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Advice for weaning 2 year old who LOVES his ninis - Page 2

post #21 of 32


Quote:
Originally Posted by Rogelito's Mommy View Post
This has included limiting his night time nursing to 3 times after I nurse him down (a HUGE decrease for him). He has usually nursed his 3 times by about 1am-1:30am. Then I make him wait until the sun comes up around 6am to nurse again (ninis are asleep while it is dark out). The first night went well. He stayed up the whole time but didn't really cry hard, and just whined on and off. The second night was about the same. Last night was pretty bad. He was screaming and didn't even want me to touch him. This lasted pretty much the whole time I refused to give him ninis (about 4 hours). At one point he was even throwing a full on fit, flailing his arms and legs and yelling at dh to get out of the bed. All very unheard of behavior for him.
I just want you to keep in mind that if it does not get better quickly (and, IMO, screaming & crying for 4 hours is a sign that something is very very wrong) then he might just not be ready to night wean. Another something to consider, though--- does he really understand this entire "three times during the night" thing? As an adult, it seems to me that it would be very confusing for a young child. Sure, you can keep track of how many times he nursed, but when he wakes up I doubt he can actually say to himself, "Hmmm, I think I nursed at 11, 12 & 1, I guess I can't nurse again). It might actually be easier to try to set up another symbol for when he can nurse. I'm not sure what it could be (could you set up a small lamp that is on when he can nurse that you then turn off when he can't nurse) but for a sleepy, incoherant child it probably seems pretty random.

I also wanted to encourage you to remember that nursing is not an all or nothing proposition. If you get him night weaned and then don't feel so ick about nursing--- keep nursing those other times

Good luck
post #22 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post
Another something to consider, though--- does he really understand this entire "three times during the night" thing? As an adult, it seems to me that it would be very confusing for a young child. Sure, you can keep track of how many times he nursed, but when he wakes up I doubt he can actually say to himself, "Hmmm, I think I nursed at 11, 12 & 1, I guess I can't nurse again). It might actually be easier to try to set up another symbol for when he can nurse. I'm not sure what it could be (could you set up a small lamp that is on when he can nurse that you then turn off when he can't nurse) but for a sleepy, incoherant child it probably seems pretty random.
Good luck
agree!
post #23 of 32
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post




I just want you to keep in mind that if it does not get better quickly (and, IMO, screaming & crying for 4 hours is a sign that something is very very wrong) then he might just not be ready to night wean. Another something to consider, though--- does he really understand this entire "three times during the night" thing? As an adult, it seems to me that it would be very confusing for a young child. Sure, you can keep track of how many times he nursed, but when he wakes up I doubt he can actually say to himself, "Hmmm, I think I nursed at 11, 12 & 1, I guess I can't nurse again). It might actually be easier to try to set up another symbol for when he can nurse. I'm not sure what it could be (could you set up a small lamp that is on when he can nurse that you then turn off when he can't nurse) but for a sleepy, incoherant child it probably seems pretty random.

I also wanted to encourage you to remember that nursing is not an all or nothing proposition. If you get him night weaned and then don't feel so ick about nursing--- keep nursing those other times

Good luck
I like the turning the light on/off idea...I will try that. I really just picked 3x a night because I didn't want to totally night wean him all at once. I always do the 3x in a row, so it really amounts to blocks of time. I nurse him down around 8:30pm and by about 1:30 he has nursed 3 more times so I say no for the second half of the night. I figured I would do that then take away the first half of the night.

I also feel 4 hours of crying is pretty bad, but him not being ready at this point is not an option. I am months past feeling done, so he is getting weaned one way or another. Maybe night weaning will help me stand the day a little longer, if so that is great, but I refuse to go on nursing him every 30-45 min at night and every hour all day. Also a lot of the time there are no tears, so I feel he is just making the noise to get me to give in. He also resorted to saying things like "knee, owee!" because he know he gets to nurse when he has a boo boo. So I think he knows what he is doing. He was also checking the window every so often and crying "No, sun! Ninis wake up!" because I kept telling him that when the sun came up the ninis would wake up and he could nurse. So, I know he understood that he could have it eventually.

I will try the lamp thing tonight though and see if that works better and try to think of more things like that. Thanks for the suggestion!
post #24 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rogelito's Mommy View Post
He also resorted to saying things like "knee, owee!" because he know he gets to nurse when he has a boo boo. So I think he knows what he is doing.
When I was weaning my son he would ask to nurse in the morning and I would say "not until naptime" and 5 minutes later he'd say "nap?". I'd just give him a hug and we'd move on. It's sad! It's just hard when you're done and they are not
post #25 of 32
RM, I really, really admire you for putting as much thought and love into this decision as you did. I nursed for almost 5 years straight and there were times it really was a labor of true love and not something I really wanted to continue.

I nightweaned very similarly to you although my DH did have a more active role for a few nights with DD. (DS weaned himself by really wanting and needing a solid block of sleep at night).

But I will always remember that second night of continuous sleep for hours and how I felt that morning. I felt like I could conquer the entire world!! It was amazing.

For daytime, I just distracted them like crazy. You want to nurse? Wow! Look at that airplane! Do you think we should chase it? Hey, there's the cat! Go get him! (The cats still haven't forgiven me.)

And although it's not the healthiest thing I could have done, sometimes I gave them M&Ms instead. You want mama milk or some M&Ms?

Somehow, I ended up with kids who love veggies and fruit so I was able to substitute better food there too but there were days when I would have given them anything to get off me!!!

And yet, nursing them both was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

So thank you also for the chance to look back at that and smile this afternoon.
post #26 of 32
I missed the post about the bad night last night.

Are you making sure he is absolutely physically exhausted before bed? The more tired that little body is, the more likely he'll go down for a longer period of time. What about a long walk/run before dinner or some serious park time tonight?

You had one bad night. Don't lose hope yet. It isn't an easy process to give up something he has done since entering this world, I'm sure.

And a big to you.
post #27 of 32
Just dropping in to say you're getting great advice and give you a
post #28 of 32
Mama.
post #29 of 32
Thread Starter 

Another Update and some BIG news!

Hi everyone,
First thank you all so much for your advice and support, it is making this so much easier. It has been a couple more nights and ds is doing awesome. He now wakes up, I tell him the ninis are asleep and will wake up for him to nurse when the sun comes up, and he lays down, cuddles up to my side and GOES TO SLEEP! This has happened now only 2 nights in a row with absolutely no crying, so I don't want to get too excited yet, but it does feel pretty awesome and I am SO proud of him. We have even started limiting during the day too, getting him to go at least 2-3 hours and each day he takes it better and better. He is more and more readily accepting it when I tell him he has to wait until we get home (to the park, ect....) and when I offer him distractions or food he is becomming more and more willing to take them. So, I am on a high right now, feeling really great about things. Hopefully we will keep up this trend.

Also, I just figured out why I have been hating nursing so much lately I think. I just found out that I am about 9 weeks pregnant with #2. We are really excited and it is nice to know that there was a bigger reason behind my feelings. It makes me feel a bit less guilty about doing some weaning with him.
post #30 of 32
Oh my goodness- congratulations, on all counts!
post #31 of 32
Congratulations!
post #32 of 32
Congratulations! I was kind of wondering if you were pregnant from reading your earlier posts. I started weaning my DD before I got pregnant (dayweaned first), and she dropped the night nursing on her own when I was about 12 weeks pg. I was really done, just like you, and I've found that I enjoy our relationship a lot more than I did in the last months before I decided to wean. She sleeps better, I sleep better, we snuggle and have a great time.
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