Supplementation options

[KangaTwo]

Put simply, MIL has effectively disintegrated my frozen stash. I had enough stored up at the beginning of the school year to get me through October. MIL, however, loves to feed - she was giving DS 20oz over the 6 hours I was at work. In comparison, he quite happily took two 5oz bottles from my mom during that same period while MIL was out of state for a week. I'm trying really hard to not harbor resentment towards MIL over my milk stash but I don't know how well I'm doing with that. Barely a month into the school year and I don't know that I have enough frozen milk to get through next week, and my output from the pump is slow going. I'm eating oatmeal, taking fenugreek and increasing my number of pumping sessions but I know it'll take a little while to take effect.

I had wanted to delay solids until self-feeding, but I feel like that option is dwindling. MIL is planning to get individual packets of formula for while DS is at her house, only for "when I need it" - which is totally a subjective decision for her. I really don't want him on formula, and I'm concerned if I allow her to give him solids she's going to be plugging full jars into him right away. MIL loves feeding.

Do I have any other options for supplementing besides formula? DS is 7 months old. If possible, I'd like to only supplement at MIL's house long enough to replenish my frozen stash.

[ewe+lamb]

OMG - is there no other option than your MIL, this is more about boundaries and your MIL respecting your breastfeeding choices.

Does she know how dangerous it is to over feed a child? I would seriously get some literature and lots of research. I would have a gentle but firm heart to heart with her to discuss this situation - find out how she feels about overweight children, obseity etc, and then bring this in gently, ask her to think about the size of a baby's stomach, I would also mention that if she can't control herself then you'll have to start looking for alternatives - even if it is more expensive than MIL - this is serious stuff.

If she loves to feed the baby it sounds to me that she also bored, and isn't thinking of things that she can do with baby, maybe structure out a day for her, insist on going for walks, she could take the pushchair or even learn to use a wrap, go to baby gym or music, start a mother/grandmother/baby/toddler group, go to the library for story time, go swimming there are lots of things she can do, maybe take HER to a LLL meeting which discusses nutrition or to a pro-breastfeeding dr who can talk about the dangers of overfeeding a child. You could also change the type of bottle you are giving, use a slower flow artificial nipple or a Medela soft cup - goodness I feel for you on this one inparticular but really you need to try to tell her that you appreciate you much she helps you etc but the over feeding has to stop.

To augment your supply you could ask for some domeridone for the timebeing but I'm not sure that it's the supply you need to augment although i appreciate the situation, it's getting the reins on MIL that is the urgency!

[KangaTwo]

I've talked with her. Since the week he spent with my mom, I haven't been taking more than 12oz at a time to MIL. She says she is really trying to hold him off before giving him anything, but we are wondering if she is misinterpreting every fuss as being hungry. Until a couple of days ago, she only had a playpen, and I'm sure he was getting bored. I've taken a walker over now and I'm hoping that will at least partially help that aspect. Then, we've also dealt with whooping cough, and at that time, he refused the bottle for a few days and she brought him up to me at work to nurse. I think I am going to ask if she is able to try that some more.. if she gave him one bottle mid morning and brought him to me at 12:30 when my class takes a rest, he really should be able to make it to 3:00 when I can leave. I work half a mile from MIL's house.

She says she doesn't want him to hate her because he was hungry, and that she just doesn't "think it's fair to make him go hungry." I told her the 20oz was also ridiculous. And yeah, like he's going to remember long term and like he would associate it with her and like he's any more likely to hate her for that than he is to hate me for going to work in the first place! I told her I couldn't see how he'd be fine on a smaller amount at one place but not at the other place, and she said my mom couldn't understand it either. My hypothesis is that he got so used to being fed way early on that he possibly started expecting it from MIL.

On the individual formula packets, she asks me "Do you want iron or no iron?" I said no iron, because he doesn't need it. She says she understands the desire to breastfeed as much as possible, but I don't think she understands that this is months and months of my hard work that my mind is equating with being flushed down the toilet. I've been storing up since March - DS was born in Feb - and it's all gone within a month's use, with me constantly adding to it.

DH doesn't see my problem with letting DS go on formula, and doesn't understand why it's making me feel like a failure. Neither of my older boys ever had any formula.

And it doesn't help that I'm PMS'ing tonight and the hormones are affecting my pumping output some more. I've got an ounce and a half between my mid-day pumping (which my body hasn't gotten used to having yet) and my usual late-night pumping. I've tried power pumping (10 min on, 10 off) and it's not helping yet.

