Need Advice with Non-BF-friendly company

[brittfox]

Hi All! Brand new to MDC! Thought I would seek out the advice of those who've gone before me!

Monday was my birthday, and as is commonplace, my partner and some friends and I went to Red Lobster to celebrate. My six-month-old son Tyler was with us. This was about 6:30pm last night, around Tyler's dinner time, and he was getting antsy in his high chair. We tried the crackers we brought him, the carrots, and even daddy took him for a walk, but nope! He wanted to nurse. I had sat in the corner of the booth, thinking I would be somewhat inconspicuous should I need to nurse him, but I didn't bring a blanket to cover up with, as I very rarely cover up, and the blouse I was wearing allowed quick access. Tyler rarely nurses for more than 5-7 minutes anyway.

So there I was, stooped over my darling son on my birthday, watching him munch away, when a man came rushing at our table with two 8x8 napkins in hand, saying he was going to give these to us so we could "cover up." He wouldn't want his wife to be, you know... and he ran away! Before we could even figure out who he was, or state that we were protected by Florida law, he was gone! My partner tried to calm the situation and opened the napkin, but I quickly tossed it down. This was the first time I had ever been approached in this manner, and I had never been so angry and insulted in my life!

Later, we found out that this guy was the manager, and he had the gall to come back to our table later and give his version of an appology (this was after I had glared at him several times throughout the dinner), stating that someone else had mentioned something and he was just having to step in. I could see from his actions that it was HE who was uncomfortable!

This afternoon, I am still steaming about this! Am I overreacting? What would be an appropriate manner to let this company know that I am protected by Florida law? DO I really have to cover up? Should I write a letter, stage a sit-in, or just let it go? This is one of my favorite places to eat, and I can tell you, I have no desire to ever go back now.

I am of the cognition that the reason the US has such low breastfeeding success rates is because the general public thinks that breastfeeding a baby is shameful or ugly. It is these views that discourage women from starting, and intimidate women from continuing. This situation has really brought the Mama Lioness out in me, and I do not want to be intimidated.

So what can I do?

Thank you in advance for your help and opinions!
Brittany B and Tyler

[Latte Mama]

I would start out by writing their corporate office and letting them know what happened and how it made you feel. I'd also ask them what their policy is and what their official statement is.
Also, what do YOU want the resolution to be? Do you want a formal apology? Do you want the manager reprimanded? Think about what would make you feel a little better and go from there. You can also contact your local LLL and brief them of the sitch to see what advice they give you.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I really don't understand WHY some people have an issue with NIP.

[Minarai]

Originally Posted by Latte Mama

I would start out by writing their corporate office and letting them know what happened and how it made you feel. I'd also ask them what their policy is and what their official statement is.
Also, what do YOU want the resolution to be? Do you want a formal apology? Do you want the manager reprimanded? Think about what would make you feel a little better and go from there. You can also contact your local LLL and brief them of the sitch to see what advice they give you.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I really don't understand WHY some people have an issue with NIP.

And I'll help by boycotting Red Lobster until an agreement is reached.

[jocelynr]

I'm pretty sure RL is owned by the same company as Olive Garden, and they've recently had an issue with this as well. Maybe start by looking at what happened there.

[tanyam926]

I would def contact the corporate office w/a letter like a pp mentioned. Describe what happened as simply as possible, how you felt, and include the law. I agree that you also need to include what you would like to happen. For me it would be a written policy and education on BF mother's rights and training on how to handle future situations.

What fumes me is that having worked in HR before I know that ignorance of the law is absolutely NO excuse for not following the law in every other situation except when it comes to BF. You didn't know about that law? Too bad, maybe a couple thousand dollar (if not more) fine will help you learn.

The law is there, it should be the company's responsibility to educate the employees and have written policies in force to follow the law, or else they should have to pay fines. That would shape them up pretty fast. Unfortunately it is more than acceptable to discriminate against BF women in our society and the laws are pretty laughable bc they don't have any enforcement provisions.

Keep us updated op, that co (who also owns Olive Garden) has done this before and they really need to get their act together.

[marie1080]

OMG, that is so ridiculous. I think I would have laughed so hard that I would have started crying. Napkins?!?

I'm sorry you were treated that way, mama

[Bluegoat]

I think sometimes when a manager or employee gets a complaint, if it is a new situation to that individual, they don't react well, just do what seems immediate at the time. I think that is one of the reasons it is important for employers to tell workers what a policy is, and especially what to say to a person who has complained.

On a scale of BF unfriendliness, this incident strikes me more as being not well thought out rather than nasty. So perhaps a letter to the individual store and the company, stressing the legal situation and need to educate and have a policy that employees can be taught.

[listipton]

Contact Darden's (Red Lobster's) Guest Relations department. They have very clear policies on how to handle NIP, and that Darden is supposed to support this (They are a pro-breastfeeding company). I was a manager for Darden Restaurants for years and it is really starting to bother me that women are having problems in their restaurants. It is an issue that is touched on in training and I'm frustrated that so many managers are having these reactions!

[brittfox]

Thank you

Thank you all for your comments ans support. After I cooled off, I also thought the best way to go about it would be to start off with a letter. So I wrote one to both the restaurant's GM and sent a copy to Guest relations. Just a notice of the law, how it made me feel, how it could have impacted a more impressionable new mother, and suggested they make sure their employees were informed of the law. I did find out, however, that the manager in question has only been with them for about a week, so maybe this was an isolated incident.

I will try to keep you all updated, as I did request them to let me know what they decide to do about the lack of policy enforcement.

Thank you all again for your help! )

BB