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Should I expect a visit from CPS? - Page 2

post #21 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by MammaG View Post
My youngest let himself out at my family's summer house when he was 2. DH had left to go to the coffee shop and I forgot to latch the high latch after him. I was doing the dishes, then remembered that DS had taken off his diaper (we were potty training and let him go au natural in the summer), and couldn't remember if I'd put a new one on him.

When I went to look for him, he was just gone. I ran all over the house, shouting for him, and then looked out the back door at the ocean and my stomach lurched. I called 911 immediately. ODS kept looking inside and I ran down to the shore to look there.

As DH and the police showed up, here comes DS, trotting down the (small, private) road in nothing but a diaper and rain boots, happy as a clam. No idea where he had been. It had been about 10 minutes since I noticed him gone and I was steely-eyed fine until I saw him again and then I got absolutely hysterical with relief.....cop suggested a stiff whiskey...it was before 10AM!

If I didn't get a CPS call, you certainly won't!

LMAO. The same thing (almost) happened to us when DD was a tot. We were at my brother's, I was sleeping (it was like 5am) and she got out, in the winter, wearing a diaper and a neighbor came and knocked on the door holding her. This was also on a dirt road and my brother has a lakefront home. Yikes!
The nieghbor (a mother herself) didn't call anyone. But I sure am glad she was outside!
post #22 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandynee22 View Post
They aren't mandated anyway
BTW,there is actually no way to know that. They might not be mandated as a result of their type of work, but in some locales, all residents are mandated reporters...or they could, for example, be foster parents or otherwise be mandated reporters for non-occupational reasons.
post #23 of 57
I wouldn't worry. I am sure these guys are parents and most parents try to extend compasion towards one another.

Here is my story:
About a month ago DH was out of town on business. My two dogs needed a potty break so I stepped onto the back porch with them (no fenced in yard) and closed the door behind me to keep bugs out and DS in (he was naked since we just ate dinner and were on our way to a bath). The door is all glass and DS (21 mo) was playing right inside with his cars. I turn my back to the door and a second or two later I hear "click". I turned aound in horror to see DS had locked me out!

I tried to encourage him to play with the lock more and let Mommy in, but he could see panic in my eyes and started sobbing. I ran all over the house and every stinking window was locked. I tried every garden tool I could to wedge open the door and even tried breaking a window.

Finally I ran next door to ask the gentleman who lived there to help me (we never met). He comes to my back porch to see a sweaty, barefoot woman pressed up to a glass door trying to calm her sobbing, NAKED child. He tried to break pen the door (no luck) and finally calls the fire department. At that point my son just laid down on the floor, curled up and sobed. I could not stand the site of him like that, grabbed a shovel, jammed it into the door frame and slammed with all 120lbs of me and broke through the door.

The neighboor just said "Wow!" and called the fire department to cancel.

CPS was never called although I am certain he thinks I am crazy.
post #24 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by ians_mommy View Post
Finally I ran next door to ask the gentleman who lived there to help me (we never met). He comes to my back porch to see a sweaty, barefoot woman pressed up to a glass door trying to calm her sobbing, NAKED child. He tried to break pen the door (no luck) and finally calls the fire department. At that point my son just laid down on the floor, curled up and sobed. I could not stand the site of him like that, grabbed a shovel, jammed it into the door frame and slammed with all 120lbs of me and broke through the door.

The neighboor just said "Wow!" and called the fire department to cancel.

CPS was never called although I am certain he thinks I am crazy.
Supermama! You go, girl ... show that blinkin' locked door who's boss!
Your story pulled my heartstrings (sobbing baby) and made me laugh (you breaking the door in) ...
post #25 of 57
Can I just say the thing that I think I shouldnt be saying????????? I am totally stereotyping here, but this is the gist I get from my hubby and how he reacts and all the things I have read here.

They were men right? I dont think men even know there is a CPS. I think they are easier on the whole screw up thing than women are.

K, I said it. I think it is the pink elephant.
post #26 of 57
I think your dh needs to STFU when you're sick. If he's really freaked out he can do the dishes, etc, himself.

My dh is the same way when he gets freaked out. Starts complaining to me about stuff I can't change and starts getting me freaked out. And you know what? He's been wrong nearly every time and the few times he was right it was only about a tenth as bad as he said it'd be.

If he started in on something like that while I had the flu, I'd tell him to shove it.
post #27 of 57
at the bus toy and going to go see the bus. (also
post #28 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2cutiekitties View Post
Can I just say the thing that I think I shouldnt be saying????????? I am totally stereotyping here, but this is the gist I get from my hubby and how he reacts and all the things I have read here.

They were men right? I dont think men even know there is a CPS. I think they are easier on the whole screw up thing than women are.

