So my friend gets it....

[RJones1204]

but not in the way we would expect.
So my friend and I were on the phone talking about what parenting topics were debatable. We talked about how BFing vs formula, cloth vs sposies, co sleeping vs crib sleeping, etc. Well we got to the topic of circumcision. My son is intact, her's is circed. She told me she thinks it should not be debatable. She said that cleaniness is not an issue (circed and intact guys should still wash to stay clean). She said there for it is a personal choice.
So she gets that there are no health benefits to it (etc) BUT it is still a choice that parents have to make.

Also months and months ago she told me she realizes it is purely cosmetic and she wants any future sons to be circed simply because of the way it looks. Wow I am just a bit dumbfounded.
She has seen the videos and everything (even the one of the actual circumcision being done on the newborn baby boy)

She still said she would choose to do it to any future sons. I told her "you don't HAVE to" she said "I WANT to". We dropped the conversation and left it there.

[BaMo]

I know...it's hard having a friend that "gets it" but doesn't really either.

[Fyrestorm]

I just think it's creepy that a parent wants to be attracted to their child's penis.

[MommytoB]

She knows it's cosmetic but she wants to do it because it's her choice to decide what her son penis looked like .

I could just imagine the convo hey son I circ'ed you because I liked circ'ed penis otherwise there no reason for circumcision.

Sounds a bit perverse to me .

[georgia]

Hi, everyone Just a reminder that the purpose of the forum is not to disparage others. From the CAC Guidelines:

Mothering questions routine medical circumcision and advocates for informed consent. TCAC hosts discussion of the reasons to avoid circumcision, the history of the procedure, medical issues and studies, complications, the needs and rights of the child, care of the intact child's penis and other educational topics....It is our wish that The Case Against Circumcision be an informative and welcoming space for those who are new to the subject of circumcision. This is not a space to bash others.

From Peggy O'Mara:

The Case Against Circumcision (TCAC) was intended to be a place where new parents could learn about these personal and political issues and be assisted in making their decision about circumcision. In my own experience as an advocate I've learned that I have to take a mother where she is and appreciate that while I may lead her to what I believe to be the right decision, she has to make it herself. This is the true nature of informed consent. With this in mind, we want to keep TCAC for the new parents and we want it to be a place where they feel safe to have the space they need to make this informed decision.

Let's do our best to support the OP and perhaps focus on how we can positively deal with disappointment, frustration, etc, thanks! Please PM me with any questions.

[KaylaBeanie]

Wow. Sometimes the thought processes of people just blow my mind. However, as long as it is a legal parental choice, there will always be mamas like her. I just cannot understand using solely the cosmetics for an excuse. I mean...if she's going to do it, I would at least expect an actual attempted REASON behind it, not just "it looks better."

[robertandenith]

I totally lose respect towards people that besides all the information you give them, and they are aware of the violation of the child's rights, damage to the penis, etc still do it to their children.

[Greg B]

Well, her logic is flawed if I understand what you have said.

Things are debatable when there is not a clear indication of what should be done, or a law makes the decision for us.

Since she sees RIC as a personal choice, then it is debatable. She may not want to debate it because she knows that her position does not have enough support to defend well. But it is debatable.

But then the human mind is illogical, and not good at being objective or weighing advantages vs disadvantages. You could continue to bring it up, but she may not want to see what is evident to you.

Regards

[tutucrazy]

Put "personal" applies to the actual OWNER of the body. His penis, his person, his personal choice. It is flawed logic to think your child's sex organ is your personal choice. It is not yours in any other way so why should it be for male circ?

[KaylaBeanie]

Originally Posted by tutucrazy

Put "personal" applies to the actual OWNER of the body. His penis, his person, his personal choice. It is flawed logic to think your child's sex organ is your personal choice. It is not yours in any other way so why should it be for male circ?

Sadly, human rights don't typically apply to minors, especially in the medical realm

[jserral]

Would she be against a society that commonly removed/reduced the labia from daughters? Less folds and the men are used to it and even think it is cleaner. What would bother her most about it? The lack of medical reasoning? The daughter losing the ability to decide what she wants? Would she be ok with it so long over 50% of guys preferred it? Or is what bothers her most is that it isn't an ugly more or even a birth defect, it is the natural body, something she is comfortable with and cant imagine how someone could permanently alter what was given to their daughter?

[smeep]

Originally Posted by KaylaBeanie

I just cannot understand using solely the cosmetics for an excuse. I mean...if she's going to do it, I would at least expect an actual attempted REASON behind it, not just "it looks better."

I disagree. I would rather a parent at least admit the true reason than to hide behind false "facts." Just as, though I'm glad the child kept their genital integrity in the end, I have JUST as much of a problem with parents who DON'T circ "because daddy isn't" as I do with parents who DO circ "because daddy is." Good result vs. bad result, but the logic behind it is equally horrible. Forget cosmetics, so-called "benefits," risks, etc.: his body, his choice! Just because it's legal doesn't make it right, okay or acceptable, or ANYONE's choice but the owner of the penis.