*~*'~* October Dating Thread *~*'~* What are we looking for? *~*'~* - Page 9

[JohnnysGirl]

so, still no word from SS. Not really expecting one. I waited 24 hours as well and then wrote him back a little something about how I hope he has been having a great weekend, hopefully in London where he was trying to get to for the weekend.

S.E. wants to see me tomorrow evening. When I texted back my idea for a dinner date I got radio silence. Let's see if he ever responds..........

[crazyeight]

frustrating isn't it?! men.

i've been chatting up a storm with C whom i met on OKC. haven't met in person yet since exh won't pick up the kids but i informed exh that i will be dropping them off on monday for a few hours cause i have to go school shopping...which i do...but i'll be meeting C at that time. it's nice to have someone to text, email and IM with but this waiting around for an hour of free time is driving me bonkers! i just want to meet and see if there are sparks or if it's a friendship or WHAT. i hate having to basically wait on my EX to be able to move forward with my love life..is that twisted or what?!

[sugarmoon]

Originally Posted by dhinderliter

. i hate having to basically wait on my EX to be able to move forward with my love life..is that twisted or what?!

Yup, and Yup! I'm in the same boat, and I've pretty much stopped dating b/c of it. Very occasionally I pay a sitter, but otherwise...

I'm going to try some coffee/lunch dates, but the odds of the guy I want to have a date with working in the same small town as me, and being being able to do that are slim.

Grr. I'm having myself a big old pity party over here tonight.

[Rosehip]

Oh dear ladies...so, I'm scheduled for date #2 tomorrow with the guy I went out for sushi with last weekend. He had suggested squash, but given that I haven't played in YEARS, and was never got much past beginner, I suggested a hike. He was happy with that.

But now - mother nature is not cooperating. Tomorrow is supposed to hit a high of 43, with more than an inch of rain. I just got a vmail from him suggesting we play squash instead. What do I do?? I'm guessing he's a good player - I know he plays regularly. I'm thinking this will be embarrassing for me, and boring or annoying for him, but what are my options?? Also, I wouldn't even know - do I show up and change into the outfit at the club? Wear the exercise clothes there?

Any ideas??

[sugarmoon]

Rosehip, if it were me, I'd be honest, but in a jokey way. Something like:

I haven't played squash in a really long time, and I'll probably make an ass of myself! And you know, that can be fun (making an ass of myself), but I'd rather wait until I know you just a little bit better! How about we go (bowling, to a museum, to a reading, whatever) this time, and I'll let you laugh at my feeble squash skills on say..the 7th date?

That's what I'd do. If he really only wants to play squash, he should call his regular squash partner!

[muse]

don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable!

i'm out for the count with the flu here so had to cancel my lunch date with amazon man. he was so so sweet, wrote some lovely emails, said if i feel better tomorrow (which i won't unfortunately) he has tickets for the bach choir, sent his phone number in case i wanted to talk at all..

and then chicago guy called and was an angel, sang down the phone to me, offered (joking) to fly from chicago to deliver miso soup tomorrow..was just so kind...we're talking more in an hr or so if i can stay awake and form a coherent sentence.

2 sweet men.

Oh I should add. I called ex h to ask for some help (always a mistake) and he was an unbelievable jerk. Who knew that all the years i dealt with his passive aggressive crap there were such kind & mature men out there.

[crazyeight]

Originally Posted by sugarmoon

Yup, and Yup! I'm in the same boat, and I've pretty much stopped dating b/c of it. Very occasionally I pay a sitter, but otherwise...

I'm going to try some coffee/lunch dates, but the odds of the guy I want to have a date with working in the same small town as me, and being being able to do that are slim.

Grr. I'm having myself a big old pity party over here tonight.

ugh same here! weird! big pity party, big pi$$y party really. gosh i know i'm being (or would be if there was someone around) a complete B but i don't care. just p.o.ed at dh (gosh darn it i can't get my fingers to type exh!), p.o.ed at the stuff i have to go through without an ounce of anyone doing it for me. just yuck. and i can't blame it on pms since i'm pregnant...!

[muse]

oh my goodness...amazon man, who i haven't even met yet, just emailed and offered to bring over some home cooked soup any time!

wow.

i wish one of these kinds of men for *all* you mamas who so deserve it.

