Leland Hunter Camp
Born 09/07/09 6:28am
9lbs 2oz. 21" tall
VBAC turned C-section
Sorry this got so long!
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Sunday (09/06/09):
I had been feeling pretty desperate to get this baby to come out for about a week. I knew that as a VBAC candidate the longer the baby waited to come out, the likely hood of interventions increased as the days passed and I inched closer to 42 weeks. My OB is very laid back and does not have any issues with “letting” her patients go to 42 weeks as long as everything is going well, but there was a good chance that if I were to go into labor, I would end up with a different doctor who had different ideas.
A friend of mine suggested trying a recipe that has been known to put pregnant women into labor a few days before my due date. She said she thought that is was the massive amounts of fresh basil that did the trick, so Saturday evening I made basil chicken and a marinara sauce for spaghetti with TONS of basil in it. We ate dinner around 9pm and shortly after I started feeling what I thought were braxton hicks contractions. For the past few weeks, they had been picking up in frequency and intensity, but I thought nothing of it and went on with my night.
Around midnight, I noticed that these contractions were coming quite predictably around every 8-10 minutes and they felt different. Not so much painful, just really noticeable. We decided to go to bed around 2:30 and I took a Tylenol PM in hopes of getting some sleep. As I laid in bed trying to fall asleep, I noticed that the contractions were starting to come closer together, but I wasn't sure of how close they actually were. I came downstairs and laid on the couch and started timing them and sure enough they were coming every 6-7 minutes and were lasting about 60-90 seconds. At this point, I can honestly say they started to hurt a bit, but it was nothing that wasn't tolerable. I knew this was probably labor so I sent a text message to my sister-in-law letting her know that I was about 99% sure I was in labor and I would let her know if she needed to come pick Astrid up sooner rather than later.
Around 4:15am I decided that this really was it without any doubts and started to panic because we hadn't packed anything for the hospital. I called my mother-in-law to let her know that we would probably be heading to the hospital in the next couple of hours (she was my other support person). I woke Daniel up and we proceeded to run around the house getting things into bags and suitcases. We called Garnet and let her know that she should probably head this way soon since the contractions seemed to be coming even more frequently.
During this time the contractions started coming every 3-5 minutes and I knew it would be best if we left soon since we had a 45 minute drive ahead of us. After Garnet picked Astrid up, we called Daniel's parents and let them know we were leaving. On the way out of town, we stopped by 7-11 and bought a few snacks, gatorade, and water. I was getting really aggravated with every little thing. I just wanted to get the drive over with and get to Richmond as soon as possible.
The trip into Richmond was the longest 45 minutes of my life. I hated being confined to something and knew that I could not relax and tensed up as the contractions started and passed. We arrived at the hospital around 6:00am and quickly grabbed our stuff out of the car. Once we made our way up to Labor & Delivery, I was put in triage to be monitored and checked for dilation to see if we were going to stay.
At first check I was 4cm, 80% effaced, and the baby was at -2. At my last appointment (09/02/09) I was 3cm, 75% effaced, and -1. They wanted us to walk the halls for a little while to see if I was actually in active labor before they could admit me to a room. Daniel and his dad went downstairs to the cafeteria in search of food while I walked the halls with my mother-in-law. She helped me time the contractions and kept me company as we walked for what seemed like forever.
After an hour or so I decided to go back to the triage room since I was tired and wanted to find out if I was staying or not. The nurse monitored the baby and contractions for about fifteen minutes and then a resident OB came in to talk to us about our birth plan. We talked about everything and they agreed that nothing was too out of the ordinary and there wasn't any foreseeable reason to not stick to our plans. Shortly after she left, the attending doctor came in and chatted with us for a while. He introduced himself and basically warned us of the risks that could be associated with VBAC (I already knew the majority of it) and promised to help us achieve our goal of a natural birth. After he left we resumed walking for about an hour until it was time to be monitored again. They decided to check me for progress and the resident OB checked again and said I was a “stretchy” 4.5cm, 100% effaced, and still -2. They declared me in active labor and admitted us to a room.
