I love having 4. They are all pretty closely spaced (the closest are 19 months apart, the farthest are 2y5mo.). I did get lucky with genders though, 2 boys followed by 2 girls. They are all so close and love each other so much that I just LOVE watching them interact. The fight too of course, but the good moments far outweigh the bad. Just last night the 6 year old insisted on putting his sisters (age 4 and 2) to bed. He snuggled up with them, held their hands and sang them lullabyes. The youngest wasn't satisfied until I came in to nurse her but the 4 year old happily went to sleep. Then I woke up this morning to the 8 year old complaining because his roommate slept in another room all night!.
I find that 3 was a harder dynamic. Too much competition or something. Just like when as a child I had 2 best friends, no matter what 2 of our 3 would pair off to play and that always left someone out. With 4 there is always someone left to play with. Even the 8 yo will happily play with the 2yo if the other two are involved in some sort of game. It works out great.
I also like how dh and I can split them. He can take 2 while I take the other 2. One for each hand
And 4 really doesn't seem like many. I take them everywhere except the pool (without help) on my own all the time. It isn't difficult at all.
I will say though that there is a certain kind of chaos that comes from having more kids. You just have to expect noise and mess. And laundry. Lots of laundry
But also, Four kids who light up MY face when they enter a room. Four versions of every experience excitedly relayed to me (all at once). Four giant goodnight hugs and kisses. I can't imagine how much poorer my life would be without any of them.
I also look ahead to the future. I am also one of four children. I have 3 older brothers and as the only girl I was always the outsider. My bros are also all close in age whereas I am 4 years younger than the youngest (7 years younger than the oldest). Being a bit younger and a different gender always made me the outsider, though as we got older the age difference didn't seem so big. My oldest brother had an adverse reaction to an antibiotic which destroyed his liver. As his health has deteriorated his siblings have really rallied around him. Having so many siblings has really helped as the financial burden of caring for someone who can no longer work (and doesn't receive enough benefits to even cover rent) is shared. Taking him to appointments falls to the siblings who live closest and there is always someone to help when necessary. If there were less of us it would definitely be more of a strain. Also, this would all be too much for my parents who have health concerns of their own. My dad is also in poor health. It is nice to know that there are four of us to pull together when my mom is left on her own one day (she is 11 years younger than my dad and he is in poor health currently).
I just feel that more is better! I love my family of four kids. I would totally have more if dh was on board as the ones I have fill my life with so much joy that it is hard to imagine NOT having another one to add to the love and chaos of our lives. And once you get used to the mess and noise (and did I mention the laundry?) it hardly matters if there is just a little more!