My poor puppy passed away....should I get a new dog?

[prone_to_wander]

So this weekend, my dog was hit by a car and died. He was 2 years old.
He had run away from my husband, who found him a couple minutes after he had been hit.
We are devastated and miss him terribly.

I'm wondering if we should consider getting a new dog. I don't want to rush into anything. I thought he would be the dog that my children would grow up with and I'd still like them to be able to have a dog growing up. However, we obviously don't want to get one right away but I am pg and don't want to be training a puppy, and holding an infant. Should I wait a few years? My husband wants to wait until I'm on my mat leave, but infant and puppy sound like a huge mess. What do you guys think?

[Oubliette8]

I would probably wait. But it depends on you and your family. When my dog passed, I simply couldn't get a new dog for over a year. I tried to push myself to do it and tried a few rescues on a trial basis and the grief was just too strong still. It was only until I had worked through my grief that I could welcome another dog into my home. I know other families, however, that find it best to get a new dog right away- sometimes the day after the last dog passed away. I don't think it would work for me, but it does work for them. I did try it once, when I was a teenager, my ferret had passed away after a long battle with cancer. I was devastated, and my parents pushed me to get a new one with a week or two of his death- I of course, looked around, didn't find anything, until I saw this one little guy who was obviously sick, too young to be legally sold, and bite wounds from his cage mates. Needless to say, he wasn't staying there and came home with me. I have vivid memories of holding the little guy and just crying because he wasn't the ferret I had lost and never could be. Not quite the way I'd want to invite a new pet into my home.

Anyway, grief issues aside, I think you should think about timing as well. If you get the dog now, depending on breed, by the time your kids are school age and can really play with the dog, it will already be approaching old age. And thats just your oldest kid. Small dogs do tend to live longer, but they still tend to slow down with age. Say you get it now, by the time your first is 8, the dog will be 8, if you have another child 2 years apart, by the time that child is 8, the dog will be 10. Not that I don't think old dogs can be great pets, but if the main objective is to have a dog for the kids to grow up with, I'd get it a little later, so they can remember watching him grow up and will be able to roughhouse during his younger years, and will grow older and more sedentary as they approach their teen years when they are likely to have less time for the dog.

There's also something to be said for dogs raised with children- if you get the dog before the baby, it will settle in, and then you may have to readjust once the baby arrives. If you wait till you have kids, the expectations for the dog will be there upfront- you wont have to deal with a dog that wasnt socialized with kids, because the kids were there from the start.

Finally, what can YOU handle? I assume you would be the primary caregiver? I cant imagine having say, an adolescent dog and a 2 year old. that just sounds like a lot of unnecessary stress. Plus kids that young and dog must ALWAYS be supervised together, do you really want to be juggling a 2 legged toddler and a furry toddler at once? And with a baby in the house, will you have time or energy to properly train and social a puppy? If you don't maybe waiting until the kids are a little older would be a good idea.

Those are the thoughts that come to my mind, I'm sure other people have different perspective. My condolences on the loss of your dog, its tough to lose a pet.

[angie7]

I would def. wait.

[gealach]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

After my dog died, I had to wait. I wouldn't have been able to handle having a new dog in the house and it not being THE dog I really wanted by my side. KWIM? I wanted my dog back and didn't feel I could give a new pup the type of love and attention I thought he deserved because I would be wishing he was the dog I was missing so much. So, we waited about 16 months and still wondered if we were truly ready. I think we were. I love our new guy in a completely different way and can appreciate him for his own personality.

Add the emotional feelings to the shock of going from a well-trained, well-behaved member of the family to a new and rambunctious canine and it would have just been too much at the time.

However, I've known other families that feel having a new dog very soon around helps them to recover from the loss of their pet.

[Lisalee2]

I'm so sorry

If it were me, I would have to wait. Also, you're about to have your hands full with the baby. I would think that the grief of losing your puppy, along with the stress of having a new baby would be too much.

[greenmagick]

I think it would be easier to wait, but if you are up for some extra work, and really want to do it, it can be done. If you are really wanting a dog, it would probably be easier to get it settle prebaby than after the baby is born (until they are older anyways).

I dont think I would do a puppy though....they are like newborms themselves, but maybe an adolescent or full grown dog that is already a bit settled would work.

[Noelle C.]

Unless you're an expert handler (and you aren't, otherwise you wouldn't be here asking this), then wait. It'll be too much work to get a dog trained in a short time and then to deal with regressing when the new baby comes, so having to retrain while dealing with a newborn.

[prone_to_wander]

Thanks everyone. I think we will wait, even if it means a couple of years.

Today we bought a shrub and planted it where he used to go for walks, in his memory and now we'll take walks together to go and water it.

[SubliminalDarkness]

I'd also say wait. But did want to point out that you don't have to get a puppy. You could always get an adult dog(at some point) that already has training so it's not as difficult a transition.

[SunShineSally]

I had to wait over 2 years when my pup passed but he was the dog I had gotten when I was 3 years old and I was 21 when he passed on. I know a couple people who get dogs the week the other one passes. They love those dogs with all their heats but they know that they are not replaceing the other dog and what not. For me I cannot do that I can't even vacuum for like a week everyone is different I know that for me when I was able to get another animal I had to have that whole heart feeling that my pup wanted me to love and care for another animal the way I did for him and that he wanted my son to know the love of an animal and know how to love an animal. I still am not able to have a dog and it has been 5 years I now have my crazy kitty's!

I am so sorry you lost your little guy. It is all in the family if you should bring in another dog or not.