Once we moved all of our stuff into the room, we talked with the nurse and resident OB again. They wanted me to compromise and get a hep-lock “just in case” I should need it. The reassured me that it would not be hooked to anything, as I had state in my birth plan that I would prefer to stay hydrated by drinking water and gatorade. I reluctantly agreed and it was inserted. Shortly after I wanted to start walking again since the contractions were really uncomfortable when I was lying down or sitting on the bed. They hooked me up to the portable monitors so I wouldn't have to stop walking and be monitored in the room for fifteen minutes every hour. I didn't want quite as much monitoring, but I was just happy that I didn't have to be confined to a bed while I was trying to deal with the contractions.
Around 2:30pm I was so exhausted that I could barely keep my eyes open (I hadn't slept in over 24 hours) so I laid down hoping to get some rest between contractions. Somehow I managed to fall into a deep sleep for about forty-five minutes, during this time the contractions slowed down to about 10 minutes apart and the pain had eased up enough that I slept through them. I woke up when the nurse came in to check on us.
The attending doctor came in around 3:30pm to check for anymore cervical changes and I was still at 4.5cm. I was really starting to get aggravated at this point since I had been having regular contractions for sixteen hours with barely any progress being made. He told me to keep walking and not to give up hope just yet. The three of us resumed walking the halls again for a while. After about an hour or so I decided to stop walking for a little while and rest so I could save some energy for when things kicked into “high gear.”
I was checked again for progress around 6:00pm and was told that I was still stuck at 4.5cm and the baby had slipped back up to -3 station. I then went against everything I believe in and asked for my water to be broken. I was frustrated and angry that my body wasn't doing anything on its own. The OB talked me out of it , he it would definitely put me on a clock and he thought we should wait to see if anything would change on its own. The baby was tolerating the contractions wonderfully so he also said I could get into the labor tub for a while if I wanted to. He warned me that it was a intervention and that one intervention only leads to another.
Once I got into the tub, I felt so much relief from the pain almost instantly. The warm water felt so nice and I was able to completely relax between contractions. Daniel and I laughed and joked about I was more than likely right about Leland coming out on Labor day. The nurses monitored his heart rate a few times over the hour with a doppler so I could stay in the water. During this time the contractions were coming every four minutes and lasting about a minute or so. I got out of the water after about an hour and returned to our room. I labored standing up for the most part, it was the only way I could tolerate the contractions.
Around 9:00pm the attending OB came in to check me again. Once again I was still at 4.5cm and the baby was still at -3. The only thing I could say was “seriously?” He could tell that I was really upset about the lack of progress despite being in labor for nearly 24 hours at this point. He asked me if I wanted him to rupture my water and I told him to go for it. I was exhausted and still very frustrated with the lack of progress. After it was done, we had a serious conversation about the possibility of a c-section. He basically said that If I didn't make any more progress over the next six hours, we were going to go the surgical route to get this baby out. After he told me that, I really felt like everything I was doing was for nothing and I felt like crying out of frustration, but I didn't want to let everything get to me. I wanted to focus on making progress and not let the possibility of another c-section get to me.
Within thirty minutes of my waters being ruptured, the contractions became excruciatingly painful. I could no longer just stand still and deal with them. I also had to be continuously monitored to make sure the baby was tolerating the contractions okay. After a while I discovered that sitting on the toilet clutching onto the linens container was about the only way I could tolerate the contractions. The nurse was getting a little annoyed with me since the monitors kept slipping off, but I didn't want to leave the bathroom. Around this time I started feeling contractions in my back and I knew the baby had turned to posterior during this time. I started to panic and left the bathroom.
I decided to continue to stand up during contractions, only this time we moved the recliner chair over to me so I could hold onto it for support when a contraction would hit. The contractions were coming every 2-3 minutes and last about 90 seconds. During this time Daniel would put counter pressure on my back and push down as I would push my back up toward him. This worked out for about forty-five minutes and then I looked up at him and said “I just can't do this anymore.” He gently reminded me that I told him to tell me that if I spoke of getting an epidural to tell me that I really don't. He tried talking me out of one for a few minutes when I finally snapped and told him that I couldn't do this anymore without one. The pain was taking a terrible toll on my body and If I wanted to push the baby out I needed pain relief.
