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Do you enjoy being a mama? - Page 2

Poll Results: Do you enjoy being a mama?

 
  • 15% (71)
    I absolutely love it all the time
  • 55% (254)
    I love it most of the time, but I have my moments.
  • 17% (79)
    It depends on the day
  • 9% (44)
    I love my kids but i don't really enjoy mothering
  • 0% (4)
    I honestly don't enjoy mothering at all
  • 0% (3)
    other
455 Total Votes  
post #21 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemoon View Post
I think what drains happiness is that our society is not built around families and that mothers are basically shut off from the world to live in a hamster bubble of lonliness. That isn't how most of the world works, but America is particularly good at downgrading motherhood to slave labor in lonliness and unappreciated and "that she should be happy to be staying at home".
I totally agree with that. I love being a mother to my kids, but I don't enjoy the isolation it sometimes brings. The respect I worked hard to earn as a professional in my field before I had kids I am allowed to take pride in, and I feel I am not taken seriously anymore. This is probably something that will last until the kids are much older. My primary responsibility is, indeed, to my kids, but that fact should not have to mean that I am unable to participate in other activities. I was very politically active before I became a mom, and have found my activism to be pretty limited to birth rights, lactivism etc now.

That said, I do think being a mom is wonderful! I enjoy mothering enormously, it's just the labels that society sometimes sticks on you that are annoying.
post #22 of 115
The study that they were talking about was done a couple of years ago, I think. They had people wear beepers (both moms and non-moms). Every so often, the beeper would go off, and the person would have to answer a series of questions, including how happy they were right at that moment. Overall, non-parents were more likely to report being happier in the moment than were parents. In a way, I don't find this surprising at all. Parents are more likely to have to deal with fussy, irrational, diaper-wearing, stress-producing people than are non-parents :-). In the moment, this can be incredibly challenging.

The study did not look at people's overall satisfaction with their life. It did not ask about whether or not having children is worth the additional effort and discomfort involved. Parenting can be incredibly stressful, boring, and just plain hard on a minute to minute basis. It's also the most amazing thing in the world. I wouldn't change it for anything.
post #23 of 115
I love love love being a mother, but I don't enjoy being "on duty" all the time. There are definitely times when I want a break!
post #24 of 115
I voted "..most of the time, but I have my moments" - who doesn't??!!

Ds has taught me so very much, and I honestly LOVE being his Mom. Never, ever have I regretted having him. Sure, he's a LOT of work. He's Aspergers and has always been very spirited and emotional - even now I don't know what mood he'll be in when I pick him up from school. Could be the sweetest, happiest kid on earth, or he could melt down and sob because his pencil broke in half. But that's who he is, he's my child and I do believe he was given to me for a reason - I'm able to be a wonderful parent to him, I'm able to be what he needs.

Is it hard? Sometimes, sure. But in the end, the reward is so very worth the effort. When he gives me that rare hug and says "I love you bigger than space" - you can bet it's worth it!!

I'm not sure I can handle more children, so ds may be our only. But yes, I do very much enjoy being his Mama.
post #25 of 115
No regrets and my son is the light of my life.

That said, there are days when my enjoyment level is pretty low. When I am drained and taxed and feel like my patience is going to snap at any given moment.

My husband and I work opposite shifts, so I'm home alone a lot.
post #26 of 115
Having not intentionally become pregnant, I had been pretty ambivilent(sp?) about mothering and being a mother in general before DD was born. As soon as she was born it was like a light was switched in my head and I knew what the true focus of my life was going to be.

I love being a mother and like everyone here I wouldn't trade it for anything. I find it hard to believe that someone loves every single second of all that being a mother means though. I'm talking about the waking up at 1am because LO wants to play and is rolling around next to you in bed wide awake (something I enjoyed last night) or when you are sick and LO is sick and you still have to drag yourself around to care for LO...That type of stuff I am not such a fan of but I can handle it because the majority of the time is just a joy to watch DD grow and learn something new every day.
post #27 of 115

I love it most of the time, but I have my moments.

i love being a mummy and love my little monsters although there are days when i feel tearing my hair out lol
post #28 of 115
I love being a mom but I do have my moments. Two puking kids while trying to ward off morning sickness isn't one of my favourite parts of motherhood. It also took me a while to adjust and with my first I looked forward to working outside the home when she was 2 just so I could have a break. That opened my eyes to how much I really wanted to be home with her and what a blessing it is that I'm able to be at home with my children.
post #29 of 115
I voted "love it all the time," but that's how I feel today!

I have 1 child, enough financial resources (wouldn't say wealthy, maybe, but money/security is not a stressor); grandparents who help, a good school within walking distance, a safe neighbourhood, a solid relationship with a helpful spouse, no health/behavioural issues (beyond the usual), etc...

And it's STILL challenging at times. I must say, I started out parenting feeling very inadequate/clueless as a mother, because I hadn't found my own way yet; which turns out to be attachment parenting. Once I gave up the idea that I was supposed to punish, realized that it was okay to co-sleep and have my daughter wake through the night (thanks, Naomi Aldort!), etc. I started enjoying mothering a lot more. I'd be miserable if I tried to be a mainstream-type parent, because of all the pressures.

I don't mean to suggest that happiness depends on money and support, but I feel awfully lucky and do feel having enough of both has made life with dd much easier.
post #30 of 115
It depends on the day for me. My son is 8.5months, is a wonderful baby, but is moderate to high needs (he's happy, but requires constant playing with/attention). I love with all of myself, but on some days I get very overwhelmed and feel like I just can't do it.

