June Mommies Feb 8-14 - Page 2

[mattjule]

I second (or third or fourth) the maternity next to the plus size section. For me, I never really had a problem with weight or body image. I hate that I can't always tell the difference between the two so I find something that is cute, get in the dressing room and discover it is size 24 instead of being maternity. It is so hard to tell where the plus size ends and the maternity begins. It's like they don't recognize there is a distinct difference in fit.

Anyone else long-legged? I don't understand why they have to add insult to injury by making all the maternity pants highwaters. I guess I come from the whole grunge age when your pants dragged on the ground, but regardless of my reasons, I would love to find pants that consistently covered my ankles. I like not having to match my socks to my outfit.

Bought some panties from Old Navy. Way too big. I was pretty disappointed. Plus I could only return 1 package b/c they were big enough not to fit, but small enough that I don't think the next size down would work so I washed them to see if they would shrink a little. They didn't. There is no way I am a small normally.

I hate buying maternity on-line. You never know how it is going to fit and it is such a pain to wait and wait for it and then return it. A few of you have mentioned Gap. Does their maternity stuff fit like their normal stuff? I love the fit of Gap clothes but I want assurance that the sizing is similar for maternity so I know I won't have to keep returning things.

Thanks for some theme ideas. I told Matt today that it is hard, b/c I feel that I don't raise my children to be stereotypical of their gender but for some reason I really love traditional boy themes. Problem is, Tain is so traditionally a boy: loves trains, cars, blocks, he has a wooden puzzle of different types of planes and that is the current fav toy-I think he just likes to watch me make the noises. So I am struggling with finding something boyish and at the same time finding something that won't remind me of Tain. Maybe horses/nature? It's not like I am decorating a nursery so it won't be rampant, just a quilt and maybe one or two other things. I still think Rowan's name reminds me of horses. And I really love the retro 50's prints that are so en vogue at the fabric stores. But is that too close to cowboys?

Made the baby hat and pants today. This is my first foray into sewing knits. It was so easy on my serger, but my reg machine was another story. So the elastic fits in the pants a little weird, but they are definitely wearable. The hat fits my dh. He has an ENORMOUS head. I think the knit was a little stretched from him spilling tea on it-we rinsed it, but never put it through the dryer or anything. Plus the pattern looked way too big. And one size fits all for preemie through large? Yeah, right. Anyway, now I know how much smaller I need to make it. I figure I can adjust it and make one for Tain and one for Rowan. Provided I can get Tain to wear it....Hey, I can make one for everyone (maybe Matt would like a skull cap in a fabric different from monkeys and bananas...)

[spatulagirl]

It's funny about all this talk of underwear! because just this morning I was wondering if I was the only one who still wore my regular underwear while pregnant? I wear Jockey Bikinis and I can wear them all the way through the pregnancy. It was great! I still plan on doing it this time, saves me a lot of money

We have our ultrasound on Friday... I am excited to see the baby but hoping that they can't see the sex! I am not going to find out what it is but DH wants to know. I don't care if he knows and I don't but I am afraid that he will give it away! I so don't want to know the sex of this baby!

I was worried too about if it was a boy. We have so many clothes that I would hate to waste it all. This may sound silly but I would also be disappointed that I don't get to go shopping for more clothes if the baby were a boy! I have so much fun buying clothes for Hunter... I don't want to just stop buying for this baby because it is the same gender. I am going to try to do half and half. I will sell a bunch of stuff on e-bay and use it to buy some new stuff. That will be needed too because this baby will be in different sizes in different seasons so some stuff will have to be new (or so I tell myself!)

[rubelin]

We have one BabyGap store here that has a little bit of maternity stuff, but it's only a test so they have 6 - 14 only. The sales lady was supr helpful though, said I should call in my order from the website and get someone to give me the garment measurments. I don't know if they'd actually do that, but I guess it's worth a try. I still have 2 pairs of jean from last time that I've just altered to fit better and all my knit pants from the spring and summer are still fitting pretty well so I think i'll be good. I tried that Belly Belt thing the last time I was at Motherhood, but it was really too big to fit well. I think I'll end up taking a spare piece of elastic and making one so that I can wear the shorts I already have when it warms up.

