Hurting the baby

[amnda527]

Lilah is 26 months, and Logan is 3 months. She is always loving towards him, but sometimes it's just too much. Maybe a week or so ago she stepped on his belly while he was laying on the floor. She did it again today. This time she did it I told her no, and put her in her playpen. I told her that she cannot put her feet on Logan, it hurts him. She was in the playpen, screaming for maybe 30 seconds. I hated to do this. I'm not really a fan of punishments like this, but what else can I do? She absolutely cannot step/stomp on his belly! A simple "no" just doesn't work, and it won't prevent her from doing it again. What should I do?

[foreverinbluejeans]

Don't put the baby on the floor.

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans

Don't put the baby on the floor.

that isn't really practical though, my 3.5m/o is always on the floor practicing crawling and wiggling around, she loves it.

Maybe put the baby on the floor with someone else to supervise also 1 adult for each LO?

[foreverinbluejeans]

Good idea. Or put the baby in the playpen. I didn't know they still made playpens.

Even if the baby likes being on the floor if you can't watch well enough to prevent the baby from getting stepped on then it's not safe. My grandbaby lived with me at that age and we had a full house with people and pets and we never put him on the floor.

[_betsy_]

It's not practical or good for the baby or the sibling relationship to never put the baby on the floor.

My girls are 27 months apart. We have instituted several new family rules since the baby was born (DD1 just turned 3 and the baby is 8.5 months). One of those rules is "Keep your feet to yourself" and any variation thereof that basically means "NO FEET ON THE BABY!" Also, DD1 does not pick up the baby. We're still working on that one every day, since she doesn't get that sitting behind her and putting her arms around the baby's chest and dragging the baby backwards up onto her lap or on top of her as she lays down on her back is ALSO "picking the baby up."

They began to play soooo nicely together once the baby started sitting up. DD1 never tried to stand on her, but she has hopped over her, nudged her with her foot/feet, drummed on her tummy with her feet, etc. We're a hands-on family, I don't want to have a no-touching rule, but at this age, DD1 is just too young to understand the consequences to many of her actions.

When she has done something I don't like, don't find safe, or the baby objects to, I tell her not to do XYZ specific action and/or that she wasn't gentle enough, and then turn my attention completely to the baby, asking her if she's OK, picking her up and soothing her, giving her a lot of attention and cuddling, even if she wasn't particularly shaken by the incident. To be honest, it's the same way we treat incidents between DD1 and the cat, so long as DD1 isn't bleeding (not that he has ever actually scratched her and broken the skin, but we do a once-over of DD to make sure she's not injured before turning our attention and affection to the cat). Usually, DD1 joins in with "Is she OK, Mama?" and sometimes relates what went wrong to the baby by saying something like "My feet were not gentle enough, huh baby? I sorry, baby." Or something like that. Sometimes she's just POed that she got "in trouble" or got caught doing something we've been over time and again, but just like being gentle with the cat, I know this will sink in, too.

Of course, you can't leave the two of them unattended for any length of time, you have to grow eyes out of the back of your head to keep them both safe, and you don't get to do anything by yourself for a while, but it'll get better eventually.

[ChetMC]

Baby & Sibling

I agree with betsy. Our girls are 16 months apart. You can't foster a positive relationship between your kids by severely limiting their access to each other. Keeping one of them in a playpen and never putting the baby on the floor are not solutions to this.

Simple rules are good. Make the rules as positive as possible... ideally the wording should tell your DD what to do, as opposed to what not to do.

We got a Bumbo seat for our second DD. It helped her to sit up earlier, and when she was still a floppy sitter it meant that older DD couldn't knock her over. I agree that baby learning to sit can be a real turning point in the baby-toddler relationship.

We also talked a lot about what babies like (and to a lesser extent, what babies don't like). You can encourage activities like peek-a-boo, singing to the baby, showing the baby pictures in books, etc.... "babies don't like being stepped on, they do like when you sing and clap."

It's also important to remember that babies are not as fragile as we often think they are. They really aren't. DD #2 survived the affection of her older sister surprisingly well, and DS has survived with two sisters without any significant damage.