DS havings hysterics when I leave for work

[Latte Mama]

Cross posted at Toddlers as well

This is fairly new behavior and I'd like to make it a little less traumatic for him. He's almost 13 months and still non verbal. We get up around 7 and I usually don't leave until 9 so we do have some time together in the morning and I try to have breakfast with him after he nurses.

We have a great setup being that we don't have to use daycare. I work days and DH work eves. So I'm leaving him with his daddy. But lately, at least 2-3 days, about 20 minutes before I go he starts whining and when he knows I'm about to leave he breaks down into sobbing hysterics. I hug him and tell him I'll be back and he'll only calm down UNTIL I put him down and then the drama continues. I shouldn't say drama because I really DO think he's hurting. He won't even let DH console him at this time. I just feel so horrible! DH says he will calm down about 10 minutes after I leave but who wants their baby to sob for that long .

Any suggestions besides lots of extra kisses?

[caenach]

I don't know that I have anything to offer other than empathy!

With us, I'm not sure it's so much about the transition as it is just that DD is not much of a morning person--if she had her way, we'd spend 6am - noon nursing and cuddling in bed or on the couch. She can be very clingy in the morning. Sometimes she'll scream hysterically when DH takes her, for instance, even though she loves spending time with him normally. She's always fine 5 minutes after I leave the house.

For us, it's been a matter of trying to understand her morning issues. Have you done any analysis of what about the mornings, specifically (other than your departure, which is going to have to happen no matter what) might act as triggers for anxiety or clinginess? Any instincts/thoughts on that?

Not sure it will help, but here's what we've done--

--As much of the "prep" work as possible is done the night before by DH and I. I know what clothes we're both going to wear. Lunches are packed. If it's a good week, breakfast is pre-made. In other words, reduce the things that make me hurry so less of that is passed onto DD. Of course, I've gone to work with wet hair 3 days this week, but hey!

--Same events in the same order. Wake up. Read a book in bed together. Potty. Shower. Nurse. Play. Get dressed. Breakfast. I try to intersperse potentially trying activities with the fun ones, to provide breaks.

--Moved some "soothing" activities from night to morning. For instance, we take a shower together every morning. We read a book together in bed when we first wake up--so instead of hurrying to get up, we get to lie there and connect for a few minutes. She gets lotion/massage time after her shower.

--DH helps a lot by playing with DD when I need to get dressed or pack up the lunches.

[Latte Mama]

Thanks for the empathy! You know, I actually could do some more of the *prep* stuff at night which would give us more cuddle time in the morning. As it is now, I usually wait until the last minute, then rush to get ready while DS is following me around.

Maybe even a 2nd nursing session added in right before I leave will help. Thanks again!