Best way to find "crunchy" childcare? - Page 2

[JL83]

Originally Posted by curiouscanadian

Caneel, sounds like you found an AWESOME daycare, can you ask them please to open another one where I live?? Honestly though I hadn't really considered daycares because I liked the idea of a consistent caregiver, but I suppose I ought to at least look. The sitter he's with is through a dayhome agency so they follow a lot of daycare-type standards and policies just in a smaller setting. (Unfortunately the agency doesn't seem to have much in the lines of other openings at the moment.)

I was worried about consistency too. But what I found was that the good centers seemed to have at least 1 staff member who always stays in room and then a few who float. Our daycare has 5 rooms, and the main person in each room has been there for longer than we've been there. The other staff have a decent turn over rate (as in it takes them awhile to find someone who sticks around) but that doesn't seem to effect the kids.

The fact is that babies and kids are able to accept having more than a couple people in their lives. Think about a family, our DD was perfectly happy with all 4 grandparents, 6 aunts and uncles and the 2 or 3 close friends. She preferred her mommy and daddy, but was happy and content with those other people.

network, network, network -- but also realize that you are going to have to give up some things. I was very happy with our small day care center, but they used time outs (what are you gonna do with 12 kids?) and there was ocasional TV. You may not find someone who going to be "just like you," and that's OK. It will be good for your kid to have a different experience with someone else.

I have to say that our daycare doesn't use time-outs. The most they do is have the kid come sit with them at the craft table or during snack so that they can keep an eye on the kid (and spend some 1on1 time with the kid who's misbehaving). Time-outs aren't necessary even when there's 12 to 18 2 or 3yos in a room.

[nina_yyc]

Originally Posted by curiouscanadian

We do have a local AP group but they meet once a month during the day which I can't make because I'm back to work already. I think I'll try the LLL group though, it meets next week anyway. ETA: This is part of my problem, my few RL "crunchy" contacts all seem to meet during the week, and now that I've gone back to work I don't see them anymore
....
I'd love to do this, but again, working during the day... How do you vette them when you can't see them in action so to speak, or do I really need to take time off work to do this? (How important is it?)

I hear you on the crunchy groups meeting during the day. Personally I got zero recommendations from our local AP group since the overwhelming majority are SAHMs. I wish more of them would open day homes!

I asked a couple of screening questions over the phone, then saved a few for the interview. For example, I didn't step foot in the home of someone who would leave a baby to CIO, but figured that we could talk about food or cloth diapering in person. I also asked over the phone about certifications. Since I was looking at unlicensed day homes, I wanted to see a first-aid certificate and police background check, or have the person be willing to get one.

IMO, it's very important to do an interview in person for a day home. A sitter, I could maybe meet for lunch. A day home, you're looking at the older kids, the cleanliness (i.e. baby-proofness) of the home, how the provider and other kids will interact with your DC, and how closely the provider's actual practices line up with what they say. I know it seems like if you can give a plausible answer over the phone, you'd at least put slight effort into maintaining the appearance throughout the interview, but on interviews I saw messy homes - not toys on the floor, but just pervasive clutter and pieces of paper that my baby would have eaten - fighting kids, TV on ("Oh, that's not TV, it's just a DVD), Froot Loops as snacks, etc.

[JL83]

I have to agree that going and seeing is super important.

I thought I'd found a good home daycare. The lady seemed awesome on the phone. She claimed to cook all her meals from scratch and was even willing to use (and wash) her own cloth diapers on DD.

Then I went to see her house. The place was a disaster. There were the remnants of multiple meals worth of dried food on the table and lots of food on the floor. The floor was dirty, almost sticky. She had no system/organization in place for any kind of order. She had a couple large bins for toys, so everything got dumped on the floor anytime a kid wanted a toy.

And then came the kicker... She informed me that normally she did exchanged in the house's porch. I was to call when I was 5 minutes away and she'd have DD in her coat and shoes ready to hand to me in the porch. And for drop offs I wasn't to enter the house, just hand her DD through her front door. She claimed it helped with transitions.

That was what sent us to a center. I realized that I couldn't trust 1 adult alone all day with my child.

[Caneel]

[QUOTE=JL83;14419633]I have to agree that going and seeing is super important.

I thought I'd found a good home daycare. The lady seemed awesome on the phone. She claimed to cook all her meals from scratch and was even willing to use (and wash) her own cloth diapers on DD.

Then I went to see her house. The place was a disaster. There were the remnants of multiple meals worth of dried food on the table and lots of food on the floor. The floor was dirty, almost sticky. She had no system/organization in place for any kind of order. She had a couple large bins for toys, so everything got dumped on the floor anytime a kid wanted a toy.

And then came the kicker... She informed me that normally she did exchanged in the house's porch. I was to call when I was 5 minutes away and she'd have DD in her coat and shoes ready to hand to me in the porch. And for drop offs I wasn't to enter the house, just hand her DD through her front door. She claimed it helped with transitions.

That was what sent us to a center. I realized that I couldn't trust 1 adult alone all day with my child.[/QUOTE]

I had nearly the exact same experience. When researching child care while pregnant, I was 100% set on a small in-home situation.

I visited someone (licensed) that I had several highly complimentary recommendation from families I knew well.

Immediately on entering I knew it was not the right place for us. It was just like what is described above. Which led me to wonder, if this is how she keeps her place of business, what is her personal life like? (It was in-home so I had concerns about what went on under her roof.)

