help me with my doctor letter: UPDATE included in 1st post - Page 2

[BananaBreadGirl]

Originally Posted by robertandenith

great job on the letter! could you please keep us updated???

Sent letter, doctor called back next day (but I missed the call). I will try to keep you updated.

[PuppyFluffer]

Did the actual doctor call back or a receptionist?

[BananaBreadGirl]

Originally Posted by PuppyFluffer

Did the actual doctor call back or a receptionist?

My husband said that it was the doctor. He has called me back at home before to answer questions.

[BananaBreadGirl]

Bumping. I updated the first post and am wondering what to do now.

[Night_Nurse]

Stuff like that happens to many of us - you realize later you should have asked or commented but lost your thoughts during the heat of the moment. You still did a great job writing him and sending him info! Maybe DOC can send him a letter explaining why he is incorrect. His care is causing babies pain and is unnecessary. You are not wrong with your information, he is. A doctor does not need to pull back or manipulate the child's foreskin in anyway ever, especially since he was urinating properly and had no issues. There aren't any "malformations" for him to be looking for. Your son was peeing just fine, so obviously his urinary meatus is functioning properly. What else would he be looking for???
Personally, I'd do what he suggested and find another doctor. Never has our doctor manipulated my son nor my daughter's genitals. So there are doctors out there who know to leave a foreskin alone.

[Fellow Traveler]

I'd say it's probably time to start shopping for a new doctor. What malformation does he think he is checking for?

[jessjgh1]

In a way you both are right. The examination is what many doctors are taught and they dont' think it should cause pain. But it does and we now know that retraction is unnnecesary,.
But there were other information that he had that was just plainly incorrect and since he spouted off those things to you, I would highly suspect that he is unwilling to be educated (or proven wrong) on this subject.
A doctor should NOT be telling anyone that an intact boy needs to be retracted and cleaned.

Jessica

[MommytoB]

yep your right and the doctor is wrong only because the school are not into up to date about talking of this stuff! Definetly have Doc send him a letter that any messing with a foreskin is considered retraction

[BananaBreadGirl]

Originally Posted by Fellow Traveler

I'd say it's probably time to start shopping for a new doctor. What malformation does he think he is checking for?

Oh yes, we have found a new doctor, and she will be quizzed pointedly at our first appointment to see if she knows to "leave it alone". I just wish I could have gotten through to this guy b/c so many of my acquaintences go to him, and I have to see him on a regular basis.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Maybe print off links to the information on the damage of retraction and send that in. It is worth one more shot to protect other little boys. If that dosnt work then you did all you could and your conscious can be clear.

[Crunchy Frog]

You need to contact these guys, http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/ and have them send him their material. I believe that their lawyer will send him something to put him on notice, as well as the practice and hospital that he is affiliated with. They should be able to let you know what all information they need to proceed.

I very much hope that you will follow up on this.

[BananaBreadGirl]

I left a message at his practice for him to call me back. He did.

Summary of phone conversation:
Me: Thank you for calling back, Dr. I had some questions I didn't have time to ask last time we talked.
Dr.: OK

Me: if what you did was necessary/OK, why was he in pain afterwards?
Dr.: I might have stretched the skin a little bit.

Me: do you normally ask parent's permission before you retract?
Dr.: No, it's just like me using a tongue depressor or ear (thingy...don't know the word) to look for problems

Me: specifically what kinds of problems did you think it necessary to check for. We weren't experiencing any problems.
Dr.: malformed urethra coming out of the body, foreskin "stuck down" etc. ( I don't remember what else, he didn't use any actual medical terms, just descriptions)

Dr.: Those little booklets (I'm assuming he means the hospital info I cited in my letter) don't tell you everything.

Me: I'm not sure how he went from "kind of tight" (his words from first appt.) to "retractable" in just a few weeks.
Dr.: You saw it. He did.

Me: So you think that now that he's retractable (I don't believe he is, but....) I should be regularly cleaning underneath?
Dr.: Sure, once it's an open space, it's a breeding ground for old skin and infections. You know, with urine etc.

Me: Can you send me some current medical information to support what you are telling me.
Dr.: (silence). I'm sorry I brought this up. If you don't trust me and think that I am hurting your son, you need to find another doctor.