Around 11:00pm we notified our nurse that I wanted an epidural and she notified the anesthesiologist of our request. She had to run a bag of fluid through my hep-lock first so my blood pressure would not bottom out. At around11:30pm and after 23.5 hours of natural labor, the epidural was inserted. I was absolutely terrified of having it inserted, but I managed to stay completely still despite the pain of the needle and catheter being inserted. Within ten minutes I felt no pain anymore and it was the greatest feeling ever. The pain I had felt for the prior two hours, was the most god awful gut wrenching pain I have ever felt in my life. After the pain medication kicked in, I had no regrets about seeking pain relief.
Sometime around 12:30am I requested another cervical exam and much to my surprise I was STILL at 4.5 cm, but the baby had moved back down to the -2 station. It was also confirmed by the doctor that the baby had turned posterior which presented more problems. We talked again about having a c-section if I didn't start making some progress with dilation. He said he would be back in an hour to check again. After he left I felt very discouraged and started processing everything and coming to terms with the idea of not getting my VBAC after all.
Dr. B came back around 1:30am and checked and I had finally made progress! I was now a good 6cm. He then told us that at this point I should be dilating at least 1cm per hour. He talked about how second labors are generally faster, but this was not the case for me. We talked briefly about having internal monitors placed to see if my contractions were truly effective despite the intensity of them. I declined and said I would rather wait until the next check in an hour from then to make that decision.
2:30am came around and when the OB checked me, I was 9.5cm dilated, but the baby was still posterior and high up. He then had me lay on my right side to encourage him to turn. He said he would be back in an hour to check me again, but to let him know if I started feeling the urge to push. During this time while laying on my side, the medication in the epidural had completely numbed the right side of my body and I was feeling a lot of pain on the left. I told the nurse I was going to lay on my back for a few minutes to even out the medication again.
Once I laid down on my back, I finally started feeling the urge to push. I told the nurse and she had me describe to her what I was feeling. She agreed that I was probably complete and had the doctor check me again. He confirmed what I already knew and said I could start pushing with the contractions. They put the end of the bed up so I could use it to support my body and I started to push in an upright-squatting position. I pushed for about fifteen minutes like that and then decided to lay back down on my right side to encourage the baby to turn some more. I then tried pushing on my side and it just felt totally ineffective.
Around 5:00am the doctor came back in and started talking about the risks of shoulder dystocia since he thought that the baby felt rather large. I think he sensed that I was starting to get really aggravated with him, but I know he was just informing me of possible complications. It seemed like every time I would cross a hurdle, another one would present itself and I just wanted to get this baby out and be done with labor. Before he left he told me that he would prefer me deliver in an OR in case the baby did get stuck and they weren't able to get him out any other way. He told us that he had to go and deliver another baby and he would be back once he was done.
During that hour and fifteen minutes we I pushed on my back with my knees up by my chin. I pushed with everything in me to avoid having another c-section. I put every ounce of energy and effort into pushing, but it was still ineffective. The doctor came back in around 6:00am to check and see if the baby had moved down turned anymore. He told us that the baby was still at -2 and was still “sunny side up”. It was then that I decided that the best thing for me was to go ahead and have the c-section. I told the doctor that if he honestly thought this was a losing battle, that I would go ahead and consent to the section. He said that at this point, it probably would be best and we all agreed that I would be having another surgical birth. I was completely drained of all energy and I just couldn't push anymore. I felt like I was going to pass out after every time I would push. I hadn't slept hardly at all since I woke up Saturday around noon.
Shortly after he left the room to get everyone ready for surgery, the anesthesiologist came in to put new medication into the epidural completely numb the lower half of my body. She also gave me a little plastic cup with the most horrible tasting liquid in it to drink. She said it would balance the PH in my stomach to minimize the risk of vomiting. I tried talking her out of making me drink it, but I ended up drinking the stuff anyhow.
I was then wheeled back to the OR around 6:10am and I felt like I was going to have a panic attack during the trip from my room to the OR. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me for a second time. Lightning isn't supposed to strike twice, or so I thought. I refused to let myself show too much emotion. I knew that I had to keep myself together so I wouldn't lose it in front of everyone, Daniel included. Once I was in there I closed my eyes and focused on breathing so I wouldn't get sick.