[JohnnysGirl]

So the Sensitive Engineer texts back this morning, finally, and says my idea sounds great, but not at my proposed starting time, but rather 90-150 later, as he will be visitig his parent's in another part of town today and is busy until then. I said that was fine, and I'd see him then. I am unsure about drinking whiskey tonight, as it might be a good idea to spend time with him sober and see if we still like each other. Our date is in 2-3 hours.
I am in touch again with the Spectacled Smarty. A few light mails on facebook and he friended me finally. He will come to my fancy party on saturday, he says. Interesting. No date offer yet.

[sugarmoon]

butterfly. I'm all mixed up. SE is who? SS is the one you pursued via a friend of a friend on fb, right?

[ForViolet]

OK, brave dating single women! I just made a huge leap for me. I signed up for OKCupid. I was looking at the profile ("The Skinny") and to describe myself, they only have the options of "single" "seeing someone" or "married".

They don't have "separated." Yes, technically I am married, but we are no longer together. And have lived in separate residences for over 5 months now. We will start divorce proceedings in Jan. Our state takes a while to grant a disolution of marriage when there are kids involved. We wanted to wait until Jan to start to give ourselves a breather (from the separation) and for financial reasons.

So, I don't know which one to check. If I check married, I look like a creep wanting to have sex partners (like cheating on a spouse). If I click single, it is not exactly true b/c of the legalities.

What have you done? I am thinking of putting single and stating in my profile that technically I am separated. Please advise!

ETA: I am still not sure of dating yet, but I wanted to at least look around and possibly meet some people in the future. This is scary as all get out to me.

[Rosehip]

For Violet - I had the same issue! My divorce took about 1.5 yrs from the time he moved out, so I was ready to dip a toe in the dating waters before it was official, although I didn't actually go out on a date until I was actually divorced. Plentyoffish has a "separated" option. Post-divorce, I signed up on Catholic Match (does not have a separated option) which is where I found the guy with whom I went on a second date today. Good luck!!

So, Muse & Sugarmoon - I ended up playing squash! I called him to tell him that I was SO out of practice, etc., and he was really sweet - along the lines of "no pressure, it's just for fun - so I figured I'd be a good sport & go along with it. And you know what? It was a lot of fun! He was really nice - giving me tips, totally just hitting the ball & not being competitive, and just having fun! I'm going to be super sore tomorrow, but I'm glad I did it. Afterward, we went out to a nice lunch at a restaurant on the river, and then for a drive - he showed me the lovely quaint neighborhoods near where he lives. I like him! I think he's quite conservative with relationships, so there's been no *action* as of yet, which is actually really nice for the place I'm currently at emotionally.

Butterfly - Waiting with. bated. breath. to hear how it turns out! Fingers crossed!

[sugarmoon]

Rosehip, sounds great! Honesty is such a great thing, and so is being brave and taking risks! Good for you

[brittneyscott]

Oh my!!! Major updates here so this is going to be long.

Okay first the short version... no word from Country Cutie today at all. Not much from him since the conversation with his friend the x the other day. Oh well.

New one that must be mentioned... Psycho Cop. This cop has come out every night I've worked for the last 3-4 wks. Friday night he started hitting on me and texting my phone. He went and sat outside my house waiting on me for 2 hours even after I said I wasn't going home. He blew my phone up all morning Saturday morning and then came back by my house Saturday afternoon (I know this because he texted me to tell me about it). Today I went to a friend's bday party at her bar and he showed up there standing around watching me. Creepy!!! I don't know where this come from and the guy might have been one I would've considered if he hadn't gone so crazy. This one might end up being a problem for me!

Okay now for the good news... Nemo did come out to see my Friday night. We met at the mall here and he's cuter in person than in his pictures even. He brought me a candle when he came which I thought was sweet. We hung out for a couple hours and talked before I had to go to work. He went home to get a nap since he'd just gotten in from working out of town Friday afternoon. He came out later that night while I was at work to see me. He ended up staying when Psycho Cop was waiting on me to get off work and I left with him. We went to get breakfast and rode around talking while I was waiting for Psycho Cop to leave my house. I wasn't really comfortable with being home alone after that so I ended up going to his house with him. We spent the entire weekend together.

We went Saturday and visited with some of his friends. I met tons of his friends and his dad too. We hung out there until I had to go to work Saturday night and he came with me. I went back to his house this morning after work and then he came with me to the bday party today. We went back to his house for awhile before we went to get a bite to eat and take me back to my car to get the kids. He's been super sweet all weekend and said he was getting use to having me around and was going to miss me this week while he's at work. He texted me a few times after I left to make sure I made it home okay and tell me good night. I can't believe how sweet he is. I wonder how long this is going to last but for now he's super wonderful!

