Those with Babes looking for advice

[StrongFeather]

Hey there..I thought we could have a thread for the PP Moms who were running into, um, issues such as I am.

SO.. we are on a bit of lack of sleep over here,** warning if I ramble
Sam was diagnosed with Reflux yesterday.He is also very gassy, farts up a storm!! Now when it's not as bad as it *could* be (I hope I am not jinxing myself here), it's still really really hard. Right now we have a couple of suspected causes:

The fact that he was a preemie puts him at having this, underdeveloped GI track, etc..

I have determined that I have at least one over producing boob. (the girl-friend boob as my pedi called it, made me laugh)..so the inbalance in the foremilk/hindmilk he was most likely getting could be causing extra gas/reflux. To remedey this I am block feeding to try and get the over zealous side to calm down, also no extra pumping.

May be a dairy intolerance..aka cow's protein, so you guessed it..I am on a no dairy (and soy for that matter) diet. No fun.at.all. But if it helps Sam feel better, than I will do it, of course.

Other things we are doing:

keeping him upright as much as possible, especially after feedings.

letting him feed on demand (smaller feeding are easier to digest, and it just makes sense, no?)

burping!!

bicycling kicks when it seems he is gassy..masasging the tummy, back, etc..

So I figure you BTDT Mommas know a wealth of infomation on this, figured I would see if anyone had any suggestions for me. things to try? Anyone try Colic Calm? I have read it turns poo black/stains, as in staining my prefolds, but for a little relief, maybe worth it? I am trying to wear him, but in all honestly with my lack fo sleep/food, and a fussy baby it's really really been hard to get him in it, and or get it wrapped correctly..

I guess I am looking for anything you experienced Moms got, including how to deal with it. I am taking the brunt of it. DH gets to sleep through the night for the most part. (which I must admit I am starting to resent.which I realize is a whole OTHER thread)

ok sorry, so wordy!

also other Mom's feel free to post any issues you may need help with, I am sure we can help

[2boyzmama]

I've had two reflux babes, my first it was like a volcano, it came up in impressive amounts all day long for about 6 months. However, he wasn't fussy, he slept well (for a baby), and he gained weight like crazy. So we didn't do anything about it, just carried cloth diapers around with us everywhere we went to soak up the puke.

My second had lots of trouble. He had to be positioned very carefully, didn't gain weight, aspirated his reflux and got pneumonia at 9 weeks old, developed a swallowing disorder, etc etc etc. It was a nightmare!!!

So I feel for you!

I also was an overproducer, and had to pump off my foremilk before nursing or it was sure to come all back up again. I also discovered that Connor had a milk/soy protein intolerance, and once I finally got on the appopriate diet, his reflux eased SO MUCH!! We got him off all meds and he started gaining a little bit of weight finally.

This webpage is a GREAT resource: http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/index.html

And I literally printed this out and carried it with me everywhere I went:
http://www.kellymom.com/store/freeha...en-dairy01.pdf

It wasn't until I eliminated all "hidden" dairies AND all soy (except soy lecithin, he could handle that) that the reflux stopped enough to wean him off meds (he was on prevacid after we tried several other meds that didn't help).

Being on the dairy/soy free diet SUCKS!!! I would literally DREAM of ice cream or pizza!! I lost a lot of weight, so there's a positive at least, right?! I started drinking rice milk, then switched to almond milk, and actually learned to like it! I recently discovered coconut milk which cooks better in recipes. Note that a lot of dairy/soy intolerant babies can handle goat's milk, so if you have a source of that, you might want to try it. Some can also handle raw cow's milk (the process of pasteurizing changes the protein chains) and my son can now handle small amounts of dairy if it's been cooked (like if a casserole has some milk in it).

So yeah...I've been where you are It sucks, but it's worth it in the end, believe me!!

[BekahMomToOliver]

Oh honey, I couldn't read and not respond, since my experience with my 1st was EXACTLY the same. Right down to the overproducing boob and everything! I don't know if I have much that will help, as we're still dealing with reflux at night on occasion, but it DOES get better. I promise you!

