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No Goody Bags - Page 3

post #41 of 75
Sometimes we do goody bags, sometimes we don't. Sometimes we get goody bags, sometimes we don't. The kids don't seem to notice either way, but that may be because they're a little younger (3-5). I will say, however, that even when I do goody bags, 50% of the time I forget to hand them out and have to pass them out later.
post #42 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellinghamCrunchie View Post
My DD cried all the way home when she went to a party that didn't have goody bags (she's 4.5). A few of the other kids were disappointed, too. It didn't seem to matter that they had a fun time and had cake and ice cream and played games. She didn't get over it quickly, either. Four months later she's still trying to process that she didn't get a goody bag. Its like goody bags are now part of the american birthday party ritual, and some kids aren't able to be flexible to deviations from that.

I wish goody bags had never been introduced I like old-fashioned cake and ice cream parties and fun and that's that. But it seems to mean a lot to DD to get that darn bag, and I am not going to take her to another party where I know she won't be able to not feel hurt and disappointed. Better to just skip it.
I am not sure how you are going to "implement" this unless you are going to ask the host before accepting the invitation? Also, if that were my DD, despite the tears, I would welcome the opportunity to teach an important lesson that the purpose of a party is to enjoy time with somebody and celebrate their special day. It is not about gifts or goody bags. How will your DD ever learn that it OK to NOT receive a "gift" if she only goes to parties where she will get one? Also, life is full of small disappointments and we cannot shelter our kids from them forever. I think that it gets easier for them to process as time goes by, not just because they are older, but because they have faced such experiences in the past and it is not so "devastating" but part of life.

DD has been to dozens of birthday parties and does not expect a goody bag, but of course is plenty thrilled if she does get one. That said, I am not averse to goody bags and have done some "nice" ones myself. For DD's 2nd bithday, I gave bath crayons and a small bath toy. For her third birthday, I gave coloring books and colored pencils. For her 4th birthday, I did the same. We are actually having DD's 5th birthday party today. As we are in the process of an international relocation and the movers came yesterday and packed up all her toys, I think that I will get some craft materials that the kids can use at the party and then take home afterwards, together with a balloon (which I also give out every year).
post #43 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by karemore View Post
We've been to a lot of parties in the past few years and we have always come home with a goodie bag or some token.

It would be noticed here and the kids would be disappointed if there wasn't something. Even a balloon would be fine, a flower to plant, an extra cupcake they decorated, all those are fine substitutes for a plastic bag with plastic junk.

I don't mind the plastic junk bags either. I put them in a large bag in the closet and when we are heading on a road trip I mix them all up and pull them out at intervals to entertain DD, it works great.
Oooo, fabulous idea!
post #44 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by CanBoo View Post
I like what Cht MC said...
I did not used to be in favour of a goody bag, but I now like them. It is the easiest way to bring back DD1 to the car after all the fun.
In the past I've also given a single inexpensive toy per child, which is the same as the goodie bag in my mind too.
It doesn't have to be just sugar and crappy toys. My DH cousin put socks in the ones from her son's 3rd b-day along with a juice box. All the kids were happy with that.


We had a pinata at ds' party so the kids brought home what they picked up from that and one of the helium balloons.

Even when I was a kid, you got to keep your party hat and noise maker, if nothing else. That seemed so special.
post #45 of 75
I hate them.

We do not give them and frankly, I do not care at all what other people think about it. Although, no one has ever complained about it. To me anyway. We do "no gift" parties so there is no need to "pay" for the gifts. And I would be mortified if dd threw a fit because she did not get a goody bag.

Games, cake, ice cream, and all of the other fun associated with parties should be more than enough. No need to toss some more environmental or unhealthy garbage into the system.
post #46 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyFillingQuiver View Post
We had no candy whatsoever at the party..they had tea sandwiches, tea and lemonade and cake. No one complained or anything.
We just had dd's 5th birthday and one little 5 yr old girl came up to me and demanded her candy! I said "what candy???" (honestly confused!), and she said how since it was a birthday party there had to be candy. She was pretty pissed, lol! Seemed weird to me. I don't ever give my kids candy (I mean they get it occasionally, but I've never had it lying around the house or anything) and it never would have crossed my mind to give candies to the kids at the party. I figure pizza, snacks, juice and cake was enough!

And on the goody bag front.... I really wanted to not do them for dd's b-day but I caved at the last minute because I know that they are expected around here. I gave each kid a container of playdough and a little animal cookie cutter and it went over well. If I had more energy I would have done something more crafty with the kids (my friend had a great idea of taking a pic of each kid with the birthday girl when they arrive, then later on decorate frames, print out the photos, and send them home with the pic in the frame). That said I really don't think dd would notice if not give a goody bag at a party.
post #47 of 75
I don't really feel one way or the other about them. If DS were to go to a bday party, he wouldn't be upset by not getting anything when he left. I do know that K would certainly enjoy all the little things.

