October Queer Conceptions - Ready to *FALL* in love w/ our future babes! - Page 4

[justrose13]

Beastie, WaHOOOO!!! now stick, baby, stick!!!!

hope everyone else is well...

[FtMPapa]

Welcome, Shadow! Especially welcome, because we are cycle buddies! I'm trying to hold off until Friday to test, and I'm going home to Canada for the weekend...not really for thanksgiving, but more because it's a long weekend, which happens to be thanksgiving. If I'm lucky, I will get some turkey.

[sunwillshine]

Welcome back, Shadow! FX your stay will be short, and not because of an unscheduled visit to fertility freakoutville, but because a BFP is in your very near future.

bttrflygypsy - Oh no! I hope you didn't miss it.... Like we don't have enough things to stress about while TTC. Boooo!

AFM - I am PRETTY sure O was either last night (HORRIBLE pains) or this morning. Hopefully timing was okay. I keep second guessing myself about timing now... wishing we had one more insem today... but I'm trying to tell myself that even if I Oed today it's fine.

Plenty of people don't try on O day (specifically those trying for a girl) so it could still be okay and good timing, right? I just need some convincing...

ETA - just did the FF override to see what my "intercourse (ewww) timing analyzer" would be if I Oed CD 17 or CD 18, and it's "high" in both cases. So I guess I'll stop obsessing... Wow. I'm REALLY bad at this whole "no obsessing" thing. Good thing I gave up being threadkeeper for that topic this month.

P.S. Jealous of those with long weekends!

[Beastie]

Buttrflygypsy, I just wanted to say that this cycle (which, hey, so far still seems successful: keep wishing me a sticky baby!) I had no signs of a surge at all when I expected that I would, and then totally despaired that I had missed the window. Wise members of this thread reminded me that it would come, and that I shouldn't let the stress get to me and convince me to insem too soon. I ended up following Brill, and insemed on the day that I had EWCM, but no OPK+, and then again the next day, when I (finally) got read as surging on the OPK. As far as temps, I don't know about you, but I always get a "fake-out" rise in temp just before my ovulation dip.

Anyway, my point is that you might just be a day or two late with ovulating this cycle, and that its likely that, just when you give up hope, all of the signs will line up.

Shadow welcome back, nice to meet you, and wishing you an easy end to the TWW!

Lyndzies, you are totally right! Hooray for your fresh sperm, and its long long lifespan. I am sure that those swimmers were all lined up and waiting when you dropped that egg for them!

[astropeep]

Congrats, Beastie! I hope it sticks around.

Re shots: sure, if the problem is pain, ice will help. The problem is, mot people with needle phobias have a revulsion to needles. It's not about pain, it's about needles. Thus, the workbook, to work through that.

AFM: Picked up the swim team in my lesubaru, tee hee. I contemplated biking, then thought, "Are you crazy? $2K on the back of a bike in traffic?!").

Egg harvest is tomorrow at 7am -- I can't wait. I am counting down the hours. I want these few dozen eggs out of me, into a petri dish, and bumping into sperms.

[osker]

5dpo club: Anyone feeling anything yet? Heather is riding this train pretty hard this month. She cut a cucumber this morning, all excited to eat it and then took two bites and told me it tasted like the inside of a coin purse. She refused to eat it! Now, this afternoon, she's craving anything and everything salty which is totally not her thing. It seems a bit early to be actually getting anything, and I'm so worried that she's setting herself up for a huge disappointment. *sigh* the tww is so long!

[FtMPapa]

Osker, that sounds promising. I've heard of things tasting like metal being a good sign. And I've definitely heard of people getting symptoms prior to what western medicine holds to be within the realm of possibility.


I think first and last cycles can be harder in some ways than others. The first cycle with a new donor, the last cycle before moving to IVF, the first cycle at a fertility clinic, or with a new med, the last cycle before quitting, the last cycle before switching who is going to carry...etc.

It strikes me that the stakes always seem higher with those "last" cycles and there's always that sense of "this just has to be it." The "first" cycles it can seem like you're doing everything right, finally, and this will be the thing that makes it work. Either way, it strikes me that there is a higher level of optimism and a sense of renewed hope with "first" and "last" cycles.

Just my as a fellow longtime TTCer.

