please, don't let this be the start of PPD...

[heidirk]

hey ladies...

I really feel like I'm going off the deep end. My perspective is totally failing me, and I'm getting very very anxious. I am so irritable! And when I'm not hyper, I'm dead.
I am on a rollercoaster from H---. My first PP AF ended last week, and it was normalnormalnormal...now I'm midcycle-ish, and I am just

Please! NO! I made it eleven months! don't let it start, now! I don't want things to get like they were after ds1.

It's all hit in the last week, I feel isolated, abandoned by my famly, like nonone cares, I'm angry,,,agh!

I know nothing has really changed, it's my head!

[Autumn Breeze]

First off all, BREATH. Because if it happens again, it's OK. You can come through the other side. It's not wrong that it happens, it just happens!!

What did you do last time to relieve your symptoms, and move pass your depression? Perhaps implementing some of the things you did on your own can be started while you wait to see your doctor.

[heidirk]

The thing is, my perspective was so badly distorted last time that I never did get help...It just kind of went away...I only figured it all out after the fact.

I thought something was wrong with everyone else. I guess I've been depending on the fact that I've BTDT to help me recognise if it happened again- but I thought I was in the clear!

Then again, I suddenly heardmyself screaming at my son, and went, "WHOAH!"

I'm up today- WAYYYYY up. I don't trust my feelings anymore.

[Autumn Breeze]

Start with a call to your insurance company to find out what your psych benefits are, and then start calling the psychiatrists they cover. Interview until you find one you are comfortable with.

Take care of yourself.

[ShineliketheSon]

Just want to give . Finding a therapist to talk to is what helped me. I was not diagnosed PPD last time but as I look back I'm sure I had it. It too just went away. This time I noticed stuff and started therapy...I havn't been in weeks but need to again. I'm calling tomorrow. The call is always the hardest... but once done, it'll feel better to be on the way to healing!!!

[heidirk]

Originally Posted by Autumn Breeze

Start with a call to your insurance company to find out what your psych benefits are, and then start calling the psychiatrists they cover. Interview until you find one you are comfortable with.

Take care of yourself.

I don't have insurance right now. There is a volunteer physicians group around here, but I still need to fill out the paperwork.

[K-Mom3]

I'm so sorry. It sounds like depression to me. Don't let it scare you too badly, though, you can do something about it! How long did you have symptoms before? As for making it 11 months--is there anything in your life that changed recently? I started symptoms 6 months pp because it was january and the temp was -30 and -40 for weeks on end. Before that, I was walking outside every day and didn't have symptoms.

Definitely look into getting some treatment. You could try the supplement route, the medication route and either way I suggest making rest, exercise and nutrition high priorities. You may need to ask for help from a hubby or friend to make it happen.

You also may want to look into PMDD--you could read through this thread and see if it sounds like you:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=993349

And if you think your symptoms are cyclical you may want to start tracking symptoms, like on a fertility chart.

http://www.gardenoffertility.com/fertilitycharts.shtml

You could use one of the rows at the bottom to rate your depression each day from 1 to 10, for example. This might be helpful to bring to an appointment, even if you're not tracking the other stuff on the chart.

Good luck! Hugs!

[heidirk]

Thanks K-mom3- that's a good idea. I had planned on charting in the nest AF shows up in a reasonably cycle-ish amount of time. And it might be PMDD, because I had symptoms in Highschool similar to this.


You've given me something to think about.