Arg arg arg arg arg!

[karlugato]

I am incredibly frustrated. My kindergartener was sent home today early and is suspended for 1 day for the 2nd time this year. The school only has full day kindergarten and I think my kiddo is worn out and going a little stir crazy. This time, he didn't want to read at reading center and pushed his book away. He got a time out for this and was sent to the coat closet to cool off. While in there, (I don't know if the door is left open, I imagine it is) he grabbed his coat and proceeded to throw it at the teacher. I guess he said he hates her and wished she was dead along with the principal and anyone else who talked to him. He tried to run out of the classroom and run out of the school. I just don't know. The classroom structure is way too rigid for kindergarten. Blah. This is more of a vent than anything. I will likely just keep him home and homeschool him.

[mysticmomma]

sounds like he's not ready for that environment.

[karlugato]

I think I will look around at schools and maybe get lucky to find something that offers half day kindergarten. He has been so cranky after school since he started and it has just been getting worse.. poor kiddo. I understand that the teacher is overwhelmed, but I think maybe they should loosen up on the rigid curriculum a bit. Douglass never feels like he finishes anything because they are always moving him on to something else. When I was in kindergarten, all I remember is play cooking, sand and water table, and nap!

[Madders]

They send children into a coat closet as a punishment?! I would be having a talk with the principal and teacher over that.

[MCR]

the coat closet is punishment. I would be very pissed if that was done to one of my kids, and swinging the coat in temper and telling someone they hate them seems very age appropriate somehow.
Is there any way to cut him down to half days? Maybe pick up before they lie down for a nap (if they have one)
Our school is now full days, they nap from 12 to 1 or 1.30 and play till home time, I'd have no qualms about picking up at 12 if I wanted too. They only did this to save on bussing the K's then coming back for 1-6th grade.

[lotusdebi]

I can't imagine suspending a Kindergartener. Especially for such a minor thing! And the coat closet? Wow.
In my state, you can defer Kindergarten for a year. I honestly wish more people would do that. I think that full-day, structured Kindergarten is far too much for most five-year-olds. Especially the more active kids. Is that an option in your area? Or, perhaps, is school not technically required yet at his age? I'm a big believer in and supporter of homeschooling, and I think that's also a terrific choice. You may want to list other reasons to homeschool that aren't all because of negative school experiences. It may help on the more difficult days, if that's the path you choose.
Whatever you decide, I think you should have some conversations with the school principal. Good luck!

[blizzard_babe]

Yeek, coat closet?! That's bizarre and pretty icky. Not saying that the coat-swinging, hateful speech, etc. are appropriate, but the coat closet thing is way not cool, at least as described.

[Emmeline II]

My kindergarder has done worse, much worse. Dh had to go in for a conference the first week, dh had to go on his lunch hour once, and the teach has called home 3-4 times. Things were much better by week three and we are down to one red circle a week. Ds is far ahead on reading and reasoning, but his social skills and ability to follow rules have needed a lot of work; though we believe it is more his personality than an issue of "readiness" for him.

If you can I would go in and observe a day then sit down with the teacher and figure out what can be done to help school work for him. My son's teacher came to it as a second career and she is VERY patient and really works hard to help school work for ds.

Also, though your child may not be the mandatory age for school, once you put them in school they will likely have to be formally withdrawn for homeschooling.

[Jennifer3141]

I'm sorry. I think I misunderstood. He was sent to a CLOSET for punishment? And they then don't understand his tantrum???

Wow. In my opinion, you need to get into this school and observe what's going on much more. And suspending him? Good. Keep him the heck out of there until you figure this out.


This must be so stressful!

[bugginsmom]

Coat closet? Seriously? There seems to be a lot wrong with that school on a couple of different levels. A kindergartner getting suspended for that? My son would be pulled out so fast and then I would have a lengthy discussion with the administration and school board about proper discipline and behavior management in a school setting. In no way shape or form would my child go back to an environment like that. Hugs, mama!

[karlugato]

Little update...

Well, it's a *nice* coat closet. I figured that they put him in there (hopefully with the door open, although I am not sure) to cool off or something but really, it seems as more as a PUNISHMENT for being naughty and not a way that they were trying to work with him... I don't know.
I went in yesterday evening to talk to the principal and I really don't see any hope for this working out. I suggested half days or every other days. She replied that it would probably frustrate Douglass since he'd get behind the other kids. I made the point that he is already frustrated, and she really didn't have a response to that. It seems evident that they do not want to be flexible and work with me a little bit.
I also suggested possibly switching teachers, as the one he is with now just doesn't seem like a good fit for him. She directly said that they would NOT try that, we just don't do that. I nearly started crying and told her that she really wasn't giving me any options and I have no other ideas. She will be talking to his teacher today while he is suspended..(goodness gracious) and seeing what they come up with. I will likely just homeschool him as I see this is going nowhere.
I have been homeschooling my oldest and he wanted to go so he went this year, and since big brother went Doug wanted to go too, of course. This really shouldn't be a big thing but since we get food stamps we also get free breakfast and lunch for school kids and we have been able to save quite a bit since he's been in school.... I shouldn't mind though, as homeschool will likely just be better for him right now.
The kindergarten here is so.. rigid. I guess since I have been home/kid led schooling, that it is a drastic jump in styles.. oy. The teacher seems overwhelmed as well and ALWAYS needs volunteers. I would have loved to help out but with my other 2 little ones tagging along, I'd imagine I would be more of a hindrance than a help. I feel a lot better though, just knowing that other people didn't think that it seemed right.
Any ideas to end the closet banishing for other kiddos? I may at least bring it up even though they really just... ugh... essentially ignore what I say. I will post again after I hear from the principal again. Thanks for the input, it's really helpful to bounce stuff off of others! -Lisa

[allnaturalmom]

First of all...

