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Do you enjoy being a mama?

Poll Results: Do you enjoy being a mama?

 
  • 15% (71)
    I absolutely love it all the time
  • 55% (254)
    I love it most of the time, but I have my moments.
  • 17% (79)
    It depends on the day
  • 9% (44)
    I love my kids but i don't really enjoy mothering
  • 0% (4)
    I honestly don't enjoy mothering at all
  • 0% (3)
    other
455 Total Votes  
post #1 of 115
Thread Starter 
I was relaxing in front of the TV during my dd's nap and caught dr phil and the first few minutes of the view...

dr phil was "the reality of mothering" and talked about the challenges and hardships of being a mom.

on the view, they wer etalking about a happiness study and said the people who were most happy were those without kids

So i want to know, how do you really feel about mothering? the poll is anonymous so you can be honest...

I only have one daughter who is 9 months, so maybe my answer will change in the future, but i genuinely enjoy taking care of her. It is restrictive and frustrating at times, like when she won't sleep (which happens three times a day!), but i would gladly exchange some personal freedom for the joys of being a mama.

what about you?
post #2 of 115
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I think at the end of the day or end of my life so to speak, I'll be 100% happy about having been a mom. No regrets.
post #3 of 115
I love it all the time and wouldn't change a thing. Even when they are driving me crazy I love it. I think tv is a joke and they just go for the things that bring in ratings
post #4 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedaisy View Post
the poll is anonymous so you can be honest...
Is the poll missing or are we skipping over reading the names .

Motherhood is hard. Much harder than I would have ever thought. But I would not change anything nor do I wish I hadn't had K. Of course knowing and living it makes me really wonder if I want to have another.

Actually for me, our marriage since having K is the one thing I would definitely change. Once again, wouldn't take K out of it. Being together for so long before having a child poses its own problems.
post #5 of 115
most days, yes.
post #6 of 115
I picked "love it all the time" but that wasn't true when DS was younger. I was quite exhausted a lot when he was a baby and there were days I didn't love it at all.
post #7 of 115

Voted Other

I voted other because I'd say that I love having a family, not necessarily my role as a mom.

Maybe the distinction is irrelevant. I don't know. But I really enjoy us being a family... DH's relationship with the kids, and the kids' relationships with each other, and my relationship with DH, as well as my maternal relationship with the kids. It all contributes to my being happy with my life.
post #8 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenOfTheMeadow View Post
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I think at the end of the day or end of my life so to speak, I'll be 100% happy about having been a mom. No regrets.
This.

As far as the poll goes, I'm hovering between "I love it most of the time, but I have my moments." and "It depends on the day."
post #9 of 115
I love it most of the time but I have my moments is what I chose, but it's actually a bit more complex.

I love it and I would never go back. BUT I did have to learn that I love it when I am also being me, and part of being me is having a career of some kind and having some down time. And sometimes that means a DVD popped in or whatever.

In other words, I love being a "real" mom and not a great mom.

Also I do find that when I'm at work it's a little harder to be completely happy there because a piece of me is missing being with my son, even though I know if I were home full time a larger piece of me would be freaking out. So one could argue my overall happiness has gone down some.

Mostly I think women are unhappy as mothers because our society has some unrealistic expectations for how our families are structured and what we are supposed to provide.
post #10 of 115
i voted that i have my moments...
who doesn't?
and really, does *anyone* walk around blissfully loving what they are doing in life 100% of the time? like, without drugs or something?!
i adore my children, and i feel like it's my calling to raise them and nurture them, that they chose me and my dh to come to before they were born. i take profound delight watching first steps and listening to their thoughts and laughing with them...
doesn't mean i'm not also profoundly grateful to have a minute to myself to regroup, relax, and catch my breath.
it's an astoundingly challenging job, motherhood, but it's the most rewarding journey i've ever been in on in my life.
post #11 of 115
I love my kids. I find motherhood so absolutely, unimaginably, wonderful and hell on earth. I find being 100% responsible for another life to be soul/life draining but at the same time to be soul/life rewarding. I would never give it up. But I wish I could have the love w/o the worry, guilt, anxiety.
post #12 of 115
I voted I love being a mommy all the time. There have been times when I haven't exactly liked my kids but I have never regreted having them. Not Erica who is bipolar nor Dylan who was born just when we were thinking that we were nearing the end of parenting. It's been fun, frustrating, entertaining rollercoaster of a ride and I'm very glad that I didn't miss it.
post #13 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by sewchris2642 View Post
I voted I love being a mommy all the time. There have been times when I haven't exactly liked my kids but I have never regreted having them.
The problem with polls like this is that everyone answers them from a different angle. I don't always like being a mom - but I've never, ever regretted having my kids.
post #14 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
The problem with polls like this is that everyone answers them from a different angle. I don't always like being a mom - but I've never, ever regretted having my kids.