Once the team had me prepped for surgery, they called Daniel back so he could be with me when the baby was born. It seemed like the minutes were dragging by and then I heard my baby cry for the first time. He was born at 6:28am on Labor Day (just as I had predicted!). It was so overwhelming and awesome to finally hear him cry and know that he was out, healthy, and safe. Once they cut the cord, the held him over the drape so I could see him. My first thought was “he looks just like Astrid!” The two OBs told Daniel that he could join the nurses and the NICU team to start taking photos of our son. It was announced a few minutes later that he weighed 9lbs 2.6oz and he was 21” tall and was 100% healthy. Daniel brought him around to me so I could see him and our nurse took a few photos of us with my camera.
Once the surgery was over and I was stitched back up, they handed Leland to me and we went back into our labor room for recovery. Leland latched on and started nursing almost immediately after. I was so excited that at least that something was going right. Daniel's parents stayed for a few minutes to meet their first grandson and then they left to go home and get some sleep (they had been there with us since we first got to the hospital). I made a few phone calls and sent out a picture message to those I didn't feel up to calling right away.
We stayed in recovery for a few hours before we were taken upstairs to a regular room. By 9:00pm that evening I was beyond starving and tired of clear liquids and crackers, so I made Daniel go by me something from the cafeteria. I ate really slowly so I wouldn't make myself sick. I didn't sleep much that night, I dozed off and on throughout the night.
The next day I requested to have the epidural and catheter removed so I could start oral pain medications and take a shower. Everything was eventually removed and I made myself get up and move around. I knew that the more I pushed myself, the faster my recovery would be. It was hell the first few hours, but they were able to keep the pain manageable for the most part.
During our two day stay in the hospital, we were hounded by the pediatricians about declining the eye ointment, circumcision, Vitamin K injection, and the Hepatitis B vaccine for Leland. We must have declined the Vitamin K and Hep B two dozen times before I finally snapped on one of the doctors in there. I told her that we had already politely declined everything more than enough and that we weren't going to change our minds. After that, they finally left us alone until about five hours before our discharge on Wednesday afternoon. They then started telling us that Leland was jaundiced and made it sound worse than it actually was. We agreed to let them test his levels and they released him since we had an appointment for him the next morning with his pediatrician. We left the hospital around 2:00pm to go home. We stopped by Babies R Us to pick up a few things we knew we needed. We finally got home around 5:00 and Astrid returned home from her grandparents house around 8:00. She was thrilled to see us and her “bebe brudder” again. We spent the rest of the evening settling in as a family of four and enjoying being together again after almost four days away from her.
Now at two weeks old, Leland is doing great and I am healing nicely. Breast feeding is going well again (thank goodness!). I thought we had a case of thrush, but it turns out that I was wrong. The pain is completely gone on the right side and the left side hurt a lot less today than it has in a while. My milk supply has evened itself out and I can tell Leland is growing and thriving. I am so happy to say that my baby has never had one drop of formula or a bottle. I attribute our success with breast feeding for him not leaving our side for even a second while we were in the hospital, even at night when all the other babies would be in the nursery sleeping.
Looking back, I know that making the decision to have a repeat c-section was the right choice for me. I'm still upset about losing my VBAC, but it was just not meant to be. I wish things would have gone better, but I am very thankful to have experienced natural labor for nearly 24 hours and I'm very proud of myself for lasting that long before requesting pain medication. I'm also very thankful that the attending doctor allowed my body to labor naturally without pushing pitocin and using AROM (breaking my water) as a last resort. The fact that I was “stuck” at 4.5cm for 25-ish hours and I was allowed to make decisions for myself helped me handle everything better this time. I think if the decision to have a c-section would have been made by someone else (the doctor), it would have been worse for me mentally. I've already caught and stopped myself from over analyzing everything and asking myself “what if I would have done _____ instead?” I can't let my mind wander into a dark place like that. My main priority right now is to stay strong and healthy for my two beautiful children.
*My doctor was not present for the labor or delivery. She was on vacation (as I also predicted would happen)*
Here's the photo version of the story, but not as detailed:
http://yoursoulkitchen.livejournal.com/177088.html
Born 09/07/09 6:28am
9lbs 2oz. 21" tall
VBAC turned C-section
Sorry this got so long!