Me: We have already found another doctor. I'm just sorry we couldn't come to a better understanding about this. I'll continue to research this issue and take care of him as best I can. Thank you for calling.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Looks like this Dr. is one of those that no matter what you do he will be right and you will be wrong. I think you did all you can other than sharing this with others who bring up this dr's name to let them know he is not up to date on intact care and to beware of him. Since he is so stubborn I would seriously consider having this lawyer:

The attorney for Doctors Opposing Circumcision, John Geisheker, will send a letter to the doctor/nurse/hospital pro bono (free) on your behalf telling them what they did was wrong and the consequences. It isn't a letter stating you'll sue, but it is fully referenced and ought to get their attention.

Email him at [e-mail]

It may get him to stop doing this to boys and maybe causing major damage.


The foreskin is supposed to be stuck down for crying out loud that is how it protects.

[PuppyFluffer]

I hate that they get the final say by just saying that if you don't trust them, it's not a good doctor/patient relationship and you should find someone else. They just dismiss you and go along doing what they do without ever opening their little closed minds to consider that possibly a parent might know something useful.

I used to dislike a great deal of the medical profession. Dislike is too gentle a word. I'm moving towards loathing. I really am intollerant of willful ignorance. I'll get over my anger and continue being helpful on this issue....but I would be denying my own self if I didn't acknowledge the anger that wells up at the disrespect of baby boys and their parents.

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by BananaBreadGirl

Dr.: (silence). I'm sorry I brought this up. If you don't trust me and think that I am hurting your son, you need to find another doctor.

Me: We have already found another doctor. I'm just sorry we couldn't come to a better understanding about this. I'll continue to research this issue and take care of him as best I can. Thank you for calling.

On the malformation (hypospadias) thing I am a bit surprised. I think this is something that they would have identified by this point, your son is 8 months old already. I believe if it is anything other than minor you would notice signs of it by examining the foreskin (not formed quite right). Anyone want to correct me on that?

Second, if he isn't comfortable or interested in taking the time to discuss the treatment he is providing, it is defiantly time to move on. I think you did just fine and gave him every chance.

[BananaBreadGirl]

Originally Posted by Fellow Traveler

On the malformation (hypospadias) thing I am a bit surprised. I think this is something that they would have identified by this point, your son is 8 months old already. I believe if it is anything other than minor you would notice signs of it by examining the foreskin (not formed quite right). Anyone want to correct me on that?

Second, if he isn't comfortable or interested in taking the time to discuss the treatment he is providing, it is defiantly time to move on. I think you did just fine and gave him every chance.

My son's 4 months, but that probably doesn't make a difference. And he is peeing JUST FINE .

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by BananaBreadGirl

My son's 4 months, but that probably doesn't make a difference. And he is peeing JUST FINE .

I must be confusing threads.

[DocsNemesis]

I find it odd that so many doctors say they need to *check for malformations.* Um...if the hole is in a weird place, I guess I could understand, but if the exterior looks normal, wouldn't the interior most likely be normal too? And pretty much the only thing they could check for is hypospadia.

My ped has never, ever tried to retract. In fact, she's only looked at my kids junk once-right after birth, to make sure it looked normal and to check their testies. That's it. There's no reason for her to look again, unless theres a problem.

It kind of weirds me out that so many doctors are obsessed with boys penises. It'd weird me out if I had a doc obsessed with my daughters privates as well.

[jenP]

How very frustrating. He just does not get that it isn't about you feeling comfortable with him as a doctor. After all, you can (and did) leave the practice. The problem is, he is STILL harming OTHER children, both by retracting them himself and by giving the parents incorrect information.
I would talk to DOC and let them send him a letter setting him straight. They are doctors, so their word may carry more weight with him, plus they can advise him that more and more parents are educated on this matter and he will only be losing more patients and opening himself up to lawsuits if he continues with the retracting and the bad advice.
He needs to understand that this is not a little difference of opinion one parent, it is actually malpractice and he is doing it to all of his young male patients.
Good on you for taking action on it! Hopefully it will help other boys.

Jen