Arg arg arg arg arg! - Page 3

[Jennifer Z]

Originally Posted by Ellien C

First let me say that I'm a pro-school kind a gal. My parents were teachers, DH and I both had good public school educations and we're very pleased with our "technically failing NCLB" schoo.

Now that I got that bias out of way - OMG! What is WITH your school?

I can totally see a verbal 5-yo with big emotions expressing what they were feeling at the moment. In fact, I have that 5 yo. We had a lot of "red days." I think one week had 3 red days - all for, basically talking mean. We got through it.

Did the school know you were home schooling and are you getting some bias from that? That's my first thought. The whole situation just sounds unreal - you suspend a 5 yo for 1 incident of verbal abuse? We had special needs kids in the class who bit and punched kids. They got an aid, and occasionally sent to the office. No one was ever suspended, that I know of. Not at 5!

I knew we had one kindy teacher who structured and one who was less structured. And while my neighbor knew her kid needed a short leash and knew we would NOT do well with rigid structure.

And filing a police report? I would think it should be the other way around. I think they just don't want you in the school and have some HS bias.

That is because it is treated differently in regular ed vs SpEd. If you are in the SpEd program they can't suspend you if the behavior arose out of a disability, and for a lot of kids, their disability includes poor impulse control and violent behavior. For a lot of kids their IEPs include behavior goals and they actively work to encourage positive behavior. SpEd kids have a lot of protection that regular ed kids don't, largely because they need it a lot more protection, both from students and staff that would rather not be inconvenienced by a child who doesn't fit nicely into their little systems.

However, filing police reports is fairly common in this area, both for SpEd and Regular Ed. It really makes my stomach lurch when the police were called in to my son's school for an older child's autistic meltdown. Contributed to me pulling him to homeschool.

[karlugato]

wrote Asst superintendent...

I couldn't find any contact info for the superintendent so she had to do..I feel my letter is a bit wishy washy, I guess I am just a little tired. Now I am waiting for a response..I hope this situation gets somehow resolved...

Hello *****!
I am a parent of 4 kiddos, 2 who have just started elementary school at ******. My kindergartener, Douglass, has been having some problems in the past couple of weeks, including 2 1 day suspensions. Since the escalation I requested half days, which the principal was reluctant to grant but finally decided to work with us. I was very appreciative of this gesture, and told my son (5 years old) that he would start half days after we discussed some paperwork and finalized it all. Douglass was under the impression that his half days started on Monday (Oct 5th). He hadn't had any problems this day. The teacher was out of the room and the kids were unsupervised. (This is a BIG concern of mine, that the principal brags about her smartboards but can't seem to afford aides) He saw other half day kids transitioning and got his coat and walked out of the school. I am under the impression that he went out with these other preschool, half day kids. He ended up walking to the gate and waiting there until security personnel unlocked it (the gate leads to the housing area of the base)for all of the little ones. The security asked him who he was and where his mother was. He said that he wasn't allowed to talk to strangers and I guess around this time he saw his principal walking towards the gate. He ran away at this point trying to get home.... They eventually caught him after a few blocks. The principal called me to inform me of her filling out a police report where no police report was warranted. The police didn't ask her to do this, she just wanted to document the incident officially. I feel that she is just trying to intimidate me so she doesn't get in trouble for not properly supervising the children in her building. I think I am just so exasperated and frustrated and needed to voice some concerns.
I have pulled him out because I am so worn out talking to her when she really doesn't seem to care about this. If you'd like me to describe the other two incidents I would be happy to. I just would like to send this ASAP and like to know what your ideas are. I am prepared to inform other parents as it is rather scary knowing that no one was there to supervise. The teacher was out of the room tending a bloody nose. I would think they would have something set up so if this situation occurs, the kids are not unattended, especially kindergarteners. I am concerned for the other kiddos there. Thank you for your time, I eagerly await your reply. -Lisa Sutton

Hmm... I don't really know what good it will do, I just don't know. Blah.
Eepster, you make a very good point about the closet, I didn't even really think of it that way.. I will update when I hear from her.

