diagnose me for fun (real appt coming up)

[elf]

so I do have my first appt with a psychiatrist in oct. btw, crazy how long it takes to get in once you finally get the courage to make the appointment.

anyhoo---i have been putting off making an appt b/c i am so afraid of being "labeled" just after one appt with someone. let alone being labeled at all and all the stigma that comes with it for the rest of my life.

incase anyone wants to give me their two cents on what you think my diagnosis will be and what my treatment will be.....i'm interested. i kind of want to be prepared.

i have had some depression issues all of my life. even as a kid, if i wasn't on a "schedule" and had lots of sports and activities in my life, looking back, I would be depressed. had some ppd that i dealt with through counseling. I was on an ssri once in my life, for anxiety and depression 8 years ago (effexor) and it was such a bad experience that i have been super super super afraid to go back on one.

so here is what has made me make the appointment:
--depression
--anger issues (super way more when I am tired....like late at night I will blow up at DH. if he says one wrong thing I become irrational--the next day once I have slept, i realize how "crazy" i was)
--paranoia (irrational fear that someone is in the house). again only when I am tired. for example: if I am behind on sleep b/c of our baby and then I have to work until 3 in the morning, this symptom gets worse. our babe usually sleeps in until 8:45 so from the time my husband leaves for work around 7 AM until the baby wakes up (although I am super super super tired and should sleep) I am afraid---super afraid. I really don't feel better about it until babe is up and I open all the curtains and doors and let the world into our house.
--never really had a manic phase of sorts but the last week of july I did have a week where i felt "agitated". there was about 24 hours where I had a lot of confidence and felt unstoppable (although it actually helped me confront a few people at work, it was so different from how i normallly feel, it scared me). it only lasted for about a day but the agitation lasted for about a week.
--just always been a paranoid person. i thought it was due to lack of confidence but I think i have a paranoid personality. always thinking people at work are talking about me etc.

I want to be a better person for my husband. besides the depression, these symptoms only seem to really effect my life when I am tired. therefore, our babe isn't exposed to them. I want to get my anger and irrational thoughts under control.

I have a feeling I am bipolar but the paranoid aspect of it confuses me. perhaps I have paranoid personality disorder with some bipolar?????

anyone want to take a stab at diagnosing me and then give me your treatment plan?

[PaulaJoAnne]

Not to downplay anything else, but I am going to guess that you have some serious nutrional problems.
I can expound if you like.

[elf]

my diet is terrible right now. basically for the last year (since i had a babe) my diet has been worse than it ever has been. lots of processed food. eating on the go etc.

could this be causing some of these symptoms?

[AFWife]

Yes, nutrition plays a HUGE part in mental/behavioral health. I don't know the specifics (maybe the PP can help) but I do know that vitamin levels in your body can have major effects

[PaulaJoAnne]

Try this for an experiment.
For the next 7 days, do not eat any processed foods. Zero.None.
And cut out all gluten as well.
For breakfast, eat eggs and meat, with a bit of potato or rice if needed.
Use LOTS of butter.
And make sure you are using a good Sea Salt. Celtic is best.
For lunches and dinners, eat a good variety of vegs and meats, again, liberal useage of butter.
Snack on nuts and cheese, and veges and apples as needed.
Try and get a hold of some liver, chicken liver is a good start, and eat that sauted in lots of butter several times this week.
And, if you drink milk make sure its whole milk and unhomogenized.
If you have access to raw, do that.
The traditional foods forum might interst you quite a bit, and I can assure you, we can help a great deal.

Here is my "unprofessional" diagnoses
You are very low in iron, B12, and Iodine for starters.
Your thyroid and adrenals are beyond stressed, and your gut is teaming with junk that should not be there.
And your body is screaming for real saturated fats, which support good brain health, never miond good cellular health.

You are also likely in desparate need of good animal sourced Vitamin A and D, all of which can be gotten by taking a good cod liver oil.

[Shantimama]

I don't think you should worry so much about labels. Yes, a psychiatrist has to have something to put down for billing purposes, but they don't use labels like bipolar or personality disorders lightly. Those kind of diagnoses come from longstanding behaviour, not a one-time occurrence. There is a whole set of symptoms to be met before any diagnosis can be made for each individual label. There are some looser, more generic labels that can be used for insurance purposes if that is what is most fitting.

Also, many conditions listed in the DSM are temporary, so even if you are 'labelled' with something it doesn't mean you will be stuck with it for life. Not everything listed as a mental illness or disorder is a lifelong sentence.

Sleep deprivation and nutritional imbalance can affect your psychological well being but does not necessarily imply that you have a major psychiatric disorder.

