the bathroom. As soon as she sat down, she peed! I really needed that boost

[lisavark]

Sounds like you're doing a great job! We just had a long discussion in another thread (the one about EC in other generations and cultures) about EC success and different definitions of "grad," and the upshot of the discussion was that it's normal for young toddlers, even EC'd toddlers, to need reminding to go. Most babies don't regularly ask to go until much later (closer to a "conventional" age for potty training, usually). So, yeah, she probably doesn't know to ask, and there's no instinct to prevent peeing on the floor. So getting pee in the potty at this age is mostly intuition, timing, and lots of reminding from mom. At least that's how it was with my DD! (And she was EC'd since two weeks old...now at 18 months she's in underwear or trainers all the time during the day, but she still rarely asks to go; I ask her and take her regularly.)