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Is it normal to not love having twins at first? - Page 2

post #21 of 24
I think it is totally normal to feel that way, I know I sure did.

My circumstances were quite a bit different than most. I didn't have 9 months to prepare for one baby, let alone two. I had a matter of hours to get ready. The twins are actually my neice and nephew whom we have now adopted, they were born with drugs in their system and the state stepped in and took custody of them. When they were released from the hospital they came to me. I got a call from the state asking me if I could come pick them up in a couple of hours, having had no idea before then that they were going to have me take them.

I was totally overwhelmed. Not only had my mom died 3 days before the twins were born, but here I was with two new babies to take care of and I was pregnant (although I didn't know it at the time). Talk about EMOTIONAL!!!!

I cried every single day for the first 8 months or so. I was working full time and on the days I worked my 22 yo daughter was there to help with the twins, but on my days off she was at her other nanny job so it was just me with two babies (hubby was working out of town). I remember calling my daughter in tears, saying I just can't do it anymore. Thankfully we had friends close by who when I was at my breaking point would sometimes come over and keep me company and help out by holding a baby. The problem was, I had a REALLY hard time asking for help. I had sooooo many people offer to help, but it was so hard for me to admit to anyone other than my husband and daughter that I was having trouble. I felt like a "should" be able to do it ALL and was embarassed to admit that I couldn't. Looking back, I wish I had taken the help I was offered, I think it would have made a huge difference.

Things got even more hectic when the new baby came. The twins were only 8 months old at the time. The good news was that my daughter had quit her other nanny job so was with us full time and hubby had gotten transferred back home, so while it was hectic things were slowly starting to get easier

The twins are now 3 and Caitlyn is 2 1/2, while life is still hectic, it has gotten much, MUCH easier I am really LOVING this age
post #22 of 24
Welcome to parenting multiples . . .. I don't know if that feeling every totally goes away. I still find myself wondering what it would be like to have more time to focus on this child or that . . . so yes, its normal. I think it is very normal.
post #23 of 24
absolutely normal. I spend the first year wishing i only had one and felt immensely guilty about it too!
But once we got to 6 months for me it got easier. they could sit up, would chew on a crust of bread and it just got easier.

I doubt you believe that now though lol!

Good luck!
post #24 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by TripMom View Post
Welcome to parenting multiples . . .. I don't know if that feeling every totally goes away. I still find myself wondering what it would be like to have more time to focus on this child or that . . . so yes, its normal. I think it is very normal.
That's me, too.
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