I hope your appointment goes well and you find some assistance with the issues you want to address.

[Porcelain Interior]

Most psych doctors do tentative labels. They will say well it seems like/sounds like xyz.

Unless it's glaringly obvious and then they just break the news.

You could just have major depression/ppd complications. You could be Bipolar II (hi! me too), and it definitely seems like you're experiencing some extreme anxiety- this can make you paranoid as can lack of sleep.

Kudos to you for knowing something isn't right and doing something about it!

The best psych doctors aren't gung ho to lock you into a diagnosis or label, they want to help you feel better.

And you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to, I rarely tell people anymore. I'm totally stable and I don't see the need.

I do tell when I see people struggling though. I have no shame about it.

[Carley]

Originally Posted by elf

I have a feeling I am bipolar but the paranoid aspect of it confuses me. perhaps I have paranoid personality disorder with some bipolar?????

It makes sense that you have Bipolar disorder, right? I understand what you're going through, but it seems like it's clear that you know who you are.

Everything you wrote out is going to be beneficial to your psychiatrist. The note about the SSRI's impact on your mental health is particularly important, as SSRI's effect on a Bipolar brain can have disasterous consequences.

You clearly have excellent instincts that are leading you on the right path. You have an incredible intuition - so many people with Bipolar disorder suffer in silence indefinitely. It ruins lives.

Sending you lots of

[azgirl]

I recognize a lot...

I just wanted to chime in. I recognize a lot of what you posted. I have suffered from depression since I was a child but I really went off the rails a few months after I had my baby. I went to a psychiatrist who happened to be awesome (I was surprised) He believed in meds, of course But he also prescribed high doses of EPA in the form of fish oil. He even gave me a printed list of brands. I take Nordic Naturals Ultimate Omega, 4 a day along with some other stuff. He also prescribed exercise. It has been over a year but I have worked up to 60 minutes of intense cardio every morning. It took until my baby was really really sleeping well because....I have a profound need for sleep.

I don't want to minimize your other symptoms or the possibility that you have a serious problem...but my psychiatrist absolutely believes that sleep deprivation can cause mental disturbances that would not otherwise be there and that can resolve completely once good sleep is established. Now, one of the biggest symptoms of my depression was that after my last breast-pumping session from 3 to 4am I would not be able to go back to sleep, even though I desperately needed it. I had intense, irrational, racing thoughts. Zoloft helped with that. How old is your baby?

You have gotten great nutrition advice...if it is too intimidating just concentrate on getting as much protein as possible (in the form of meat, eggs and dairy) and increase your fats (butter, cream, coconut oil) and really try to cut out processed food and sugar. Eat some fresh fruits and veggies if you can. I was a vegetarian in college and growing up we were poor and we ate a lot of carbs to pad out small portions of meat. Luckily my mom wasn't into low-fat. Anyway, I think low-protein and low-fat diets can be really detrimental.

When I was in the throes of my illness I really thought I was messed up. I had struggled with mental health issues my whole life. I started Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with a therapist about the same time as I started going to the psychiatrist. I did workbooks with my therapist (Mind over Mood was one) and I really worked to change some long-standing thinking patterns. It has made a huge difference. I have NEVER EVER felt better even though I have been off meds for 6 months. I used to be paranoid too...but for me it stemmed from me thinking that I could not handle bad things...like I would be devastated if people were talking about me or didn't like me. I still struggle a bit and always will, but I feel wonderful

I know this has been all about me, but I just totally related to your post. You asked for a diagnosis...I think you are very sensitive. Your mental state really suffers when you don't take care of yourself: you need adequate sleep, good nutrition and exercise. Everybody should do these things, but you must do them to feel okay. You have some thinking patterns that you may not even be aware of that are really contributing to depression, anxiety and paranoia. I would be really wary if, based on the description you have given us, your doc gives you a serious diagnosis and tells you that you will need to be on drugs the rest of your life. Good psychiatrists are out there! As are good therapists. I would really go the CBT route. It has been proven to help When I was really messed up, I would post on MDC constantly looking for hope. I loved the "success" stories even thought I didn't really believe I could get better. I will tell you that you can feel much, much better. Good luck and please keep us posted!

[elf]

Thank you so much everyone for the advice (esp about nutrition and vitamins).

I also really appreciate other people's stories. It is good to hear what helped other people. I love hearing success stories b/c right now I am afraid of my head. Like I am going to be stuck thinking like this and feeling like this for the rest of my life.

My babe is 1.5 yrs old. she weaned a few months ago. I also feel that a few months after the full wean, my hormones changed, my periods changed and obviously my mood changed.

So question: the real butter "lots of butter" helps your brain function right?

