What should the stuff look like?

[danjelle]

Okay, sorry to be a forum hog, but I have a question about the sperm I get from my known donor. The stuff he gives me in the little container every time I try to inseminate is always clear. Should it be? I was looking online and got the idea that this is an indication of not very good junk.

My friend seems very healthy. He's 27, medium build, goes to the gym, eats lots of fruit & veges, doesn't drink too much or doesn't do drugs. Always has safe sex and gets regular check ups on that. He drinks maybe 2 cups of coffee a day, but I didn't think that would really matter. Overall I would say he'd be very healthy. He is also very intelligent - has just finished his masters in science - specifically biology. I would have thought that if there were a problem with the colour he would have known?

And as he is a bit of a promiscuous gay man, he has a lot of sex, with a lot of men. If his junk wasn't the right colour, then surely he would have wondered why his was clear when every other boys was different?

I feel too shy to ask him about this. Firstly he's like a brother to me so discussing the quality of his junk would just be weird. We don't even talk about it properly with each other when sorting days/times out - it's all polite and sort of in code (we call it the stock exchange), and always via email or text. Usually our communication is much more affectionate, so it doesn't really leave a space to discuss things. Then I wouldn't want him to think I was implying that it was his fault that I'm still not pregnant. He might either get sad, and start feeling like a failure, or get angry and think I am ungrateful. And then I don't want him to turn it back on me and say that I should perhaps stop drinking coffee and drop a few kgs and stop stressing.

[basje]

lol, let me guess gold star?

Sperm can be clear or creamy! Both are normal. If you want to find out more about his sperm, looking at it won't tell you much unless you're looking under a microscope. You could bring a sample in to a doctor to have them take a look.

To further your sperm education may I suggest a really great book? The Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, and Birth explains a lot of these things and also has some fertility boosting suggestions for both donors and women. Good luck!

[danjelle]

Gold star? What does that mean?

Ah that reduces some of my anxiety that this whole thing has been in vain. For a second there I was scared that my super kind friend was infertile and I was going to have to get someone else.

Thanks for the book tip, I'll have to check out whether they have that at the library. Thankfully they have those self checkout kiosks, I'd go so red in the face getting that out the old fashioned way by some no nonsense librarian. Although she's probably seen much worse.

Another quick thing that you might know about sperm, does it all smell? Online people were talking about the smell of sperm. I have a really really bad sense of smell, and have never smelled it. In fact, until my girlfriend told me otherwise, I always thought boys just said girls smell like fish coz they were mean. So the last time I inseminated I stuck my feet up for half and hour and then had to dash off to dinner at a friends house. I didn't even get to pee. Would they have been able to smell spunk?

[jjnoho]

you could always get a sperm analysis to know for sure! it could be the best investment you make in the process to know one way or the other to continue or look elsewhere.

it made such a difference to me to see the little swimmers under the microscope before our last iui. convinced me that i could actually get pregnant by that little amount of stuff going in there.

the brill book is definitely a must have in this process so i would recommend that you buy it if possible, you will probably want to keep the book handy.

[basje]

A gold star lesbian is a lesbian who has never slept with a man. A bit crude, but hey one of those things I learned in college.

Okay the smell issue. Having sex with women has it's own smell, and with men it's a little different too. That said I doubt that your friends could smell your sperm. [I don't know why but typing that sentence made me laugh] Sperm itself isn't very stunky but with a small number of women and their choosen sperminator their smells mixed together can be kinda funky. Don't stess about it, and if you're worried spritz on a little perfume before leaving the house.

If you're concered about being out at the library maybe look into buying it used of Amazon.

[danjelle]

Ah thanks for the clarification basje - hehe gold star lesbian, haven't heard that one before Unfortunately not though, just very drunk when experimenting at 16 :-/ Naughty naughty.

I'm glad my friends wouldn't have been able to smell anything, the idea of that was making me cringe in retrospect. I was horrified that I was sitting these making small talk over dinner and they were sitting there wondering why their lesbian friend smelled like sex. That's really put my mind at ease.

And totally not concerned about being "out" at the library hehe, luckily in NZ people are pretty accepting of that sort of stuff - it's not socially acceptable to be homophobic really. For some reason though the idea of taking up a book on conception makes me feel all shy coz I think they're looking at me and thinking YOU NEED SPERM FOR THAT YOU DIRTY DIRTY GIRL!!!!!

Okay that just made me laugh, which I suppose shows me quite how ridiculous that idea is