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Do you enjoy being a mama? - Page 6

Poll Results: Do you enjoy being a mama?

 
  • 15% (71)
    I absolutely love it all the time
  • 55% (254)
    I love it most of the time, but I have my moments.
  • 17% (79)
    It depends on the day
  • 9% (44)
    I love my kids but i don't really enjoy mothering
  • 0% (4)
    I honestly don't enjoy mothering at all
  • 0% (3)
    other
455 Total Votes  
post #101 of 115
It depends on the day...it can be really hard, but I think ultimately I'll look back on my life and be glad that I was a mother above all else.
post #102 of 115
I love being a mama. I do have my "moments" but even when I have bad days I love it more than anything else.
post #103 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoestoShow View Post
I wouldn't do it again if I could do it over. The birth of my son completely turned my identity upside down, inside out, and then tore it apart ---- along with my body. I've had so many complications. I've seen doctors, physical therapists, chiropractors, mental health therapists, and so on. I'm tired all the time. I don't ever have five minutes to recharge, and I'm running on fumes. Being a mother for me has been a miserable experience. I can't say there's one single thing about it that I full-heartedly enjoy.

If I had known about what happened to me during his birth, that we'd fail at breastfeeding and I'd be ostracized and criticized for this failure by others, that he'd have extreme colic for nearly 10 weeks, and that there'd nothing at all of myself from my pre-motherhood days ahead of time, I really truly wouldn't have gone through with it.

Will this change someday? Who knows? In order for that to happen, the physical pain would need to end, my body would need to freaking recover, and, honestly, something would have to happen to show me exactly why this has been worth it.


I might have missed it, but I don't see if you said how old your kiddo was.

Man, a couple of years ago I could have AND would have written your post.
My son was an awful sleeper until he was 2.5. 2.5!!! NEVER, ever slept through the night...I require at least 9 hrs of sleep to feel just below normal. Lol.
When I was on maternity leave he only slept for two hours straight at any given time. Plus, I had some major complications that left me anemic for a very long time. Those complications kept me from breastfeeding and, I too, felt failure. ::sad::
He was just not a happy baby. I had seriously thought I brought a soul into this world that just didn't want to be here.
I craved time alone, didn't want to do any of the mother things, there were times I could care less that every milestone was a miracle. I had a hard time admitting that being a mother was not what I envisioned.

Then when my ex tried to take him away from me something fierce woke up and I had a major paradigm shift, but if that hadn't happened I'm not sure where me and the kiddo would stand.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I fell yer pain and that I hope it changes for you.
Looking back, I think I would have missed out on some real miracles had my mindset not changed.

I wish you peace on your journey with your kiddo and that you guys find the groove that works for you both.
post #104 of 115
I think it's really hard to generalize.

I said I love it, but I have my moments, which is true now. If I'd voted in this poll when my babe was just a few months old, and I wasn't sleeping, and he wasn't sleeping, and nursing hurt...well, my answer would probably have been different!
post #105 of 115
I love it and I strongly dislike it all at the same time.
My DD is 27 months and I'm just feeling a need to escape. I don't want to play blocks, draw with chalk, pick and wipe up crap off the floor, convince and explain all the time. I need breaks...I'm thinking of putting her in daycare a couple days a week.
When she was a baby, it was hard, but it was all kind of new and exciting as well. I was into all the new mommy things: "I'm breastfeeding, I'm co-sleeping, I'm babywearing, I'm cloth-diapering, WEEEEEEEEE, look at me!". I'm just not into it anymore, I don't want to be 24/7 mommy, I want to be just me sometimes. I'm sure as she gets older it will be easier to do both....but then I will have another little one eventually. I'm kind of freaked out to have another baby honestly, but I really really want DD to have a sibling, and I think they will eventually be able to play together and that would help everyone.
To summarize: I love her, I think she's awesome and hilarious, I just need free time.
post #106 of 115
I have not read all the replies (there's a bunch!!) but I voted with the majority... that I love it most of the time but I have my moments. Who among us can TRULY say they don't?

