Feeling guilty about my dog - Page 2

[NaturalMamma]

russk--
No wisdom from me (you've received plenty of that from the other mamas), but I wanted to give you a great big hug. (((HUG))) You have sincerely tried very hard to give this guy the best home and invested a lot of time and effort. I can understand your feeling so upset and torn.

We're considering getting a cat and I really fear going through the same thing--esp if we get one from the humane society. Your story is an example of the "other side" of adopting out when things don't go well. There is so much guilt placed on people for not getting a pet through the humane society--or desiring a kitten so you can raise/train it from day one. People are afraid to inherit someone elses problems. I'm not saying that a pet adopted from the humane society will be problematic, I'm just saying that it happens. There are issues related to poor training, bonding complications, etc. It is tragic that animals aren't given the proper training and care when they are "babies." To me, that's the source of a lot of the problems--someone taking in a puppy or kitten and not training it to be good family member. Then the cycle continues. My DD has been looking online at the pet shelters for mos (since our housebunny died) and it just breaks our heart.

I so wish every pet could be adopted into a family and lead a happy, healthy life. Unfortunately, every pet story doesn't have a perfect ending...we live in a very imperfect world.

As a mama, I know you bear the brunt of the guilt and sadness in all of this. I pray that you will be released from any guilt and have peace in what you and your family decides to do.

[mata]

this is a tiny thing, and quite likely it's occurred to you already, AND it's something I'm working on with one of our dogs-but could you try shifting *your* perception toward the dog, meaning not having a "walk-on-eggshells" energy toward him (and again, I apologize if I'm projecting incorrectly.) I had a behavioralist gently point out how I enable my dog's neurosis, and although it's impossible to completely reverse years of patterning, I'm finding he is getting better when I am firm with him and just don't entertain his neurotic behaviors. It's hard to explain-but very much like what someone said up thread about not letting your life revolve around him anymore and telling him who he is in the pack (and you're the lead.) I know, easier said than done! But even little bits of ground gained will give you relief. What the behavioralist told me was to simply tell the dog what to do, and reassure him that he's ok. Sounds simple and duh, but it really works when applied.

[desertpenguin]

Originally Posted by greenmagick

I definitely would not do corrections on this dog....I really dont believe in them for any dog, but especially not for an already fearful one! That is not to say you wont have to physically stop certain behaviors, but you dont have to correct.

Have you read any books?

well i don't have very much dog experience but i agree...we just adopted a Great Dane from our local shelter. i didn't spend a lot of time looking at dog training books but i bought The Complete Idiot's Guide to Positive Dog Training and i think it's a good place to start. i don't know if it will be the answer for you, but i thought i'd throw it out there. best of luck!