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Sunday (09/06/09):
I had been feeling pretty desperate to get this baby to come out for about a week. I knew that as a VBAC candidate the longer the baby waited to come out, the likely hood of interventions increased as the days passed and I inched closer to 42 weeks. My OB is very laid back and does not have any issues with “letting” her patients go to 42 weeks as long as everything is going well, but there was a good chance that if I were to go into labor, I would end up with a different doctor who had different ideas.
A friend of mine suggested trying a recipe that has been known to put pregnant women into labor a few days before my due date. She said she thought that is was the massive amounts of fresh basil that did the trick, so Saturday evening I made basil chicken and a marinara sauce for spaghetti with TONS of basil in it. We ate dinner around 9pm and shortly after I started feeling what I thought were braxton hicks contractions. For the past few weeks, they had been picking up in frequency and intensity, but I thought nothing of it and went on with my night.
Around midnight, I noticed that these contractions were coming quite predictably around every 8-10 minutes and they felt different. Not so much painful, just really noticeable. We decided to go to bed around 2:30 and I took a Tylenol PM in hopes of getting some sleep. As I laid in bed trying to fall asleep, I noticed that the contractions were starting to come closer together, but I wasn't sure of how close they actually were. I came downstairs and laid on the couch and started timing them and sure enough they were coming every 6-7 minutes and were lasting about 60-90 seconds. At this point, I can honestly say they started to hurt a bit, but it was nothing that wasn't tolerable. I knew this was probably labor so I sent a text message to my sister-in-law letting her know that I was about 99% sure I was in labor and I would let her know if she needed to come pick Astrid up sooner rather than later.
Around 4:15am I decided that this really was it without any doubts and started to panic because we hadn't packed anything for the hospital. I called my mother-in-law to let her know that we would probably be heading to the hospital in the next couple of hours (she was my other support person). I woke Daniel up and we proceeded to run around the house getting things into bags and suitcases. We called Garnet and let her know that she should probably head this way soon since the contractions seemed to be coming even more frequently.
During this time the contractions started coming every 3-5 minutes and I knew it would be best if we left soon since we had a 45 minute drive ahead of us. After Garnet picked Astrid up, we called Daniel's parents and let them know we were leaving. On the way out of town, we stopped by 7-11 and bought a few snacks, gatorade, and water. I was getting really aggravated with every little thing. I just wanted to get the drive over with and get to Richmond as soon as possible.
The trip into Richmond was the longest 45 minutes of my life. I hated being confined to something and knew that I could not relax and tensed up as the contractions started and passed. We arrived at the hospital around 6:00am and quickly grabbed our stuff out of the car. Once we made our way up to Labor & Delivery, I was put in triage to be monitored and checked for dilation to see if we were going to stay.
At first check I was 4cm, 80% effaced, and the baby was at -2. At my last appointment (09/02/09) I was 3cm, 75% effaced, and -1. They wanted us to walk the halls for a little while to see if I was actually in active labor before they could admit me to a room. Daniel and his dad went downstairs to the cafeteria in search of food while I walked the halls with my mother-in-law. She helped me time the contractions and kept me company as we walked for what seemed like forever.
After an hour or so I decided to go back to the triage room since I was tired and wanted to find out if I was staying or not. The nurse monitored the baby and contractions for about fifteen minutes and then a resident OB came in to talk to us about our birth plan. We talked about everything and they agreed that nothing was too out of the ordinary and there wasn't any foreseeable reason to not stick to our plans. Shortly after she left, the attending doctor came in and chatted with us for a while. He introduced himself and basically warned us of the risks that could be associated with VBAC (I already knew the majority of it) and promised to help us achieve our goal of a natural birth. After he left we resumed walking for about an hour until it was time to be monitored again. They decided to check me for progress and the resident OB checked again and said I was a “stretchy” 4.5cm, 100% effaced, and still -2. They declared me in active labor and admitted us to a room.
