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Am I, a single working mom, crazy to get a puppy?

17K views 41 replies 23 participants last post by  samy23 
#1 ·
Hi everyone. I am a single working mom, and I committed to getting a puppy. Am I crazy? Have any of you all had good experiences (or bad) with this? Here's my story. I have been separated from xh for over 2.5 years, divorced for almost 1.5. I have a 6 y.o. boy and a 5 y.o girl. I have never owned a dog in my adult life, much less a puppy, but grew up with German Shepherds, the kind I am getting. I have invested over a year of research and thought into this. I made the leap, paid the non-refundable deposit and was supposed to have one in Aug, but the breeding wasn't successful. Now, the puppy will be coming home in late Nov. I'm not excited about getting a puppy during the cold holiday season. Now that the puppy has been born, its real.

How do you walk a dog daily with such young children? I can't leave them alone to take the dog for a walk in the morning, and I can't imagine having them come with us when it's cold and dark (it doesn't get light here until about 7:30 during the darkest weeks of the year). I can see doing the walk in the evenings with the kids, yet it's dark by 5:30 during those dark weeks. I am also planning lunch break walks, which will be quick and without children.

Part of my reasoning for getting the dog is that I live alone in a not-so-great neighborhood. I have an alarm system, but I still am wary of noises at night. I figure a dog barking would be a good deterrent if someone ever tried to come around my house. However, I don't think getting a dog for fear-based reasoning is a good thing. And the dog is not solely for protection, it's the best gift I think I could give my children. However, we also like to walk along the river and foothills where we live, and I like more-secluded places. Having another set of senses around me would be good.

Another thing is that I have a highly stressful job. I work with immigrant DV survivors, and it is emotionally taxing. Some days I come home emotionally and mentally exhausted. I think the dog, once trained, would be a good form of stress relief, and one of my original "callings" to get the dog was to train her as a therapy dog for the veterans' hospital and for DV shelters. Am I deluding myself? I've never even trained a dog before, and now I want to train a therapy dog? Also, if I am successful, and it will be a few years, I will be able to bring my dog to work with me for our counseling clients and also as protection in case a crazy abusive husband ever comes around.

I know this is long, and some of the people posting have much more serious concerns, but I just needed to get this out and see what other single working mothers' experiences with puppy/ dog ownership are. I am feeling very ambivalent. One moment I am excited and ready to take on the challenge and commitment. Other moments I am seriously questioning my sanity (not literally, but this to me is part of being responsible for this decision). If I have to back out, I lose several hundred dollars on the deposit. If I move forward, I pay (I won't tell you how much because then you'll really think I'm crazy) lots of money and am therefore committed to the life of the dog (though the breeder will take her back for any reason). I chose a high quality, and yes, expensive dog because of my goals for her as a service dog.

Do you all have any tips or experiences you'd like to share? thank you for taking the time to read this and share. Much peace and love to you.
 
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#2 ·
Well, my situation is somewhat different (which marks it as nearly irrelevant because I chose cats, not dogs), but I did some soul searching beforehand, and then took the leap with a kitten last June. We had just moved, and my 18 month old had to leave behind his beloved cat (with the housemates we were leaving). I decided that the perfect thing to christen our new home was a young kitty of his own (so to speak). Shortly thereafter (6 wks or so), we found out that Kitty-we-left-behind was so depressed at our departure, was losing weight, was outside 24/7, almost becoming feral...so we went and got Kitty-left-behind. And then we had 2.

And frankly, Ive regretted it several times. I regretted it so much at one point, I was going to find a new home for the little kitten, because Kitty-left-behind obviously needed us more, and was beginning to thrive again. But I didnt get rid of either, though there are days when I am so tired of taking care of people and animals!

Obviously huge differences here - I didnt shell out a bunch of $, for one


And dogs are a lot more maintenance than cats (which is why I didnt get a pup, lol). If I were you, I would get the pup. You already spent the $, right? Consider it an investment. If you find yourself completely overwhelmed and the dog isnt harmonizing with the family, perhaps you could find another home for her, and recoup some of your $. In my experience, once we fall in love with our pets and they become a family member, we will do anything to make it work. As if the pet were a kiddo, right?

