Thank you for not making me feel bad.
I was expecting the "oh, you are insane. how could you NOT like breastfeeding?" gig. LOL.
I have been a little stressed out which may be adding some PPD. My husband had been out of work for 6 months and got a job when DS was a week old. He was supposed to start the following week but ended up in the ER and had emergency surgery. His new job was up in the air but thankfully he was able to start the following week. He helps out a lot at home even though his hours are nuts. He's up at 4 AM, out the door by 4:30 and home around 4-5 PM. He cooks dinner for us most nights and helps me get them to bed (I do baths during the day usually) He passes out around 7:30 (the kids go to bed around 7) so I feel like I have no time with him. I can't wait for weekends - however, soon he will start working Saturdays also.
We also have to be out of our rental house by the end of October - so I'm busy packing and figuring out our next living arrangement. And how we will afford it.
We started homeschooling this year which would be going great - I love it and my kids LOVE it with the exception of Nate (the 1 yr old). I can't find anything that he is happy doing while I do hands on stuff with the big kids. I've tried everything I can think of and he isn't crying or anything. He just sits and squeals the entire time. And then my 6 yr old has a hard time concentrating. He's always had a hard time with a lot of noise and Nate is nothing BUT noise. LOL. He's just a squealer.
My 6 yr old is great. He used to be my more difficult child but this past year he has transformed into a major helper. We have a dog who refuses to poop outside. Raymond has taken over the care of him and is feeding him and picking up his poop around the house. He helps with the new baby - gives him his pacifier and rocks his bouncy and stuff if I'm finishing up with another child. He helps oversee their bedrooms - the cleaning up toys and making beds and stuff. And he enjoys it all because he loves responsibility haha. Seriously, he loves to help.
Ari is easy. She's just always been a go with the flow kid.
Alex is difficult. He and Nate are my frustrating ones. LOL. He's just 3 and doesn't listen. I think we are at the peak of it... The entire "I can do it by myself thing" which ends up in a lot of messes. I can't wait to get out of this phase. LOL.
Nate would be easy if it weren't for his squealing and his climbing. We have a counter height table and chairs set. And thats where he plays. He climbs onto the chairs and then onto the table and just plays on the table 1/2 the day. I used to pull him down about every 10 minutes or so but just got to the point where I couldn't do it. So now he just plays up there. He's fallen once and it didn't phase him. He cried a minute or so, got kisses, and climbed up again. Other than that, he is super duper independent. Won't sit and cuddle or anything. He can do anything on his own. He likes to just go play by himself.
And then Benn. Bennett is pretty easy. He only fusses when he is hungry and then when he is tired at night. He enjoys everything and has enough big brothers and and a big sister to keep him occupied. He enjoys them talking to him and they enjoy doing it.
Okay, so I'm sorry for rambling. I just got to typing and couldn't stop. LOL.
My diet is crap. Seriously. It's always been that way. I was raised on McDonalds and Dunkin Donuts. REALLY! My dad worked nights so mom didn't see a need to cook for 2 people and decided every night should be fast food. Now I have a hard time. I can't stomach veggies. Corn and potatoes are all I will eat and corn really isn't a veggie anyways. LOL. We feed the kids healthy food but I just skip over it for myself and if I make something that I don't want to eat, I wait until bedtime and junk it up. I'm doing better about not bringing junk into the house though... but some still sneaks in.
I have no idea what my thyroid level is... and I don't have insurance. We can't afford insurance and we can't afford to pay out of pocket. The kids are on Medicaid but apparently we don't qualify? My husband was unemployed when we applied but we don't qualify for Medicaid? haha.
And nope, not going to work and no one would dare pressure me to. HAHA.. My husband would rather I stay at home and homeschool and really, we can't afford for me to work. Daycare expenses would be astronomical. And the house we are probably moving to, the public school for it, we wouldn't send the dog to. It's THAT bad.
I'm going to definitely work on my diet. And maybe some yoga or something.... maybe that will help me.
THANK YOU!