[Heavenly]

Have you sent it already? Did you actually write the word "kiddos"? That is incredibly informal for the type of issue you are trying to deal with. I would rewrite it to sound more formal but if you've already sent it then it's obviously too late.

The school definitely has issues but your son is acting out and IMO needs to be dealt with on that.

[Violet2]

I'm so glad you wrote that letter because your DS being home really doesn't resolve the problem kwim? The school sounds absolutely horrifying and I'm sure other parents would be grateful for you speaking up if they knew what had happened.

I think the letter is fine. It's low key and factual without being emotional. Kiddos is informal, but it doesn't bother me and I don't think it will stand in the way of your message.




V

[bugginsmom]

Unbelievable, mama. Big hugs to you and your sweet little guy. I agree that homeschooling is what is best for him. I hope you can help him work through this.

[imagine21]

As a teacher, mom and union representative, you must file a formal complaint against the teacher with the district office about the children being unsupervised. I suspect that this teacher has had problems in the past and that this is an ongoing problem for the administration. Perhaps you can ask around and see if parents of former students have had issues with this teacher. There is NO EXCUSE for any teacher to leave children unsupervised and at risk; and such young children. You must make a face to face appointment with the superintendent and if I were you I would have an attorney send a letter on your behalf outlining the rights of your child and your family and the responsibilities of the school and district to keep your child safe. At this point they are hoping that you will pull your child out of school. I would not; but I would DEMAND a teacher change as the present teacher is incapeable of keeping your child safe. Once a lawyer makes contact, you should not have any additional problems with the administration; it will just be easier for them to change the teacher.

[octobermom]

I haven't read past the first few posts. but wow mama I'm so sorry he is going through that. Refusing to read is so NOT suspension worthy. If my DD (first grade) refuses to participate I just get a litttle notice in her planner stating it that is it.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...m/100_1014.jpg SHe once lost a "recess" (there short one in the afternoon they get 2 others) which I wasn't thrilled over but even that one she pushed it a LOT before the teacher got to that point and then she spent the 10 mintues sitting in the shade coloring pictures eating a snack and talking with friends shse just couldn't go onto the equipment.
Deanna

[Violet2]

Originally Posted by imagine21

As a teacher, mom and union representative, you must file a formal complaint against the teacher with the district office about the children being unsupervised. I suspect that this teacher has had problems in the past and that this is an ongoing problem for the administration. Perhaps you can ask around and see if parents of former students have had issues with this teacher. There is NO EXCUSE for any teacher to leave children unsupervised and at risk; and such young children. You must make a face to face appointment with the superintendent and if I were you I would have an attorney send a letter on your behalf outlining the rights of your child and your family and the responsibilities of the school and district to keep your child safe. At this point they are hoping that you will pull your child out of school. I would not; but I would DEMAND a teacher change as the present teacher is incapeable of keeping your child safe. Once a lawyer makes contact, you should not have any additional problems with the administration; it will just be easier for them to change the teacher.

Please do hold them accountable momma. The next kid that escapes may not be so lucky.

Strength to you momma.

V

[aniT]

I have only read the OP posts.. and I see she already pulled her son. However I just wanted to add.. that if the principal is that ridged I would get all of my children far far from that school!!! I have dealt with a school like this... when my oldest was in full day K back in 1998!! She was constantly in trouble for stupid things. She would get sent to the office for lunch (and no one would tell me this til after the fact) for things like calling the teacher stupid. She insisted she said what they were doing was stupid. For "pretending to bite another student." Her and her friends were pretending to be dogs.