K, I said it. I think it is the pink elephant.
LOL. You're probably right.

I personally do NOT think CPS should be called if a kid gets out of the house one single time. It's one of those things that happens to anybody. Tons of people in this country leave a child with one thirteen-year-old while they are at work! Three-year-olds have go-cart races on gravel roads! I mean sheesh. If CPS has time to investigate that... but not repeated reports of children looking emaciated, starving to death, then I think people who call in every naked toddler should think about the resources they are using up. I mean really.

OP, I hope they don't call CPS. I also hope you can get some support, although frankly, an eight-year-old watching a toddler in a family room with a lock while sick mom rests and dad is in law school doesn't sound like an end-of-the-world situation to me. I mean hard for you but kids have been through hella worse.
post #29 of 57
That must have been scary, but I'm very glad that everyone is OK and that nothing happened!

As for BTDT stories, um, I did it. Took myself off out the front door when my grandpa and dad were watching me (and Dad has not heard the end of that one and it's been more than 20 years). I wanted to go to the shops, because Mum was at the shops, and no one would take me so I took myself!

I got halfway there before realising that I was lost and then I got upset and apparently sat on the side of the road crying. Luckily a neighbour walked by then and found me and took me home, where everyone was in a state of panic searching for me (Mum had just arrived home).
post #30 of 57
OMG! i bet your heart was in your stomach!

ok so here is my story...

my Aunt, my cousin and i were at the mall. my cousin was 2ish and he use to always hide under the racks and such. well my aunt and i were looking around we turned to find him NO WHERE!!!! i started to look under ALL the racks and she is running around frantic!!!! as we dart over to the nearest cash register to report him missing we hear the "if a mother has lost a small boy please report to the customer service center" announcement over the loud speaker.

we go to customer service to find him wrapped in a mens dress coat. a women working in the mens suit department found him. he had managed to get naked (so like him at 2 he LOVED to be nakkie as he would say!!!!) and she had to wrap him in a coat to take him to customer service. i remember my aunt sobbing and all my cousin said is " look mommy i am nakkie" "I's took my's cloths off all by myself are you proud" is was soooo not cute right there and then, but now i look back and LMAO!!!!

but my poor aunt was the same way... i could tell she was heart broken!!! but it all worked out and now we have a funny butt story to tell!!!!
post #31 of 57
I think that if CPS had been called, they would have come out already.

My youngest got out right before his 2nd birthday. It was during Christmas break, all 4 kids were home, and I was putting away clothes in my bedroom, and the kids were watching TV in the livingroom. I came out and the door was wide open and no Youngest. The other kids didn't see him leave. I went out and didn't see him. I screamed his name. No Youngest. I told Oldest to get on his bike and look for the baby and I called 911.

Oldest came back and told me that Youngest was on the next block, and two ladies were bringing him back. They found him playing in a mud puddle, in his onesie, happy as a clam. I thanked the ladies profusely, while they blessed me out for him getting out. I was so grateful, I didn't complain. The cops showed up, within 5 minutes and thankfully, they did not call CPS. The one officer told me that he would not call CPS because I didn't have a record of my kids getting out and that he felt I had been through enough. I still went on a cleaning frenzy and watched my door for a few days. We also had a slide lock installed immediately at the top of the door.

It happens.

One other thing. I completed my college degree last Fall. I still managed to clean the house and care for my kids. My cousin just completed her PhD and still cared for her two kids and her home, and even held down a job. Your S.O. may be busy, but you are sick. Surely he can manage a couple of hours to clean up the house. I cannot believe that he has absolutely no time whatsoever. Not to be mean, but I think it seems awfully entitlement-minded or like a cop-out. I wonder how he would like it if he were sick and you had no time for him?
post #32 of 57
CPS probably would have checked in with you if they were coming. Tell your husband to do the dishes and the laundry. You are sick and husbands should have compassion and love for their wives, especially when they are sick. If he isn't even willing to help out once a year when you are sick you need to re-think spending the rest of your life tied to him. School is stressful, but many single mom's go to school, work, and keep their kids clean and well fed. It isn't to much to ask that he does this for a few days while you recover.
post #33 of 57
Thread Starter 
**long rant removed since this probably isn't the time or place**

There may be a thread in PaP soon, though

(besides, it's not like I have man-flu or anything )
post #34 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by vegemamato View Post
(besides, it's not like I have man-flu or anything )


BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

Sorry. Totally OT, I know. But that's just so... true!
post #35 of 57
it happens at this age i guess. my dh did this when he was about 18 mo/2 yrs old. early one morning he got up and decided he wanted to see the trains down the road so off he went. he was found walking down the sidewalk and brought back. no actions were taken against his family.
post #36 of 57
Something sort of similar happened to me. DD, 4, opened the front door without me knowing and let DS who has just learned to walk out and we live in a second floor apartment! I ran from the laundry room and caught him right before he went down the stairs.