We don't have a whole lot of hand-me-downs from Ben cause our friends have a son 11 mo younger and we gave most everything to them. I only saved the stuf I loved so we have about 5 - 10 items in each size. I don't have issues with sharing, and it's kind of neat to think of another baby in some of these little things. We also passed on most of the baby toys except for a few infant things that Ben won't even remember so I think we'll have a good enough mix of old and new. We also have a pretty large age spread between them, so most of the things we kept we barely can remember having in the first place by now, lol!

[mattjule]

I wear Victoria's Secret bikinis. I found if I fold the elastic down once, they fit better than anything else I've got. A friend of mine wore hers all the way through her pregnancy. I am thinking of getting some of the low-rise bikinis so I don't have to mess with the elastic. At least I could try them on and know they fit!

So I decided to chart my sleeping last night (basically bother to look at the clock). DH woke me at 2:15 or so out of a dead sleep to have sex. I was pretty annoyed at first but sometimes the end justifies the means, yk? So at 3:40, still not sleeping but must have drifted off shortly thereafter. 4:40 awake. 5:40 awake. 6:10 awake. 7:00 ds wakes me to nurse, but drifts off afterwards (thank god!) 8:00 ds wakes for good. So basically I am sleeping in one-hour incriments. No wonder I feel so tired. I know dh works until 1 am and I know that makes him really tired, but I swear some mornings I just want to kick him (our mattress is on the floor so it'd be really easy) and make him get up with ds instead of me. I have tried to nap with ds lately. I keep waking long before he does and am unable to go back to sleep. I am so tired and frustrated. What is my problem?!

[Mummoth]

I also think that the maternity department should *not* be next to the Women's (fat people) department in stores. It seems to me that it sends an unhealthy message to women that gaining weight during pregnancy is the same as getting fat.

This comment disturbs me on so many levels.

My first reaction was: If plus size clothing are this bothersome, then how offensive are plus size people? If the 'fat people' clothes have to be seperate from the maternity clothes (read: YOU) how far away do overweight people have to be, for your comfort?

Imagine what a grocery store would look like, if it was designed to appease the feelings of the uber-sensitive.
Feminine hygene products couldn't be in the same aisle as diapers (infant OR adult)... that would imply that menstruation is the same as loss of control over ones bowels.
Meat and Dairy would have to be in a seperate room, with it's own cooling/heating system, so vegetarians/vegans wouldn't have to see or smell an animal carcass, or see animal food products.
Magasines would be behind a black curtain, so children wouldn't be exposed to the sexually explicit images on their covers (ok, so that one wouldn't be so bad)
Snack foods, and all other foods deemed fattening, or unhealthy in some way, would be in a locked case, so dieters would feel a bit safer walking past them.

Rather than re-organise the store, why not educate women on nutrition and excersize during pregnancy? Why not raise our girls to be comfortable in their own skin?

The AVERAGE woman is a size 12 -14 (the largest 'regular' sizes, at least in Canada) So, rather than think of plus sizes as 'fat people' clothes, try thinking of them as normal people clothes.

There are probably just as many women who apreciate the plus sizes being next to the maternity section, as those who don't. There ARE times when a plus size shirt will fit just as well as a maternity one.

Ahhhhh! Now, maybe I won't do this:

[AnaNicole]

Regarding the plus size section

I was also a touch bothered by the original post, although I don't think the poster (Eilonwy?) meant it as it seems to have come across. This sounds more like a personal issue, to me, and I can grok that this society has some major issues about body image (check out the upcoming issue of Mothering, in fact) to the point where pregnant women actually diet. Her continued thoughts on the subject:
I know that a lot of my sister's friends when she was in high school and pregnant would diet during their pregnancies, and I just think that's so sad, that girls and women feel a need for that, you know? I mean, I am a fat person and I was before I got pregnant, but as a normal-sized person before I got pregnant with Eli, I found it really depressing to be right next to the fat-people clothes (I was overweight but just shy of the fat-people clothing sizes...)
This paragraph leads me to believe that her post really isn't about this:
If plus size clothing are this bothersome, then how offensive are plus size people? If the 'fat people' clothes have to be seperate from the maternity clothes (read: YOU) how far away do overweight people have to be, for your comfort?
but rather about the societal messages that are ingrained in the minds of some people, leading them to believe that pregnant=fat. And, further, that product placement in clothing stores can emphasize this negatively.

HOWEVER, big however here, the post ALSO illuminates this very issue for what it is--a perhaps unhealthy emphasis on being thin (which I think can sometimes morph into discrimination of people who are not). My personal take on this is not to read too much into where the maternity clothes are placed. And I absolutely agree with this:
Rather than re-organise the store, why not educate women on nutrition and excersize during pregnancy? Why not raise our girls to be comfortable in their own skin?