This ridiculousness continued into first grade. She was again kept in for recesses, she almost lost a field trip to the pumpkin patch because "I" forgot to send her home work packet back that day. Someone decided she could go and when I talked to the principal and told her I wasn't happy that it was even being considered that she be kept home because I forgot to send her homework back I was told that it was DD's responsibility to remember to bring it back on Fridays. I was like umm she is 6! She doesn't realize it is IS Friday half the time.. let alone that her home work is due! And it was remembered, sort of.. I put it on the table that morning and thought it was in her back pack. After some more problems with this first grade teacher I asked to have her move.. they refused. they told me that I needed to learn that there were two sides to every store.. What DD said.. and then reality. She also went on to say since I was a transfer from out of district that if I didnt like it, I could go somewhere else. So as soon as I left her office that day.. I went to the school closest to DH's work, talked to them, they said since DH worked in district I was "in district" and she could transfer right away. On Monday I moved her (let her finish off the week to say goodbye to friends.) And she has never ever had another problem in school since. She is a Jr. in high school this year!!

I have had my children in more than 8 different schools and I have found the more ridged this staff the worse the school. Get your children out ASAP and never look back. If you don't want to home school, transfer to another school.

Good luck and let us know what the district says.

[karlugato]

Little update...
I have been keeping Douglass at home. The assistant superintendent was kind when I spoke with her, but rather dismissing and sided with the school. Even if I don't put Douglass back in, I want the safety issue of Douglass just leaving and nobody noticing to be addresssed, as it could happen to anyone and it should really be taken care of.
I contacted a social worker and as I write this she should be having a meeting with the principal, teacher, school social worker, and someone else. I just wasn't up for going as I thought I may get too emotional. I will hear from the social worker about my concerns after they conclude their meeting. If I ever feel comfortable, I may send him back if anything gets addressed. Oy. It's just been stressful... they put it off until now to have a meeting and it seems like they are just making sure everyone has the same story and getting their ducks in a row, so to speak. I will just take it from what happens today to see how I will procede. I'm not going to just let them off easily, as it's really a safety of all the kids now, and not just my kiddo. I am so glad that I have so many supportive voices. If I had not posted I would have thought that I may have just been making a bigger deal of it then needed, but I am glad that I am following through. Thank you everyone! -Lisa

[mom2ponygirl]

I'm glad your little guy is safe at home - enjoy your time together! I hope they make some changes, but it does sort of seem like they are trying their best not to. :-(

[Marcee]

Glad you little guy is home with you. I hope the district sees this as a oppurtunity to makes some reforms, but I doubt it. I am still in awe that they are using a coat closet. Our school uses the Make Your Day program and they make children face the wall in the class or hallway, which I think is bad enough, but a closet?? And I second the ladies outrage at your son disappearing and no one noticing. That is outrageous. My daughter was lost by the local private Christian school and found wandering by the highway and the teacher did not even notice that she was gone. She was then lost by her new school less than a week later, but at least they placed the blame with the people that are truly responsible, the school adults. Sounds like the district that you are in needs a reality check.

[Minarai]

Originally Posted by mom2ponygirl

Particularly K, it is not even required in most places.

I beg to differ. Here, full-day kindergarten is required, and I'm not so sure about preschool- they've been erecting public "early childhood schools" all over the place, and from what I've seen they run all day.

What on earth is the principal thinking? You are taking the problem away, you'd think she'd be happy about it. I guess it comes down to dollars.

You hit that nail right on the head. Schools are greedy by nature and want to milk parents for as much cash as they can. Homeschooling is seen as a threat to their job security; thus it is widely discouraged and is extremely difficult because of all the anti-HS propaganda campaigns run over the years. (I was HSed for 7 years; I was a witness to all this.)

What in the world is the police report about? How the school failed to keep a child safe?

My best bet would be a CPS report against OP.

[Emmeline II]

What was the outcome of the meeting with the SW?

[mattemma04]

I would go with HSing. K is not like it was for us.It will just be harder in 1st and so on.More work,more rules.K is supposed to be the fun first year at school!

Hope things work out.It is the end of the year,but don't feel like you have to keep him in school.I was so glad when I pulled my ds out of K.Should have done it when it became clear the school would just ignore his needs.