First and foremost you need to address the classroom management of your son's class. A student should never, and I mean NEVER, for any reason be sent to a closet as punishment! EVER! And I don't care if it's nice and designer decorated in Ralph Lauren or if it's called cooling off! As a former teacher this just infuriates me. It sounds like you didn't get very far w/the principal. This doesn't surprise me. "Usually" the principal w/back up the teacher, not in all cases, but usually. And since the principal didn't like any of your options, you need to go further. You should set up a conference w/the guidance counselor and you need to take someone else w/you... Your husband, dp, or child's father - someone. You should discuss the incident and ways to prevent it from happening in the future, but seriously I would have it noted that you never want him sent to a closet again.... for any reason. You need to let them know that this is not acceptable. Now, the GC should be able to come up w/some ideas and/or strategies to help him adjust to a school setting or whatever is going on. He/She should also have some better behavior modification techniques customized just for him. If, in the long run, this doesn't work out then you need to go to the administration. You need to keep going up the ladder until you receive satisfactory answers/treatment. I would never say/threaten that homeschooling is an option, it won't get you anywhere and trust me, when they hear this they think 'good' one less thing we have to deal with. They will stop trying hard to accommodate you/your son's needs. It's sad, but usually true.
Good luck to you mama. I know this seems like a big ordeal, but kids have trouble adjusting in school all the time. You just need to tap into the right resources to help him succeed.
hth

[karlugato]

Originally Posted by allnaturalmom

I would never say/threaten that homeschooling is an option, it won't get you anywhere and trust me, when they hear this they think 'good' one less thing we have to deal with. They will stop trying hard to accommodate you/your son's needs. It's sad, but usually true.

It actually did come up and you are absolutely right. The principal actually seemed relieved that this was what I was considering. I will recant on this to them and keep it an option to myself from now on. I just don't want to let this go and this continue on for other kiddos. On a good note, my older kiddos' teacher is really nice and flexible.. so the whole school isn't bad I suppose.
The Principal will be calling me in the next hour, or so I am told. If that isn't helpful I will try to set something up with the guidance counselor per your suggestion, I didn't really even think to go anywhere else other than the principal with this. Thanks for the hugs

[eepster]

To prevent students in the future being sent to the closet, I would start up a letter writing campaign to the school board. Try to get in touch with other parents whose kids have been sent to the closet. The school board members are elected, so if people are unhappy with them, they can vote them out at the next election.

Are there any other options in your area? Charter or magnet schools? or possibly scholarships at private schools?

[lindberg99]

Oh my goodness!! I don't get why he was sent to time out just for pushing his book away? That seems a bit extreme to me. I could see the teacher saying something to him but putting him in a closet?? Yikes.

I think I would be homeschooling too. I can see your point about the free breakfast and lunch helping but yeah, it's not worth it with putting up with all that. Maybe your son would be ready to go back for 1st grade so it's not like homeschooling has to be a really long term solution, right?

[rabrog]

Where are you in KS? I know some areas are full day only for K now. If you have a choice of half day and can move him, I'd try that first. Seems the teacher is too rigid and would do better with an older class.

Jenn

P.S. I'm interested in where you're at because I grew up in Wichita.

[lauren]

It would be great if this school could check into positive behavioral supports. If they used this model, this situation would have never happened.

http://www.kipbs.org/new_kipbs/index.html

[PoetryMom]

I thought you had to bring firearms to school or something like that to get suspended.

Is Montessori an option - there's no coat-closet-putting-in.

[sunflower.mama]

Is the coat closet really a closet? In my son's classroom there is an area of the classroom with hooks and cubbies - separate but really still part of the room. It would be logical to put a child there for time out since it's segregated but the child could still be seen.
Am I the only one here *a little disturbed* by throwing a coat at a teacher, saying he hates her and wishes she was dead? I would be appalled if my child said that to anyone, let alone a teacher.
I can envision several versions of a child pushing a book off a table. Some are more disruptive than others...I'd want more info before blaming the teacher for being too strict.
Is it possible that the issue goes beyond blaming the "structure" of the K classroom? This child needs to learn how to behave appropriately around teachers. Would it be an option to put him in a preschool this year and do K again next year when the setting is not so distressing to him?

[freestyler]

Well, I don't like the sound of the school. (And I also agree with Sunflower Mama, the little guy should learn some boundaries.) But mostly, I think the setting sounds just AWFUL and I would definitely pull his little self out ASAP and homeschool if it is an option. Yikes. I mean, he's only a little guy. But do make sure you talk about boundaries with him.