DD is 20 months and over the past month or so a particular behaviour has been escalating. For example, I would ask her if she wanted to wear a dress or trousers today. She would say 'dwess' and I'd go to get it and help her put it on, but as soon as she saw it she would say 'twowsees'. Okay, I get the trousers out. But then it's dwess again and then twowsees until she's in a heap and screaming and sobbing on the floor.
I started to institute the rule that she may only change her mind twice and then I'm going with the final decision. Unfortunately she doesn't seem to understand that one yet. I do warn her - "This is your last decision. No more changing your mind."
I also stopped giving her choices in many/most situations but it still doesn't help. E.g. at dinner time we try to encourage her to sit while we finish eating but if she really wants to she can get down and go play (though she needs help to get down from her high-chair). Yesterday she told me she was finished her dinner and wanted to get down. So I went to grab a cloth to wipe her off quickly before taking her out. As I was doing this she started off all by herself - "No, no down." "Down - sinished (finished)" "NO NO DOWN DIN DINS" "NO NO DIN DINS" and literally in the space of half a minute had worked herself into a red-faced screaming tantrum that took her nearly half an hour to calm down from.
Help! What can I do to help her work through this? I'm assuming it's just a normal developmental stage but yikes it's hard work. There also doesn't seem to be any distracting/redirecting that I can do when it gets to this point - she's quite capable of disagreeing with herself vehemently and concentratedly! Also how can I stay calm? For some reason this particular behaviour is really pushing my buttons and I find it really difficult to empathise with her, which for me is key to keeping my cool. If I can put myself in her shoes and imagine what's going through her crazy little head when she does stuff like this I have an easier time with it.
I started to institute the rule that she may only change her mind twice and then I'm going with the final decision. Unfortunately she doesn't seem to understand that one yet. I do warn her - "This is your last decision. No more changing your mind."
I also stopped giving her choices in many/most situations but it still doesn't help. E.g. at dinner time we try to encourage her to sit while we finish eating but if she really wants to she can get down and go play (though she needs help to get down from her high-chair). Yesterday she told me she was finished her dinner and wanted to get down. So I went to grab a cloth to wipe her off quickly before taking her out. As I was doing this she started off all by herself - "No, no down." "Down - sinished (finished)" "NO NO DOWN DIN DINS" "NO NO DIN DINS" and literally in the space of half a minute had worked herself into a red-faced screaming tantrum that took her nearly half an hour to calm down from.
Help! What can I do to help her work through this? I'm assuming it's just a normal developmental stage but yikes it's hard work. There also doesn't seem to be any distracting/redirecting that I can do when it gets to this point - she's quite capable of disagreeing with herself vehemently and concentratedly! Also how can I stay calm? For some reason this particular behaviour is really pushing my buttons and I find it really difficult to empathise with her, which for me is key to keeping my cool. If I can put myself in her shoes and imagine what's going through her crazy little head when she does stuff like this I have an easier time with it.