Once we moved all of our stuff into the room, we talked with the nurse and resident OB again. They wanted me to compromise and get a hep-lock “just in case” I should need it. The reassured me that it would not be hooked to anything, as I had state in my birth plan that I would prefer to stay hydrated by drinking water and gatorade. I reluctantly agreed and it was inserted. Shortly after I wanted to start walking again since the contractions were really uncomfortable when I was lying down or sitting on the bed. They hooked me up to the portable monitors so I wouldn't have to stop walking and be monitored in the room for fifteen minutes every hour. I didn't want quite as much monitoring, but I was just happy that I didn't have to be confined to a bed while I was trying to deal with the contractions.
Around 2:30pm I was so exhausted that I could barely keep my eyes open (I hadn't slept in over 24 hours) so I laid down hoping to get some rest between contractions. Somehow I managed to fall into a deep sleep for about forty-five minutes, during this time the contractions slowed down to about 10 minutes apart and the pain had eased up enough that I slept through them. I woke up when the nurse came in to check on us.
The attending doctor came in around 3:30pm to check for anymore cervical changes and I was still at 4.5cm. I was really starting to get aggravated at this point since I had been having regular contractions for sixteen hours with barely any progress being made. He told me to keep walking and not to give up hope just yet. The three of us resumed walking the halls again for a while. After about an hour or so I decided to stop walking for a little while and rest so I could save some energy for when things kicked into “high gear.”
I was checked again for progress around 6:00pm and was told that I was still stuck at 4.5cm and the baby had slipped back up to -3 station. I then went against everything I believe in and asked for my water to be broken. I was frustrated and angry that my body wasn't doing anything on its own. The OB talked me out of it , he it would definitely put me on a clock and he thought we should wait to see if anything would change on its own. The baby was tolerating the contractions wonderfully so he also said I could get into the labor tub for a while if I wanted to. He warned me that it was a intervention and that one intervention only leads to another.
Once I got into the tub, I felt so much relief from the pain almost instantly. The warm water felt so nice and I was able to completely relax between contractions. Daniel and I laughed and joked about I was more than likely right about Leland coming out on Labor day. The nurses monitored his heart rate a few times over the hour with a doppler so I could stay in the water. During this time the contractions were coming every four minutes and lasting about a minute or so. I got out of the water after about an hour and returned to our room. I labored standing up for the most part, it was the only way I could tolerate the contractions.
Around 9:00pm the attending OB came in to check me again. Once again I was still at 4.5cm and the baby was still at -3. The only thing I could say was “seriously?” He could tell that I was really upset about the lack of progress despite being in labor for nearly 24 hours at this point. He asked me if I wanted him to rupture my water and I told him to go for it. I was exhausted and still very frustrated with the lack of progress. After it was done, we had a serious conversation about the possibility of a c-section. He basically said that If I didn't make any more progress over the next six hours, we were going to go the surgical route to get this baby out. After he told me that, I really felt like everything I was doing was for nothing and I felt like crying out of frustration, but I didn't want to let everything get to me. I wanted to focus on making progress and not let the possibility of another c-section get to me.
Within thirty minutes of my waters being ruptured, the contractions became excruciatingly painful. I could no longer just stand still and deal with them. I also had to be continuously monitored to make sure the baby was tolerating the contractions okay. After a while I discovered that sitting on the toilet clutching onto the linens container was about the only way I could tolerate the contractions. The nurse was getting a little annoyed with me since the monitors kept slipping off, but I didn't want to leave the bathroom. Around this time I started feeling contractions in my back and I knew the baby had turned to posterior during this time. I started to panic and left the bathroom.
I decided to continue to stand up during contractions, only this time we moved the recliner chair over to me so I could hold onto it for support when a contraction would hit. The contractions were coming every 2-3 minutes and last about 90 seconds. During this time Daniel would put counter pressure on my back and push down as I would push my back up toward him. This worked out for about forty-five minutes and then I looked up at him and said “I just can't do this anymore.” He gently reminded me that I told him to tell me that if I spoke of getting an epidural to tell me that I really don't. He tried talking me out of one for a few minutes when I finally snapped and told him that I couldn't do this anymore without one. The pain was taking a terrible toll on my body and If I wanted to push the baby out I needed pain relief.