[LoveOhm]

Wow you ladies are a busy bunch!!! I spent yesterday and today reading this entire thread and there is simply too much for me to be able to respond to. Overall I did not want to miss any major items of mamas I have come to care about! It is nice to see new people on the dating thread and really nice to see more of the senior member who don't often post. In my opinion it is of GREAT value to hear from those dating occasionally as well as those in relationships...... so thank you!!!

No update on my end, just kinda put my prospects on the backburner so I can take care of the legal matters (custody, visitation, etc.) as well as my daily responsibilities of my cookbook edits, caring for dd and doing school..... but I do miss you ladies so know I am lurking.

[JohnnysGirl]

The date was fine with sensitive engineer but apparently 13e for a pasta was more than he feels inspired to do. I PAID MY OWN WAY. The date was otherwise ok but he wasn't able to drink whiskey with me-just couldn't get in the liquor mood. I don't know....
SS is spectacled smarty. He isn't asking me out.
Remember how I texted Vanishig guy in brussels? He emails of back tonight and wishes me luck with my legal battles and confesses that for weeks now he's been seeing 'me' everywhere he looks and he always chases the woman down but it's never really me, of course, but some cheap copy. His words. I read this on my phone in public and immediately started sobbing. God, it's like I've been punched in the stomach and can't catch my breath. Could he please just get over me so I can get over him?!

[muse]

mamas i am soooooo confused. granted i'm down with (probable) swine flu and feverish for the last 3 days which doesn't help my state of mind..

been talking with chicago guy and just can't quite figure out what's going on there. he has so many questions and is definitely "searching" for some kind of ideal, it's hard to explain..he has an idea in his head about love and what that is, but i don't know if truly has ever loved before. i tried asking him and he was evasive. i don't know if or when he will ever feel ready to meet. he goes back and forth. though yesterday he did say "sooner rather than later". he also has some very strong opinions about certain things that raise some red flags for me. i'm so bummed honestly because i truly feel a very deep connection with him, am so inspired by him, but need to be careful and wary. it all feels so complicated..

meanwhile on the uncomplicated end amazon man has been sending daily emails checking in on me, sending his best wishes, offering soup, today sent music from the bach choir he had invited me to. these things *move* me, they touch me deeply. it's not so intellectual and he's not firing questions at me trying to figure out if we're a perfect spiritual match. he's just a good hearted man trying to build a connection.

i think there is something to the fact that he's older, been married, had kids..

hmmm....i should just be grateful that i even have 2 potential love interests, eh? it's been so so long.

[Hollycrand]

Hello everyone!

I agree with LoveOhm that it's so great catching up with everyone and their stories. I haven't posted for a long while because I have a great thing going with Swimming Guy, and I haven't felt there was anything really interesting to post about.
He really does a lot for me like cooking (LOVE men who cook and bake...totally a huge turn on for me), plus just being attentive, wanting to talk and communicate, and wanting to work out some of the little inevitable snags between us. This weekend he baked an apple pie with leftover apples (He's the only guy I know besides my dad who makes pies) and helped me clean my house for over 2 hours Sunday. And he's mentioned we should do it again another time, because he wants me to have a nice place.
This week I have a visitor from Switzerland (male) who I've known since 1994. We had a little fling, but realised that we are just good friends, and feel more like brother and sister. He wanted to have a vacation, and since the flights were cheap to Montreal, he came to spend a week here. not necessarily with me, because he has things he wants to do and see, but because I can provide him with a place to stay.
Well, Swimming Guy is not very happy. He trusts me, he says, but just doesn't like the situation. We are not in any danger of ending things, but it has put a bit of strain between us. So far I've only heard from him sparsely today and not at all tonight (usually we exchange 5-6 emails at least, plus sometimes a phone call). Swiss Brother is going to see a hockey game Thursday night, so I'll go over to SG's house and spend some time with him.

That's all my news. Not really exciting.

[JohnnysGirl]

I promise I'll catch up with everyone else's stuff soon............

Just in the midst of a major angsty day. Can't get my mind off of VGB for a second. :

[Hollycrand]

Butterflymom,

:h ug