i hate this

[titania8]

i'm just sick. i hate myself and america and doctors and our brainwashed culture.

my sister had a baby boy last year. i had not gotten the courage or the whatever to talk to her about circ before he was born. so what did i do? i went up the the hospital the day after to "hang out" with them before discharge. and blah blah blah they were waiting for him to be circ'd and then they were going to be able to go home. puke. and then i started in with "why would you do that??" and all the reasons not to and you know the drill. it turned into me gently setting the baby (less than 24 hrs old) down in his plastic bin and saying to my sister "well, i guess you guys aren't the people i thought you were". and turning to leave. well, that set me sister off and she said "thanks for loving me so much! (in a very hurt tone) and so we cried and whatever for a while. so they didn't circ the baby. they were going to "hold off for now".

fast forward 20 months.

baby has a hernia. she didn't want to tell me about his upcoming surgery because she was afraid i would "talk her out of it". red flag to me, but ok. surgery was yesterday. you can see where this is going, i'm sure.

talked to sis earlier and it turns out his surgery was more complicated than she originally told me. besides the hernia, he was also circd (i know, you're all as shocked as i was) because "he had gotten a lot of infections in his penis" and his "urine was getting trapped".

and i lost control of my mouth again and said some hurtful things that i regret as much, maybe more, than the hurtful things i said the first time. and i was *expecting* the circ, i really was (though i was expecting "phimosis" as the "diagnosis) and prepared myself for what i would say if/when i found out, but dammit! i didn't say those less hurtful things and now i don't know what's going to become of my relationship with my sister! i hate circ!! why oh why is this even legal!!! not that i'm not responsible for what i say, but i get so worked up about this that i can't think properly.

anyway, i just needed to talk to people who understand and feel the same way i do.

[tutucrazy]

Ballooning is not a complication, it is normal and does not cause infection b/c urine is sterile. I should know b/c my son has ballooned for over a year an never had an infection.

Infections are caused by forcible retraction. I'm guessing someone was doing this for his foreskin to get infected.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...893&highlight=

Print out these pamphlets and give them to her in case she ever has another. Her son was circed for having an absolutely normal penis.

[tutucrazy]

Btw, I'm very sorry this happened to your precious nephew. I know your frustration. I couldn't save my brother's son. (big hugs)

[titania8]

Originally Posted by tutucrazy

Ballooning is not a complication, it is normal and does not cause infection b/c urine is sterile. I should know b/c my son has ballooned for over a year an never had an infection.

Infections are caused by forcible retraction. I'm guessing someone was doing this for his foreskin to get infected.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...893&highlight=

Print out these pamphlets and give them to her in case she ever has another. Her son was circed for having an absolutely normal penis.

oh i know. i asked her about it, and i couldn't quite understand, i was confused by her response. but it doesn't matter, done is done.

[Dev]

titania8: You are a great sister for speaking out and a great aunt for protecting your nephew! So what about having hurt your sisters feelings. You are passionate about protecting babies from circ. and it's understandable to many how and why you reacted. It's an emotional issue for many child rights activists including you. You are well aware that your nephew's circumcision was probably done for "non-medical" reasons and if there was a "medical problem" with his foreskin, 21st century medicine could have treated it without amputating it and throwing it in the garbage!

Your anger should really be directed at the doctor(s) who recommended and performed the circumcision. If ALL doctors respected the genital integrity rights of little boys in our country and if they and their medical associations took the time and effort to educate themselves ..... your nephew would still be intact today and for the rest of his life.

I predict that as more boys escape routine circumcision at birth in the USA, there will be an increase demand by doctors for so called "medically necesary" circumcisions of older boys. Sad but true, at least until the federal law that protects the genitals of little girls is amended to include the protection of little boys' prepuces too. Go to MGMbill.org for more information about changing such legislation.

[Night_Nurse]

[bubbamummy]

Im sorry, I probably would have lost control of my mouth too!

[Yulia_R]

Did your sister know that...

no one should ever retract a baby's foreskin? I bet if she or her doctor did that that is where infections came from.

Balloning is normal.

I suggest you talk to your sister calmly, get to the roots of the problem. This way she won't be circ any future sons just because "it has to be done later".

[titania8]

Originally Posted by Yulia_R

no one should ever retract a baby's foreskin? I bet if she or her doctor did that that is where infections came from.

Balloning is normal.

I suggest you talk to your sister calmly, get to the roots of the problem. This way she won't be circ any future sons just because "it has to be done later".

yea, i plan on talking to her at some point. she's planning on having another baby in a few years. and i know she's going to have another boy- we don't have mixed sibling sets in our family! its the craziest thing.

and here's another gem to this story. apparently, when they got in there they found an "ulcer" from "trapped urine and infections". and his "pee hole kept getting smaller", and that's why his urine couldn't get out.

and you guys, this baby has one tiny penis to begin with. its all so sad. i just hope they didn't take much off. on a bright note, he was completely sedated and is now on liquid vicadin. so at least there's that.