Originally Posted by StrongFeather

The fact that he was a preemie puts him at having this, underdeveloped GI track, etc.. DS wasn't a preemie, but he was born about four days early after a membrane sweep and I've often wondered if maybe he wasn't quite ready yet and the reflux thing was a result of this... that's one reason I'm not too worried about this babe being 'overdue'... yet

I have determined that I have at least one over producing boob. (the girl-friend boob as my pedi called it, made me laugh)..so the inbalance in the foremilk/hindmilk he was most likely getting could be causing extra gas/reflux. To remedey this I am block feeding to try and get the over zealous side to calm down, also no extra pumping.For me, it was good old Righty. And it took us weeks of foamy green poop to figure it out, so you're doing very well catching it early! It sounds like you're doing everything right, I found the block feeding really seemed to help. I used to pump off some foremilk at the beginning of his feeds too, if I was engorged. That seemed to help too. As he grew, he tolerated it better and it became less of an issue. It was always his favorite though!

May be a dairy intolerance..aka cow's protein, so you guessed it..I am on a no dairy (and soy for that matter) diet. No fun.at.all. But if it helps Sam feel better, than I will do it, of course. I cut out dairy (watch out for all the hidden stuff!) for a month/six weeks, but ultimately it didn't do much to help DS feel better. There wasn't a noticeable change, except to my waistline, I lost about 15 extra lbs.

Other things we are doing:

keeping him upright as much as possible, especially after feedings. You may find the car seat/swing bothers him. That was the case with DS, just the position he had to be in in those put pressure on his tummy and his reflux would really hurt him. His bouncy seat was okay, since there was less of a bend in the middle.

letting him feed on demand (smaller feeding are easier to digest, and it just makes sense, no?)Definitely. Also, the breastmilk seemed to sothe the burn for DS.

burping!!

bicycling kicks when it seems he is gassy..masasging the tummy, back, etc..

So I figure you BTDT Mommas know a wealth of infomation on this, figured I would see if anyone had any suggestions for me. things to try? Anyone try Colic Calm? I have read it turns poo black/stains, as in staining my prefolds, but for a little relief, maybe worth it? We used simethicone (Ovol Drops) and they really helped with his gas issues. Gripe water helped too.

I am trying to wear him, but in all honestly with my lack fo sleep/food, and a fussy baby it's really really been hard to get him in it, and or get it wrapped correctly.. DS hated the sling at first, until he was about 7 months old. I think it kind of hurt his tummy to be wrapped up tight, because he never tolerated swaddling either.

I guess I am looking for anything you experienced Moms got, including how to deal with it. I am taking the brunt of it. DH gets to sleep through the night for the most part. (which I must admit I am starting to resent.which I realize is a whole OTHER thread)
Have you tried having Sam sleep on his side? I know back is best, but for refluxy babies the side is considered safer because there's less chance they'll aspirate some acid. Also, DS slept MUCH better on his side, although like I said he still wakes frequently at night. He's a bit of an anomaly, though, as they usually outgrow it by the time they're walking. I saw MAJOR improvement after he could sit at about 6 months, he was SO much happier during the day!

ok sorry, so wordy!

also other Mom's feel free to post any issues you may need help with, I am sure we can help

Reflux/colic is ROUGH. BUT, I have found in the end that I'm kind of thankful DS was "fussy", because he demanded my best and therefore he taught me so much about parenting. And when they start to turn around, it happens quickly and you kind of wake up one day with this happy baby, who trusts you completely because you've always been there when they cried, even if you didn't know why or what to do about it. It's the fact that you're trying , they pick up on that and it helps them.

Oh, and VERY important: Please PLEASE get yourself a copy of Dr. Sears's "The Baby Book"! He has an incredible section on reflux/colic, it was my Bible for those first rough months. The whole book is amazing, really. Mine is so well-used that both covers have fallen off I totally, wholeheartedly recommend it to ALL you mama's out there.

Most of all, I promise you it will get better!

[Julia24]

I've had two reflux babies as well. Honestly - it's definitely a learning curve and I just assume Charlotte has it (funny, it seems to run in families, hey?).

Tricks to calm a fussy baby: Fans, vacuums (so cliche - but they really do love it), water running, etc. Is Sam very alert? It seems to go along with the reflux for some reason - I don't quite get it, but there seems to be some correlation...so even though it seems crazy he might like some tv (like the Baby Einstein videos), we lived in an apartment that backed up to a busy road when Maddie was a baby and she LOVED to watch traffic when she was a tiny baby. So odd!