While the others I visted before and after this one presented a better first impression, my comfort level steered me towards a small facility.

The staff at DS's daycare is nearly all long-term. I have seen some turnover in the aide positions, nearly all recent college grads taking the first early childhood job they can find before jumping ship for a teaching position later on.

I am ok with that. My feeling is we are the consistants in DS's life and it is ok that he gets exposed to different people at (now) preschool (at the same facility) if the core is stable.

[KSLaura]

Have you considered an au pair? For us it ends up being cheaper than daycare was. The kids stay in my house with my food and rules!

[readytobedone]

IME, you have to let something go...DD's first daycare served healthy whole foods, and she got very individualized care (only baby). but the provider let her CIO without my permission, and i didn't always like the way she spoke to her. lots of "no" without explanations or redirection, etc.

where DD is now, they never CIO. they do not shame or punish. the most they will do is separate a violent kid from the rest of the class and sit with him/her and read books. they are uber gentle. but the food is your basic daycare fare--crackers, grilled cheese, mac and cheese, chicken nuggets. in the end, for me, food was much less important than the GD/sleep issues.

if you find a place that offers it all, even better!

[curiouscanadian]

Thanks for the tips everyone. I do realize I'm never going to get everything I want. In fact, it's not really the crunchy things that are pushing me to find another caregiver, it's the sitter's unruly dog who chews on all of DS's stuff & jumps on & nips at adults that has me thinking of alternates.

As long as DS is happy & generally well cared for I can work with her on the rest. Like I said, she generally is willing to humor me. I posted the question more so that if I do finally decide I have to find someone else I'd have some ideas on where & how best to look.

[mrscookie]

My friend babysits my son two days a week. I met her through one of the local mommy groups and she was one of the very few moms there that was co-sleeping, babywearing, etc.
It's really valuable to me that she's smart and thinks along the same lines as I do. I admire how she deals with her daughter and take inspiration from her. Her daughter is 3 months older than L, and he loves playing with her.
I'm sure it's not always easy watching two close in age together, but on the other hand, they entertain each other and she seems to always be able to keep them happy. Basically, if they start getting upset, she straps one of them on her back and puts one in the stroller / little push car, and head out to a park.
She ECs L and lets him wear little waterproof training pants instead of diapers.
So, I guess my advice on how to find someone is to try to meet other parents that think along the same lines as you do and see if any of the moms or dads that stay at home with their kids would be interested in watching another kid for a few days a week.
In my case, Z, my friend's daughter, is super mellow, so that has helped quite a bit.

[curiouscanadian]

I'd love to find a friend who could babysit for us! Unfortunately all of the crunchy-moms groups I've found in the area meet during working hours.

Interesting you ressurected this thread actually, I was thinking about the posts the last couple days and trying to prioritize my caretaking desires (since as pp pointed out I'll never get everything I want). So a spin-off question from the original - what are you willing to compromize on and what are absolute necessities for you?

[DogwoodFairy]

Originally Posted by MamaChicken

I found mine on MDC.

Originally Posted by curiouscanadian

Oooh! That'd be great, but where did you post something like that?? I'm not sure where a thread like that would be appropriate. Except maybe here, lol! HINT HINT

I thought I'd address this first: check out the Welcome to MDC forum, and within it is "Finding Your Tribe". Within that are Tribal Areas - geographical locations. From there, you can post suggestion for your town/area/state, etc. Thats what I did last June when I needed childcare. I didnt end up finding anyone directly through MDC, but had conversations with several Mamas who had interviewed care providers in my area, what their opinions were, what their experiences were, etc. The tribal area has always been a huge resource for me.

How I ended up finding a great care provider was essentially taking the post I had written on MDC, outlining all my wants and needs in a care provider, copying the post, and posting an ad on Craigslist. I specified what I wanted, what was important to me, what I was willing to be flex on. I also made it clear that I do not vaccinate, my son still nurses at 2 yo, and I wanted to find someone who was comfortable with providing a nurturing environment for a little boy who has been through a series of transitions (daycare being only one of those transitions!).

I found a GREAT provider who responded to my ad, though she couldnt take him until this Sept when he turned 2. So we "made do" throughout the summer, and the minute he turned 2, I enrolled him. BTW, I had several very awesome AP/SAHM Mamas respond, but none of them managed to fit "just right". But craigslist was a HUGE help in narrowing my search. I found it much easier to put out there what I wanted, and let them come to me!

And for the most recent question in the last post, the things I was willing to compromise on were the group size (I wanted a pretty small group, but found that ds really did much better socially than I originally thought and he does just fine with 5-8 other kids), food to a certain degree, and TV/Videos (also to a certain degree)...age appropriate, of course, and for a limited amount of time (like 30 mins/day, max).

HTH. I searched for MONTHS and conducted probably 20 in-home/center interviews before I thought of posting my own ad.

[RockStarMom]

I asked everyone I knew, and got a recommendation for a stay at home mom who ended up being our nanny. She wasn't technically AP, but she was incredibly kind, loving, and open to babywearing and cloth diapering and such.
Also, I'm now a nanny myself and I work for a few AP families that I found on Craigslist.

[sacredjourney]

I looked at ads in Craigslist, under vegetarian because they tended to have no tv and lots of outdoor activities.