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Unorthodox Consequence, Can't Stop Thinking About It - Page 2

post #21 of 26
Well it took me like 30 minutes to get there because I had to make arrangements for my other two, find my keys, calm myself, and find a parking place, then find the store because I don't know the mall that well.

So the store sent us a letter saying we had to pay a fine of $50 or they'd sue us for a substantial amount of money and legal fees. I taught dd how to write a check using her savings in her new checking act to pay it. She was mortified about the $50 fee. I actually think that is a GOOD deal!

I told her that I had called and there was a $12.50 convenience fee (like $ 2less than what the value of what she stole was If we paid by debit or credit card) and she wrote the check and addressed it. I mailed it. I should have dragged her lil behind along to the post office to see how it was taking up MY time to mail it in the short period they gave us to pay.

She still has court on Thursday. Hopefully, the restitution will be enough along with being banned from the mall. I don't think there's really any need for public signs.

You would think it would be a high priority to get her dad served but nobody can find HIM. But oh no a 16 y.o. stealing from the mall is like a federal case. He owes over $2k but they don't send deadbeat parents to jail til it hits the 5k mark and then only for the weekend. But a 16 y.o. with less than $15.00 of crapola it isn't even worth the docket time fee.
post #22 of 26
I have never seen one bloody penny. EVER and my daughter is 16. However it is worth it to not have him in our life. He was gone when I was three months pregnant, has never seen my daughter, and never will. And the court ordered a whopping $75 a month anyway. Big whop.

My feeling on child support is, you can't get blood from a turnip. So go on and drink yourself to death somewhere else and leave us to live our lives in peace. My father never paid either. I never got allowance. I never got accessories or dresses for dances. I never tried to steal them however and even if I had, two wrongs don't make a right. Not paying for three months is not the same as not paying ever. And back then the courts didn't do anything about it PERIOD. So getting them to do something at 5K is is much better than things used to be. My mom was told she had to prove he was not paying. How do you prove someone isn't doing something??? Talk about stupid.

As for the OP. Yea crap like that isn't going to help at all. My mother used to publicly shame me all the time. (by freaking out and screaming at the top of her lungs for the whole neighborhood to hear.) Most of the time it was her jumping to the wrong conclusions and I didn't even do what I was being "shamed" about anyway. I got to the point where I figured if I was going to get in trouble for it, I might as well be doing it anyway.

Growing up the way I did, I figure at 10 this is the poor child's first offense. Mom figures she is going to nip it in the bud by shaming her publicly. If everyone knows what the child did, she wont do it again will she??? It's awful and horrible and I feel so bad for this poor child.
post #23 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbieB View Post
Not that his is right, or would even help, but as I read the OP all I could think was how I would love to walk by this situation and start pointing fingers at the mom and shout something like, "My daughter made a mistake and know I'm making it worse."
How about going up to the mom and saying, "Hey mom, I'll bet she's really sorry she got caught stealing, and I'm sure after this she'll be really careful she doesn't get caught again!"
post #24 of 26
You don't know the history.

Would you be OK with it if the child was a teen and was got arrested and then had a record to deal with?
post #25 of 26
Having a record would be a bad outcome. That's what I'm worried about with my teen. So we went to court and the DA will be in touch within 3 months letting us know if he/she is going to prosecute.

I was not very polite at the meeting and I said stuff like oh now the DA is concerned about my kids???? Please do set up a meeting because we have some business to discuss. When they asked for my address and number I told them I didn't know where I'd be living beyond the next two weeks.
post #26 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaterPrimaePuellae View Post
Are you certain it was her mom? Because I have heard of certain judges imposing exactly this sort of sentence on teenage offenders, and there was a social worker who was there to enforce that they were holding up the sign.
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