I actually found the OPPOSITE with feedings. I found that constant feeding just exacerbated the problem for my kids; it's like they were constantly digesting and refluxing so they were ALWAYS in pain - instead of only every three hours. That last hour in between feeds was always their most peaceful (still is). It still takes us FOR-EVER to get Charlotte back down after nighttime feeds.

We medicated Maddie, but passed with Grace bc we never felt like it helped that much....

Also, we always prop in the boppy or the swing, I honestly don't think Charlotte has ever laid flat except to look around.

Oh - I forgot about this one - the football hold. They LOVE that. something about the pressure on their tummy, made my kids so much happier. And being tummy to tummy with us - like a heating pad and upright. That always helped as well. (still does - Charlotte LOVES the meitai, much better than the sling, in fact)

Otherwise, I suggest you invest in a great rocking chair/recliner and a pillow for your head. We spend many many hours sleeping in those. It's just easier than being up and down with an upset infant. IF we get them to sleep, we just stay put with them. We actually have had this in our heads during major furniture purchases - we have a glider with a gliding ottoman and a locking mech. in her room - and a chair and a half with another ottoman and it rocks in the family room. That way no matter where we are, we can be comfy while still holding our babies pretty much upright.

You need to start switching off on the comforting duty with dh. You're going to get burnt out and if you're already feeling 'blue-sy', it's only going to get worse! You feed - then hand off for dh to do the comforting duty. Have him leave the room and shut the door (and turn on a fan or something) so you can get some sleep. You'll be no good to Sam if you're exhausted!

[confustication]

My first was like this, and Keagan is still too little to know, but I suspect he is as well- we'll see if it's still going on in another week or so.

Something to really work on is to hand the baby to your husband, you can feed him then hand him off. Let his dad give you a break whenever possible. The other things that have always worked well for us were to head out and about- I know you mentioned that wearing him wasn't yet working well for you but it's worth taking the time to master.

I can pop Keagan in the moby and have a good two hours to get things done without his fussing. I found youtube videos were better for teaching how to wrap/babywear than any of the manuals were... somehow the step by step thing confused me, but the overall process sank in just fine.

Sleep? Well, I'm sleeping better now than I did when I was pregnant, but I do look forward to when K is better at nursing sidelying- so far we've managed it a couple times, but never for long. I keep a cloth diaper or a towel nearby and underneath us for spitup/leakage. Less annoying than changing the sheets in the middle of the night.

I really do resent that DH gets to sleep for as long as he wants, without interruption. I can't help with that, it's simple biology. I do know though that this intense newborn/infant period is over in a flash, and I try to remember that when I'm having a difficult moment. I aim to enjoy our stolen quiet moments in the middle of the night- snuggly warm babyhood will be over far too soon.

[StrongFeather]

thanks for all the advice and suggestions Mommas!

2boyz-thanks for the "Hidden Dairy" chart, grocery shopping yesterday with it really opened my eyes so to say

BekahMomToOliver- I have a copy of the Dr Sears book, i'll get it out. I think I skimmed or skipped that chapter in hopes of not having a baby that had colic/reflkux..

Julia- going to try some of those tricks..the house actually could use some vaccumming, surprise, surprirse ;-) Also I have been debatig the Mei Tai.. I really realy want one, but was so scared of buying another carrier and not having it work.

confustication- I'll keep at the Moby. I think I need a baby wearing Momma to help me..might bring it to my MW's office..one of the students surely cna help me!

again thanks for the suggestions..

[2boyzmama]

Originally Posted by StrongFeather

2boyz-thanks for the "Hidden Dairy" chart, grocery shopping yesterday with it really opened my eyes so to say

Not all babies are so sensitive that the mom needs to follow so strict a diet, but you should try it for at least 3-4 weeks, then you can add a few of the "hidden" dairies back in and see what happens. It takes a lot of trial and error, but eventually you'll discover exactly what he can and can't handle in your diet.

And if you ever reach the point where you're miserable and depressed about the limited diet (I certainly did!) then maybe it's time for a "challenge" where you allow yourself one serving of dairy and see if he reacts.