[MommytoB]

The ulcer was proably created by forcible retraction . Was her son peeing just fine ?

[lovemybubus]

Was looking for the little huggy emoticon and can't find it. Hugs to you and your poor nephew. My heart aches for him. I know your pain, I really do. You did good speaking up at least know that you tried.

[RiverSky]

OP, I TOTALLY understand and agree with everything you have said.

I know someone very casually who recently had a baby and circ'd him. I had spoken with her about circ a couple of weeks before he was born, and she said that despite knowing why not, she was letting her DH make the decision again (as with her two older circ'd sons) and it mad me SSSOOOO mad!!! Now, I can't even look at her and don't want to be around her. I feel so bad for her baby but sheer ANGER at the mother. I feel parents have NO RIGHT to mutilate their baby's penises. (^$%^@#*)%*&! It's so maddening. :censor ed

Sorry about your sister. Hopefully she will rethink her stupidity after seeing your very strong reaction.

[Mary-Beth]

My sister had her son circ'd too. It is the hardest thing--still, 4 years later for me to deal with. I tried to convince her. She made her choice though. I love my sister and in many ways feel very close to her...but this issue is a divide between us.

I'm sorry.

[PuppyFluffer]

OP, I am sorry.

Originally Posted by Mary-Beth

My sister had her son circ'd too. It is the hardest thing--still, 4 years later for me to deal with. I tried to convince her. She made her choice though. I love my sister and in many ways feel very close to her...but this issue is a divide between us.

I'm sorry.

MaryBeth, I just wanted to say that she didn't make "her" choice. She stole his choice.

[mummy2jess]

hi

I dont know much about this debate I am in the UK and Circumcision doesnt happen very often here (at least not as far as I am aware!). But in terms of your sister, I find it bizarre that anyone would spend so much time worrying about this tiny peice of skin and cant understand the reasons why you would want to remove it (I was always under the impression it was there to protect the penis but i may be wrong!) BUT I would try not to let it affect your relationship with your sister, its done now and no amount of bad feeling is going to change that.

we have never been given any advice on washing my son in any special way and from what I have heard it is normal for forskin to be tight in a young boy so we just put my son in the bath and leave his little pee pee alone!

I have to ask what is ballooning!?! the onlu thing I can think of is when he is actually peeing and a little bit balloons up in the skin before coming out? is that it??

sophie

[PuppyFluffer]

Mummytojess, it's a very different climate here in regards to circumcision and baby penis care.

Currently, our overseeing infectious disease organization, the Centers for Disease Control, are considering recommending circumcision as a preventative step against HIV infection. Our American Academy of Pediatrics is considering recommending infant circ.

When a baby survives with his foreskin intact, many doctors tell parents to retract the foreskin back to expose the head of the penis to clean it. There is great ignorance in regards to this issue and many babies are injured by this bad advice - their foreskins torn back over and over, infections due to the tears and the formation of scar tissue from the repeat damage which leads to phimosis - a tight non retractible foreskin which then needs a circumcision.

I've wonder about the emotional/mental effect of this ongoing pain inflicted upon a boy's most private and sensitive parts.

Our culture is often very resistant to even hearing the truth about circumcision. It's sad. (I also think our culture has huge body image issues of which the non acceptance of the natural male body is but a part.)

[titania8]

Originally Posted by PuppyFluffer

Mummytojess, it's a very different climate here in regards to circumcision and baby penis care.

Currently, our overseeing infectious disease organization, the Centers for Disease Control, are considering recommending circumcision as a preventative step against HIV infection. Our American Academy of Pediatrics is considering recommending infant circ.

When a baby survives with his foreskin intact, many doctors tell parents to retract the foreskin back to expose the head of the penis to clean it. There is great ignorance in regards to this issue and many babies are injured by this bad advice - their foreskins torn back over and over, infections due to the tears and the formation of scar tissue from the repeat damage which leads to phimosis - a tight non retractible foreskin which then needs a circumcision.

I've wonder about the emotional/mental effect of this ongoing pain inflicted upon a boy's most private and sensitive parts.

Our culture is often very resistant to even hearing the truth about circumcision. It's sad. (I also think our culture has huge body image issues of which the non acceptance of the natural male body is but a part.)

yes, we certainly do have body image issues. for men and women. its all so mind boggling and disgusting and sad. sigh. maybe i'll move to sweden.

