Cleaning their own bedroom

[ArtsyMomma]

Hi, I was hoping I could get some friendly advice.

My DD's are 5.5 and 6.5, they share a bedroom. It's a small space but there are storage cubbies, bins, boxes. When I clean up it's very organized. Over the last two years I've downsized their toys considerably, probably got rid of 75% and didn't replace much of it.

I'm a single mom and frankly I don't want to pick up their room. I am getting really frustrated by the mess.

At times I've taken the all they mess away and had them earn it back a bag at a time by doing extra chores, I've canceled outings, I've taken away precious toys, television/movies/videogames. It seems like no matter what I do, they just won't pick up. They go into their room and play. To get them to clean I literally have to stand there and watch them the whole time. It is not time effective.

I know they are capable of cleaning up. I just don't want to stand there for hours watching them do it, telling them what to do step by step.

Any helpful advice or suggestions?

[mumblemama]

To be honest, I let the kids keep their room messy if they want. I gave up a few months ago. I am also a single mom.

They need to put the toys from any other room into their bedroom. If they don't, I'll pack them away in the closet. I do urge them to clean up their bedroom, and I'll clean it up for them about every other week or so, but decided it was one of those things I don't want to stress about.

[ArtsyMomma]

Originally Posted by mumblemama

To be honest, I let the kids keep their room messy if they want. I gave up a few months ago. I am also a single mom.

They need to put the toys from any other room into their bedroom. If they don't, I'll pack them away in the closet. I do urge them to clean up their bedroom, and I'll clean it up for them about every other week or so, but decided it was one of those things I don't want to stress about.

I don't really want to stress about it either lol! I would just let it go, but it's a small room and I do have to go in there to put away their clothes and their two year old brother likes to play in there too. If they don't pick up their toys from around the house I just toss them in their room. They also tend to leave food in there, laundry gets lost in the mess, and I can't even walk in the room half the time!

I do wish I could just let it go, but we live in a smallish space.

[AAK]

I think it can be overwhelming for my kids so I got a laundry bin and we first gather everything that is laying about and put it in the basket. Then sort it out. Even though it is the same amount of stuff to put away, it seems easier because it is now in one pile.

[Evergreen]

My dd is 6.5 and I refuse to clean her room anymore. I do have to direct her every move but and I vacuum but I don't actually clean it. It's kind of annoying but better than actually cleaning it.

I'll say "Put all the dirty clothes and towels in the hamper."

She'll come back and say she is done. I will then say, "Are all of the clean clothes put away?"

She'll come back and say she's done. I will say, "Are the stuffed animals in the animal basket.

This will continue with, "Is all the trash thrown away?" " Is the bed made," "Is that pile of cards still in the corner of your room?" "Are there still books on the floor?"

[Alyantavid]

I hated this battle.

My kids are responsible for keeping their rooms clean. But, there isn't much in there now so it takes no time at all.

The playroom, I do help with. I think too much stuff just gets overwhelming. But they do help, and I spend alot of time saying "ds1, pick up all the cars" "ds2, pick up all the puzzles" etc. Little jobs like that seem to help too.

[Deefodil]

My 6yo and 8yo also share a room, and are the same way. I do direct them task by task, like Evergreen does.

Also, the girls LOVE their bedtime story, and if I can't get through their room to sit down and read the story, they don't get one. So most nights, while changing into their pajamas, they're at least clearing a path.

[Evergreen]

I forgot to do the tooth fairy the other week and in the morning when she was curious as to why I told her it was because her room was too messy and the tooth fairy couldn't get through.

I should lose about a thousand parenting points for that.

[mistymama]

Well I don't just send ds in there and expect him to clean it - I stand there with him and give him one job at a time. "Put your socks in the laundry basket", "Now put all cars into the car bin", etc, etc.

We also do a quick daily cleanup right before bath time. This helps SO MUCH. You know how messy their rooms can get, and quick! We do a pickup each night before our bedtime routine, so his room never has a chance to get that messy!

If I waited a week - OH MY, it would probably be a disaster. Daily maintenance works well for us, it takes less than 5 mins.

[bestjob]

Here's the perspective from a mom of a 15 year old with a super-tidy room.

Make a deadline and have a consequence. "We can have an overnight with friends but only if your room is presentable. We'll tidy on Thursday and if it is okay, we'll call X and Y and have them over."

Sooner or later, it will fall apart and you will have to be the mean mom. No worries. You can be the mean mom with hugs and a movie night just for your family and it will all be okay, except they'll start figuring out what they really want.

I takes longer with two in a room. They blame each other for the fiascos. Or they learn to work as a team.

[SeekingJoy]

Mine are still a bit younger (almost 4 and 2), but is it possible that your organization system is too complex?

For us, we have a single toy box in the LR (which functions as our playroom during the day). In his bedroom, DS has 6 under-bed drawers and a bookshelf. DD has a single basket. If I was expecting each toy to go back into a single designated spot, it might take all night. Instead, I figured out what was "good enough" at this age: a clear floor. As they get older, I will probably let them keep more diversity of toys, more with small pieces, etc, but never more than they can easily maintain without family stress.

We also do a nightly 5 min clean up. If we can't clean it in 5 min before storytime, we have too much stuff out.

[Adasmommy]

I'm very happy with my "no food in the bedrooms" rule. Just an idea . . .

And dd is allowed to have her room anyway she wants it--that's what makes it hers. But if there is something I need her to clean up, like her toys and books in the living room, I usually bring it up when she asks me for something.

For example:
Can I watch a movie?
Sure, after you put all the books on the bookshelf, I'll put a movie on.

or,
Will you read me this book?
Okay. Run and put all your fairies back in your room while I get ready.

You could also do:
Can we have pizza for dinner?
Tell you what--clean up your room, and we will.

Works like a charm. She's five.

[annethcz]

I agree that it takes longer with 2 in a room. We decided to put our kids in separate rooms partly because clean-up was such a nightmare of "I'm not cleaning up HER mess" and "But those are HIS legos!". It is so much calmer now that my kids are in their own spaces.

Like others, I give them a deadline. Saturday mornings are always room cleaning mornings, and they aren't allowed to play, watch TV, etc. until their rooms are clean.

[Surfacing]