Eventually Connor was able to handle me eating a few servings of dairy a week, his reaction was definitely cumulative, if I had just one every other day or so, he handled it okay. If I had more than that, it effected him for sure! Then slowly it was one serving a day, then two servings a day, until I was able to add all dairy back in my diet. He still can't eat it, but at least now I can!

Beware, also, that if you go off dairy and soy for a few months, when you try it again, you may find yourself lactose intolerant!! Most Americans are lactose intolerant, and just don't know it. But when you remove it from your diet and then add it back in, you're likely to notice!! I was really depressed about that at first, but I just went out and bought some lactase pills and suffered until my body built a resistance again. I know it's healthier to be dairy free, but I just wasn't willing to give up my pizza and ice cream and alfredo permanently!!! It took me a few weeks before I wasn't reacting, but I can now eat normal amounts of dairy with no problem.

Oh, and Connor LIVED in a ring sling. He couldn't forward face in it, that position put too much pressure on his tummy, but he could be tummy to tummy or eventually on my hip when he was big enough. That ring sling was a life saver for us!! I was able to nurse him in there in a fully upright position then keep him fully upright for however long he needed.

[Dmitrizmom]

Consider taking baby to a chiro... I know alot of babies with reflux and colic that have been helped by adjustments. s Its hard to see your baby in pain.

[murphysaangel]

Originally Posted by Dmitrizmom

Consider taking baby to a chiro... I know alot of babies with reflux and colic that have been helped by adjustments. s Its hard to see your baby in pain.

That's exactly what I was going to say. I worked at a chiro office for 5 years and saw DOZENS of babies get help with their reflux. If you need help finding one in your area let me know!

I'd also second the Gripe Water idea (I like this one best: http://www.colicease.com/)

...and possibly a pro-biotic like this one: http://www.jarrow.com/product.php?prodid=201

[Julia24]

ditto about the dairy. Even though I'm not nursing anymore - I took a friends' advice and just eliminated MILK from my diet from the get go. (and not even like in recipes - simply not EATING milk or ice cream or pudding - you know, stuff mostly milk). I still ate cheese, etc., but that was enough to make Charlotte good. I did it right from the start though, I mistakenly ate 'ice cream cake' - the cake part is what I focused on and she was MISERABLE the whole day. I couldn't figure out what the heck was wrong with her - people had come to visit and she'd been essentially comatose up until that day and about a week later while looking at the leftovers and saying to myself, I can't eat that...I realized what I had done. Duh!

[Julia24]

Oh, and btw - I was skeptical of spending the $$$ on the mei tai. I have a sling and like it just fine, yk? However, I found this one on ebay - it was mid range (neither $20 nor $80, yk?) and it's extremely cute and well made. People comment on it EVERY day (and I use it EVERY day - we walk Maddie to and from school and I like to 'wear' Charlotte to keep the gawking at bay - she's still pretty tiny, yk?) But I finally understand the saying "wear them down" to sleep. She is generally absolutely asleep by the time we get home from that walk and I can transfer her to the swing (by having a blanket already laid out to swaddle her in - near the swing) or get a few chores done, yk?

[winnie]

I don't really have any suggestions that haven't already been mentioned, but wanted to reply with some support.
DS was VERY colicky for the first 6 months, and looking back, I really wish I looked further into reflux. It seems like some of the signs were there but I just didn't see it at the time. Likely because I wasn't sleeping, barely had time to eat, and felt like I was on the verge of a breakdown most of the time. It is so difficult. Accept any help that people offer to you, and get as much assistance from your husband as he'll give - especially at night. DS seemed comforted being held upright on DP's chest, and DP would hum - the vibrations in his throat were soothing I guess.

I also had oversupply and a very forceful letdown, and I do this time as well. In fact my left nipple is like a sprinkler (TMI?), so I've just started to take DD off until it calms down, otherwise the milk is hitting the back of her throat and she's gagging, thus sucking in all sorts of air (which means she will be upset and gassy later). Something I tried with DS was to nurse side-lying with him laying on a pillow, so that he was actually at a higher level than me. That way gravity is working against the flow of milk. I hope that makes sense - it was tough to master that one, and he was a little older - I don't think I could do that with a 1 month old.