The AVERAGE woman is a size 12 -14 (the largest 'regular' sizes, at least in Canada) So, rather than think of plus sizes as 'fat people' clothes, try thinking of them as normal people clothes.

There are probably just as many women who apreciate the plus sizes being next to the maternity section, as those who don't. There ARE times when a plus size shirt will fit just as well as a maternity one.

Shifting cultural perceptions is key, and in my opinion, that shift starts with the individual. Being near tears in the maternity section because of either the size of the clothes OR the proximity to the plus size department is a good sign that professional mental health counseling would be a good idea.

And yes, for those who are wondering, I am thin and have been for most of my life. The exception was after I gave birth to my third baby, who weighed almost 10 pounds. I held on to more than 15 pounds extra for months after that (until my husband left me and I inadvertently went on the grief diet!). I have also been in counseling for over 4 years and am a big believer in it--for everyone, frankly!

/ramble

[AnaNicole]

One more thought on the size issue

My fabulous 7yo, Mirabai, who weighs probably 45 pounds soaking wet (and she isn't short) is thin as a rail and has frightened me MORE THAN ONCE, now, with comments about her size. She has alluded to being fat (when I think she should eat more) and I once overheard her ask her brother if the chips he was eating had fat in them...and then decline one when he said yes. This all started up a few months after a huge meltdown over clothing I had packed for her when we took a driving trip through S. Arizona to visit my dad. Temps were supposed to be in the 80s and 90s so I packed tees and shorts...only to troop into a thrift store in Tucson on the first day of the trip to buy her long-sleeved shirts and pants because she absolutely could NOT show any bare skin due to her skin color (she is olive-complected--I have east Indian blood in my family) and her "knobby knees." Another hangup: she won't wear her hair in ponytails because she has "hair stuck to the back of" her neck.

Where does she get all of this?? I am at a loss. It isn't from me, nor her father. Certainly not from anyone else in the family. She doesn't watch a lot of TV. I think the skin color thing came from school (she somehow figured that she was dark enough to risk being assassinated as was MLK?!?!). Compared to the rest of us (my other two kids are redheads) she is dark, but really, she's still a white girl.

So while I am doing my absolute best to raise all my kids with a healthy body image, apparently somewhere along the way that was usurped. And damn, this all started when my kid was six years old.

It's frightening to think that my child will be the pregnant one crying the maternity section cause she feels "fat."

[Greaseball]

I hate buying maternity on-line. You never know how it is going to fit and it is such a pain to wait and wait for it and then return it.

I had this experience with iMaternity. First of all, I didn't know their clothes were Motherhood brand, so now I'm probably getting a free case of formula in the mail! One shirt was damaged - it had a diagonal rip across the front. I had to buy a big envelope to send it back in, pay to mail it, and I was only refunded the purchase price, not shipping.

Old Navy was much better. I ordered some pants that were too big, and they provided an addressed, postage-paid envelope for returns. They replaced the pants and I didn't have to pay shipping on the new ones or the old ones.

I haven't ordered from the Gap yet, since their stuff is more expensive than Old Navy, but maybe I will soon. I've been having a hard time finding dresses - all the ones I see that are under $40 are either black, or have a dark flower pattern that I don't really like. I want something flowy and light-colored!

So, if anyone else can pass on some online maternity clothing links (with great return policies) that'd be great!

[dharmama]

Returing to the land of the living after 3 days with a stomach bug.

I haven't bought any clothes online but I have been doing REALLY well at Macy's (is that a national chain? not sure). I have hit a couple of really great sales there!

So...this morning I went to wear my favorite super-comfy overalls (non maternity)...I couldn't button them! As sad as I am about packing away my favorite overalls for a few months...I LOVE that my belly is getting so BIG!! Woo-hoo!

~Erin

[AnaNicole]

Has anyone here ever ordered from Pumpkin Maternity? They have a dress I absolutely heart--it has a big dot over the belly.

[curlygrrl]

Our new baby (regardless of gender) will be wearing his/her brother's hand-me-downs. We just can't afford to buy new clothes and thankfully, the both kids will be summer babies. Right now I'm just wondering how the heck I'm going to furnish my soon-to-be 4yo's spring/summer wardrobe.