For me, it's a matter of perspective. Due to many factors, some of them my fault and some of them not, I lost custody of my three oldest children when they were 6, 4, and 2. I have not seen my Mickie-Lamb since she was in diapers and she's about to turn 11. After I realized they were completely out of my reach (when x-dh moved them halfway across the country) I thought my life was completely without meaning. I fell into a less-than-healthy relationship and though part of me knew that, the majority of me didn't care. I just wanted my children. I had the experience of having children, feeling somewhat overwhelmed by motherhood, and then NOT having the children. It made me realize that I wanted my kids more than anything. This man told me he couldn't have any kids so that just made it worse.

(Obviously he was wrong.)

Now we have three together and I'd do anything to keep my children with me. That's not to say I don't have days where I realllllllly need some "ME" time, which I almost never get, but being a mom is who and what I am. I would not willingly go back to my pre-kid days (which was so long ago and so short-lived that I barely recall what being a childless adult was like). Sometimes it's hard for me to believe I'm done having kids now and just need to concentrate on raising the ones I've got. I'd love so much to be with all my kids, though honestly I don't know how I'd cope with six children under one roof.

I don't regret a single one of my children. They are my reason for being.
post #107 of 115
I love it all the time, but sometimes, I don't like it......
Challanges come every single day and I only have 1 and she is only 15 months old. I want to have more children and wonder how it all plays out and how in the world I will have enough energy.
post #108 of 115
This is a wonderful discussion and I'm really enjoying reading all the responses.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thisbirdwillfly View Post
I'm not sure the poll numbers would be so different. I know a lot empty nesters who are very disappointed with the amount of time their children want to spend with them, how little input they have with their grandchildren and so on. The older people I know who did not have children tend to have more money and are a lot better at entertaining themselves on holidays and so on.

I think about that even here sometimes. Yes, it's wonderful to be in the all consuming years with your partner and children but for most of us that means that the people outside of our little bubble, including our parents, are getting a lot less attention. We'll be the ones on the outside looking in. I think I'm fairly well prepared for it but I'm sure it's got to hurt a bit from time to time.



I think this is very well said. My kid is nearly grown now but the continualy fight against the isolation and the feeling of not quite living up to what I thought was the ideal really wore me down over time.
I think about this a lot these days. My daughter is 14, a freshman in high school and I've been imagining how I'm going to respond when she leaves home, possibly in only 4 years! It just boggles my mind.

I've been contemplating my relationship with my mom lately, too, contemplating what I can do differently with my daughter so that I'm still friendly with her when she's an adult. Same with my son. Some of how I parent my kids now is with an eye on how I hope they will relate to me when they're adults.

And I'm trying to bear in mind that my children are supposed to move out and create their own lives, and it's, in fact, a sign I've done a good job as a mom. It's normal, anyway, so I'm trying to get used to the idea.
post #109 of 115
Quote:
And I'm trying to bear in mind that my children are supposed to move out and create their own lives, and it's, in fact, a sign I've done a good job as a mom. It's normal, anyway, so I'm trying to get used to the idea.
Same here. Somedays it is enough and I truly believe it. Other days are hard. My son is in his Senior year and so this our year of lasts. As much as I know I'm going to miss him, I wonder if next year will be easier? He'll be having this whole year of fantastic "firsts" at college and I cannot wait for him to experience it.

At the same time, I find myself with a lump in my thoat and tears in my eyes more often that I expected I would. Sometimes my heart and arms ache with an intensity unmatched since before he was born.
post #110 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thisbirdwillfly View Post
Same here. Somedays it is enough and I truly believe it. Other days are hard. My son is in his Senior year and so this our year of lasts. As much as I know I'm going to miss him, I wonder if next year will be easier? He'll be having this whole year of fantastic "firsts" at college and I cannot wait for him to experience it.