Olivia has had a cold the past three days, just with congestion, but sleeping has been rough, and today I've just figured out that we both have thrush. Dealt with thrush for a LONG time with DS so I really hope I can get rid of it quicker this time!!

Lack of sleep always makes everything ten times worse, so be sure to nap ANY time you can. Let the house get messy. It doesn't matter - you will be able to deal with your baby so much more easily if you've had some decent rest. Good luck!

Erin

[winnie]

Oooh and same thing here as Julia was saying, when I walk DS to school I wear Olivia in the wrap (homemade, long piece of stretchy material basically), and she is OUT within a minute of walking. I find a stretchy wrap to work best for newborn stage, I can't seem to get any other carrier to hold her head up well enough.
It is definitely worth finding someone to help you with the carriers. They are a life-saver with a fussy baby.

[StrongFeather]

Originally Posted by murphysaangel

...and possibly a pro-biotic like this one: http://www.jarrow.com/product.php?prodid=201

my best friend is actually the north east rep for jarrow..i'll have to get some ;-)
too funny

[MyZoeJane]

No experience with reflux here, just wanted to commiserate on the lack of sleep portion.

I swear, it's sort of a sick joke how nature makes us "forget" how rough it can be at first! I don't remember feeling this exhausted with my first...

My problem is that my new son is a baracuda at the breast! Holy meatgrinder, Batman!

[mommam]

All really good advice, but let me second the PROBIOTICS - for you and baby. Just mix a little of the powder with breastmilk and dab in their mouth. That with eliminating all dairy finally did it for my ds. And he had to sleep ON someone for months. Side sleeping with you is safe IMO and helpful, but being a bit upright is better for reflux babies. We swaddled and put him in a flattish boppy between us, to keep his head up.

If it is really bad, I imagine the Amby or Cocoon type sleepers would be worth it - check Craigslist. We were totally prepared to shell out for one this time, though money is tight, as sleep deprivation for months is a horrible thing for a family and a marriage to cope with, especially on top of a fussy baby.

Oh, and definitely read Happiest Baby on the Block for soothing techniques that WORK - a quick read and a must for you and your hubby. It was truly a lifesaver. Master the tight swaddle and get a swing at least.

Best of luck and prayers. It can get so ugly when your baby is challenging from the get go. Remember, this too shall pass and it WILL get better. My dd has shown me what most people get with a newborn, and all I can say is, "Thank GOD!" Other people don't get it, how hard it can be, especially when it is your first. Take care of yourself the best you can - showers are especially important for keeping your sanity , even if you spend some of them crying as you sit in the tub (BTDT). Hugs!

[StrongFeather]

just wanted to say we tried the gripe water this evening. I can see a difference already! I do plan on trying some of the other ideas as well, but to have a night where it didn't seem like he was in pain, wow..

also he hadn't pooped since Monday afternoon, and finally pooped tonight, I know that it can be normal for a breastfed baby not to have a bm for a couple of days, but it does feel really good to know that that he's not, ummm, backed up.

[confustication]

Originally Posted by MyZoeJane

My problem is that my new son is a baracuda at the breast! Holy meatgrinder, Batman!

I was there a couple days ago- the toe-curling nursing sessions. OW! We seem to have turned a corner over the past day and a half though, ad while it can still be a little painful, the scabs have healed most of the way and I can get him latched without wanting to jump out of my skin. There is hope!

[RavenStar]

hi,
I just wanted to recommend cranio-sacral therapy. Some massage therapists specialize in children. I wish I was in your area so I could recommend someone specific. I know two chiropractors who do this work and it really helps with reflux/colic/digestive issues.

[Julia24]

The no poop thing was the BEST part of bfing, imo. Especially with cloth Grace would go almost a week between poops when she was bfing.....

the basic jist is, as long as it's not a 'turd', not formed at ALL when Sam goes, then he's fine and that's not what's causing him pain. Just be happy for every poopy diaper you DON'T have to change

keep in mind though, that constipation and reflux also seem to be correlated. Maddie was constipated something awful (though she was on soy formula from the get go - I'm still worried about this to this day...I hope she doesn't end up with cancer someday bc of that!) My other two have had to use Good Start or some other 'gentle' formula, bc otherwise they're totally backed up. (I don't recall it being a problem at ALL with the bm though....so keep up the good work on that!!!!)