Striving For A More Simple/Minimalist Life - Page 6

[stayinghome]

subbing- lots of great info here!

[enfpintj]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mama

Thankfully- I have friends who all try to live simply as well. Of course how this looks is different for everyone as we all have different goals and needs, but to just have people that get the fact that we want to live w/ a minimal amt of things is wonderful.

Crunchy mama,

Can you tell me about the area where you live? I would love to live where there are more people interested in simple living. My dh and I were talking about this today. We will move when the housing market improves in our area and have not decided on a place yet. Always looking for someplace we can fit.

thanks.

[janetommey]

Excited to find this thread

Hi everyone, I just joined the mothering.com site (expecting our first baby in February) and I am super excited to find this topic discussed so much here. I love the idea of simplifying and often love the actions of it as well, though sometimes I find it challenging. I can relate to what some others have said - the fear of "What if I need this later?" and the desire to just be frugal with things I know I will likely eventually need/want. But more than that, I just want to feel good in my space and more space in my space feels good. I get so tired of feeling like all of my "cleaning" is just rearranging our stuff.

One challenge I have is that my DW and I have somewhat different takes on this issue. She has changed a lot on this issue over the past few years, but she still will go to the store to buy one thing and come home with 6 (6!) bags of Halloween candy, even though our door does not face the street and it seemed obvious that we would get no tricker or treaters. She also will buy two of something, just to have an extra, for when the one thing is dirty, in the laundry, the dishwasher, etc. How do you all deal with differences within your partnership regarding what "simple living" means?

It's not all her, of course! I just got the book Affluenza from the library and I am loving it. (I got the recommendation off of this thread, someplace, I think.) But reading it, I am looking at this long list of stuff that people find necessary - central air/heat, color tv, cable, washer/dryer, dishwasher - and I find that we have most of it. And I like it! Plus, we have two cars for our two person family, each have cell phones, etc. I know this stuff is not unusual in our society, and some of it is influenced by living in a big city, but I find it difficult to live out these values. It extends into eating more than I need and checking out a whole bunch of books from the library. I guess it's all about starting where you are and making progress from there.

Anyway, just wanted to chime in and say thanks for all of your thoughts on these matters. I have really enjoyed reading your posts, and thanks for the book recommendations!

[MonkeyPrincess]

Originally Posted by Purple Sage

What I'd like to pass down to my children is that ordinary life is very fulfilling. I'm striving to pay more attention to the seasons and the weather, to celebrate nature, to be mindful while doing everyday chores like sweeping the kitchen and folding laundry. I want my children to grow up with a sense of peace and happiness that comes from within - which is so against everything our consumer culture puts out there.

Making things yourself is so much more rewarding than buying things. But then again, I've always hated shopping.

Exactly.

[caiesmommy]

So I've been working hard getting Christmas gifts done!

I just made a whole ton of pumpkin puree w the intention of freezing it then xmas eve making up a whole bunch of loaves w ds for presents.

We've also been lucky M-I-L is asking what the kids NEED instead of WANT for the holidays and they've decided tobuy dd her next size up car seat Practical clutter free gift I LOVE IT!

How is everyone else doing with the holidays approaching?

[mi_amor]

[Malva]

Originally Posted by janetommey

Hi everyone, I just joined the mothering.com site (expecting our first baby in February) and I am super excited to find this topic discussed so much here.

Just jumping in to say :

to MDC.

[caiesmommy]

Today I'm in a purging mood

I cleaned out the tupperwear/pots cupboard and purged quite a bit. Seriously HOW MANY CASSEROLE DISHES DO YOU NEED! BAH! Feels better to have cleared out some crap!
Planning to get to our bedroom/office areas while the kids nap.

To break up the day of cleaning ds and I made xmas cards from this site

http://bethanyactually.com/now-with-...kah-blessings/

using all of our used tissue paper scraps. It's in the process of drying and at some point I'll make them into cards We're sending xmas postcards to people we see often. Using these cards to send to people that we'll be sending pics to. And we'll be using them instead of gift tags...one less thing to buy

[caiesmommy]

What are your plans to simplify something in your life this week?

Purging? Bulk cooking/freezing? Any plans

[Amys1st]

I am currently decluttering by going thru our dressers and weeding out tops that are worn out, not loved by the user, or just need to find another home somewhere else!

One thing I have started doing a few years back- taking items out of my closet and passing on. It can be a formal dress that someone can use- did that on freecycle and the person who claimed it even emailed me her dd wore one to homecoming! I bought a purse that just didnt do it for me, passed it on to a friend who loves it. Bought a pair of boots, didnt quite fit, freecycled and the new girl loves them!

We are passing on our train table and train stuff to a neighbor for her boys for xmas. She is paying me in her jewelery and art she makes. The stuff looks like new and my girls havent really used it in a while. I told the girls it was going to a new home and reminded them they hadnt used them. Also, that Santa was bring new toys and we needed room. They agreed.

I went thru the linen closet and found some sheets passed on to me that need to be passed on, we dont use them!