I'm trying not to give up hope, but I feel kind of hopeless this cycle. The first few days, I felt optimistic and wonderful, but as time goes on and all I feel is sick, and a few tiny belly symptoms that could be related to being sick more than anything else, I get discouraged. I almost tested this morning, but I finally talked myself out of it because it was 9:00 AM and I'm pretty sure I got up to pee at 7:00, so it would be useless to try to test with un concentrated, 2MU pee on 9 DPO. I just have to get through tomorrow and Thursday morning, and I can test on Friday on 12 DPO.

ETA: Blasted FertilityFriend!

It randomly offers me a free sneak VIP preview, usually during my LP when I haven't logged in for a few days, because I usually ignore FF during my LP except to count my DPO. (Anyone else notice this? Does FF think we're more likely to buy in when we're anxious to test???)

According to it, I'm due to start bleeding on Friday, and I could start testing on Tuesday. So maybe one little *tiny* test on Wednesday wouldn't hurt? Maybe it would even be smart to do it Wed or Thurs becuase I have acupuncture on Thursday. Right??

[shadow22]

thanks Cejae for the good thoughts!
Papa - i feel your pain. I've stashed the pee tests under the bathroom sink and it's like that's where i've hidden my favourite drug. The thing I find about testing early is you can talk yourlself out of the negative so easily (because you test too early) so it doesn't bring much closure - unless of course it's positive which I'm sure it will be for both of us! where is your canuckian home?
I live in rural quebec.

[osker]

Thanks for your thoughts Papa. I think you hit the nail on the head. This "last" cycle does seem to mean so much more... I feel like we're really hitting the wall in terms of our attempts, it's been nearly three years at this point, and we're both so tired of it all... of course we're also so used to it that giving it up is a scary prospect.

Sorry to hear that your belly is tricking you! Ugh! I guess you just have to think about how you would react if it was a BFN. If you feel it's inevitable and you wouldn't be surprised, then go for it as early as you want. You're geared up for the negative and would just be surprised pleasantly by the positive. If you think you would be so upset and down and depressed, then by all means, don't do it! (not really a great answer, but that's all I've got tonight!)

[FtMPapa]

Originally Posted by shadow22

The thing I find about testing early is you can talk yourlself out of the negative so easily (because you test too early) so it doesn't bring much closure - unless of course it's positive which I'm sure it will be for both of us! where is your canuckian home?
I live in rural quebec.

Yes, exactly!

Toronto, most recetnly, but my very provisional and tentative plan is that my next move will be to Ottawa-ish (1-2 years from now).

Quebec is so awesome for having kids! So many perks. One of the big reasons I want to move home is bilingualism, I've had it with the monoculture of the northeastern rural US.

I hope this is it, Osker.

September was very lucky on the thread, and October has been very good so far...let's keep it up! Maybe I will test tomorrow. Either way, you know I'll tell you guys!

[Beastie]

Hi, stopping in quickly to ask for your collective wisdom and reassurance: as you know, we got a digital BFP (!) on Sunday, which was 13dpo; I can't stop testing to reassure myself that this is real, so I also got regular BFPs on Monday (with strong, fat lines, though significantly lighter than the control line).

Then, last night, I peed on my last digital test, and got a negative! Now, granted, I had just finished drinking a huge amount of seltzer, and it was nighttime, but it was scary! I tested again this morning with FMU on a non-digital test, and got the same kind of positive that I've had all week.

Any words of wisdom? I'm telling myself that it was just a bad test/bad testing circumstances, but I'm feeling anxious. I have an appt with a midwife in week 8, and hadn't planned on doing any beta testing before then. But now maybe I should?

Any wisdom or experience would be great.

ETA: Should I have posted this in the DDC or elsewhere? I don't mean to take away from anyone's TTC process, or to mess with the excellent conception vibes that we have going on the thread. If this post is triggering or messing with your egg dance, let me know and I can remove it.

[jjnoho]

Originally Posted by osker

5dpo club: Anyone feeling anything yet? Heather is riding this train pretty hard this month. She cut a cucumber this morning, all excited to eat it and then took two bites and told me it tasted like the inside of a coin purse. She refused to eat it! Now, this afternoon, she's craving anything and everything salty which is totally not her thing. It seems a bit early to be actually getting anything, and I'm so worried that she's setting herself up for a huge disappointment. *sigh* the tww is so long!