[PaulaJoAnne]

Originally Posted by elf

My babe is 1.5 yrs old. she weaned a few months ago. I also feel that a few months after the full wean, my hormones changed, my periods changed and obviously my mood changed.

So question: the real butter "lots of butter" helps your brain function right?

A foggy "head" one that is not seeing clearly or rationally, will most likey benefit a great deal from real fats.
Butter and raw coconut oil every day are a wonderful start.
But remember, if you are still consuming processed foods, you will cancel out the good stuff that you may be adding in.

Yoy mention noticing your hormones taking a big shift, so certainly you thyroid and adrenals are being suppressed.

TO give you an idea of what a traditional diet for a day can look like, here is what I blogged a couple of weeks ago.

Today, I signed up over at www.fitday.com.
Its a free calorie tracker, and very easy to use.
My Traditional foods way of eating, tends to lean towards a Paleo format, with the exception of lots of raw dairy and a little bit of brown rice.

Here is the breakdown of Thursdays foods that I ate, in no particular order.
Fat, Carbs and protien are measured in grams.

Lard, 8 Tbls, 924 Calories, 102.4 fat(real lard, not store bought hydrogynated)

Raw butter, 4 Tbls, 407 Calories, 46.1 fat

Raw whole milk, 2 cups, 293 calories, 15.9 fat, 22.1 Carbs, 15.7 protein.

4 farm fresh eggs, 286 calories, 19.9 fat, 1.5 carbs, 25.2 protein

Banana, 1, 105 Calories, 0.4 fat, 27.0 carbs, 1.3 Protein

Carrots, 1 cup, 45 Calories, 0.3 fat, 10.5 carbs, 1.0 protien

Brown rice, 1 cup cooked, 215 calories, 1.7 fat, 44.4 Carbs, 5.0 protein

Red meat (Bear) 486 Calories, 16.3 Fat, 0.0 carbs, 79.3 Protien

Corn Tortilla, 2 small, 47 calories, 0.6 fat, 9.6 carbs, 1.2 protein

Raw Ice Cream, 1 cup, (has 1/3 of a raw yolk and 2 tsp of raw honey) 156 Calories, 13.8 fat, 5.2 Carbs, 3.6 Protein

Totals:
2,964 Calories, 217 grams of fat, 120 grams Carbs and 132.7 grams of Protein

Percentages:
66% fat, 16% carbs, 18 Percent Protein.

Now, I ate a great deal of calories this day, but I was also very active, stacking wood, hauling dirt, etc.

I also took Ioderal and Maca Root for supporting my thyroid and adrenals, as well as fermented cod liver oil.
I consumed no gluten containing grains, because those things greatly suppress my brain function, and cause extreme body aches.

[Carley]

Diet & everything else mentioned are absolutely wonderful steps towards wellness, however serious neurological conditions like Bipolar disorder require medication as well as lifestyle changes. Definitely bring your list of symptoms, past experiences & instincts with you to your psychiatrist's appointment!!! & make sure to update us!

[peachsara]

Wow! I opened this thread thinking that I could be helpful but you have already gotten some wonderful advice!

It does sound like a bipolar spectrum disorder. But, it is entirely possible that it could be adequately regulated with nutrition, supplements, exercise, and a more consistent sleep schedule. Good luck feeling better, mama!

[Carley]

Originally Posted by peachsara

It does sound like a bipolar spectrum disorder. But, it is entirely possible that it could be adequately regulated with nutrition, supplements, exercise, and a more consistent sleep schedule.

I totally expect you have the best intentions, however people with Bipolar disorder needn't settle for an "adequate" life when an "awesome" life is possible with the addition of medication.

Yes, someone with Bipolar disorder can probably survive by simply making lifestyle changes, however that person is never going to realize what having a normal, thriving life will be like without medication. Suicide (& divorce) statistics among unmedicated individuals with Bipolar disorder are sky high whereas among medicated individuals they are the same and less than the general population. "Adequate" with Bipolar disorder often isn't enough, KWIM?

Bipolar disorder is also a degenerative seizure disorder. The longer one goes with uncontrolled episodes (which are seizures on one side of the brain) the more brain damage is done leading to more frequent & lengthier depressive episodes.

Good luck OP! The beautiful life is possible!

[peachsara]

I'm not saying that she rely soley on diet to "cure" her if she needs additional help. Many psychotropic medicines take a long time to fully get into the patient's system and I was agreeing that alternative means of relief would be worth trying in the meantime. Plus, as the OP said, it is insane how long it takes to be able to see the dr once you've worked up the courage to ask for help.