I love being a mom most of the time, but I have moments when I really miss my child-free days (6am on a Sat morning is frequently one!). But I wouldn't trade having DS for anything.
post #15 of 115
I said it depends on the day. I've got anxiety issues, and I'm okay when DS is okay, but some days I really just feel like shutting down. bleh.
post #16 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Erin* View Post
i voted that i have my moments...
who doesn't?
and really, does *anyone* walk around blissfully loving what they are doing in life 100% of the time? like, without drugs or something?!
i adore my children, and i feel like it's my calling to raise them and nurture them, that they chose me and my dh to come to before they were born. i take profound delight watching first steps and listening to their thoughts and laughing with them...
doesn't mean i'm not also profoundly grateful to have a minute to myself to regroup, relax, and catch my breath.
it's an astoundingly challenging job, motherhood, but it's the most rewarding journey i've ever been in on in my life.
This.
post #17 of 115
When in the throws of new motherhood or with young kids, I would imagine saying I was happier without kids.

Not that what the children bring to my life during the most dependant and draining stages aren't the most magical. I actually believe they are!

But, with most of life, what is the best reward is the most work. A tiny defensless being is adorable, cuddly, innocent and sweet but.....also a ton of work.

I say that the majority of the time I enjoy them in some aspect. But, there are days where if there was a return to sender sticker I would place it on their heads and mail them off.

However, as others have said, I have NEVER regretted having them. Never. And, I don't think my life cycle would have been complete without them. I NEEDED them to grow and there are growing pains, but I like the journey of motherhood. I love my children and I will hope to love the blessings they will bring to the world and their families and mine in the future.

I think what drains happiness is that our society is not built around families and that mothers are basically shut off from the world to live in a hamster bubble of lonliness. That isn't how most of the world works, but America is particularly good at downgrading motherhood to slave labor in lonliness and unappreciated and "that she should be happy to be staying at home". Reality is that we don't stop being women with passion and intelligence. But if we head for the workforce we get all the other stereotypes. There is no winning as women.

So I would say that most times I am unhappy are the days/weeks/months without any outside support, feeling downtrodden and useless. Not my kids doing it to me, but the fact that the rest of the world wants me to tread water for hours with a smile on my face when they could send me a life vest and call it a day.

That is when I have a bad day!
post #18 of 115
My DD is only 26.5 months but I have to say that I absolutely adore being a mama.

I was a nanny and preschool teacher for years and years and years. And after so long raising and educating other people's children, its such a joy to have one of my own. Especially since she was such a long time coming.

Do I have rough days? Absolutely.

But that never ever changes how much I love (really and truly) mothering her.
post #19 of 115
I love, LOVE being a mom (I'm a Disney movie freak, I listen to kids music in the car & I desperately want a tricked out van) - but holy wow it is the most awesome, exhausting, fustrating, mindbending, challenging, amazing job ever all at once all of the time. Sometimes I scream in fustration and 5 minutes later am a pile of goo in my toddler's arms. Sometimes I'm desperate for a babysitter only to use my time thinking about my kid.

I have to say that I was a much better mother before I had kids, if you know what I mean I was also a preschool teacher & thought I'd be pretty well prepared for having my own little person. I read all the books & knew all the rules. Apparently that whole "going home to a quiet house & having a nice glass of wine" relaxed me a lot more than I ever knew!

I don't think that TV program is a joke, either. I think that it's absolutely ok to not enjoy being a mom. It's completely draining, and I completely respect & validate any woman who feels that way. I've felt that way several times & I've only had one kid for 3 years
post #20 of 115
i absolutely love, love, love being a mother. my dd is 7 now and i miss the child everyday as i see her grow up. however i do have moments when i need a break from her.

however i will say i am happier as a mom rather than not a mom. being a mom profoundly changed my life and changed me completely. i think i have a 'deeper' way of living. mothering brings out the best in me - rahter than the worst. i have had a LOT of stress after being a mother - and it was my baby who kept me sane.

with all my identities - as an individual, student, dd, coparent.... i am more a mother than anything else.

nothing has brought me more joy than watching my little girl grow up.
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