I think the people who found your little one saw your worry and concern and see what happened as a mistake and wouldn't call CPS on you.
post #37 of 57
My ds escaped more than once over the course of a few days when we first moved to our old house. I didn't have internet so I had to sit in the doorway of the back laundry room (which opened onto the backyard) in order to pick up a signal. I would sit there while ds palyed a few feet from me in the yard. Once I stepped inside the hosue to get my phone and called him to come with me. He was right behind me, grabbing at my legs as I opened the closet door to get the dharger. Then I disengaged him from my legs so I step inside to get teh charger, and when I pulled my head back out, he was nowhere to be seen! I ran out the back door calling him, but he didn't answer, so I headed in the direction of the mailbox/sideyard where he liked to go. Turned out he had gone the other direction looking for our neighbor's puppy. By the time I found him he was three houses down, calling out for the puppy and completely unconcerned.

The worst part? It was a super hot day and he was playing with the water hose, so all he had on was swim trunks, which he apparently slipped off and left in the niehgbor's birdbath. When I found him he was completely naked. It was only about 5 minutes if that before I caught up to him (and it would have been sooner if I started looking in the right direction) but boy was that terrifying. I had visions of him eating dog poop, running into the street or worse.
post #38 of 57
I've been through this too many times to count with more than one child.

The police have even been to see me after my neighbor (who is the one who called the police) tried to "catch" my daughter when she decided to go on a walkabout. (My little girl has been taught to NEVER talk to strangers and to get away as fast as she can if someone she doesn't know tries to approach her.) They also showed up when one of them was sitting out by the mail box waiting on the mail. A "well-meaning" individual decided to make that call. My oldest son when he was 3 would get a chair and unlock all the locks on the door and disapear at 6 am in the morning to walk across our apartment complex to our neighbors place. Just recently they were in to dialing 911 after my DH put in a new phone. I had a real nice visit with the police that day, and they did it again twice after that. We're almost on a first name basis with the poilce now.

Maybe there is a perfect mom or two out there who would be absolutely horrified and think you were the worst mom ever but it's not me. There's no way that i'm pointing a finger but i will give you a hug and kiss to tell you it's not the worst thing your child will ever do....I promise.

Lots of children try to "make a break for it" once in a while...no big deal. Just make sure they always want to come back home.
post #39 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by vegemamato View Post
which brings me to your concern about me not having support.. which I don't have. We just moved here, many states away from our family/friends, and we really don't have anyone to call. I would love for my partner to be here more but he says that he has NO time.. The free time that he does have, he has spent with other law students (which is going to be saved for another thread down the road ). I do manage to get things done (we homeschool too) but I can see how I look overwhelmed

I usually do well with everything on my plate, but def not during the 1x/year that I get sick.. (I most likely have H1N1, since it's all over our area right now).
Hi again OP, you didn't really say anything about whether you'd ever talk to your DH about having a plan next time you are sick. And it *still* sounds to me like he is unexplainably unhelpful/unavailable to help, which like I said I don't understand because I've been a law student and in emergencies there is always a way to accomodate school and your family if you have to.

You don't have to address this if you don't want to, but I just want to remind you again that you DO have the right to sit DH down and say "Ok, this didn't work well, and we need to figure out how you can help more with our child."

In my experience when DH's say they're too busy because of school/work/whatever, it never ends, even if that activity ends. If your DH is too busy to help you now while he's in school, what is it going to be like when he gets his first law job?

It's just not ok to not be there for your partner when they're sick unless you have a really excellent reason not to be able to be there. Your DH doesn't sound like he had that, and I'm still left wondering what your relationship with him is like and why you're not able to talk to him about this and try to work out something that will work for both of you...?

Whatever you do or don't do, I hope you're feeling much better and let's all be happy that CPS never showed up!
post #40 of 57
Thread Starter 
Hey LROM

My issues with dh were my *deleted* rant

I can't get into it much right now, but I'll post something in PaP.. I will say though, that I threw a sarcastic comment his way (unlike me, but I've been feeling off due to being sick) and he caught on quickly- and became very defensive

We do need to talk- especially about him picking on me when it comes to ALL of our (i.e. my) household/child related 'duties'..

(he had the nerve to say, yesterday, "I picked up the bathroom, and that's all that I'm contributing today" I would've appreciated it more if there was a mess or something, but there were, like, two pieces of tp in there and maybe a brush on the counter since I ALREADY CLEANED THE BATHROOM!.. )
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