Sounds like you have done a huge amount of research and soul-searching, and you're ready for your new baby to come home.
Also sounds like you have fantastic goals for the life of this dog, and you are a responsible and conscientious pet-owner. I could wish there were more people who put as much thought into obtaining pets and committing fully before making the leap
 
#4 ·
It is perfectly possible to be a single mom, work and have a dog! Just like in any family it all comes down to matching the right dog for your family, your families lifestyle and the dog's natural temperment. While I realize you have already put down a deposit, I would suggest another dog choice other than a German Shepherd for your family based on the limited information you shared... but I am not in your situation so I realize I don't know all of the factors.

German Shepherds do thrive sleeping in a home because they are pack animals but they need plenty of outdoor time because they are working dogs with plenty of energy. From the quick research I did online of this breed it appears to require significantly more outdoor time than walks to relieve themselves. Do you have a back yard?

"The German Shepherd will do okay in an apartment if sufficiently exercised. They are relatively inactive indoors and do best with at least a large yard."

Beyond fear and your children loving a new family addition why did you choose this breed? They are naturally good with families and are good protectors but beyond fear based reasoning you only mention the kids happiness which could happen with several different breeds. Training a therapy dog takes a GREAT deal of time, have you looked into how much, can you commit to that time with GS you really need to be there to establish yourself as the pack leader.... but honestly again even in the statement about the dog being for therapy I see a fear-based reasoning in protection from your ex.

I had a couple GS dogs growing up and it was nice so I am not anti-GS at all is there any way you can...

Pause and buy yourself some time
Can you ask the breeder for a puppy from the next litter when you can walk the puppy both AM and PM with your children at least initially? Explain that the winter month's with a new puppy concern you...This gives you further time to reflect on this whole decision and commitment.

If you decide No not right now, then....

2) See if you find another family for the dog (thus doing the work the breeder would do in marketing / interviewing) can you have your deposit back?

3) Also saying no not right now does not have to mean no dog it can mean not right now, or maybe a different breed.

Good Luck Mama!
 
#6 ·
I'll be very honest with you...I don't think this is a good match for your family at this time. GS's need LOTS of exercise, they are happiest when they are trained and they NEED to know YOU are dominate. You said you grew up with the breed so I'm sure you know all this. My reservation would be how much time you really have to spend in training, et. al. And while it's awesome that you have plans to train the pup as a service dog, I have to ask, do you really have the time to do that? And would your LO's be okay in having to give pup up later? Obviously I don't know your kids but were they mine, having to give up my very first dog would have broken hearts spilling out all over the place.

Don't get me wrong, I think dogs are FAB! But maybe you might want to look into a breed that suits you, your LO's and your lifestyle/living arrangements at this point in life KWIM? Money comes and goes but a fur baby is, at the least, a 10 year commitment. Could you explain to the breeder your reservations and see if they have other alternatives? Good breeders want the best homes for thier pups and should be willing to work with you.

If you are interested, here is a website that may help you pick a dog that may be more suited for your family and lifestyle:

http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/search.htm

HTH's!
 
#7 ·
I grew up with GS dogs too - my parents had two at the time most of my upbringing. And for me it was wonderful. When I was around 10 I knew all about dogs and my biggest wish ever was to own a GS all of my own. (My parents wouldnt let me though
)

I don't think you are crazy. It is obvious that you put a lot of thought into this and since you grew up with GS too Im sure you have a pretty good idea what you are getting yourself into. Knowing the breed I totally understand why you chose them. They are loyal, intelligent, playful and IME great family dogs. Sure they need a good loving firm hand, but honestly most dogs do, unless you think its great to get a miniature tiny doggy who really isn't all that dangerous even if you spoil it rotten, let it live on your couch and eat your shoes and guests. From your experience and all the thoughts you are having about adjusting when your new family member moves in, I have a feeling you would NOT be that kind of pet-owner.

I have no ideas how to solve the practical issues except bring the kids or get someone to help you - either by staying with the kids for the half hour you walk the dog in the morning or someone who can walk the dog. I trust you find a way that works for you.

Im sure you will love your dog and I am sure your kids will too! Good luck!
 
