A night away from babe

[lil_miss_understood]

I'm bfing 2- a 2 yo and a 4 mo. Wondering when to pump for a night/evening away from them. I feel like I'm constantly bfing either one or the other- can't seem to get the swing of bfing both at the same time.
Is it ever okay to "steal" the bigger ones milk for the LO? I was thinking I might pump from the bigger one's "side" at night when he might not notice... Thoughts?
Also, we went out yesterday evening to "try" DS3 on a bottle (although he was bottle fed breastmilk for the first month and a half or so) and he didn't seem to take it very well... Any suggestions? Is it terrible for me to go away for what will be a longer period of time (we were gone for 3 hours) knowing he wouldn't take the bottle last night?

[darkearth]

Originally Posted by JacquelineR

Is it terrible for me to go away for what will be a longer period of time (we were gone for 3 hours) knowing he wouldn't take the bottle last night?

Yes. You need to know the baby can be fed, before you make arrangements to go out. Have you tried cups or spoons?

[lil_miss_understood]

Originally Posted by darkearth

Have you tried cups or spoons?

No, we haven't and MIL wouldn't feed him like that- she refused to use even the special needs nurser when that was how he was fed.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get him to take a bottle? He ate about half (2.5oz) of what I pumped for him last night (5oz) but I have no idea what the issue was with the bottle- if he's just forgot how to use it or what. Should I just keep trying him with it?

[FullMetalMom]

[QUOTE=JacquelineR;14433404]No, we haven't and MIL wouldn't feed him like that- she refused to use even the special needs nurser when that was how he was fed.QUOTE]

And you are leaving your kids with her why?

[lil_miss_understood]

Originally Posted by FullMetalMom

Originally Posted by JacquelineR

No, we haven't and MIL wouldn't feed him like that- she refused to use even the special needs nurser when that was how he was fed.

And you are leaving your kids with her why?

It's not like she was left alone with him with a SNS. She'd just hand him off to myself or DH to feed and would say she didn't want to feed him bc she "didn't know how it worked" (even after being told/shown how it worked).

[lil_miss_understood]

It should be noted that last night was a "trial" just in case he wouldn't take the bottle, and I actually wasn't anticipating any problems with it considering he ate from the SNS for about 2 months.

[FireWithin]

JR - a sane mother is needed to have healthy children. Sweetie, you know that I know you need a break. I have noticed that you are trying your best to relax a bit and huge kudos to you. You have had the crappiest year and you just haven't had a break. You do everything for everyone, even to people who shouldn't receive your kindness and generosity.

How long are you planning on going out?

I don't have suggestions for getting him to take the bottle. I'm sorry. Neither one of my kids were willing.

I would fill him up before you leave, and come back and nurse him for the rest of the night (like you usually do.).

You need to take care of yourself and you need to give your husband this chance to take care of you. Maybe he will realize how much fun it is and will fight for this time off from work.

try your best to enjoy yourself and report back to the people who love you.

[tanyalynn]

Best tips I heard of/saw work for getting a LO to take a bottle:

--really, really warm milk, on the verge of any normal parent thinking "this is way too hot!"
--walking and jiggling at the same time as LO is getting the bottle
--sometimes LO facing away from the person with the bottle (while walking and jiggling)
--we didn't have problems with which bottle/nipple to start with, but once DS started with one, he wasn't willing to switch (which was rough, it was apparently a kind not sold everywhere and when we needed more, we had to go to at least 3 stores? maybe 4 to find more)

DS was probably 6 mos (he was in daycare then, I was working PT, I was away for about 5 hours) when he stopped taking a bottle at all, he just preferred directly from me, and he didn't want solids til more than a month later. 4mos is different, but 3 hrs is different too, and DD sometimes had long stretches between meals, she was somewhat erratic (confusing for me, first-time mom).

You really do need to figure out a way to have some time with just DH, you two have a LOT of stresses, you need time to stop and appreciate each other, remember the reasons you love him. I have had to focus on that a few times with the stuff DH and I have been through. I'm really impressed you're making the effort, I was a wreck when DS was 4mo.

And yeah, I'd pump a bit that comes from the older LO's "share," though I found when pumping at work that I could pump up to 2 ounces a day and have it not seem to affect DS's hunger--seemed like 2oz was enough that my body could just make more that day, and he didn't notice any shortfall--5oz is too much! first day he didn't take a bottle while I was at work, but I _did_ pump at work, not knowing he'd be extra hungry that afternoon/evening/night.

[lil_miss_understood]

Originally Posted by Mammo2Sammo

JR - a sane mother is needed to have healthy children. Sweetie, you know that I know you need a break. I have noticed that you are trying your best to relax a bit and huge kudos to you. You have had the crappiest year and you just haven't had a break. You do everything for everyone, even to people who shouldn't receive your kindness and generosity.

How long are you planning on going out?

I don't have suggestions for getting him to take the bottle. I'm sorry. Neither one of my kids were willing.

I would fill him up before you leave, and come back and nurse him for the rest of the night (like you usually do.).