I do hope things will be better financially later on so that the hand me down thing won't be permanent. I was the oldest, but I wore hand-me-downs from my neighbor, who is like nearly 5 years older than me. It was humiliating, talk about being out of style. Now, I can admire my mom's thrift (even though we had plenty of money for new clothes) but at the time it was humiliating.

[Modesto Doula]

Hello everyone!!
I havent posted here in ages, Im sorry for not being able to keep up with y'all! I have read a couple of threads, but I've missed so much!
I'll do a quick reintro, cause most of you wont remember me:
Im Brooke, a SAHM and occasional childbirth educator and doula. I have two little ones, kimber (just turned 4) and zack (20 mo).
Zack is currently down to nursing once a day (down from 20x a day 3 months ago) and I hope he will be completely weaned soon. I never planned to wean him this early, but I HATE nursing during this pregnancy. Last time I nursed through and tandemed for 6 mo before kimber weaned after her third birthday. This time its torture just getting through one nursing at a time.
Anyway...
We are planning a home birth with a midwife and several doulas, my mother, sisters and possibly my MIL... Its a large group. I am looking forward to the birth a whole lot.
The prospect of another baby, though is scary. This pregnancy wasnt planned like the other two, and I have to admit Im still not sure if Im ready for another one. Im sure its an issue I'll revisit in labor

As for clothing, if its a boy, he will have lots of stuff from DS, but we will still buy him a few things to only be his. There are a few things I won't pass down. my DD and DS both wore the same hospital picture and "coming home" outfit, and I plan to put it on this baby as well (even though he will be here already) for photos at least. When we decided to make it tradition we werent thinking about having more than three children, but now Im thinking that it could get confusing when I start forgetting who's baby photo is who
My DS still has lots of clothes that were his older sisters. I used to buy her jeans and basics in the boys department cause I liked the styles better, and I wasnt all about frills and lace. I still occasionally buy her stuff in the boys department (when she doesnt notice~)
We arent likely going to find out the sex of the baby. If we do it will be at the very end of pregnancy anyway, about 40 weeks. The only reason I can think of needing to do an US is to make sure the baby is not breech. My babies tend to breech themselves between 37 and 38 weeks, so a little reassurance that s/he flipped back would be a good thing.

I will visit as often as I can, but I have been super busy lately with my children and birth professionals group, so I cant guarantee I'll be here everyday...
Then again, we just got dsl, so you never know

[eilonwy]

Anyone else long-legged? I don't understand why they have to add insult to injury by making all the maternity pants highwaters. I guess I come from the whole grunge age when your pants dragged on the ground, but regardless of my reasons, I would love to find pants that consistently covered my ankles. I like not having to match my socks to my outfit.

: : : (can you tell I like that smilie? : )

It's funny, I was just wondering why *no one* makes maternity petites. Hello, I got pregnant, not five inches taller! I'm still short! I have never found a maternity dress (anywhere) that came to the right length. I've got a dress that I never managed to wear out of the house because I'm afraid to sew the rayon and it's literally 8 inches longer than I need it to be. (Okay, maybe it's only 7 inches. ) Meanwhile the only pants that don't drag on the floor are capris, which come very nicely to my ankles. I don't really like buying them, because they're various lengths and I hate trying stuff on in the store to see how they'll fit, but I have only owned one pair of capri's that were too short for me to wear as regular pants (they were still too long to be capri's, though).

My first reaction was: If plus size clothing are this bothersome, then how offensive are plus size people? If the 'fat people' clothes have to be seperate from the maternity clothes (read: YOU) how far away do overweight people have to be, for your comfort?

I think you missed part of my post... I *am* a fat person. It's not me I'm worried about. I've seen many posts here and heard from many women and girls IRL who've had eating disorders and serious body image issues during pregnancy and at other times, and I think that pregnancy is a particularly bad time for women to be overly concerned about their weight. That's all! To me, it sends a bad message that the maternity clothes and the women's sizes are right next to each other, because a lot of people are already depressed that they're gaining so much weight, and then to be shoved right next to women's sized clothing to get pants that fit... well, it gets people confused and upset. Yes, it's got more to do with the perversely thin women that the media like to portray as "ideal", but I don't think it would be a big deal to have the maternity clothing between, say, lingerie and misses instead of between little boy's and women's.