#8 ·
I'm a single mom of a 6 year old and got our dog when she was 4. It is difficult giving her all the exercise she needs, and especially if you are working full time too. My dd gets tired after school or extra-curricular activities etc and I feel mean having to take the dog for a walk and my dd having to do the walk too sometimes. Also I will not leave my dd alone in the home to take the dog outside at night time before I go to bed so she can pee/poop and won't need to during the night, and since we don't have a garden I have to keep a small area in our home for her to go to toilet during the night. -This works out okay for us, although it's annoying having to clean it up and sometimes it stinks BAD, but fortunately I chose a very small breed meaning she doesn't do huge poops!

I would advise you wait a while longer until your kids are older. How much time are you all even home to be with the dog? is it going to be home on it's own often? That really isn't fair on the dog and can lead to destructive behaviour. Puppies especially need a lot of your time. ....Not to mention the financial aspects.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seie View Post
I personally I wouldnt be that uncomfortable leaving a 6 year old alone at home for 15 minutes while I walked the dog in the close neighbourhood, assuming he could get in touch with me, or had another adult close by he could turn to if he needed help. But I am aware most people here are from the US where it is my impression that that kind of behaviour is almost unheard of and even - uhoh illegal

 
#9 ·
I have had 2 puppies in my life as an adult (once when I was still single and childless and another when I was married -- at X's insistence). One of those puppies was a German Shepard Dog.

All I can say... never again will I own a puppy. OMG, the time, work, destruction, craziness... and money! Yes, I loved each dog to bits, BUT never again. A slightly older dog, 1+ years, is just as amazing without all the destruction, craziness and money!

6 year old ds desperately wants a dog right now and frequently accosts people on the street to pet their dogs. But, with his school hours and my teacher hours, we are gone for 8-10 hours a day. It would just be incredibly cruel and unfair to bring a dog into our house where he/she would be left alone for such long periods of time. Especially, for an animal that is a social, pack animal.

Where will your puppy be during the day when you and your children are not home?
 
#10 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Holland73 View Post
I have had 2 puppies in my life as an adult (once when I was still single and childless and another when I was married -- at X's insistence). One of those puppies was a German Shepard Dog.

All I can say... never again will I own a puppy. OMG, the time, work, destruction, craziness... and money! Yes, I loved each dog to bits, BUT never again. A slightly older dog, 1+ years, is just as amazing without all the destruction, craziness and money!

6 year old ds desperately wants a dog right now and frequently accosts people on the street to pet their dogs. But, with his school hours and my teacher hours, we are gone for 8-10 hours a day. It would just be incredibly cruel and unfair to bring a dog into our house where he/she would be left alone for such long periods of time. Especially, for an animal that is a social, pack animal.

Where will your puppy be during the day when you and your children are not home?
I agree with all of this...when we were puppy training, I had that puppy leashed to may waist when she wasn't sleeping, it's like having another baby. Where will that puppy be when you are at work? It's not like an older dog that can sort of occupy himself...I hope that puppy won't be crated all day long
.
 
#11 ·
Raising a GS from a puppy is a very time-intensive task. In addition to walks, dogs that large need an area where they can run. Do you have a large yard? Are you ready to get up in the middle of the night for at least a few weeks to take the puppy out to pee? Can you afford the damage that all puppies do in terms of chewing and destroying before they are fully trained?

Having raised four dogs in my adulthood, I would not recommend you get a puppy and especially not a large breed puppy. In your situation, I believe your best match would be an older (at least 2), trained dog.

There are all kinds of breed rescue programs. You might want to start there as those dogs have been fostered and so you can get a more accurate picture of their temperment and training.
 
#12 ·
Is there someone that you can have come over and walk the dog each day? I'd think that a youngish teen would be willing to do it for 20 a week or so.

I agree with not enjoying puppyhood. I had forgotten that and went and got a puppy a few months ago. It's a lot of work and very frustrating. My pup is a small mutt. I think a larger GS would be easier to house train than a shit-zu mix.

As for the money...what's spent is spent. I wouldn't put that into the equation if at all possible. Would the breeder possibly have an older dog to sell?

