tell me i can do this

[DivineMrsM]

i'm 36 weeks and as confident as i am that i CAN do a natural drugfree birth, i'm getting a little freaked out. i have taken a lot of steps to ensure that i will get the birth i want (doula, midwife, tons of reading) but i can't help but doubt myself. i really need to be more confident in myself! OTHER people can do it, what makes me think that *I* can't??!! i KNOW i can. my husband is a little nervous though. he doesn't want to see me in any pain as it freaks him out. which i understand. but i have warned him that i do not want anyone saying the E word. if i break and i want it *I* will say so. i don't want anyone to put it in my head. i want everyone to at least ACT like they have confidence in me! lol

so can you guys give me a pep talk? i'm getting a little nervous. my excitement is still overriding the fear though. that's where i'm trying to stay.

[nettlesoup]

You can definitely do it, don't worry! I have a very low pain threshold and managed to give birth to my 8 pound 7 daughter with nothing more than gas and air. I didn't think I'd be able to do it but I had no problem. Just remember it's a productive pain and won't go on forever.

Good luck with it all and just relax

[zak]

You were made for this, Mama!! You can do it!! You've prepared so much! Having a doula will absolutely be a help in a hospital setting!

I hope you have a beautiful birth!

[Peace+Hope]

heh, you can do it, and you can do it better than you think! your body is beautifully suited and made to give birth all by itself, if you relax and play along

to you!

[LionessMom]

i am confident that having a doula will help me to say no to drugs. i had the epidural with DD and DS and refuse to do that again. i would rather feel labor than not be able to move my legs for hours and be tied down to a bed. i hated the feeling of not being able to feel my legs. i want to feel the ecstasy of birth i want to feel my baby be born. i am determined to do it. i know you can do it too.

[Serenyd]

You can do this You will find a way to deal with the pain when the time comes. Remember, your body is designed to give birth naturally!

[jecombs]

Oh honey, you can do it! And you will have the most amazing feeling after you do -- I felt on top of the world after I birthed DD. I was so confident, I felt like "if I can do THAT, I can do anything!" (and this was after 9 hrs of back-labor, 3 of which were pushing, and a tear). The birth-high, combined with that confidence was like nothing I have ever experienced. I wish all women could experience it at least once!

[kcparker]

You can do it! Women are strong - we have birthed without anaesthesia for thousands of years. You are well-prepared with a good support team, information, and a positive attitude towards birth. Your body is powerful, strong, and wise, and all you have to do is ride your labor out one contraction at a time. Just keep breathing. If you are floundering, return to your breath. In. Out. In. Out. Follow it. The contractions will come and go. You will be okay.

Make yourself some positive affirmations, either written or that you can say to yourself:
- I am strong. I can give birth without medications.
- My body knows what to do, and I can relax into this knowledge.
- I am a leaf on the wind (if you are a Serenity/sci-fi nerd, you will know what this means!)

If you are religious at all, you can also find some bible verses or sutras or something short that you can use to ground and center yourself. I think a nice one is, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

It can also be helpful to think of the labor from the baby's perspective, the contractions squeezing and massaging the baby in preparation for breathing air, the moving down and out and slow corkscrewing through the pelvis. You want to think of your own body being relaxed, open, and yielding so that baby's passage is easy and gentle. You will open like a flower so that baby slips out easily and gently.

Give DH a list of helpful things he can say that don't involve the words "I'm worried" or "pain" (that he can even keep in his pocket and pull out if he's not sure what to say/do), and remind him that this is not pathological pain - it's the intensity of your body doing lots of work to open up and let the baby come into the world. He should cheer you on, support you, help you stay relaxed and hydrated.

[gillibean]

You can do it, you are strong. Having a midwife and doula for support will be awesome. I loved the midwife I had with my first, she was a tremendous source of emotional support.

[DivineMrsM]

THANK YOU!!! thank you all! just what i need to hear/read. i KNOW i will do this. it's not a matter of thinking i CAN, it's KNOWING i WILL. and i'm so excited!!!

[ashleedio]

Thank you for posting this - I'm in about the same boat as you (due just a few days ahead) and am having the same fears and concerns, so know you're not alone there!