[MommytoB]

Originally Posted by mummy2jess

hi

I dont know much about this debate I am in the UK and Circumcision doesnt happen very often here (at least not as far as I am aware!). But in terms of your sister, I find it bizarre that anyone would spend so much time worrying about this tiny peice of skin and cant understand the reasons why you would want to remove it (I was always under the impression it was there to protect the penis but i may be wrong!) BUT I would try not to let it affect your relationship with your sister, its done now and no amount of bad feeling is going to change that.

we have never been given any advice on washing my son in any special way and from what I have heard it is normal for forskin to be tight in a young boy so we just put my son in the bath and leave his little pee pee alone!

I have to ask what is ballooning!?! the onlu thing I can think of is when he is actually peeing and a little bit balloons up in the skin before coming out? is that it??

sophie

Too bad we don't have a foriegn doctor that would know squat but we don't and many american medical professionals especially old school ones were taught that foreskin was full of bacteria if you didn't clean under it in most cases it was the flawed UTI study by Edgar Schoen who still has a incorrect website up there stating that feces get under the foreskin & harbors bacteria to breed there . Before that was when doctors like Kellog yes the same guy with the name on the cereal to prevent males from masturbation by punishing them to not want to touch themselves and they knew then that foreskin was a senstive part of the body but for some reason in the past people were taught masturbation was dirty . He even believed in female circumcision .

Also, there was a thing of 101 stupid reasons to circumcise its called stupid now because it's crazy but they don't add the extra three which many doctors still believe boys with foreskin are more likely to have UTI, there is still a belief of prevention of cancer even though the ACS says it was used to be believed by that but is a flawed study because of how other habbits could have been more of a contributrion to the penile cancer than the foreskin. Next is the STD/HIV beliving that circ prevents or reduces a chance of a circ'ed male getting it if he is intimate with a HIV infected partner but that's crazy #1 usa is highly effective with HIV while low/no-circ countries don't have a high HIV but a low hiv rate but still the american CDC and WHO are trying to revise circumcision to prevent HIV.

Also, American doctors didn't believe that foreskin & the penis were sharing skin together hence the reason of belivable easy retraction assumption they were each a 'seperate part' so then when kids ballooned up which usually occured proably from swelling from forceable retraction leading up to infection and the weird belief of how urine was making it swell instead of the 'actual cause' of real reason of swelling.

Normal type of ballooning is the same type of ballooning as you described unworrisome , sometimes it may even have a pinkish reddish inflammation look during the seperation process and believe me when parents in our american culture have to deal with ignorant doctors and are learning about foreskin for the first time more likely on our baby boys.

Believe me as a first time mom of a intact boy who went through a seperation process 2 months before he was starting to be retractable it like makes sense to assume that there is a problem when you know nothing about it because its a scary sight to see and I thanks TCAC about the knowledge on this so I did the Wait & See . It went away within 24 hrs but many doctors are clueless about the sxs of seperation process kid go through like sxs can vary so much just like the pain can vary to mild to very painful .

Everyone is different but many doctors who do not know normal functions of foreskin will say Infection, say its too tight as in believing it needs to be retractable by a certain age in the past the AAP used to have the No worries of Leave it alone or if its not retractable by the age of 10 but for some reason it got removed .

Now with circumcision had been done so assembly like in the past no one was able to teach about foreskin or even believe they had to teach about foreskin functions because they didn't believe foreskin was around so then all the medical anatomny books were made with diagrams of circ'ed males.

Now foreskin is coming around in our american boys disproving the american doctors beliefs and asking a doctor about foreskin when he/she knows nothing will get you nowhere

[mummy2jess]

hi
I have had a look on the nhs website just in case I was wrong about it being less common overhere (just in case i missed something lol)
aparently in the uk 6% of men are cirumsized so I dont knwo how that compares to other countires.
the NHS advice on it is:

"In England, the NHS doesn't fund ritual circumcision. However, in some areas of the country where there is a high population of ethnic minority groups, ritual circumcision may be carried out on the NHS for a fee. At these clinics, only newborn babies between 6-12 weeks old are circumcised, and the child must be registered with a GP in that area. After consultation, a GP, health visitor, or nurse will make a referral to the clinic. The procedure will not be carried out without the consent of both parents, and following careful consideration of the child's best interests.

Parents who are considering having their son circumcised should be fully aware of the issues and risks involved. The operation involves pain, bleeding, and the possibility of surgical error. Most doctors also urge parents to think about what is best for the child. In cases where the boy is old enough to understand what circumcision means, doctors and parents should consider his feelings and ensure that he is informed about what the procedure involves, the implications of not being circumcised, and any other alternative options."

so seems the exact opposite advice lol

sophie

[MyBoysBlue]

Canada's Circ rate is about 10% ranging by province from 0.1% to about 25%. The US is really the exception when it comes to high rates of Circ for reasons other then religious.