If you do get the puppy, realize that the reality of the dog will be hard to handle at first. But, once you get past the wishy-washy feelings, your dog will be like family. And, he won't be a puppy forever.
 
#13 ·
i haven't read all the responses but yes crazy. I did it so I talk from experiance. my poor pups never ever gets walked. actually it is better now because I decided we needed to rehome her if we can't walk her so she gets two walks a day and 30 minutes of love time with the little one outside on the tie out.

but after almost 2 years she is not fully house broken and likely never will be because in all the stress i never delt with the problem and she has just decided the basement is a fine place to poop. at least she goes in a designated spot.

she is the biggest stressor and biggest expense in my life. Puppies are expensive. beside all the known dog costs (food, vet, flea crap, grooming etc) she chews a lot of crap still all.the.time (she is a German sheperd mix and their puppyhood seems to go on forever). there are no toys that can stand up to her chewing. (orka works well but only the plastic and kong, but nothing with fabric) She also sheds like a crazy beast all.,year.long. it never endes. every day off from work revolves around cleaning up the hair. it is non-stop and it is gross. i cannot have people over. i cannot cook for people. because I work full time and cannot keep up with the massive amounts of hair (seriously how is this dog not bald). it is so overwhelming.

So that leaves me being completely overwhelmed and thinking about getting rid of the kids beloved puppy. how can I do this to them? and I love the dog. i really do. it would break my heart. but I can't care for her and can't keep up with her distruction and filth. its killing me. and it breaks my heart that she spends so much time in her kennel. She doesn't seem to mind she goes willingly and even opens and closes the door herself, arranges her belongings in a certain order (kinda a freak puppy now that I think about it....) but I still feel bad.

also I got her as a gaurd dog. turns out she was the runt. 40 pounds. stands about knee height (the other pups in the litter are over 60-75 pounds) she bares her teeth and growls but is scared to death of adults and will slowly back up until she is in a corner then roll over and submit. yay Lu. oh well at least I don' have to worry about her hurting anyone. and she does sound petty fierce. she barks enough that the neighbors complain but I don't think in anyone in the neighborhood is actually scared of her.

if I had it to do all over again I would have gotten an older dog. I highly recommend this. if you must get a dog.
 
#14 ·
I want to chime in again to expand on some comments made.

Small dogs DO need to be properly trained and still shown who is the pack leader.
http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/articles/smalltoydogs.htm

Also I was not saying the OP needs a small lap dog, just that I would suggest looking into a dog that does not have the same physical needs of a GS. There are plenty of medium and large dogs who don't need as vigorus excerise daily.

And since people have mentioned older dogs and not puppies you can actually pay a breeder for an older dog or pay the breeder to keep your dog for a year prior to you taking it home. Many of the top breeders are OK with this because it gives them time to see if the dog is show quality ---- one minor "show" flaw may be present so they have to find that dog a new home.

I personally would be Ok with the puppy aspect, yes it is more work initially but there is such a warm and fuzzy bond with a puppy. My hesitation with your situation is the dog breed choice.
 
#15 ·
LoveOhm, I absolutely agree about small dogs needing just as much training and so on. Believe me, being too permissive with my pug at first taught me that! I also think the breeder info is an excellent idea. I have an Aunt who does that and she's had the lovliest dogs. Although I have to say that I know a lot of rescue dogs who have a rock solid bond with their owners, more so than many "raised from a puppy."

I had only big dogs before my pug. I knew it would be different but I did not realize how much easier it would be logistically and financially. She eats a 1/3 of the food the big ones do and I get more medication for the same amount of money. When she gets sick it is a breeze to clean up vs when one of the big dogs get sick in their kennel or in the home.

Most of all, I can easily help her get her energy out with walks or playing fetch. She's doing twice to three times the work the big dogs do in fetching the same ball. Finding a place where she can run at full stride is no problem, it's my yard!

I still have a big dog but he is quite elderly and I know there will be more big dogs in my future when we have land again. But I completely "get" why some people prefer smaller breeds now. They really do have a lot going for them.
 
#16 ·
Wow, I'm so surprised to have gotten so many great responses. thanks to all of you. I don't know how I'm going to answer all of your questions, but I'll start with my plan and that will at least answer some.

