Help! How do you not worry?

[Tres]

I just need some advice, from been there done that Momma's and other zen folks. I can't seem to stop stressing about this pregnancy!

Any advice appreciated!

[evobaby]

What parts are you stressing about? Nutrition? Possibility of mc?

It helps me to remind myself that my body and the baby know exactly what to do. This is an entirely physiological experience that is beyond your control (like labour too). It's fascinating to me that you can do something as complicated as build another person without even thinking about it! Anyway, I find it helps to trust the process and try not to stress about that raw fish I ate last week

[Tres]

The possibility of mc mostly, but also, since I've had cramping, I worry about ectopic etc.

I know worrying won't do me much good, but its hard not to

[NicolleLynne]

Three suggestions...

One, like Evo said, surrender yourself to the process because at this point, there's very little you can do to influence things one way or the other. Take good care of yourself and try to take each day as it comes. Remind yourself that today, at this moment, everything is okay and whatever tomorrow brings is beyond your control, good or bad it will come whether you've stressed over it or not.

Two, resist the urge to overindulge in online research. There is so much scary stuff out there it's easy to frighten yourself silly. If you're really concerned about something talk it over with your midwife or OB.

Three, keep in mind that the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor that come next summer you'll be holding a beautiful new baby in your arms!

Hope this helps! Good luck!!!

[cormama]

It's really hard sometimes when you know what 'could' happen. I was really excited with my first pregnancy and not thinking about m/c at all, but when I got preg again that was on my mind BIG time. Just take it one day at a time and if anything more serious comes up call your OB/MW. I had ovarian pains with my first and sometimes they were really painful..to the point that I was doubled over. I had NO complications whatsoever with that preg. I have the book Your Pregnancy Week by Week and I really liked having something where I could track the baby's growth. It kept me pretty calm

[bdoody11]

As a miscarriage survivor, I understand the feeling can be overwhelming. I'm finding it helpful to have a short mantra that I repeat to myself when I'm feeling panicked. Mine is, "God, please give me wisdom and strength throughout this pregnancy." It could be anything really that gives you peace.

I also try to remind myself that my baby won't grow faster, stronger and my betas won't double faster the more I worry. Then I try to center myself.

NicolleLynne is right, the odds are very good you will be holding your beautiful baby next June. Try to take a deep breath and enjoy it!

[Traceround]

I admit that I am scared. This is my very first pregnancy after trying for so many years. If anything goes awry, not only do we lose this child but we lose a tremendous amount of money and time and effort that went into our fertility treatments.

[tabby1678]

I am very scared too and I regret telling everyone as soon as I found out. My RE and nurse don't seem concerned but my low betas have me really worried. I appreciate the excellent advice in this thread. I plan on spending less time worrying and googling and more time listening to music/guided meditations and relaxing.

Love this thread!

[GoBecGo]

I've lost 4 babies, and carried one to term. My last miscarriage was 7 weeks ago. I'll tell you, i'm scared...BUT...for some reason the miscarrige has reminded me to surrender to the wonder and mystery of the whole process. Totally TMI but when i lost the placenta of our last teeny baby (i was 6+4 when the miscarriage bgan, 7+a few when it was complete) i just looked in wonder at this flesh that was not mine though came from me, was not DP's though came from him and realised what a miracle we're really hoping for. Of the back of that i feel strangely peaceful just now. I have lost a lot of babies, and i know i will survive if i lose another one, as much as the thought terrifies me. I feel sort of graced with strength and every morning i think well, TODAY i am still pregnant, and try to enjoy that feeling, lest it should be gone all too soon.

I would also second resisting the urge to google. In my pregnancy with DD i had:
ectopic pregnancy (turned out to be round ligament pain)
imminent miscarriage (turned out to be normal early pregnancy cramping)
ectopic pregnancy again (um, yeah, i needed to go #2! :redface )
pre-term labour (was actually gas pain)
more pre-term labour (was an irritated bladder and a touch of dehydration)
baby died in womb (she was asleep, getting ready for the Big Birth Day, and kicked very grumpily for 3 hours when my ice-juice and prodding finally woke her up - she still sleeps like the dead even now!)

MDC is your friend, google is your enemy!

[caro113]

Originally Posted by Tres

The possibility of mc mostly, but also, since I've had cramping, I worry about ectopic etc.

I know worrying won't do me much good, but its hard not to

When I was pregnant with DD I had horrible cramping. I was convinced it was ectopic. I couldn't move; I cried every night; DP tried to literally drag me to the hospital. It was horrible. Turns out, it was nothing. DD is 1 year old and a fabulous baby who started walking in July and was standing up, reaching for door knobs in May.

If you are really concerned, go see your MW or OB. They can always do an ultrasound, especially if your baby, like DD, decides to hide so even at 11w 4d the heartbeat still can't be found without an ultrasound. (To this day, she still hides everywhere. Can't put her down at a store without her running to the other side in a matter of seconds. But it's all good.)

Good Luck to you!!

[caro113]

Originally Posted by GoBecGo

In my pregnancy with DD i had:
baby died in womb (she was asleep, getting ready for the Big Birth Day, and kicked very grumpily for 3 hours when my ice-juice and prodding finally woke her up - she still sleeps like the dead even now!)

Ditto. DD didn't move for over a day. Prodding wasn't waking her. Food, juice, ice, candy wasn't waking her. Nothing. Then, finally, she moved. It was about two weeks before she was born. Although she doesn't sleep as well as your DD.