[Om Girl]

This week I will simplify by eliminating the piles of books and magazines under my bed, purging my closet and hauling bags to goodwill and the consignment shop and settling the girls clothes in their rightful places.

[Shall1105]

Ive never posted before but Ive been a member for awhile. Ive been working on "simplifying" for a few years now. It started when I read "Affluenza" which has been mentioned a few times already.

The upcoming holidays have really been getting to me lately. I cant seem to find anyone IRL who shares me and my husbands views on Christmas. We dont do santa, we dont buy gifts, and we cant get any of our family or friends to understand why. They seem to think we are depriving our children for some reason.

But honestly, we just dont want to make holidays all about presents for our kids. I could write a book on all the reasons I dispise the whole "santa" concept, but I wont subject you all to that! We want our kids to remember doing things as a family. And crappy plastic toys dont make kids happy, doing things together make kids happy.

Weve asked our parents every year for the last 3 years to not buy us gifts. Ive even given suggestions like instead of gifts, take the kids out somewhere, get them tickets to something, buy them a class to learn something...we're even okay with books or craft projects. ANYTHING but toys! They dont even play with the toys they have!

Anyway, every year we just get ignored and flustered and I end up feeling like a broken record trying to explain that no, we're not trying to be difficult, this is just how we feel and what we believe.

Its very frustrating and Im glad to hear there are other people out there struggling with this as well.

[Amys1st]

Welcome! And glad to see your first post was in this forum!

I see where you're coming from! We do Santa but I agree, the holiday is not about the gifts, its about family. I do remember fondly as I grew up xmas morning, so I dont have a problem with the santa thing. I do have a problem though with gifts upon gifts upon gifts. I tried the whole JEsus got 3 gifts and I think as the kids get older, that will work but now, we are giving things the kids really want as opposed to what others think they should have- IE tons of plastic crap.

DH is building a "stage". In our basement there is a bit of an alcove and the kids use that as a theatre. So we are building a simple stage with a step and I am hanging a curtain in the area. They will literally spend hours playing that since they do already. We are also giving ice skates, hooded sweatshirts from their schools, underwear, a game, and books they requested. Also a few music cds which will be played downstairs in their play area.

[mags.bubble]

Glad to see this thread still going. Welcome to the new posters. Holidays do seem to be a very difficult time to simplify. Sometimes it seems like a constant battle to keep the calm.

It took me YEARS to get my family & IL's to understand our feelings about the holidays. We don't celebrate xmas, but channukah can be just as bad. My side doesn't exchange gifts anymore, we just spend meals together. My parents may get my kids something useful (last year it was an analog clock for their room). My MIL feels love by exchanging gifts. So, I have gotten her to stick to 4 gifts each - 1 book, 1 pc of clothing, 1 sm toy, and chocolate. My husband and I then do the same - 1 book, 1 pc of clothing, 1 sm toy, and then the 'big' item that they want. This year we bought tickets to lego discover center as the big item.

My MIL had the 'aha' moment when she was here once and commented on how many toys my kids had compared to when she grew up. I then pointed out that she bought most of them. She has been better ever since!

As I wrote this I realize that my kids might have felt bad that my parent don't by them many gifts compared to my MIL. But instead, they are closer to my parents (ofcourse they love both sets). Perfect example that stuff isn't what makes kids happy!

[*bejeweled*]

Amys1st, your post is brilliant. I'm trying to incorporate this into my life---doing one thing a day or less.

Originally Posted by Amys1st

always working on this. There are several books on this very subject to borrow from the library to read when you feel you are off.

Not just pocessions, but living simply requires several other things in your life.

Like:
knowing when you're full.
Knowing when you are tired.
Saying No to people because you are one of the above or something else.
Not joining something.
knowing your limits and your families limits.
knowing how to slow down, smell the roses or whatever it is in front of you.
working to live not live to work


We as a family do not over schedule, double book, have to leave here quickly because we are late for this and arrive abrubtly and interupt the starting blah blah blah.
We tell friends and family no to things. But we also say yes to things. But we have no issue saying- No we are not coming to your house for insert holiday or whatever in here because we made plans to do insert activity here. We do not send one person in the family here so the other can go there. We tell one of the parties no we are not coming.

I remember last spring my dd2's preschool was having a night time golf thing. It was the same day as dd1's birthday party at our house. I told the chair person, we have my dd1's birthday that day. A friend standing by said, But Amy, your party is during the DAY, this is at NIGHT. And I said you're right and we are not attending. Later I found out from a mutaul friend the lady saying you CAN attend could not understand why I did NOT feel obligated to attend the golf thing since the party was during the day. Because, one night golfing didnt sound like anything we wanted to do. After planning a party all day, I would not have energy to golf at night esp since I dont want to do it!! I didnt share that, but its knowing you dont have to do anything and everything because someone else feels its the thing to do.

[marimara]

I'm glad I found this thread!

I am a SAHM/artist with a 3 year old and a dog. I come from a long line of hoarders/OCD women. I *try* really hard to be minimal but the clutter always creeps in. DH is a very minimal person himself and he would like the rest of our lives to be that way, and I do too, it just doesn't happen.