Assuming I move forward with getting the puppy in late Nov, I will be taking two full weeks off from work to just be with the puppy. I hope this gets us a good start on housebreaking. I should mention that all of these plans come from books and friends with dogs, not my own experience. After the first two weeks, I plan on leaving the dog for three hours in an indoor pen with a crate, toys stuffed with kibble for self-entertainment, and a potty area in the opposite corner of her crate. I live 7 mins from work, so I will come home for lunch and have 45 mins with puppy. Then I leave her in her pen again for four hours until kids and I come home. I've read that it's not even good/necessary to walk a puppy until they're fully vaccinated, about 4 mos old. This should at least get us through until January. I do have a large 1/3 acre yard where we can play with and leash-train the puppy. when she's old enough, I plan on training her to run alongside my bike so at least she can run rather than walk, and therefore cut the amount of time needed for exercise. I also live 2 blocks from the river that has a beautiful bike trail that goes along side it. I know my kids will love this (it's just the EVERYDAY part that concerns me). During the first 4 weeks especially, but continuing onward, I plan on a rigorous socialization schedule complete with puppy parties, taking her to my DD's pre-school for socialization with small children, and being around other well-trained dogs (I have a friend who is an excellent trainer and rescues border collies who has offered his help and time with his dog). Of course, I'm not excited about this being during the holidays. For myself, I'm fine with taking a break from the hustle and bustle, but it may be hard to get people to come to my puppy parties! I plan on having this dog be an indoor dog, and I have a large room that I can shut off for just the dog until it's fully trained. My housebreaking plan is to take the puppy out every hour (for the first 2 weeks) to a designated spot in my yard and then later the rule will be that she has to go in order for the walk to begin so that the walk is the reward, and she won't prolong her pottying as a way to prolong the walk. I have a plan to be the Alpha by not letting her eat before she sees all of us eat, even it's just a cracker. And also to not engage with her when we come home until she is completely settled. There are other things too that I will do, but I don't want to make this extremely long. I've just never done any of this before, so what if it doesn't work? I guess I could call in professionals if necessary.

Also, LoveOhm mentioned that this would be for protection from my ex. Actually, I was referring to the abusive husbands of my clients, who could conceivably follow her to an appt. she has with me. That has never happened, but who knows what some of these crazy men will do? My ex is actually very supportive of this, and of me, thankfully because we had some crazy rough times, but we're good friends now. He also has a very large yard and has offered his help. I have friends that have offered to help too.

Others have mentioned concerns with the GSD breed. I am aware of these concerns, which is why I want her to be a working, therapy dog. She wouldn't be a service dog we train and give up, rather I would be the one who takes her to the veterans' hospitals and DV shelters. This is a secondary thing anyway. I want to ultra socialize her so that she could possibly do this in the future, she's a family dog, first and foremost, who happens to offer some protection to us which will hopefully never be necessary. Also, others have mentioned getting an older dog. This is possible as our breeder does have some for sale and they are highly trained Schutzhund show dogs. Still, I kind of want to start with a puppy and socialize her into our lifestyle. And this breeding was specifically done to create lower-drive service-type dogs rather than high-drive work-type dogs like police dogs and rescue dogs. Still, the low-drive might be high-drive for me. I know that the first 2 years will be tough, but then I think things will settle down dramatically from puppyhood.

I really appreciate you all letting me put this out to you. It's really helpful to just get it out. I still have some time to make my final decision, and yes, I can probably wait for the next breeding or two or still get the adult dog. I am sitting with this and trying to take everything into consideration. One thing is certain, this is definitely not an impulsive decision. Again, I really appreciate your support and would appreciate any more comments you have to offer. Sending you gratitude!
 