He's also been very difficult lately b/c he's teaching himself to walk (not the usual cruising around and then taking independent steps, but by standing up in the middle of the floor and just going for it - he gets frustrated all the time) so he's been very challenging lately. I ALWAYS love him, but sometimes I wish I could give him back to his parents and love him from afar - then I realize that I am his parent and I can't do that .

I'm hoping it gets better as he gets older.
post #31 of 115
I love it most of the time but have my moments but my moments are not because of DD it is always something stupid like I have too many things to do or look for; the dogs are pissing me off or something like that. But being a mother is the most important thing to me in life and I can't imagine life without my wonderful child.
post #32 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
The problem with polls like this is that everyone answers them from a different angle. I don't always like being a mom - but I've never, ever regretted having my kids.
Yeah..because I love my daughter and being with her and doing things with/for her all of the time but I don't always love mothering itself because of my own failures and stuff..nothing to do with her as a person.
post #33 of 115

Love it most of the time but have my moments...

Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedaisy View Post
a happiness study and said the people who were most happy were those without kids
What measures were they using? I suppose not having kids (and probably not having a spouse!) make one's life a lot simpler - you have autonomy, privacy, more spending money, you can eat what you want, when you want, you don't have to clean up somebody else's messes or poopy bottom, nobody smears bananas on your pants right before you go to work, you can be very self-focused and gratify your own needs without having to consider anybody else's. If that's happiness, then yeah, childless people are probably happier.

But long-term, I obviously found that to be an impoverished measure for happiness, or a kind of happiness that one can get one's fill of. Going out for dinner has never made me so happy that I cried because my heart was so full of love for the food or the chef, sleeping in is nice and all, but looking at DS sleeping peacefully with his arm around his plush goose before I come to bed makes my heart swell more than waking up at 10 a.m. ever did, and the joy of watching him learn to draw, run, or help with making pancakes provides me with a deeper kind of happiness than if I did all of these activities solo.

Having said that, there are also the times when he's been crying, and I've been crying right along with him, times now when I wonder 'what were we thinking?' for deciding to have a second child. Making a baby is the 'easy' part. Being a parent -- biggest challenge a person can take on. It's hard to be mindful, to be patient when I am hungry/tired/just done for the day, when DS is schimpfing for no apparent reason, when he throws something I just asked him NOT to throw. As much as possible, I try to view parenting as a spiritual practice, one that asks me to find inner reserves of strength, patience, and creativity that I didn't know I had, to be present in the moment and really see my child as he is now and to try to meet his needs in a compassionate way.
post #34 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by kcparker View Post
What measures were they using? I suppose not having kids (and probably not having a spouse!) make one's life a lot simpler - you have autonomy, privacy, more spending money, you can eat what you want, when you want, you don't have to clean up somebody else's messes or poopy bottom, nobody smears bananas on your pants right before you go to work, you can be very self-focused and gratify your own needs without having to consider anybody else's. If that's happiness, then yeah, childless people are probably happier.

But long-term, I obviously found that to be an impoverished measure for happiness, or a kind of happiness that one can get one's fill of. Going out for dinner has never made me so happy that I cried because my heart was so full of love for the food or the chef, sleeping in is nice and all, but looking at DS sleeping peacefully with his arm around his plush goose before I come to bed makes my heart swell more than waking up at 10 a.m. ever did, and the joy of watching him learn to draw, run, or help with making pancakes provides me with a deeper kind of happiness than if I did all of these activities solo.
Beautifully said
post #35 of 115
I'm a most certainly "it depends on the day" kind of mom.
post #36 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by sewchris2642 View Post
I voted I love being a mommy all the time. There have been times when I haven't exactly liked my kids but I have never regreted having them. Not Erica who is bipolar nor Dylan who was born just when we were thinking that we were nearing the end of parenting. It's been fun, frustrating, entertaining rollercoaster of a ride and I'm very glad that I didn't miss it.
I agree with what Storm Bride said about the problem with polls being that people answer from different angles. I don't think that not regretting having kids = loving being a mother all the time. At all. So yeah, I guess the results of this poll don't really mean anything if people are answering from such different perspectives.
post #37 of 115
I love it all the time. I know I was going to be a mom from a young age, and I am so glad I am. I don't think I would be happy not being a mom, I think this is what makes me happiest. I grew up around kids my entire life, and nothing that Hunter has done is new to me. I know that parenting can be hard, but for me, it really is the easiest job I've ever done.
post #38 of 115
I love it all the time. Everything's not perfect all the time, but I still love being a mom, even when DD is throwing a tantrum or up sick. Not to sound like Katie Holmes, but it's just amazing and I do love it.
post #39 of 115
I voted I love it all the time. Because being a mother is what I am, not what I do. So it's not about whether I need down-time or whether I am at work and concentrated on my projects and DS is completely out of my thoughts. I still AM a mother. There have been examples, like having to care for a sick child while you are sick yourself, or having to deal with a tantruming child. But my understanding of the poll question is not "do you enjoy all the tasks related to mothering" but do you love being a mother. And I do, absolutely, all the time.
post #40 of 115
I put all the time but I'm not sure how to explain myself though …

I love being a mother! I am also a lot more than a mom ... Perhaps because I am happy and fulfilled in life in general I can truly enjoy mothering “all the time”.

That’s not to say it isn’t sometimes challenging but I can honestly say I love it, all of it. I even liked getting up through the night with them!

I remember an old Oprah episode on mothering/parenting. She polled her audience on whether or not they still would have children if they could go back and do it over (didn’t mean they didn’t love their children, just would have chosen a different path if they could do it over) … I think it was like 80% who said NO … I was shocked and saddened
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