Just wondering if other moms felt this way at first and if it gets better. I have twin newborns and have to say I am not enjoying it as much as I enjoyed having my dd1. I feel like a milk machine and like I don't even really get to enjoy either of the girls that much. With dd1 I just held her, sang to her, stared at her and loved her all day long but with the twins I feel like I am either tandum nursing so they aren't getting 1-1 or I am passing one off to someone so I can nurse the other. I am so exhausted and touched out that, if I can set them down to sleep, I do instead just sitting and enjoying holding them. I find myself thinking a lot about how much easier it would be if I only had one new baby and how much more attention I could be giving one new baby as well as to my 3 year old dd. I have alot of support from dh and my mom who has basically moved in so I am getting sleep and help around the house but I still can't help but think that although I love both girls individually I wish they had arrived separately. I feel guilty that I am not giving them as much attention, then i feel guilty for feeling bad that I wish they had come separately. I just don't see the positives yet. I was so excited to have twins but now I just feel overwhelmed and like my parenting will always be out of a place of survival and "good enough". I am hoping this passes as they get older, that it gets easier to give everyone attention, that I will have time to enjoy mothering more consistently instead of just trying to get by, and that as they start to interact with each other more I will start seeing that there are bennefits for them and my dd1 in being twins instead just feeling like they are getting cheated.
post #1 of 24
9/30/09 at 2:38am