#17 ·
This thread makes me feel kinda sad because I rehomed my two and a half year old GSD a couple weeks ago. I thought I had really thought it through when I got her, but I got unexpectedly pregnant a few months later, then split up with my partner. I loved my dog to pieces, but in the priority list of being single mom to a toddler, working a full-time job, taking a class, studying for the GRE and trying to maintain a relatively sanitary house, and trying to care for a highly intelligent dog, she was coming in dead last. And it was showing in her behavior.
It sounds like you're going into it with your eyes open and you have a good plan, so it's not totally crazy. And your kids are a little older, so they can have a blast playing with the dog.
But German Shepherd puppies really are handfuls. I think it's the hardest around nine months or so. They can be so destructive, so demanding, so dirty. And they stay puppy-like for a long, long time.
They are great dogs, they really are. They're so intelligent, and they go crazy if they don't have a ton of stimulation. If you can train your GSD to be a service dog, that would be really great. But be realistic with yourself about the amount of time it will take.
The other thing is, your house will never be clean again. I'm serious. The amount of shedding is beyond belief, and those big paws will tear up the grass in the yard, then they'll track mud inside every time it rains. It was the most frustrating thing.
German Shepherds can get kind of neurotic really easily. Mine has always had this horrible barking habit, even in the first months before I was pregnant and we were living in the country and I was giving her tons and tons of attention and exercise. She also had this horrible habit of scratching at the door -- like, to the point of having to replace several doors.
I know a lot of those habits could have been addressed with more training, but I was at the point where I was so overbooked that it was the last thing I felt like dealing with. She turned into a chore, and I realized that she was adding almost nothing positive to my life, and I wasn't doing much for hers. At that point the responsible thing to do was find another loving home for her, so I did.
I did not get a well bred dog, which may have made a difference. And I got her when I was single and childless, then suddenly wound up juggling a dog and a baby. But I bit off way more than I could chew.
I would agree that it might be a good idea to look at the possibility of getting a slightly older dog, maybe a two year old. It's not the fuzzball puppy stage that's hard, but more the teenage stage.
Whichever you decide, good luck, and it does sound like you've done a lot of thinking on the matter.
 
#18 ·
MamaJen, thank you for sharing your experience. This is the kind of thing I want to hear (not really, but it's honest so yes, I want to hear it). I have thought about the messy house. My house is messy to begin with. Everyone talks about the shedding, and even though I bought this special brush that brushes out the undercoat (the video is amazing), how do I really know until I'm doing it? One of the things I don't like about my cat is the amount of shedding and having his hair all over my work clothes. My friend/dog trainer/rescuer says dog hair is different and doesn't stick so bad, but how do I know? I honestly never thought about the door scratching. That's a first for me. I have a friend with a wolf who she literally cannot leave alone ever because he will literally chew open the front door looking for her (he has literally done that and escaped). I think I will voice my concerns with the breeder, with whom I have discussed my concerns already at length and just see what she says about an older dog or waiting another year or so.

I'm such a research-fanatic and everything important decision I make is done with such diligence. When I was pregnant with my two, and especially my first, I ready every possible thing on homebirth and had successful birthing/nursing/attachment parenting experiences - when they were babies and I wasn't working. Now, I haven't even taken a single parenting class or read a single parenting book. I'm doing it all by intuition. I've spent more time researching dog training than I've spent researching parenting. Maybe I am getting in over my head. I just hope I make the right decision. Part of me is like, if not now, when? The other part of me is like, all in good timing. Thank you!
 
#19 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by *MamaJen* View Post
They can be so destructive, so demanding, so dirty....The other thing is, your house will never be clean again. I'm serious. The amount of shedding is beyond belief....She also had this horrible habit of scratching at the door -- like, to the point of having to replace several doors.
I too remember and loved my childhood days when we had our GS dogs. I totally forgot about ALL the doors.....
wow that does bring back memories. We tried to put our GS dogs on the back porch to sleep but they scratched at the door until it broke, we had them outside while my parents worked and they scratched the backdoor to the point the door frame needed to be replaced.... that said we still loved them! I asked my father today and he said the only reason he did not replace our GS when he passed with another GS was that I had constant allergy and asthma challenges which he said was more than cut in half once the dog passed away, perhaps due to the shedding.

Our GS dogs were very well bred, so $$$ and we had them groomed on a monthly basis (my parents were not a fan daily brushing). I think it all comes down to ones outlook and ability to train and be understanding.....