[ewe+lamb]

Oh goodness I really feel for you in this situation - I think the idea of her bringing your ds to nurse at lunchtime is fantastic, really push for that to happen. It'll hopefully curb the 20oz - which I agree is ridiculous. I think your MIL is BORED, and doesn't know what else to do with the baby!!! What do you think? If everytime your baby makes a noise and she reads that sign as a hunger cue then she needs to get out more with the baby so she doesn't have that option around her. I would really try to stay away from the supplementation route if at all possible - it's a slippery slope especially where your MIL is concerned - over feeding on breastmilk is one thing, on formula it's completely different. it would probably be better that she feeds him on actual food - veggies and fruit - things we eat to loose weight, than to go down the supplementation route. I also think you need some support, try to talk to your dh to get him more on your side - easier said than done, try and surround yourself with other bfing mothers so that you can give yourself the boost you need, pumping and working and dealing with stressful situations is not at all easy and I admire your determination, you're doing a great job! Take care

[Eligracey]

Kellymom says the average breastfed baby will take 1 to 1.5 oz per hour they're away from mom, so 6 hours should be 6 or 9 oz in that time. Pretty much right on the money with what your mom fed him. At that age my DS was taking 12 oz in the 9 hours he was at daycare (with one jar of solids).

you said you wanted to wait on solids until self-feeding. At 7 months, my DS was happily feeding himself. Have you tried that? It's messy, takes a lot of time, keeps him occupied, and doesn't get that many calories into him---perfect for your MIL!

At that age, he would eat organic Baby Mum Mums, Happy Baby Organic Puffs (both of these are rice based meltaways that have very few calories), big wedges or spears of banana, avocado, soft pear, cooked apple, cooked potato, etc. Check out Baby Led Weaning by Gil Rapely (just google it) for more ideas. His idea is that babies can self-feed as early as 6 months if they're given foods that are appropriately soft, shaped and sized.

Good luck--and I'd be pissed if that was my MIL!! Does she have the idea that 7 month olds can't possibly be "satisfied" on breastmilk alone? Maybe that could be behind her over-feeding him.

[KangaTwo]

I was proud of MIL yesterday.. I had 8oz I could take to her yesterday (I had a little bit more in the freezer, but I was really hoping to get some good pumpings in this week to stretch out through next week). I told her she would need to split it between when she'd bring him to me to nurse and then between the lunch nursing and when I got off work, but I also had an avocado that I was willing for her to give him if needed.

She ended up calling me before lunch asking if she could go ahead and bring him up to nurse. He had taken one of the bags of milk and was still hungry, but it was close enough to our nursing date that she didn't want to give it to him. So she came up, I nursed him. He just wanted to be topped off so he could go to sleep. He was hungry again in the afternoon before I could get off work, but it was close enough to when I got off that I was able to get to him before he got too upset. So I was happy that she managed to space it out AND I still had an unused avocado when I picked him up

New problem - I'm suddenly not responding to my pump at all. It's a Pump in Style. I have milk, and I can manually express, but when I am plugged in, I don't get a single stream. Manual expression is VERY slow going for me, and I feel like a lot gets wasted because it drips all over my hands. Any ideas why I suddenly stopped responding? I did just finish AF - before AF I was still able to get 3-4oz at night after DS has gone to bed. Maybe I just need some more time for the hormone levels to stabilize?

A can of Next Step formula came in the mail today and I told DH to give it to his friend for his baby. DH said no, we can hold onto it until DS is 9 months I told him no, because I will have a milk stash built up again by then. Ugh, I hope.

For the self-feeding, I was looking to at least have him sitting up unassisted and not having tongue thrust. We don't have either. He's a lot better on his sitting, but not really unassisted yet. Still have tongue thrust, and I don't expect teeth for at least a few more months - DS1 had his first tooth at 10 months and DS2 had his at 12 months.

[lifeguard]

Do you look at a pic of ds & think about him when pumping? Maybe you're feeling extra stressed during pumping because of the current situation & that is translating to your body not responding? Try to do some deep breathing & relaxing exercises?

Ds has been eating solids since about 7 months. He met "most" of the blw indicators but if I had waited until teeth he would just barely be starting now (11 months) as he is just barely cutting teeth this week. He LOVES food & I cannot imagine waiting this long.

[KangaTwo]

I'm pretty relaxed when I'm pumping. I tend to read while I'm pumping and when I'm pumping at home, DS is usually nearby.

The main things I was looking at was the sitting and the tongue thrust - I just threw the teeth part out there to show why I'm not counting on teeth before starting solids! My original goal for starting solids was 8 months; I just don't feel 'ready' to take the plunge, although it looks like I will need to. I am really starting to look hard at partial weaning - letting him be on formula and solids during the day when I'm at work, and nothing but nursing at home.

ETA - Success! I was able to get 3oz by pumping my stronger side while nursing on my weaker side. Guess this is how we'll be doing most of our nursing sessions for a while! I am so grateful for this glimmer of hope.