It sounds ridiculous, but it is driving me to drink.
I have a 5 yo DD(new kindergartner), 3.75 yo DS, and a 13 month old DD. 3.75 yo DS seems ;fixated on DD2's head. They cannot be unsupervised for even a second, or he starts pulling at her head, twisting her face, sort of wrenching her neck, pulling on the back of her shirt. When we are physically together, if my eyeballs come off him, he is at her. Even if my eyeballs are on him, speaking to him directly, ignoring the baby, he is always almost unconsciously moving toward her to mess with her head. In the hallway picking up kindergartner DD, it is very nearly physically impossible to keep him from her. I have to hold him bodily away, and he is often flailing his arms at her while I do so. Extremely out of character. If I pick up DD2, he pulls on her legs. You get the picture. I don't think it *is* a compulsion, but it reads like compulsive behavior. He has no trouble listening to me about any other topic. Always has listened well in public, except about this. He displays no other sensory type behaviors. Not impulsive for his age, except about this. Wants to play with his sister, generally, gets upset that he can't when he hurts her (though this does not seem to deter him). Of course, she adores him, and would follow him around all day if she could, attempts to wring her neck notwithstanding.
I have tried extra 1 on 1 attention for him(lots and lots! Totally separate from the incidents!), separating them, trying to get him to empathize, giving him jobs about her, taking them all away so he didn't get resentful, etc. It has been going on for about 3 months, so I think I must just be missing the cause. I was thinking sibling rivalry, looking for attention. That's not it. She just started walking 2 weeks ago, and had been crawling for months when it started, so it's not mobility. What else could it be? My only other guess is jealousy about all the attention his older sister is getting for being a kindergartner, but what could I do about that? He is already getting hours of 1 on 1 time a day, and that's not really it (plus not sustainable as it means I have no downtime, and am running out of steam). He's not displaying any other troublesome behaviors, and nothing changes at all. I think his "cup"' is full. He's just doing this.
Anybody else with a compulsive head futzer? What did you do?
I have a 5 yo DD(new kindergartner), 3.75 yo DS, and a 13 month old DD. 3.75 yo DS seems ;fixated on DD2's head. They cannot be unsupervised for even a second, or he starts pulling at her head, twisting her face, sort of wrenching her neck, pulling on the back of her shirt. When we are physically together, if my eyeballs come off him, he is at her. Even if my eyeballs are on him, speaking to him directly, ignoring the baby, he is always almost unconsciously moving toward her to mess with her head. In the hallway picking up kindergartner DD, it is very nearly physically impossible to keep him from her. I have to hold him bodily away, and he is often flailing his arms at her while I do so. Extremely out of character. If I pick up DD2, he pulls on her legs. You get the picture. I don't think it *is* a compulsion, but it reads like compulsive behavior. He has no trouble listening to me about any other topic. Always has listened well in public, except about this. He displays no other sensory type behaviors. Not impulsive for his age, except about this. Wants to play with his sister, generally, gets upset that he can't when he hurts her (though this does not seem to deter him). Of course, she adores him, and would follow him around all day if she could, attempts to wring her neck notwithstanding.
I have tried extra 1 on 1 attention for him(lots and lots! Totally separate from the incidents!), separating them, trying to get him to empathize, giving him jobs about her, taking them all away so he didn't get resentful, etc. It has been going on for about 3 months, so I think I must just be missing the cause. I was thinking sibling rivalry, looking for attention. That's not it. She just started walking 2 weeks ago, and had been crawling for months when it started, so it's not mobility. What else could it be? My only other guess is jealousy about all the attention his older sister is getting for being a kindergartner, but what could I do about that? He is already getting hours of 1 on 1 time a day, and that's not really it (plus not sustainable as it means I have no downtime, and am running out of steam). He's not displaying any other troublesome behaviors, and nothing changes at all. I think his "cup"' is full. He's just doing this.
Anybody else with a compulsive head futzer? What did you do?