I am not against psychotropic drugs but I do think that not everyone who takes them needs them. I'm not trying to imply that the OP should blow off her pdoc if she is given an Rx for an anti-depressant. I'm just saying that there are options available to her that she could utilize in conjunction with the meds, if her pdoc believes that they are necessary.

I am truly grateful for antidepressants and mood stabilizers. I'm just the type of person that wants to look for a reason why something is happen instead of just treating it and ignoring the cause. B/c I'm pretty sure that many people with Bipolar Disorder, if asked about their quality of life from meds alone, would answer "adequate".

I guess I'm just cautious about telling anyone 'if you take this magic pill, your life will be awesome' b/c they might wake up one day with everything crashing around them even though they are taking their meds. I just support a more comprehensive treatment plan than rx drugs alone. But, that is just my opinion as a mama living with Bipolar Disorder.

[Carley]

Originally Posted by peachsara

B/c I'm pretty sure that many people with Bipolar Disorder, if asked about their quality of life from meds alone, would answer "adequate".

We agree that medication along with lifestyle changes is the key to success with Bipolar Disorder. As I said before, Bipolar disorder requires medication as well as lifestyle changes.

Yes, life happens to those of us with Bipolar Disorder. Medication does not exempt us from life, however medication can provide us with a normal spectrum in which we can live so we can deal with life without the addition of physical crisis.

Many of us have learned ineffective communication, negative self-talk/self loathing and other psychological dis-ease. Those traits can be dealt with much easier when medicated. Dealing with those psychological dis-ease is something the general public suffers with - not just people with a mental illness. Without the barrier of our mental illness, however, we have an equal opportunity to cope, heal & live better lives for it.

I'm one of the many people with Bipolar I Disorder who views their life as awesome. My wellness and treatment are my life. I take medication, live a wholesome lifestyle, focus on psychological wellness and spirituality... my life is important to me. I live my life so it will be awesome. Medication makes that possible. We all have choices - medication is one of those choices for people with Bipolar Disorder that will open doors for all the rest. What you do with that rest is up to you.

[elf]

Thank you for your input. I agree, both lifestyle and meds. Although I am still deathly afraid of the meds.

I have been taking fish oil, vitamin Bs, and vitamin D. Eating way better, drinking TONS of water and way less diet pop. I am actually feeling less depressed. I hope I am not flipping back into the mild mania I think I went through in the beginning of August. My appt is in 1 week.

FUnny how I felt so stable when pregnant and breastfeeding. A few months after the wean is when all of this started. Ugh.

[PaulaJoAnne]

Originally Posted by elf

Thank you for your input. I agree, both lifestyle and meds. Although I am still deathly afraid of the meds.

I have been taking fish oil, vitamin Bs, and vitamin D. Eating way better, drinking TONS of water and way less diet pop. I am actually feeling less depressed. I hope I am not flipping back into the mild mania I think I went through in the beginning of August. My appt is in 1 week.

FUnny how I felt so stable when pregnant and breastfeeding. A few months after the wean is when all of this started. Ugh.

I would say you certainly have a hormone issue going on.
And, just so you know, the sweetners in diet pop, are neurotoxins.
Ring a bell, maybe?

[peachsara]

Originally Posted by elf

Thank you for your input. I agree, both lifestyle and meds. Although I am still deathly afraid of the meds.

I have been taking fish oil, vitamin Bs, and vitamin D. Eating way better, drinking TONS of water and way less diet pop. I am actually feeling less depressed. I hope I am not flipping back into the mild mania I think I went through in the beginning of August. My appt is in 1 week.

FUnny how I felt so stable when pregnant and breastfeeding. A few months after the wean is when all of this started. Ugh.

If you think that you have any problems with mood instabilities, definately stay away from any artificial sweetners (like Aspartame). There have been some studies that have shown them to exacerbate bipolar symptoms.

I hope you feel better soon!

*I just thought about this: make sure your dr checks your thyroid levels as well, please*

[ASusan]

Lots of great advice upthread. I just wanted to make one comment. It is unlikely that you would get a paranoid personality disorder dx. One of the main characteristics of a personality disorder is that it feels like you - there is no recognition that the different (paranoid, in this case) behavior is odd or troubling or causing problems. It just feels like "you," so people with personality disorders typically have very little insight into their mental difficulties; they don't typically seek out treatment (because they feel no need for treatment); and they are resistent to changing, because, after all, they would be changing a part of who they are, fundamentally.

From what I read, you see the paranoia as a problem - as something that is happening to you, but is not a PART OF you. Do you see the difference?

Yes, you may have anxiety and paranoia, but I do not think you would get a diagnosis of a paranoid personality disorder.

Off to take some fish oil...