Co-sleeping siblings - when is it safe?

[SallyN]

(Not sure if this is the correct forum.)

I know it's not safe for older siblings (of any age) to sleep with an infant sibling. My question though, is when IS it safe? Age? Developmental stage?

(My DD1 has always needed company, at least when falling asleep, and DD2 is an easy sleeper. I'm looking forward to the day when DD2 can be the one to keep DD1 company.

[ChetMC]

Baby & Sibling

I vaguely recall reading somewhere that the younger child should be at least 12 months old before sleeping alone with a sibling. I've never seen anything about the age of the older child. To be honest though, there doesn't seem to be a lot of information around on the topic of sibling bed-sharing in general.

A lot of it probably depends on your kids and your setup. When DD #2 was born our oldest was 16 months and was still in our bed. DH and I would often get up before them in the morning, and leave them in bed together. I was never worried about it.

Right now our older girls are 4 and 5, and although DS is still with us I think that he would okay sleeping with his sisters. He's 16 months.

[deditus]

I was probably 4 and my brother 2 when we moved from the family bed to our own bed.

[DahliaRW]

I put my boys in a bed together when the younger was about 18 months. At that point it just seemed like he was big enough that it would be safe. I plan to switch dd to cosleeping with youngest ds around the same age if she seems ready (and at that point move ds1 to his own bed).

[Equuskia]

I sleep with my baby (14 mo now) on one side, and during the night, my older dd sneaks into bed behind me so that I'm sandwiched. In the morning I get up and leave them both on the bed sleeping. DD2's huge and dd1's a twig, so I doubt anyone's going to get hurt in the hour (at most) they sleep together. i do long for the day though where they can sleep together.

[DevaMajka]

Moving to FBNP

[fruitfulmomma]

We've always just started when the child starts asking to sleep with the older children, maybe somewhere around 2 1/2.

[SallyN]

Originally Posted by DevaMajka

Moving to FBNP

Thanks!

[gillibean]

We moved DD2 into a bed with her 9 year old sister when she was around 20 months. It was wonderful.

[sunnmama]

My 8 yo and 2 yo sleep together. I would consider age 2 very conservatively safe.

[childsplay]

My twins were 7mos. and my DS was just over 2 when they slept together. It went on for a few months, then the two year old moved back into his own space.
I never really thought about the safety aspect of it, other than of course a bedrail. The twins were used to sleeping together anyway and DS slept like a rock.
It worked well during the time we needed them to share a sleepspace, they always ended up in kind of a pile, and slept soundly.

[Tizzy]

DS1 (almost 3yrs) recently started to ask to sleep with DS2 (16mo). It seems to be quite safe, they share the crib together. Some nights they sleep at opposite ends, other nights they sleep at the same end.
I've been looking forward to this because I think it will give them a closer bond, AND it will keep them warmer in the winter

Until recently DS2 was a fidgety sleeper so it wouldn't have worked, but they have been sharing a room for almost a year so that helped with the transition.

[alacrity]

The 2 year old and the three year old take turns sleeping in the queen bed I have with my 11 month old. My daughter is HUGE and the other kids are both small for their ages. I pop in a lot and sometimes I am in there the whole time. They are never close to each other though because the bed is so big.

Also the mattress is on the floor so no one can roll off and get hurt.

[terrabella]

Originally Posted by SallyN

I know it's not safe for older siblings (of any age) to sleep with an infant sibling. My question though, is when IS it safe? Age? Developmental stage?

When they don't look like *babies* to me anymore. Definitely over two...

Originally Posted by ChetMC

A lot of it probably depends on your kids and your setup. When DD #2 was born our oldest was 16 months and was still in our bed. DH and I would often get up before them in the morning, and leave them in bed together. I was never worried about it.

Us too.

Originally Posted by Tizzy

I've been looking forward to this because I think it will give them a closer bond, AND it will keep them warmer in the winter

My older boys share a queen for extra warmth in the winter.

[Tobeborn]

B and C sleep together.  So I say go for it  :)  It's working well, they are both sleeping better this way.