DS's penis hurts, and I can't find a doctor I trust

[velveeta]

DS's last ped suggested a circumcision to "cure" his hurting penis. DS who is 2 1/2, says that his penis hurts, and this is always when he has an erection. Some people on this board have suggested that his foreskin is naturally beginning to retract (or the process is beginning, anyway), and that can hurt a little bit. He has no swelling, discharge, or anything that makes me think there is a serious problem.

OTOH, I don't want to ignore DS when he tells me at least once a day that it hurts. I would like a trusted doctor to take a look at him. Or, is there a cream or something I could try? I am at a loss, here.

DS won't go naked -- I have tried that. He is a very prefers-to-be-fully-dressed kind of boy. He would sleep in shoes if I let him.

[larzanna]

Check out the my tribe section on these forums, and ask the ladies there for general practice Dr. (or a pedi if you want one of those) there that they trust.
Thats how i found my Dr and i LOVE LOVE her.

[Dabble]

I agree that a word-of-mouth recommendation from someone in your area is the way to go. I got a lot of great recommendations in the My Tribe forum when I needed a foreskin-friendly dr. in my area.

[QueenOfThePride]

You could try hydrocortisone ointment.

[tutucrazy]

This is very normal for an intact boy to have on and off throughout boyhood. This happens when the foreskin starts to separate from the glans. The erection is just helping some of these areas detach. This is not to be confused with retraction b/c retraction doesn't happen until the foreskin has both separated AND the opening has widened. This can take until puberty to happen since puberty hormones are what helps widen the opening.

I would strongly recommend against seeing a doctor at this point. You could set him up for forcible retraction and/or misdiagnosis of a larger problem. Fact is that most peds and urologist don't have a clue about the normal development of the intact boy. Separation trauma is very normal and doesn't need further medical attention.

Things you can do to help ease the pain.
-Long soaks in a warm bath. No soap! Soaking in soapy water irritates the genitals and can lead to yeast.
-If he has stinging during urination you can have him pee with his penis submerged in a cup of water. (takes the sting off)
-Try to temporarily limit his self-exploration time. Remind him to be gentle with his manhood.
-If you see any rash or irritation you can use an A & D ointment. Otherwise I strongly recommend against applying ointments. Someone mentioned hydrocortisone. In all my years studying intact boy I've never heard of hydrocortisone as a foreskin-safe cream. My understanding is that cortisone should generally be avoided in children. Steroidal creams (which I think hydrocortisone is) should never be used on a child's foreskin b/c they thin the skin. There are some other natural soothing ointments that some moms here recommend that would be safe. Honestly though I think time is the best healer. The foreskin is detaching from the inside so the ointment won't really do any bit of good.

If you ever need a pedi that is "foreskin friendly" we have a list in the resources sticky.

Read this thread and you will understand exactly what is happening with your son's developing penis and why not to worry.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...893&highlight=

[eepster]

Very young children often lack the language to properly express what they are experiencing. Little boys commonly say "it hurts" when they get erections, simply b/c they aren't sure how to express this strange and complicated feeling. They can't say " my penis feels all tight, and a bit like I need to pee, and it's oddly scary and also pleasant, and I don't understand why I feel this way.... ," so they just say "it hurts."

Next time he says this, try helping him find the words he needs to express what he is feeling. With DS when he got his eye drops at the eye Dr and didn't like them and tried to express it, I asked him "do the hurt or do they just feel weird?" He thought for a few moments, and decided they just felt weird.

[robertandenith]

he may be trying to say that it feels weird not that it hurts. My daughter used to say that something hurt while she was just itching. They just don't know how to express it.

The genitals of a 2 1/2 yo is too young for hydrocortisone ointment.

[eepster]

Originally Posted by QueenOfThePride

You could try hydrocortisone ointment.

That is for men who have completed puberty, not young children.

[QueenOfThePride]

Ummm, OK, I thought it was to relieve minor skin irritation.

[Oubliette8]

Originally Posted by eepster

Very young children often lack the language to properly express what they are experiencing. Little boys commonly say "it hurts" when they get erections, simply b/c they aren't sure how to express this strange and complicated feeling. They can't say " my penis feels all tight, and a bit like I need to pee, and it's oddly scary and also pleasant, and I don't understand why I feel this way.... ," so they just say "it hurts."

Next time he says this, try helping him find the words he needs to express what he is feeling. With DS when he got his eye drops at the eye Dr and didn't like them and tried to express it, I asked him "do the hurt or do they just feel weird?" He thought for a few moments, and decided they just felt weird.

I distinctly remember doing this as a kid. My parents loved mentholatum for chapped lips and I hated it. They would put it on and I would wail that it hurt- it didn't hurt, it tingled in a way that was a little weird and uncomfortable. But at the time I did not have the words to express that, so "it hurt" Genital feelings got the same response, even though they didn't hurt, they were just different and scary for me.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by QueenOfThePride

Ummm, OK, I thought it was to relieve minor skin irritation.

I think the confusion here is between betamethazone cream used in puberty and adulthood to loosen the foreskin vs hydrocortizone cream to relieve itching. I dont think I would put the hydrocorizone on the genitals but no idea really if you can safely or not.

OP I think the others who said that he is saying hurting when maybe he just means uncomfortable or odd feeling since he dosnt have the vocabulary to talk about the sensation.