If I were to do party favors, I would do crayons and a notebook, maybe coloring book (K doesn't like them, hence the notebook). But reading through this did give me an idea for K's bday-if we have a party. I had been planning to melt down all of K's broken crayons soon, then give him a new box. I'll save the crayons and melt them down before his birthday and used the melted crayons as favors.

Also, along the lines of taking a picture and doing a frame, etc., for K's first birthday thank you cards, I used a picture for each card that had K and the child/person the present was from. And those who weren't there got a general collage picture (did it through Shutterfly).
post #48 of 75
I've never done them. Honestly they just aren't in my budget. When DS gets invited to parties most times he ends up leaving the goodie bag because they are junk around here. They may be 'expected' but I never did them. I figured cake and snacks was enough.

OP i just read your other post about the actual part and I'm so sorry the guests were so rude... thats just wrong on so many levels.
post #49 of 75
I hate goody bags and always give out a take home item instead. This year I got cheap canvas bags at christmas tree shops (regional store) and let the kids decorate...then my son passed out a few items such as pencils and a small ball...to go inside. I am forever throwing out the junky stuff my kids get in goody bags.
I do agree that there is an expectation that children take something home, and frankly, it makes the end of the party go smoother.
post #50 of 75
Weather to give goody bags or not is completely up to the host. DD would neither expect one or be upset if she did not get one.

We have not always had a typical birthday party for DD, but the 3 we had did include favors. I have always felt that favors should somehow go with the party.

Her 1st birthday included her 3 friends and their parents. All the kids got a balloon tied to a bag with crayons, paper and play doh. It was my way of being certain that there was something to do and all of the kids had their own.

2nd birthday party just had balloons. Every one went home with a candy/cookie/brownie doggie bag too.

5th birthday had bags filled with girly dress up stuff for the kids to wear at DD's "Fancy Nancy" party. All the kids were given a heads up to wear a fancy outfit and we supplied crowns, boas, necklaces, pens with a plume, rings and clip on earrings.

We have been to outdoor park parties were the goodie bags had bubbles, sidewalk chalk, and glowsicks. This last round of parties the kids were all turning 5 and most of the bags had a few pieces of candy too. All fun stuff for the kids to play with when the sugar high hits and appropriate to the party.
post #51 of 75
Huh. You learn something every day....I have a 12 YO and when we had birthday parties for him when he was younger, I never had them. I never knew they were a requirement.

Now I kinda feel stupid. People were probably talking about me and my lack of goody bags and I didn't even know it!

Honestly - when did this become a requirment??
post #52 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~ Wonderful Life ~ View Post
Huh. You learn something every day....I have a 12 YO and when we had birthday parties for him when he was younger, I never had them. I never knew they were a requirement.

Now I kinda feel stupid. People were probably talking about me and my lack of goody bags and I didn't even know it!

Honestly - when did this become a requirment??
I have no idea, but I reject the whole idea. If we just don't buy into it, maybe the expectation will eventually subside.
post #53 of 75
I was just thinking about this as I'm planning ds' party.
I want to have small pumpkins for the kids to decorate and there will also be a pinata. Do I really need a goody bag??

Last year they contained handmade items. This year I don't really have the time and it will cost money to buy all those little pumpkins and craft stuff. I don't want to forgo the pumpkins for the darn goodie bag. KWIM?

80% of the preschool parties we go to have them. Ds never misses them.
post #54 of 75
I don't like goody bags and don't do them. Some parties dd gets one, but she never seems to expect one.

I always thought of goody bags as presents for the other kids so they don't feel left out that only the birthday kid gets presents. That may sound nice, but to me it's silly--I want us to happily bring a gift to celebrate the birthday kid, and not have to get a present in return!

Reading this thread I see that some people feel like a token from the party is a party tradition, and that reason goes over better with me. But it's not my tradition, so I don't feel compelled to join in!
post #55 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoopin' Mama View Post
I was just thinking about this as I'm planning ds' party.
I want to have small pumpkins for the kids to decorate and there will also be a pinata. Do I really need a goody bag??

Last year they contained handmade items. This year I don't really have the time and it will cost money to buy all those little pumpkins and craft stuff. I don't want to forgo the pumpkins for the darn goodie bag. KWIM?

80% of the preschool parties we go to have them. Ds never misses them.
The decorated pumpkin is a lovely take home gift. No need for "goody bags." It sounds like a fun activity and the bonus is that they get to take it home. Win - win!
post #56 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adasmommy View Post
I don't like goody bags and don't do them. Some parties dd gets one, but she never seems to expect one.

I always thought of goody bags as presents for the other kids so they don't feel left out that only the birthday kid gets presents. That may sound nice, but to me it's silly--I want us to happily bring a gift to celebrate the birthday kid, and not have to get a present in return!