6dpo & all i have is a whole lot of nothing! dp will check in periodically and ask but there is absolutely nothing. at least on other cycles i had some symptoms of something to toy with but not now.

waiting feels so lacking in power - at least in the 1st half of the cycle, i feel like i am doing something and my efforts are going to impact the outcome. but now i just wait...

[FtMPapa]

Originally Posted by Beastie

Hi, stopping in quickly to ask for your collective wisdom and reassurance: as you know, we got a digital BFP (!) on Sunday, which was 13dpo; I can't stop testing to reassure myself that this is real, so I also got regular BFPs on Monday (with strong, fat lines, though significantly lighter than the control line).

Then, last night, I peed on my last digital test, and got a negative! Now, granted, I had just finished drinking a huge amount of seltzer, and it was nighttime, but it was scary! I tested again this morning with FMU on a non-digital test, and got the same kind of positive that I've had all week.

Any words of wisdom? I'm telling myself that it was just a bad test/bad testing circumstances, but I'm feeling anxious. I have an appt with a midwife in week 8, and hadn't planned on doing any beta testing before then. But now maybe I should?

Any wisdom or experience would be great.

ETA: Should I have posted this in the DDC or elsewhere? I don't mean to take away from anyone's TTC process, or to mess with the excellent conception vibes that we have going on the thread. If this post is triggering or messing with your egg dance, let me know and I can remove it.

Beastie! You are hogging all of the BFPs! You have to stop using them up so the rest of us can have one too! (Kidding.)

I say it's bad testing. FMU and concentrated pee is the only accurate way.

If you want to do a quant HCG test, do it now, if only to set your mind at ease. Get your progesterone tested then, too, and if it's fine, you know it's fine and you don't need to worry about it, and if it's not, you can take action.

The uncomfortable reality is that even if you were to be losing this baby (which I absolutely do not think you are - not at all) there's absolutely nothing to be done. One bad test does not a miscarriage make - one bad test means you need to put the pee down and step away from the test!

And, yeah, totally post this stuff here and there. You're more likely to find the obssessive testers hangin' 'round here, and the anxiously newly pregnant in your DDC.

Oh - and the darkness of the line on the test does not matter. They're lighter or darker depending on HCG levels and on the amount of dye on the test. So, a lot of HCG on a test with little dye will look very light, and a little HCG on a test with a lot of dye might look very dark....and there's no way to tell which kind of test you have, lots or little dye, it varies test to test.



JJNoho - EXACTLY!!

AFM - tested this AM. Negative. Even after I fell back asleep for an hour and re-read it, still as white as the driven snow. Blank. Nada. Not even an evap to obsess over.

I'm not bummed about the negative, today is ten DPO, no sign of bleeding. I'm keeping the faith, dudes. It's way too early for a definitive test.

I am feeling a little PMS, but I suspect that might have more to do with the fact that I am VERY sick, still. My symptoms keep evolving, so I'm less sinusy and more chest congestiony, and I'm tired and sore and whinging like a baby, and I might have to cancel my trip this weekend, because at this point I couldn't drive 20 miles let alone 300 each way 48 hours from now.

I'm also starting to stress, because I'm supposed to go for CD 3 bloodwork if there is a CD 3 and if CD 1 lands on Thursday or Friday, that puts CD 3 right in the middle of a 3 day weekend. When I'm going to either be sick or away. Grrr. Anyone know if missing CD 3 means I can't start any meds next cycle?

[sunwillshine]

Originally Posted by FtMPapa

September was very lucky on the thread, and October has been very good so far...let's keep it up!

For reals!!!! I'm very much looking forward to contributing to the fall BFP streak we've got going here in about 12ish days. Hope y'all are, too!

Beastie - I think Papa gave the best words of wisdom that can be spoken in this case... could very well be a bad test. If you really can't stop thinking about it (I probably wouldn't be able to) get a beta done and checked for doubling time... also progesterone so you know for sure you're body's doing what it needs to do to sustain the pregnancy.

OR the (more rational, probably, which he also gave) other advice is to take a deep breath, step away from the pee sticks, and try to give yourself a little break from the obsession. Enjoy the newness of your pregnancy and trust your body to do what it's supposed to do with that little bean!

No matter what you decide, I hope you'll stick around here and let us know what's up. Of course you should still post here! Go say hi to the queer and pregnant folks, too! But whatever you do, don't feel bad about posting if you've got a question! We're all here for each other, regardless of what leg we're on in the TTC journey.

