Why is instruction needed?

[BlessedMommy2006]

I've been thinking, in my whole life as an intact female, I never ever remember my parents teaching me to wash my labia. Not once! Not before puberty, not after puberty. Nor did anyone warn me that I would get infections or need my labia removed if I didn't wash it properly. I certainly don't view washing as some sort or chore nor do I always remember even doing it consciously.

I don't even remember when I started giving specific attention to washing the area. The only "consequence" that I've ever had from letting hygiene slide a bit was a bit of ickiness and smell. I've never had a UTI, a yeast infection or any other complication from being an intact female that I can ever remember.

I don't understand why one should even need to tell teenage boys to retract and wash. Won't they figure that out the way a woman would?

[ursaminor]

I completely agree with you! I feel like there is too much emphasis on basic hygiene in both pro and anti circ literature. I think most people grow up having no problem washing their bodies without instruction.

[eclipse]

I agree. I've never told my boys to clean their penis in any particular way.

[Night_Nurse]

I agree with everything you said.

[Oubliette8]

Actually I DO remember my mother telling me to wash my genitals. She also told me it had lots of cracks and crevices where the soap might get stuck, so to be sure to wash it really well. After getting severe irritation as a child from not washing all the soap off (yes, my mother had me use soap), I have been diligent about washing it ever since. I'm actually always worried I wont rinse it well enough, so I consciously do that every time I shower.

All that said, my mother might have been a little odd. I can understand telling a teenager to clean under there, in the same way you'd discuss the need for more regular showering once you hit puberty, or deodorant use etc. I mean, I was an adult before I heard you weren't supposed to use soap on the genitals, I sure wish someone had told me that! And I'm still trying to figure out how people are supposed to clean their navels...

[Sailor]

I actually agree with that. No one told me how to clean my vulva either. So, I don't see the big deal in hygiene lessons for men.

I was thinking, though, that maybe it has to do with the differences in our "bits" lol. Our vaginas are self cleaning. There is a wonderful balance of bacteria in there that pretty much does the cleaning for us. So, I never really need to touch that area. Indeed, for years, I didn't. It wasn't until my 20's that I started cleaning between the folds, so to speak. Sorry for the TMI.

Whereas, as far as I'm aware, men don't have a self cleaning system. Which is why "clean underneath or you'll get smegma build up" lessons happen. Or am I wrong and men also have a self-cleaning situation?

[BlessedMommy2006]

Originally Posted by Sailor

Whereas, as far as I'm aware, men don't have a self cleaning system. Which is why "clean underneath or you'll get smegma build up" lessons happen. Or am I wrong and men also have a self-cleaning situation?

Women get smegma buildup between the labial folds just the same way that men get smegma underneath the foreskin.

[BlessedMommy2006]

The other thing I wondered, is that if hypothetically an intact man NEVER rinsed under his foreskin would he get an infection or something? Or is that more pro-circ propaganda?

[SleeplessMommy]

I think the "no soap" part of the instruction is useful. How many women have gotten yeast infections from soap on private parts?

[beru]

Originally Posted by Sailor

Whereas, as far as I'm aware, men don't have a self cleaning system. Which is why "clean underneath or you'll get smegma build up" lessons happen. Or am I wrong and men also have a self-cleaning situation?

I have been assuming that it is a self-cleaning system. Because it hasn't been dried out, the glans of an intact male is moist and it lies encased in mucous membrane (inner foreskin). That wet, moist environment sounds analogous to what women have so I don't see why it should work differently. This is just an assumption, though.

[FernG]

Originally Posted by SleeplessMommy

I think the "no soap" part of the instruction is useful. How many women have gotten yet infections from soap on private parts?

I agree. I instinctively wiped and rinsed without soap. It's starting to be common knowledge to not douche, but I had to teach my sister and several friends to quit using soap. They were all complaining about odor, and they were all aggressively cleaning with soap everyday. I advised that they switch to water only and recolonize with high-quality probiotics. That cleared up the odors for all of them.

[mysticmomma]

I've told my daughter to rinse water in there by spreading her labia apart a little bit when she sits in the tub and not use soap.

[jessjgh1]

I think the instruction is only needed because it counters the many myths out there. Remember doctors used to tell parents to clean underneath infants foreskins with q-tips... and many people still think there is some level of cleaning that parents have to do as well as that the foreskin is dirty and hard to wash.
The three R's are a quick, easy, somewhat catchy device to counter this, to some degree.

Jessica

[Dave2GA]

In the adult it is not really self-cleaning. But I doubt you would die if you didn't retract and rinse. What do you think men did before there were showers?

[mysticmomma]

Originally Posted by Dave2GA

In the adult it is not really self-cleaning. But I doubt you would die if you didn't retract and rinse. What do you think men did before there were showers?

Their penises fell off.

[Evergreen]

I instruct my girls to wipe front to back and to not use soap in there.

I also have to instruct them to wash certain not easily accessible parts of the body (behind the ears, under the chin...) so perhaps it is of the same concept.

[MaterPrimaePuellae]

Well, I was pretty lax about hygiene as a child, and I did suffer for it. This is so gross, but I would go for days without changing my underwear, didn't clean well at all (and when I did, cleaned with lots of soap and not enough rinsing). I had very unpleasant genital itching that would come and go, and I don't think I ever told anyone.

So, I don't personally think there is anything wrong with a little instruction! I have certainly already mentioned to DD, "Don't get soap around your urethra, you might get a urinary tract infection" or similar. Also, we could not use wipes with her at all (sensitivity), so I did occasionally have to swish her bottom around in the water, and I always explained to her what I was doing.

Kids think up crazy things. Clarifying personal hygiene for them in a gentle way can't do any harm, IMO, and I certainly don't think it hurts the "cause."

[Llyra]

I think the reason many girls don't remember being taught how to clean themselves is that it likely happened very casually, and very early on in the toddler years when we were first learning about taking baths. I know I always remind my girls, at the end of a bath, "did you wash your bum and your girl parts?" I teach them to rinse with lots of water because they don't always do the best job wiping after using the toilet. It's usually mothers that teach kids this stuff, and a woman teaching a girl just passes on what she herself knows, without any awkwardness, and it never sticks out in our minds as an "event" that happened to us. But with intact penises, there isn't a line of unbroken "know-how" being passed down like there is with girls, ya know? There's been so much crazy misinformation that needs correcting, and still so much disagreement about exactly what's needed.l

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Originally Posted by mysticmomma

Their penises fell off.

[SunShineSally]

Originally Posted by BlessedMommy2006

I've been thinking, in my whole life as an intact female, I never ever remember my parents teaching me to wash my labia. Not once! Not before puberty, not after puberty. Nor did anyone warn me that I would get infections or need my labia removed if I didn't wash it properly.

I know that this is a serious post BUT I was so hard