You need to take care of yourself and you need to give your husband this chance to take care of you. Maybe he will realize how much fun it is and will fight for this time off from work.

try your best to enjoy yourself and report back to the people who love you.

when all is said and done, I think it will be about 5 hours. Takes 1 1/2 hours to get to the city when traffic is terrible, double that for there and back, then an hour for the show, half an hour for ticket retrieval and half an hour for my paranoia. Although traffic is usually getting better this time of year, so it may only be 1 hour for traffic...
Thanks for your response, Mammo2Sammo.

[tanyalynn]

Wait, did he drink 2.5 oz? I missed that at first, that's not bad. My kids drank less from the bottle and made it up with me after, I'd maybe try that another time or two, just to make sure it's all good, but if he _is_ drinking a measureable amount from a bottle, I think you may be just fine.

[mamafish9]

You can totally go for 5 hours and have him only drink 2.5oz. He'll just be hungry when you get home. And since you'll have exploding boobs at that point, it's all good.

Sweetie, you are devoted to your kids beyond all imagining. Your little guy will be fine - and may well drink more that night. He'll be cuddled and loved and he'll be fine.

As for pumping, my milk supply was usually biggest (and most flexible) in the morning - so I'd do the first awake feed of the morning with my baby on one side, the pump on the other (I got the most milk this way with a real baby stimulating letdown). That seemed to be the best time to *steal* a pumping without it impacting my nursling's hunger. And maybe also a good time of day to take your bigger guy's milkies and just give him a little more breakfast to compensate.

[darkearth]

Originally Posted by TanyaLopez

Wait, did he drink 2.5 oz? I missed that at first, that's not bad.

Yeah, I missed that too. That's not bad. Have you already tried various nipples?

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by darkearth

Yes. You need to know the baby can be fed, before you make arrangements to go out. Have you tried cups or spoons?

eh, you can't KNOW they're going to be able to be fed. babies refuse bottles/milk sometimes, even after taking them.

leaving for a few hours isn't a big deal either way. they'll either take the milk, or they'll be a little hungry.

[lil_miss_understood]

Originally Posted by TanyaLopez

Wait, did he drink 2.5 oz? I missed that at first, that's not bad. My kids drank less from the bottle and made it up with me after, I'd maybe try that another time or two, just to make sure it's all good, but if he _is_ drinking a measureable amount from a bottle, I think you may be just fine.

yes, he did, though I guess mil wasn't too happy with that... said he ate "nothing", so that sort of colored me anxious.. she expected him to eat 5 ozs like he did when he was being bottlefed bm. i guess we need to change our expectations for a bf infant. i never bottlefed ds2 at all, so...

[lil_miss_understood]

Originally Posted by darkearth

Yeah, I missed that too. That's not bad. Have you already tried various nipples?

no, just the standard one for Avent bottles and slow-flow for medela- and his special needs nurser... good idea! any suggestions?

[darkearth]

Originally Posted by JacquelineR

no, just the standard one for Avent bottles and slow-flow for medela- and his special needs nurser... good idea! any suggestions?

Well, one of my kids preferred a dull old traditional gerber nipple and then he also LOVED the playtex nipples. Another of mine liked avent nipples just fine. But that's the extent of my input. My other two always refused bottles. The youngest will only drink from a cup or spoon. Her sister refused everything, and was glued to the breast until she turned two and decided that maybe food and water weren't half bad.

[momofmine]

JR,
I just taught a mama to cup feed her baby the other day, and it is very simple. (And this baby was a preemie and not even a month old!) You may want to just ask your MIL, and if you show her, maybe she'd be more open to it if she saw how easy it was.

Use a small medicine cup (like what might come with something like benadryl or cough syrup or whatever) and fill it at least halfway. Then you rest the edge of the cup on baby's lower gum, and tilt it just enough so that the liquid touches the upper lip. Don't our it into the mouth, let the baby take it. Some babies will suck it up, some will stick their tongues out and lap it in like a kitten. Some will want to drink continuously and some will need pauses in between. In the latter instance, just pause in between swallows, and go back to it. I think there's a good Jack Newman handout on it.

http://www.drjacknewman.com/help/Fin...%20Feeding.asp

Not a handout, but there's a link.

He also has videos of it on his site:
Scroll down to the video titled, "Cup Feeding"

http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=...id=6&Itemid=13

I know it's hard. Could you take the baby with you in a sling? Not saying you should, just saying, if you feel uncomfortable not knowing whether or not he'll eat and do okay with MIL.

[tanyalynn]

Originally Posted by JacquelineR

yes, he did, though I guess mil wasn't too happy with that... said he ate "nothing", so that sort of colored me anxious.. she expected him to eat 5 ozs like he did when he was being bottlefed bm. i guess we need to change our expectations for a bf infant. i never bottlefed ds2 at all, so...

Now that he's got you to nurse from directly, it seems very reasonable to me that he'll just drink enough to get by from the bottle. Sounds like you should nurse right beforehand (like you weren't going to already) and then *tell* MIL that he just nursed, he may not be very hungry at all (since he's also a lot older than before) and help set expectations appropriately.

4mo vs the 0-2mo timeframe when you were exclusively pumping is a huge jump in terms of stretching out meals (if baby is so inclined) and baby may well be inclined now that he's got milk directly from the tap.

So, yay! A good step closer to getting away with DH.