[notjustmamie]

Originally Posted by kcparker

Give DH a list of helpful things he can say that don't involve the words "I'm worried" or "pain" (that he can even keep in his pocket and pull out if he's not sure what to say/do)

This is a fabulous idea! In fact, I think I might make a list for DH.

I did have a pain-med-free (though, sadly, Pitocin-augmented) birth with DD and talking to DH about it later, he was really struggling while I was in transition and telling everybody in the room I couldn't do it. He actually did really well--just kept say that I was doing great, he knew I could do it, etc.--but he was really freaking out on the inside.

DivineMrsM - YOU CAN DO IT! I won't sugar coat it--it can be really difficult. It might hurt. A lot. Maybe more than you've figured. Or it might not hurt at all. Just remember that your body was designed to do this. Take one contraction at a time. Let the past and the future drift away and focus only on right now. Have a fabulous birth!

[Beccadoula]

Just remember that your body is designed to work! It is able to stretch, to move, and to birth well! Your uterus could birth the baby if you were in a coma...your pelvis is slightly flexible and will make room for baby, your baby's head is very flexible and will mold to fit through your pelvis. You are actually able to do something that shouldn't be possible! Work with your body and trust yourself. You may not fully believe that you can until you have...but you will be able to do this.

-Happy Birthing!!!

[elanorh]

You can do it.

Wait as long as you can before going to the hospital. That way you will hopefully avoid the cascade of interventions (pitocin etc.). Walk around, stay upright, do things that need doing around the house ....

I told dh that even if I *asked* for pain meds, I needed him to remind me that I didn't want them. I didn't ask, in the end.

I've had two natural births in the hospital -- I think a real key is to do it your way, with as little direction as possible (my OB is quite hands-off ). And in my experience, at what point I start thinking, WOW, I know why some women want pain meds -- that's right at the point that you're nearly ready to push.

Remind yourself, at that point, to relax. Consciously relax your whole body (you can start with your toes or whatever). When you think about pain, you tense, which makes pain worse. So relax. Focus on relaxing, and voila.

You can do this. It is worth it. And again, the intensity isn't constant. You get breaks -- and then you're done.

[Comtessa]

Originally Posted by elanorh

I told dh that even if I *asked* for pain meds, I needed him to remind me that I didn't want them. I didn't ask, in the end.

My DH was SO good about this! In fact, I ended up going to the hospital specifically for an epidural (if your baby isn't born after 3 days of drugfree labor, please do not feel guilty if you revise your plans), and even then, when I asked for one, DH said, "honey, are you sure you want to do this???"

In my case, the epidural gave me a chance to sleep, which gave me the strength I needed to push that stubborn baby OUT. But I did all 3 days of the laboring without drugs, and it was WONDERFUL. I wouldn't have changed any of that for the world, even the really hard parts.

If you're having a doula, make sure she shows your DH how to apply hard pressure to your lower back and how to do the "labor hip squeeze." Both of these made a huge difference for me when I was in labor, but it took DH a while to learn from the MW how to do them. It would have been nice if they could have traded off to do this!

[mamakah]

you can absolutely do it. I'm a fix it kind of person when it comes to pain. I take a pill the second I feel a headache coming on, would scream out in pain when I got middle of the night leg cramps while pregnant, etc. Birth is completely different. I wasn't happy about it the entire time I was in labor, and you probably won't be either. I gave my dp strict instructions to remind me of what I wanted (no interventions or drugs) during labor. Right when I hit transition I asked dp to take me to hospital for an epidural (I didn't know I was in transition which is the toughest part) he said "just try one more hour without one, if you still want one in an hour we'll go get you one". My son was born less than a half hour later.
Words cannot describe how you feel after a drug free birth. I could have run around the world, hugged and kissed every person I came across. It was the most wonderful feeling I have ever felt and I was high from it for days! YOU CAN DO IT AND YOU'LL BE SOOOOOO HAPPY AND PROUD!

[gentlestrengths]

You can do it!!! If I can do it...if all of these other women have done it...YOU can too. I know you can!! I am not made any differently than you are. We are both built to do this. It is HARD work. That pain will make you WANT to give in, but you can make up your mind to surrender to it. It won't last so long. You'll have small breaks in between, for air, and water, and love from your support-team. You SO can do this!! I know it.

I can't wait to read your birth story.