How important is an undistrubed 'babymoon' for you? - Page 2

[Earth Momma]

oh I love a babymoon - to bond and get to know baby, our family likes to play pass the baby (more like kidnapp the baby and ignore everything else including time to nurse) not only do they not bring food or offer to help but expect there to be stuff for them to eat and drink. So this time Dh made a visitation schedule and we did a lotus birth which was wonderful (and detered some people)!

another aspect for us is that baby is developing his immune system - so we don't want to much exposure (especially this year)!

[pumpkinhead]

For me, it's not important at all. What is important is spending as little time as humanly possible in the hospital and being back in my own space and more importantly, my own bed ASAP.

I did find it overwhelming to have multiple visitors land all at once, especially if they had multiple older, very loud and/or rambunctious children, but one family at a time was just fine as long as it wasn't for hours and hours. I loved having visitors and didn't mind handing off my baby to trusted friends and family here and there. They all brought us food, amused my older ds and held the baby so I could pee/shower/get dressed etc. Both of my newborns nursed every 30 to every hour during the day in those early days, so I got them back lots for snuggles :. And I got to see them every 2-3 hours at night. I actually enjoyed those early, newborny, wakeful night feedings.

I don't think it's asking a lot to impose limits if boundaries aren't being respected but I do like having company in those early days as long as I like the company.

[pumpkinhead]

Originally Posted by Earth Momma

another aspect for us is that baby is developing his immune system - so we don't want to much exposure (especially this year)!

Definitely something to be careful of with obviously sick visitors, but full term newborns who are being breastfed are actually better protected during their first 2 weeks of life than they will ever be again until they are 12ish months. That's because colostrum is essentially concentrated antibodies as well as immune cells. The protection it offers lasts about 2 weeks.

There are those who have proposed that this may be evoluntionary. When a new baby is born, he or she is a big curiosity, so lots of people will want to come and meet the new arrival. Makes sense, no?

[Bokonon]

I never even considered a babymoon, but mine were both NICU babies anyway.

My mom happened to be visiting when DS was born 8 weeks early. My shower was planned for 2 days after he was born, so we had to cancel it, but my cousin and his wife came to visit me in the hospital. I was on magnesium sulfate and my blood pressure was still 200/110ish. They hung out in my room chatting, gushing over how amazing the food they brought was, when I couldn't have any. I was seriously annoyed.

We had our best friends come to meet him the day after he came home, and then all the grandparents came a few weeks later. That was a big mistake. MIL didn't lift a finger to help - no cooking, cleaning, laundry, she never even offered to change DS or give him a bottle. I was pumping then, so I had to feed, pump, and clean everything, and she didn't help at all. It was far worse than having no visitors, because I still had to entertain and make sure everyone was fed.

We only had a couple of friends come visit Mason in the NICU. Their son was 12 days older than him.

With DD, a very good friend came to see me just as I was being discharged. My mom came that day (we actually picked her up from the airport right after I was picked up at the hospital!), and that was very helpful because she watched DS when DH and I went to the NICU, but I had to tell her to stop talking to people on the phone about how DD was STILL in the hospital and how they should just release her, because it made me cry every time I heard her. Other than that, she was very helpful, and left 4 days after DD came home. I loved having DD to myself for a few days while DS was in school.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, the ILs haven't even bothered visiting yet, and DD is already 5 months old. But they get jealous when they hear about my mom visiting.

[Peony]

Eh. With my 2nd child I stayed close to home, we did venture out some, just whatever I wanted to do. For two weeks DH stayed home and he took DD1 off a lot and allowed me to rest. I don't think that helped all of us to bond as a family. With DS, he took off one week but we did everything as a family, I was out and about all over the place. We did seem to bond faster as a family, and I bonded no different between DD2 or DS.

[diana_of_the_dunes]

I'm only 7 days PP, but it's been very important to me to have quiet time at home. I had a rough after-birth experience involving a small hemorrhage and retaining part of the amniotic sac, so I was very sore and exhausted aferwards. I couldn't even breastfeed my baby until several hours later. I was lightheaded whenever I tried to sit up, so having visitors wasn't a priority. My DH and my mom were there for the birth, so I obviously didn't mind them being around. Then that night MIL and FIL showed up, which was mostly okay. Then 2 co-workers arrived unnanounced. I was in the bathroom with the nurse at the time, and I looked at her and said, "Oh God, I don't want them here!" and just about burt into tears. They only stayed 10 minutes, though, so it ended up being okay.

The next night my 2 SIL and a niece came. Thank God it was close to 9 pm (visiting hrs end then), so they were forced to leave. I didn't want them there for more than 20 minutes, and I know they'd have never left on their own.

The day after we came home, I felt good and accidentally overscheduled guests. I went in the kitchen and cried because I just wanted to be alone. I asked DH to get his parents to leave, but somehow they stayed another half an hour

For me, 1 guest/group per day is the limit. My mom has been here cooking and cleaning, which has been wonderful, but even she gets on my nerves sometimes. I don't feel any desire to go anywhere (shopping, visiting, etc), but I'm dying to get out for a walk. Hopefully that will happen today.

[Asiago]

We are planning on a week at home alone as a little family, short visits from grandparents only. My husband already sent out emails. We really want the week to bond with baby and get our rest, without the stress of entertaining nor the threat of sickness on a newborn's undeveloped immune system.

As per the hospital, as quiet and as few people as possible. The L&D nurse already told new moms (on the tour we went on) that she has no problem asking visitors to leave so mom and baby can get rest.

I was always the type to show up at the hospital when family and friends had babies, now I see it from the other side though and how important rest and bonding time really is.

This pregnancy has really enlightened me on alot of things I was totally clueless about before (!)