OP I do feel you have put a good deal of thought into this and I think having a yard makes a huge difference. I honestly still don't see GS as inside dogs more a balance of both indoor / outdoor dogs. I personally cannot imagine committing to daily dog training, daily brushing, vigorous walks 2-3 times a day.... which is what I am reading you realize is needed. If you do make it work my hat is off to you but something for me always gives when I give so much of myself to one area... if I give my all to school, my freelance writing takes a backseat and when I am tied on a writing deadline dd watches more TV than normal.... etc.

I really respect that you are asking questions, doing research, any decision you make will be at min. very informed.
 
#20 ·
Depends. Will be home during the day to housetrain the puppy? I have cats because they aren't as much work and don't need to be taught to go outside to go to the bathroom.

My kids would love a puppy, but at this time, I just can't because no one is hear most of the day to properly care for a puppy.

If you can commit to it, go for it.
 
#21 ·
I didnt say that you shouldnt train small dogs. Ofcourse you should. My point was that some people seem think its not as important, so they get the small fashionable dogs and think they can skip training. With a tiny dog its not a huge problem except they will likely drive your household crazy - but at least they wont kill anyone if they decide to show who is stronger kwim. You can't afford the luxury of being lazy with a big dog as it may actually harm someone.
So - ofcourse you should train all dogs. All dogs should be wanted and cared for..
 
#22 ·
Haven't read all the replies, but wanted to give my recent experience. I got a dog recently for my dd's fifth birthday. I decided to get a year and half old dog dog that was already housebroken and kennel trained. I'm not exactly excited at having a pet, but it is so worth it to see how excited my daughter is when she comes home from school to the dog, and the joy she has playing with it around the house. Being that is just me and her, we really needed to add something else to our home.
 
#23 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by sbphotogr View Post
Haven't read all the replies, but wanted to give my recent experience. I got a dog recently for my dd's fifth birthday. I decided to get a year and half old dog dog that was already housebroken and kennel trained. I'm not exactly excited at having a pet, but it is so worth it to see how excited my daughter is when she comes home from school to the dog, and the joy she has playing with it around the house. Being that is just me and her, we really needed to add something else to our home.
That is a good point. We had tons of pets growing up (of course, my mom was a SAHM) and there's a part of me that still thinks that every kid deserves a dog or cat or hamster or whatever.
I would like to have another dog again at some point, but I would get an older, smaller and less intense dog. In a couple few years when I'm done with school and DS isn't a toddler any more, I could see having a relaxed mid-sized dog, like a three year old, 20 or 30 pound hound mix or something.
I felt very safe living with a GSD, but their size makes some things logistically difficult. Right after XP and I split up I had this random panic over what would happen if my German Shepherd got hit by a car or something and died. I remember thinking, how the hell would I handle it? She weighs nearly 100 pounds. That's practically the size of a person. You can't carry a dog like that into the vet.
I really do respect the amount of thought you're putting into it. And it's not the craziest idea I've ever heard. I bet your kids would just love having a dog, and they might wind up being big helps -- a five year old can certainly help brush a dog, or throw the tennis ball around.
But be very honest with yourself about where the time will come from. I agree with LoveOhm that if us single moms have a finite supply of time, and if we take on a new project, we have to gather that time from some other element of our lives.
And invest in a really, really good floorcleaning system. I cannot tell you how nice it is to not have my floors coated in mud.
 
#24 ·
i am glad to know I am not the only one who has to replace doors.

and I can get all the hair off my dog one day but I swear on mothers grave she has even more the next day. Maybe if I brushed her like craazy every morning and night it would be more under control but I actaully have a life outside of my dog. or try to.

I also had really great plans about training and walking and socializing and blah blah blah.....reality is I get home from work and I am tired. the weather sucks. the kids need me. she chewed the expensive defurring brush up so now we have nomthing to groom her with, she hates being brushed as well so what difference does it make.....

i thought she would get a lot of excercise playing fetch...except she doesn't play fetch, i thought I would be able to walk ehr every day except I hurt my foot at work....

also i saw you mentioned running the dog while you are on a bike....this is very dangerous. at the very least the leash could get caughht in something or you could run over the dog (my dog has done some of the stupidest stuff out of the blue in the presence of a squirrel. it is like satan takes over her goofey puppy brain). I am in a residential neighborhood and Lucy regularly runs on the other side of a sign (we have to walk our dogs curb side) even just walking this can hurt me if I am not ready for it. if you do that be very careful and do not count on that being your dogs running time. it might not work out.
 