Also: Misses clothing here (US) is sizes 0-20 in most stores, with 14-20 being "overlapped" with women's sizes (14W-20W). The women's sizes have a different cut, generally a bigger waist/hip ratio. I'm well aware that the average (American) woman wears a size 16; I know that's why I have a really hard time finding clothing a lot of the time (because they're all gone when I get there). A women's 14 is not the same as a misses 14; a misses 14 is not the same as a petite 14, and a women's 14 petite is a different animal all together. A misses 14 bears some resemblance to a maternity 14, in some stores, but maternity sizes are totally different in most places.

Ana Nicole; I have a 6.5 year old niece who is very tall for her age and ridiculously thin (44 pounds soaking wet), and she occasionally will bring home some comments from school about not gaining too much weight, etc. Most of her eating issues began long before she started school, though, and had nothing to do with her size. Now that she's in school, I guess she feels like she should take pride in being thin or something, that it's a big positive thing. It's very creepy to see a child that age point to her ribs and say something about how they're fat rolls and they'll have to go.

[mattjule]

Back to the plus size/maternity issue one more time ...

I simply hate the confusion when I shop. I am generally with my dh and 2 yr old ds. I don't like spending hours finding clothes. Having to wade through the often ambiguous line between the plus size and maternity sections trying to figure out which is which is very frustrating. I don't think about my weight at all, I just want to find what I need and leave!

AnaNicole-I agree that she must definitely get her issues from school. Next time there is a class function, take a minute to look at the other girls in class. It could be that your daughter is noticing on her own that she is a little different from everyone else and assuming that is a bad thing. I still remember shaving my legs before my mom told me I could b/c everyone else was doing it and I felt like a freak (FYI, thinking back on it, I doubt you could even see my leg hair. It was blond and thin) Maybe showing her pictures of beautiful Indian women will help her body image-or explaining that she has hair on her neck because in India that is a sign of great beauty so the women with hair on their neck were the women who got married and had children and passed that sign of beauty to their daughters. Sometimes giving kids positive dialogue to tell themselves and others is a great tool.

The weight issues are scary. Something that helped me during my only weight issue faze (in junior high) was a picture my mom took of me riding a bike. My legs were so skinny that after that even I couldn't convince myself I was fat.

I have a sister (adopted) that has almost no body fat. My mom and both my other sisters are pretty overweight and I am average size. My little sister (who has a lot of emotional issues, grant you) would always say growing up that she needed to eat b/c she wanted a big, fat butt. She didn't like being skinny. Funny how we work our whole lives to be happy with what we were given in the first place...

[shelbean91]

I also have a problem with the plus size next to the maternity, but for different reasons, I think. I'm about an 18 prepreg (was 14 before dd, 16 before ds), so I should be in about an 18/20 for maternity, right? I can't find any maternity in that size. They stop at 16 (or XL). I should need a 1x, but at motherhood (which I hate anyway) they go right from xl to 3x. Nothing in the middle.

Anyone know where to get affordable plus size maternity? I'm still wearing sweats mostly and they are starting to not fit well enough.

[3girlsmommy]

Michelle- I think old navy has plus sized maternity and I recently saw an ad that they are having a sale.
HTH!

[Greaseball]

I am 5'1 and have worn pants that have a panel up to my breasts! And shirts that hang to my knees. Another plus for Old Navy, since I've been able to find pants with a 28 inseam.

[Smithie]

If I could just find a department store that HAS maternity clothes, I don't think I'd care if they were located in the men's restroom Some of the "flagship" stores located in downtown Seattle have maternity sections, but out here in the suburbs all I have is (gag) Motherhood and the Liz lange collection at Target. I got some jeans at a Gap outlet back East that were waaay too long and are now a bit too short thanks to my mom's effort to hem them. We are not a family of gifted seamstresses.

But I agree that having the pregnany clothes next to the "fat" clothes reinforces the ridiculous notion that pregnant people are fat, which makes about as much sense as saying that Midwesterners are fat or Baptists are fat or some-other-unrelated-category-of-people are fat.

[Greaseball]

It could be that maternity clothes are just in less demand, simliar to most of the fat clothes one would find in a mall, so both are located in less-populated sections of the mall or store.

[3girlsmommy]

Julie- I was thinking of you earlier when I had to roll up the bottoms of my pants so they wouldn't get all wet. I was at the YMCA pool w/ my oldest for lessons and they were dragging in the puddles on deck. Most of my maternity pants are a little on the long side and I'm 5'6". Maybe I could give you a little of the length on my pants!!