As far as taking him to the dr there is really nothing a dr can do. Other than do a swab of the tip of the foreskin and see if there is any yeast or bacteria living there. Since you say there is nothing unusual to see I doubt seriously if it will show any thing.

Since the Dr. shouldnt be allowed to even touch your ds's penis I just done know what good it would do though I totally understand your not wanting to just ignore your ds when he say it hurts.

There is no cream you can put on there to help loosen it since that is only for boys well into puberty and adults. Using it on him might help while it is being applied but then once it is stopped he will go back to his natural state. The steroid cream is a steroid and as such will affect him in ways he is not meant to be affected yet. That is why many avoid steroids.

My ds has also complained of pain with an erection but it wasnt really pain it was just odd feeling and usually brought on by the position of his penis in his diaper and now underwear.

[tutucrazy]

Originally Posted by QueenOfThePride

Ummm, OK, I thought it was to relieve minor skin irritation.

All you need for minor skin irritation is A & D ointment or a diaper rash ointment. If there is a wound to the penis a parent can use bacitracin ointment.

I forgot to tell the OP that some boys say their penis hurts when they first begin to recognize erection . This is pretty normal as others have said and has nothing to do with the foreskin. Could be this or separation. Either way, no worries.

[eepster]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

I think the confusion here is between betamethazone cream used in puberty and adulthood to loosen the foreskin vs hydrocortizone cream to relieve itching. I dont think I would put the hydrocorizone on the genitals but no idea really if you can safely or not.

Betamethazone is the more effective steroid cream for treating phimosis (in combination with the stretching) in adult men, but it requires a px. To avoid getting a px, many men use hydrocortizone instead. They are both steroid creams and somewhat interchangable.

Of course, hydrocortizone has several uses, and one of the main uses of hydrocortizone is to reduce the itching, irritation and inflammation of allergic skin reactions, such as a poison ivy rash. However, the OP's DS doesn't sound like he has an allergic reaction going on on his foreskin. Even if he did, I would use a milder treatment with fewer side effects unless it was really bad.

[cschick]

Originally Posted by velveeta

DS's last ped suggested a circumcision to "cure" his hurting penis. DS who is 2 1/2, says that his penis hurts, and this is always when he has an erection. Some people on this board have suggested that his foreskin is naturally beginning to retract (or the process is beginning, anyway), and that can hurt a little bit. He has no swelling, discharge, or anything that makes me think there is a serious problem.

My son complained (loudly) about it hurting every time he got an erection from about age 2-2.5. Now he's 3, and he's fully retractable. As far as I can figure, it was just discomfort with what it was doing, combined with some natural separation discomfort.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by eepster

Betamethazone is the more effective steroid cream for treating phimosis (in combination with the stretching) in adult men, but it requires a px. To avoid getting a px, many men use hydrocortizone instead. They are both steroid creams and somewhat interchangable.

Of course, hydrocortizone has several uses, and one of the main uses of hydrocortizone is to reduce the itching, irritation and inflammation of allergic skin reactions, such as a poison ivy rash. However, the OP's DS doesn't sound like he has an allergic reaction going on on his foreskin. Even if he did, I would use a milder treatment with fewer side effects unless it was really bad.

I didnt realize that hydrocortizone was also a steroid though I should have. I had never heard of using it to help retraction and didnt think of it in that way.

[tutucrazy]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

I didnt realize that hydrocortizone was also a steroid though I should have. I had never heard of using it to help retraction and didnt think of it in that way.

Yes it is steroidal, probably a lower dosage but steroidal just the same. Based on that I'd say that on the genitals is a huge "no, no".

[velveeta]

Wow! Thank you for all the wonderfully helpful replies. I feel much more confident choosing to watch DS, and see how he does. For these past few weeks, I have switched DS to disposable diapers for when he poops (I am really sick with pregnancy). He doesn't like it, and told me the diapers made his penis hurt. So, I switched him back, and he hasn't complained today. Maybe a chemical irritated him in combination with the erection thing (that has definitely been an issue for him). So, we'll just see what happens.

In any case, I so appreciate all this great info! I feel so much better informed and equipped to handle this than before. Thank you all so much!

[RaRa7]

I am so glad to have found this thread.
3 nights ago my 3 1/2 yo ds starting screaming that his "willy" hurt. Ever since it happens 3 or four times within a 24 hour period. It starts out of the blue-he just starts a blood-curdling scream: it's heartbreaking.
The only thingk that helps is the bath (not good when you are in the middle of the grocery store!).
But just like velveeta said, he has no swelling, discharge or even redness??
So I was wondering, for those of you whose sons this has happened to---do the incidences of pain just start randomly and with no warning? It just seems so intense and so short-lived that it's hard to believe it's normal foreskin retraction...of course I have no idea being a woman.
His ped, too, suggested circumcision for a UTI a year ago. I refuse to take him back there for anything to do with his penis

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

It is normal for it to happen that way. The reason it hurts so bad is because urine stings like the dickens when it touches it and also it is a lot like a paper cut that will sting even without anything touching it until it heals. Thankfully it is short lived for the most part but it can happen a few times over the course of months or even years until full retractability happens.

The only thing you can do is allow them to pee in water to help with the sting and watch things to make sure no infection appears.

[RaRa7]

thank you so much for responding--I feel so helpless and really don't know where to turn
Next question though: if it doesn't hurt when he pees (he says it doesn't) than could this still be retraction or more likely something else?