#25 ·
Thanks, Lilyka. I had not considered the dangers of running a dog on a bike. I've never done it, but I've seen other people do it (which doesn't make it safe just bc they do it). Now that's one thing to reconsider which I never would have thought about had you not mentioned it. So, thanks, I really appreciate this input. It's valuable to hear from others' experiences.
 
#26 ·
lilyka I so relate to almost everything you have said! My dog is only small, really small but she sheds an incredible amount and she has a short coat! So I honestly can't imagine having a large dog that sheds, it would drive me insane. I had company round for a meal one evening and there was a dog hair on the plate! I was so embarrassed it was awful, I am afraid to invite people over for any food just incase. I have kept her out the kitchen but the hairs still get everywhere, even inside the oven!
They are all over our clothes and bedding, even though she isn't allowed in certain rooms, they still reach into them because they are on our clothes...so keeping a dog out of a room won't guarantee it being hairless -far from it most likely. I do worry sometimes about if we are breathing them in, or if it could lead to asthma/eczema etc? Even washing them doesn't get all the hair off.

EstrellaI always say to my dd if we ever get another dog it will most likely be a Bichon Frise breed because they are small but not tiny/delicate, DO NOT SHED
, are good with children, and you can carry them if necessary. Do you have leather sofas? I would definately switch to a leather sofa if I could afford it since our dog is past the stage of chewing everything so she wouldn't wreck it, and the dog hairs could be easily brushed off it, where-as right now I am constantly vacuuming them and the hairs seem to stick to it.

She will be sick if she picks up any old food people may have dropped on the sidewalk, and usually the vomit ends up happening on carpets, on the sofas which I have covered in blankets to hide the hairs a little but also to protect the sofa from vomit marks. -Plus it's easier to wash a blanket than take the sofa cover off everytime and wash it -meaning you can't use that sofa cushion either until the cover is back on. -Do you have hard wood floors? That would be the best thing as it's easier to clean up any dog vomit, poop, pee.

Imo a smaller/medium sized dog is better when you have children because dogs like jumping up sometimes, and a big dog like the GSD will knock a 5,6,7,8 yr old right over to the ground. -This happened to my dd while we were walking our dog, a labrador jumped up and knocked her over, now she's a bit afraid of large dogs.

Also the barking, larger dogs seem to have a more deep bark which can be scary for children. My dd frequently jumps out of her skin (as do I) when our small dog suddenly starts barking because she heard something outside the window or whatever, and gets annoyed because we are trying to talk or play or watch something and you can't hear yourself think, a larger dog is way louder/deeper to her bark though.

The dog food never all stays inside the dog bowl, since you have a garden maybe you can feed him outside? -but probably not in winter. Again another reason hard wood flooring is best, easy to clean up their daily food mess.

If you or your kids are sick and need to stay home, do you have people ready to step in and walk the dog 2-3 times a day for you if needed? I have dragged my sick dd out the house to walk to the dog before, and felt so guilty as she was unwell, it really wasn't fair to her. And other times I have not walked my dog all day because I or my dd were too sick to do it, then felt really guilty for the dog.

If they get the exercise they need, they definately behave better. Otherwise they get restless and can turn destructive or even aggressive. You mentioned walking your dog 2-3 times daily. When will you have time to do that?

You sound like a great future dog owner, really researching things etc, and wanting it to be an indoor dog aswell...I hate the thought of dogs locked up outside, alone. Is your plan of coming home in your lunch hour from work going to be a regular thing, or just at first?

The socialisation is so important, we've had serious problems with our dog because I wasn't aware of that stuff when we got her. -I think it needs to be an ongoing thing too, not just when they are puppies, so maybe an obedience training class you can take her to every week at least, where other dogs will also attend?

The alpha dog issue...that is far more than just showing her she can't eat until after you have. -Believe me I tried that and it failed, there's much more to it.
 
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