At the same time, I find myself with a lump in my thoat and tears in my eyes more often that I expected I would. Sometimes my heart and arms ache with an intensity unmatched since before he was born.

DS1 is in 11th grade - I think that's a junior in the US system? - and I'm finding some of that creeping up on me, too. I think it would be even stronger if I didn't have the other three...
post #111 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeteaa View Post
I love my kids. I find motherhood so absolutely, unimaginably, wonderful and hell on earth. I find being 100% responsible for another life to be soul/life draining but at the same time to be soul/life rewarding. I would never give it up. But I wish I could have the love w/o the worry, guilt, anxiety.
: perfectly said.
post #112 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by rockycrop View Post
I love it and I strongly dislike it all at the same time.
My DD is 27 months and I'm just feeling a need to escape. I don't want to play blocks, draw with chalk, pick and wipe up crap off the floor, convince and explain all the time. I need breaks...I'm thinking of putting her in daycare a couple days a week.
When she was a baby, it was hard, but it was all kind of new and exciting as well. I was into all the new mommy things: "I'm breastfeeding, I'm co-sleeping, I'm babywearing, I'm cloth-diapering, WEEEEEEEEE, look at me!". I'm just not into it anymore, I don't want to be 24/7 mommy, I want to be just me sometimes. I'm sure as she gets older it will be easier to do both....but then I will have another little one eventually. I'm kind of freaked out to have another baby honestly, but I really really want DD to have a sibling, and I think they will eventually be able to play together and that would help everyone.
To summarize: I love her, I think she's awesome and hilarious, I just need free time.
This, totally. I've been thinking about this thread lately and trying to figure out what is wrong with me that I don't enjoy mothering all the time. And I guess your post really sums it up for me! Sometimes I just want to be me, maybe be selfish. I am SUCH a better mother when I have time to myself. My kids don't annoy me as much, I have much better patience and then I DO enjoy mothering. But I just can't really say I enjoy it ALL the time.
post #113 of 115
I found it difficult in the beginning....I didn't really know many other moms and to be honest, didn't know what I was doing in general :s There were a few days where I was ready to lose it but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Today, my little monkey is 2 and I love her more and more every day. And seeing how much I've grown in the last 2 years is amazing and I am so excited to meet my new little one.

There are still some frustrating times that I want to pull my hair out, but I really think that's 'par for the course' and that will happen with anything you do in life. I have always wanted to be a mother and am incredibly happy....I wouldn't change it for anything! I have made wonderful friends and found some hobbies that I enjoy that allow me to show creativity etc....I find ways to challenge myself and better myself as a wife and mother. I think that is important.
post #114 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by journeymom View Post
This is a wonderful discussion and I'm really enjoying reading all the responses.



I think about this a lot these days. My daughter is 14, a freshman in high school and I've been imagining how I'm going to respond when she leaves home, possibly in only 4 years! It just boggles my mind.

I've been contemplating my relationship with my mom lately, too, contemplating what I can do differently with my daughter so that I'm still friendly with her when she's an adult. Same with my son. Some of how I parent my kids now is with an eye on how I hope they will relate to me when they're adults.

And I'm trying to bear in mind that my children are supposed to move out and create their own lives, and it's, in fact, a sign I've done a good job as a mom. It's normal, anyway, so I'm trying to get used to the idea.
I don't know if has a bearing on my vote or not but even when I was pregnant with Joy, I knew that my goal as a mom was to help her become an adult and stand on her own. I've always had that long term goal in mind even in the midst of sleepless night, mastitis, clogged milk ducts, Erica's melt downs, being pregnant at age 45, etc.
post #115 of 115
That has been my goal as well. But I do think the fact that my first child to leave is also my last child is tough. There is no easing into it. Also, I've been surprised at the intensity of my feelings, now that this long wished for goal is nearly upon us.

It's just another step in mothering that has been more intense and complex than I anticipated.
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