Reading this thread I see that some people feel like a token from the party is a party tradition, and that reason goes over better with me. But it's not my tradition, so I don't feel compelled to join in!
Ditto! We've been to 2 parties where we got good party favors (a gardening grasshead, a knights book (made on the computer)) But all the other ones have been complete crap & the moms do it b/c there's the expectation.

I don't do them ever. For DS's birthday last year, one of DD's friends sat in the family car & protested that she wasn't coming in b/c there wouldn't be a goody bag. She eventually relented b/c she wanted cake but I find it pathetic that children now expect to get a gift at someone else's birthday party.
post #57 of 75
There are some great ideas here for alternatives to traditional plastic stuff in goodie bags. I love the pumpkin idea!

My dd's 4th bday party is tomorrow. We are handing out tie dyed tshirts to all (17!) kids. We had a lot of fun making them. It was a little expensive, but when I considered what would go into a regular goody bag, I guess it's about the same. In the past we have done either no bags or one year we did puzzles. For my dd's other bday party (only 5 kids from her playgroup) we are having goodie bags as well. They will have some beads and string for make your own bracelets, a little wooden box with jewels to decorate, and per dd's request, some "treats". She chose dove dark chocolates We had fun putting these together while ds was napping one day.

I never liked the idea of goodie bags as an adult, although I do remember loving them as a child! Last month my kids and I went to a friend's party. It was a terrific art party- the kids got to bring home several projects that they made that day. They had a blast. There were traditional goodie bags for the kids to take home. I left with 2 crying kids because it was late, they were tired, and they didn't want to leave. It made the 30 min ride home a lot easier to have those goody bags. They played with the stuff in them the whole ride home. It also kept them from falling asleep, which was a bonus. So, I don't dislike them anymore.

I do hope that my kids don't come to expect gifts though. I'm hoping to talk to my dd tomorrow before the party about gift ettiquite
post #58 of 75
wow I never thought much about it, I'm not a big fan but my son does like them. Frankly I hate the sight of a bunch of kid scrambling in the grass for cheap little candies, but DS wants a pinata this year so I'll have to come up with stuff to stuff it with (I plan to so some sort of candies but want to do some other sorts of things too.)

Every year we do a puppet show for the party, and I make a delicious home-made meal and birthday cake, and in my book, that is plenty to be providing as hostess.

We have a TON of kids in the 'hood so we really can't have a party and keep it small, I mean, they can see us having a party and frankly some of them would come if I invited them or not, so I just go ahead and invite EVERYONE. We're all pretty low-income so nobody bats an eyelash if you keep it low-key. We're gonna invite some school friends this year, but luckily I don't think the classmates at Waldorf School kindy are going to be shocked if they don't get a plastic thing full of media-character-emblazoned stuff. (lol they'd probably love it though!)

This year we're going to have two smaller parties- one just birthday cake and a pinata w/ neigbor kids, then on the weekend meet one morning at the beach and make kites and build sand castles. My plan is no goody bags at either.

I also tell people gifts are not expected. Some people bring them. We don't make a big deal about the gifts. We tell our son that the birthday cake and the puppet show are our main gift for him. He LOVES the puppet show so that works out.

I'm thinking about asking people to bring their own reusable plates, cups and cutlery- I am sure that will get on some nerves but I really would like to try and be as close to waste-free as I can manage.

NOW, if my son went to a birthday party and there was no cake... that might be a problem for him!
post #59 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by emmaegbert View Post
I'm thinking about asking people to bring their own reusable plates, cups and cutlery- I am sure that will get on some nerves but I really would like to try and be as close to waste-free as I can manage.
Most people I know, who don't want to use paper plates at a party, set out all their own dishes; then if that isn't enough, they borrow a full set of dishes from one close friend or neighbor, rather than asking everyone to bring their own. That might be less chaotic, if you just borrow one full set; plus it's more traditional, so not likely to get on anyone's nerves.
post #60 of 75
personally, i am against them. i also think that being the host (providing food/drinks/entertainment) should be enough. however, around here (winnipeg, MB, canada) they are "de rigeur"...goody bags have been presented at each party DS1 has been to (he's 5.5, and has been to about 10parties). i mostly do NOT like them as they're usually filled with plastic junk/crappy candy.

i avoided the whole issue for years by having very small, family/very close friends only type b-day parties. (i figured that since he was so young he wouldn't really care.) when he turned 5, we did invite some classmates and friends, so the party was bigger. i DID goody bags, as i know they are expected. however, i used little wooden boxes that the kids could decorate at home (supplies included) as the "bag". inside i put fruit leather, a fair trade chocolate and a small GC for a book store. kinda pricey, but there were only about 10 kids at the party.

since something "take home" is expected i am all for something consumable (snack) or something to do (crafty/arty). better yet if it can be incorporated as the party activity like PP have mentioned.
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