Originally Posted by SoCaliMommy
I'm sure i'll get flamed for this but
I'm sorry but why be a SAHM if your going to hire a Nanny? That makes no sense at all.
I've had a baby and toddler at the same time and also dealing with bad ppd and managed without hiring a nanny.
My 3 yr old is currently in a preschool program through our city, it's only 5days a wk 8:30- 10:45,gives me time to do housework without my toddler around and time to take the dog to the dog park sometimes.
Maybe if you had had some extra support you wouldn't have had such bad ppd. Maybe for some people they need to do more than just "manage". Why do you need your toddler to be separated from you to do housework and take the dog to the dog park? Other people manage to do both just fine, are you just being lazy and only thinking of your own convenience?
Or maybe is this just something that gives you enough recharge and a nice thing to do for yourself, and you should be able to enjoy it without other people saying "OMG why would anyone do THAT?!?!?!?! I just don't understand it!!!"
I don't understand lots of things. I don't think anyone in this life is ever going to understand everyone and everything. Do you really need to in order to treat people with empathy and compassion? What makes sense for you is not going to make sense for everyone else. I had twins 17 months after I had my daughter. I suffered from severe chronic pain for 2 years after my last birth, as well as depression and (I think anyway) PTSD. I didn't hire a nanny either, but my hubby is a WAHD and a co-parent in every way except for breastfeeding. If he had not been home it would have been abusive and neglectful for me to just muddle through with no help at all so that I could uphold my (original) ideal that SAHM means you're the one who does it all. The universe had a different lesson to teach me (but I am hard-headed, I don't learn compassion generally until I am quite thoroughly put into shoes I thought that I'd be able to avoid).
I'm glad that apparently you managed just fine. That is good. And not every SAHM who hires a nanny is doing so because of mental/physical illness, of course.
But again, I just don't understand why people have a need to make a very small box for "SAHM" and try to reject anyone who doesn't fit inside it. I'm sure there are some people right here who would say to me I'm not a 'real' SAHM because hubby works from home, so obviously I wasn't doing all and being all! Maybe we should create a new category--SAHAM. Stay At Home ALONE Mom. :P Otherwise, who cares who's at home with the mama? Partners, parents, aunties, uncles, neighbors, friends, nannies, ect.--they can all be part of a vibrant and loving household. I can imagine so many ways I could have used a part time nanny while SAHMing, especially since I have more than one kiddo and because I was so sick for so long.