Around 11:00pm we notified our nurse that I wanted an epidural and she notified the anesthesiologist of our request. She had to run a bag of fluid through my hep-lock first so my blood pressure would not bottom out. At around11:30pm and after 23.5 hours of natural labor, the epidural was inserted. I was absolutely terrified of having it inserted, but I managed to stay completely still despite the pain of the needle and catheter being inserted. Within ten minutes I felt no pain anymore and it was the greatest feeling ever. The pain I had felt for the prior two hours, was the most god awful gut wrenching pain I have ever felt in my life. After the pain medication kicked in, I had no regrets about seeking pain relief.
Sometime around 12:30am I requested another cervical exam and much to my surprise I was STILL at 4.5 cm, but the baby had moved back down to the -2 station. It was also confirmed by the doctor that the baby had turned posterior which presented more problems. We talked again about having a c-section if I didn't start making some progress with dilation. He said he would be back in an hour to check again. After he left I felt very discouraged and started processing everything and coming to terms with the idea of not getting my VBAC after all.
Dr. B came back around 1:30am and checked and I had finally made progress! I was now a good 6cm. He then told us that at this point I should be dilating at least 1cm per hour. He talked about how second labors are generally faster, but this was not the case for me. We talked briefly about having internal monitors placed to see if my contractions were truly effective despite the intensity of them. I declined and said I would rather wait until the next check in an hour from then to make that decision.
2:30am came around and when the OB checked me, I was 9.5cm dilated, but the baby was still posterior and high up. He then had me lay on my right side to encourage him to turn. He said he would be back in an hour to check me again, but to let him know if I started feeling the urge to push. During this time while laying on my side, the medication in the epidural had completely numbed the right side of my body and I was feeling a lot of pain on the left. I told the nurse I was going to lay on my back for a few minutes to even out the medication again.
Once I laid down on my back, I finally started feeling the urge to push. I told the nurse and she had me describe to her what I was feeling. She agreed that I was probably complete and had the doctor check me again. He confirmed what I already knew and said I could start pushing with the contractions. They put the end of the bed up so I could use it to support my body and I started to push in an upright-squatting position. I pushed for about fifteen minutes like that and then decided to lay back down on my right side to encourage the baby to turn some more. I then tried pushing on my side and it just felt totally ineffective.
Around 5:00am the doctor came back in and started talking about the risks of shoulder dystocia since he thought that the baby felt rather large. I think he sensed that I was starting to get really aggravated with him, but I know he was just informing me of possible complications. It seemed like every time I would cross a hurdle, another one would present itself and I just wanted to get this baby out and be done with labor. Before he left he told me that he would prefer me deliver in an OR in case the baby did get stuck and they weren't able to get him out any other way. He told us that he had to go and deliver another baby and he would be back once he was done.
During that hour and fifteen minutes we I pushed on my back with my knees up by my chin. I pushed with everything in me to avoid having another c-section. I put every ounce of energy and effort into pushing, but it was still ineffective. The doctor came back in around 6:00am to check and see if the baby had moved down turned anymore. He told us that the baby was still at -2 and was still “sunny side up”. It was then that I decided that the best thing for me was to go ahead and have the c-section. I told the doctor that if he honestly thought this was a losing battle, that I would go ahead and consent to the section. He said that at this point, it probably would be best and we all agreed that I would be having another surgical birth. I was completely drained of all energy and I just couldn't push anymore. I felt like I was going to pass out after every time I would push. I hadn't slept hardly at all since I woke up Saturday around noon.
Shortly after he left the room to get everyone ready for surgery, the anesthesiologist came in to put new medication into the epidural completely numb the lower half of my body. She also gave me a little plastic cup with the most horrible tasting liquid in it to drink. She said it would balance the PH in my stomach to minimize the risk of vomiting. I tried talking her out of making me drink it, but I ended up drinking the stuff anyhow.
I was then wheeled back to the OR around 6:10am and I felt like I was going to have a panic attack during the trip from my room to the OR. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me for a second time. Lightning isn't supposed to strike twice, or so I thought. I refused to let myself show too much emotion. I knew that I had to keep myself together so I wouldn't lose it in front of everyone, Daniel included. Once I was in there I closed my eyes and focused on breathing so I wouldn't get sick.