GL and FX that bean stays sticky. KUP!

jjnoho - OMG, I totally hear you on the lack of power thing... I think I have a lot of trouble with that, because I'm borderline OCD about so many other aspects of my life... it's hard to let go and accept that whatever will be already is.

Still, I'm determined to keep positive this TWW, and trust that AF and my temps will be the signs to let me know if I'm not pregnant. We need to try to have faith that our bodies knows what to do now that we've done our part!

All that said... here's hoping that no symptoms is a good symptom for you! Means it's not like "every other LP" perhaps??

Papa - Sorry to hear about the negative, but I like your attitude! It definitely is early still and those PMS-y symptoms could be related to your illness... speaking of which, I really hope you start feeling better soon! It would be a bummer to miss out on a long weekend.

Regarding the CD3 testing... I have no clue. But hopefully someone else can weigh in? Does it HAVE to be CD3, or is it a range of days? Obviously the best scenario is that your question is moot, because there's a little embie making itself cozy inside you right now!

AFM - not much to report, if anything. 1-2DPO. I am fairly certain I Oed sometime between the evening of CD17 and the morning of CD18... although I think FF is going to give me CD18 as O after a couple more days of temps. I guess that's okay with me. Stretches the wait out a bit, but at least gives me a later test date, too. That'll be good for testing my resolve to stay away from pee sticks till 14-15DPO!

[jjnoho]

papa - have you thought about doing your cd3 (if needed, which we all hope it isn't) test wherever you are going? i was going to be away for cd3 so i just took a prescriptoin for it with me. now, in canada it may be more tricky to honor an rx from a u.s. provider - i don't know about that part??

[FtMPapa]

jj - yeah, but the problem is that I'm going to a small town over the Thanksgiving weekend. So trying to find a provider to take bloodwork....yeah not so much.

I think, if I'm not knocked up, I'll keep taking the progesterone cream, and maybe up the dose and see if I can keep the bleeding at bay until Sunday at least, and then I can come home and get everything done here.

Realistically, I'm going to make the call tomorrow as to whether I'm even going to Canada, and the way I feel today, there's no way I could go if I am this sick on Friday. And there's no point in going if I'm sick, I'm supposed to be helping my grandmother pack up her house, so if I end up sleeping on her couch for four days, there's really no point in going.

[osker]

Beastie - I agree, just a bad test! Hopefully you can put all thoughts of it out of your mind!

Afu: This tww is going to be painful, I can tell!
Today, Heather nearly gagged over some lady's perfume from across the room... two hours after the lady left! She's also been nauseous since dinner last night, off and on, all day.... She's going to pull me into believing in her symptoms, I just know it!

[shadow22]

Papa - sorry about the BFN but I'm glad there's still hope. Quebec is pretty sweet. They're even going to pay for IVF here now so if these next few rounds don't work...
I am still resolved to not test until Friday. I have all the 'signs' i get each month (sore boobs, fluttery feelings in my ute) which probably means AF is on her way but of course I am still hopeful. My wifey is sure this is the one!
Fingers crossed for you and hope you feel better.
Beastie, I work with drug users and one of the ways they beat the urine drug screen is to drink a bunch of water before the test. They call it 'flushing' and it works to beat pretty much any urine test. So take heart that your bean is tucked in safely for a long winter's development!
Osker - the two week wait sucks so much I can hardly even think about its suckiness. I feel your pain. These last few days are total agony. What I hate most is dreading to look at the TP every time I go to the washroom!
gnight all - baby dreams one and all!

[bttrflygypsy]

I got my two + OPK's so I was able to do the IUI today! I think the signs are good. I was just faked out by the temps on sunday, and the fact that I think I O'd two days later than usual, but that's the thing about this process, never a sure thing!

Had my second acupuncture treatment today and feeling good about the fact that I got to do it on IUI day!

FTMPapa: Can you please move me to Waiting to Know

Thanks, sending lots of lovely baby dreams to you all!!

[FtMPapa]

I have weird little stabby pains in the bottom of my uterus right now - and reading you saying "fluttery" Shadow, that's exactly it!

I really want this to be it, but I'm almost certain it's not. I mean, it can't be - I've been feeling so sick since Friday, how could anything want to implant into my congested, owie, barely getting off the couch, self?

Ok, g'night all! I have acupuncture tomorrow, will report in after that.