Just this week I've come to the realization that I buy way too much crap in the wardrobe department. I was poor as a child and we are not poor now but frugal. I like nice things. So if I see something nice and cheap at the thrift store in my size (sometimes in a size up or down as well ) I will buy it. But I still wear the same stuff that I love and usually the stuff I paid full prcie for because I mulled over it for a century, over and over again. I like neutrals, so my realization is that I will NOT buy any other clothes unless they are neutrals and I have a need for it. I think a lot of it was about me going without as a child, so now I felt the need to *have*.

We don't have a ton of clutter and in fact most people think my house is pretty decluttered but I still see tons of it. I have a small collection (4-5) of smallish statues of various religious icons (Buddha, Shiva, Shakti, and some others) that my dh collected on his travels around the world (he is military). I can't part with them. I really like them but they are visual clutter. I wish I had a nice place to put them.

My other problems is that organization does not come naturally to me. I need to see my stuff (my art supplies, craft, sewing, supplies for example) in order to be inspired and to create but I don't like having everything out in the open for the visual clutter. I guess I need a closing cabinet space for this type of stuff. I do have an armoir that currently houses the TV that we will be soon be ridding ourselves of (next year after we move) so I can repurpose that for my craft and art supplies.

Anyways, I just needed to get that off my chest.

[MonkeyPrincess]

We do maintain a pretty simple, minimalistic home - but I am now focusing on how to apply that to all other areas of our lives. Which, is definitely alot easier to do now that there isn't so much stuff floating around.

I had been inspired by a thread here (minimalistic kitchens or something) and so I went through all my cabinets, which led to all closets and bookshelves through the house. I wound up gathering a moving box sized amount of items that I was happier to part with than to keep in my house.

I am mentioning it because I realized something...I am at the point I want to be as far as the amount of things we have. I have been decluttering for about 4 years, and even more mindfully for the past two years. Up until about a year ago, I would read about someone who got rid of a box and thought...hmm, that wouldn't even make a dent in my house! But, now I'm so happy and proud of myself to be at the point where getting rid of that one box of misc usable items made a noticeable difference in the way the house works.

Like getting rid of the books I had kept around (and it really wasn't many, about 10-12 birth/parenting books I had to loan out to clients - all fit on one small bookshelf) enabled me to relocate my favorite books, and opened up the bookshelf I had been "using" to be used for the kids books. So now, their books are more accessible, and we read even more often through out the day.

Weird example, and I don't know if that makes sense, but I guess I just mean that not having more than I need makes the whole house more functional...on so many levels!

[ParisApril]

I will not let others Christmas anxiety overwhelm me. - That is my holiday mantra this year.

It seems like whenever I talk to people they are already super stressed out about Christmas and parties and plans that I have to ask them if they enjoy Christmas and is it ever FUN? I want Christmas to be enjoyable and I'm not about to get all worked up weeks before the big day. I have been making gifts for months so I'm ready! Food no big deal, whever happens it'll still be Christmas.

DH seems to be on board this year with not overdoing the gifts for the kids and my mom has finally taken me at my word after the 50th time I've told her the house is full. DS is getting a few Thomas the train cars for his set. (Yeah they are tiny! )

DH is also talking about decluttering the garage. Since the garage is his area it's the only area of our house that is still a complete disaster area! He is sick of moving 10 things to get to the 1 thing he needs I guess.

I am looking forward to selling our truck so I can politely decline invites. However I dread that people will offer to pick us up which will not really help the cause we are giving the truck up for and my wallet. We will see how that goes.

[Shall1105]

Still fighting family over Christmas....

I posted a few weeks ago that I was having trouble getting our family on board with how we want to celebrate Christmas.

Well...looks like they completely ignored me AGAIN this year!

We went and saw both sets of parents over Thanksgiving weekend, and both already had PILES of presents, mostly for the kids! AGH! What am I going to do with all this plastic crap?

Any ideas? I mean, its not like I can just not let my son open his presents (baby doesnt know whats going on yet). What am I supposed to do?!

Im already starting to go through his toys and see if theres anything hes grown out of or doesnt use to get rid of, but I stay pretty on top of that so he really does play with most of what he has.

The worst part is we're moving in 3 months when my husband deploys, and we'll be staying with my parents for a few months. So Im going to have to pack/move/store all this new stuff.

[The Hidden Life]

Originally Posted by Shall1105

We went and saw both sets of parents over Thanksgiving weekend, and both already had PILES of presents, mostly for the kids! AGH! What am I going to do with all this plastic crap?

Any ideas?

How about, "Hey Mom and Dad! I am going to have to get rid of all this stuff before we move in a few months. We really don't have the room for it all. Instead of giving it to us how about we donate it all to Toys for Tots? Or keep it at your house to play with when we come over?"

Or buy a Rubbermaid tub and quietly sneak it all back into their house and stash it in THEIR basement or garage. But really, that is what we do, when we have a "set" of something that the kids kinda like but don't play with much or I'm just getting tired of picking it up. I take it over to my mom's house for them to play with when we visit. After a while, I rotate something else out.

And for inspiration, have you read this? www.becomingminimalist.com