Once the team had me prepped for surgery, they called Daniel back so he could be with me when the baby was born. It seemed like the minutes were dragging by and then I heard my baby cry for the first time. He was born at 6:28am on Labor Day (just as I had predicted!). It was so overwhelming and awesome to finally hear him cry and know that he was out, healthy, and safe. Once they cut the cord, the held him over the drape so I could see him. My first thought was “he looks just like Astrid!” The two OBs told Daniel that he could join the nurses and the NICU team to start taking photos of our son. It was announced a few minutes later that he weighed 9lbs 2.6oz and he was 21” tall and was 100% healthy. Daniel brought him around to me so I could see him and our nurse took a few photos of us with my camera.
Once the surgery was over and I was stitched back up, they handed Leland to me and we went back into our labor room for recovery. Leland latched on and started nursing almost immediately after. I was so excited that at least that something was going right. Daniel's parents stayed for a few minutes to meet their first grandson and then they left to go home and get some sleep (they had been there with us since we first got to the hospital). I made a few phone calls and sent out a picture message to those I didn't feel up to calling right away.
We stayed in recovery for a few hours before we were taken upstairs to a regular room. By 9:00pm that evening I was beyond starving and tired of clear liquids and crackers, so I made Daniel go by me something from the cafeteria. I ate really slowly so I wouldn't make myself sick. I didn't sleep much that night, I dozed off and on throughout the night.
The next day I requested to have the epidural and catheter removed so I could start oral pain medications and take a shower. Everything was eventually removed and I made myself get up and move around. I knew that the more I pushed myself, the faster my recovery would be. It was hell the first few hours, but they were able to keep the pain manageable for the most part.
During our two day stay in the hospital, we were hounded by the pediatricians about declining the eye ointment, circumcision, Vitamin K injection, and the Hepatitis B vaccine for Leland. We must have declined the Vitamin K and Hep B two dozen times before I finally snapped on one of the doctors in there. I told her that we had already politely declined everything more than enough and that we weren't going to change our minds. After that, they finally left us alone until about five hours before our discharge on Wednesday afternoon. They then started telling us that Leland was jaundiced and made it sound worse than it actually was. We agreed to let them test his levels and they released him since we had an appointment for him the next morning with his pediatrician. We left the hospital around 2:00pm to go home. We stopped by Babies R Us to pick up a few things we knew we needed. We finally got home around 5:00 and Astrid returned home from her grandparents house around 8:00. She was thrilled to see us and her “bebe brudder” again. We spent the rest of the evening settling in as a family of four and enjoying being together again after almost four days away from her.
Now at two weeks old, Leland is doing great and I am healing nicely. Breast feeding is going well again (thank goodness!). I thought we had a case of thrush, but it turns out that I was wrong. The pain is completely gone on the right side and the left side hurt a lot less today than it has in a while. My milk supply has evened itself out and I can tell Leland is growing and thriving. I am so happy to say that my baby has never had one drop of formula or a bottle. I attribute our success with breast feeding for him not leaving our side for even a second while we were in the hospital, even at night when all the other babies would be in the nursery sleeping.
Looking back, I know that making the decision to have a repeat c-section was the right choice for me. I'm still upset about losing my VBAC, but it was just not meant to be. I wish things would have gone better, but I am very thankful to have experienced natural labor for nearly 24 hours and I'm very proud of myself for lasting that long before requesting pain medication. I'm also very thankful that the attending doctor allowed my body to labor naturally without pushing pitocin and using AROM (breaking my water) as a last resort. The fact that I was “stuck” at 4.5cm for 25-ish hours and I was allowed to make decisions for myself helped me handle everything better this time. I think if the decision to have a c-section would have been made by someone else (the doctor), it would have been worse for me mentally. I've already caught and stopped myself from over analyzing everything and asking myself “what if I would have done _____ instead?” I can't let my mind wander into a dark place like that. My main priority right now is to stay strong and healthy for my two beautiful children.
*My doctor was not present for the labor or delivery. She was on vacation (as I also predicted would happen)*
Here's the photo version of the story, but not as detailed:
http://yoursoulkitchen.livejournal.com/177088.html
