NurtureShock

[journeymom]

This guy is being interviewed on Fresh Air today.

NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children

He's talking about progressive dads who know what kind of great dad they want to be, but don't know what to do when inevitably there is conflict.

Also, sleep functions differently in children than in adults. Kids are getting less sleep than we did.

I don't know if the book is primarily about sleep, but his message in the interview is that parents just aren't getting how important sleep is to their kids. He says we've known for years that getting enough sleep is important but the new research shows just how much harm children experience when they loose just a little sleep, like in 15 minute increments.

Interesting.

[christinar]

I read an article in Newsweek a few weeks ago that is excerpted from this book (I think) that was very interesting. It was about kids & racism, and called "See Baby Discriminate": http://www.newsweek.com/id/214989

[journeymom]

Absolutely fascinating!

[christinar]

Here's the New York Times book review: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/04/bo...ooksupdateema3. I didn't catch the interview on NPR, was it good?

[journeymom]

The interview was good but all too brief.

That NY Times review is revealing. There might not be anything new in his book, but apparently he has a knack for packaging information in a very appealing way. I still wouldn't mind reading what he has to say about sibling rivalry, but I'll wait till it's available in the library.

[elanorh]

I have a relative who teaches Child Development and does research on child development issues (early childhood) -- she is using this book as a text for her students this year and recommended it to me.

She's quite AP in her approach to children (although she doesn't like labels) - so I trust her judgment/advice on this sort of thing. It's on my list o' books to read ... finding time to read it will be the trick!

[Valkyrie9]

Originally Posted by christinar

I read an article in Newsweek a few weeks ago that is excerpted from this book (I think) that was very interesting. It was about kids & racism, and called "See Baby Discriminate": http://www.newsweek.com/id/214989

That was a GREAT article. I gave copies of it to a couple of mainstream educators I know, as well as my daughter's Montessori teacher. And I'm making it a point to talk about race with her before she starts making bad assumptions.

I've got this book on my hold list at the library. I'll be interested to see what else it has to say.

[webjefita]

I'm reading the book, it is very interesting! I read half of it in one sitting. It's very easy to read, and very thought provoking as well.

I am really thinking about how and why I shy away from topics, and how to be more explicit in teaching my children (both about race, and about lying, from another chapter!) I think I have thought the same thing, oh if I don't point out race, or oh if I don't talk about lying, my kids will never think about it. I'm wondering how to approach when I think my child may be telling a lie, without labelling them a liar... I think I will combine this with the "attribute positive intent" from Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline (favorite book!): "You wanted me to not get mad about ____ so you told me something that wasn't true. It's more important to tell me what really happened, and I won't be mad, but I'll be happy you told the truth, and we can work something out together." etc.

It'll take awhile to let all this info percolate and see how it integrates with my belief system or what changes I make because of it. I'm learning to shift internally first, then externally... I tend to overreact and go all out on something when I read a parenting book, but now I'm learning to think and sit with it first.

[journeymom]

Originally Posted by webjefita

It'll take awhile to let all this info percolate and see how it integrates with my belief system or what changes I make because of it. I'm learning to shift internally first, then externally... I tend to overreact and go all out on something when I read a parenting book, but now I'm learning to think and sit with it first.

I used to do the same thing! I've relaxed a bit.

Is there a chapter on sibling rivalry? I'm curious about that.

[anamama]

I've heard two radio spots on it so far- I'm really interested in reading it! I find the sleep thing really fascinating. I work in a school, and I think a lot of the students are sleep deprived.

[webjefita]

There is a chapter on sibling rivalry! Very interesting, as well. They basically argue that so many parenting books focus on how to react to or handle sibling conflicts, while they really wanted to look at *why* some siblings get along and others don't. One of their arguments is that so many siblings have not had the opportunities to learn to enjoy each other, iow they are neutral to each other, so they have little to no motivation to learn to get along. They describe a program that teaches siblings to have fun together, and talk about some specific skills that can be taught to siblings, but with the motivation being enjoying their time together. They also say most siblings fight about toys, not about parents' attention.

[webjefita]

Links to the stories on NPR:

Parenting Tips: Praise Can Be Bad; Lying Is Normal

For Parents, The Return Of Tough Love?