Seie, I am happy for you that you feel so in love with the guy who has been by your side for nearly a year now!
Hopefully the couple of long-standing issues will not become dealbreakers.
Brittney, I see LoveOhm's point. The standard assumption about students who work as bartenders is that it's not something people will continue after graduation. it's just a very common assumption. Just speak openly about your plans and that might clear everything up.
I dunno about Australian Guy. He wanted to see me tonight and I passed, for good reason. Instead a new friend (friend of a friend) who is a professional actor came over and helped me write the script to a murder mystery party I'm hosting in a couple of weeks. It was so fun!!
There wasn't sexual chemistry between me and this guy that I could notice but we had a blast together and had maybe so much fun we couldn't stop to 'scope' each other out and decide if we wanted to flirt. But we are obviously becoming friends and that seems like a good goal. He's a bit older than I target (a solid decade+) and looks more like 1.5 decades older than me (and guys I date) by appearances, but has a fitness-competitor's body!
But like I said, I don't have any feeling that it's going to be romantic with him, just glad I found out about him through a friend and at first meeting, we hit it off famously and will become friends (we both have 6 year old sons, also). That's a nice thing. Who knows, maybe that will pan into something down the line. sugarmoon and I got a theory today that perhaps just clicking with cool men and becoming friends with them FIRST and then down the line perhaps seeing if a spark happens is better than my typical pattern of hooking up with men, dating a bit, and then ruling them out as a romantic partner and THEN morphing them into the 'friends zone' and becoming good friends with them. WHy not change up my routine? We all know it's not working.
But wait a minute, just because i've been single for -gasp!- an entire year of my life, is that a huge failure and sign I'm 'doing something terribly wrong'? I haven't been single since I was 18 until just 14 months ago. 3 of these past months were entangled exclusively with VGB so really it's not even been a whole year that I've been single & dating around. Maybe it's a good thing not to settle down with just an 'okay' guy that comes along and wait for something that I feel really really strongly about..... Besides look at the successes from my social style. I have a TON of great friends I've made along the way, partly from my active dating style. I need more than my fingers to count the men in my life that are good friends to me these days that I wouldn't have met if it hadn't been for all my dating adventures. a solid 4-6 of my best friends in town are male, and most of them were date-duds that I hung onto as friends. and you know what? Two of those great male friends of mine that were date-duds for me, ended up partnering up with two of my best girlfriends.
I don't see any of this as bad. I've expanded a really rich, diverse, fun, and entertwined social web from nothing, in one year flat. Everyone in it seems to be thrilled that they are part of it and more than once have I heard, "My social life has really picked up tremendously since I met you and started meeting your friends, etc" and its' so obvious via facebook to see how those webs have just snowballed and friendships and even romances started up, having met through me.
Just because I'm currently still single and haven't met the man of my dreams doesn't mean that my social style is horribly wrong in every way. Does it? :scratc: I mean, good things have come out of it, and my life continues to improve. Does everyone here think I am doing things 100% wrong/badly?
since I am
open to meeting a partner, I do, however, want to try some new techniques/methods since I have no shortage of pals and really do want a boyfriend figure for the wintertime to cuddle up with while it snows outside.
I started a new online profile on a serious-minded dating site for this area and I've started being more serious-toned and less fun-loving(my normal style of personality) in my online 'hunting.' My mom suggests I get less glammed up and wear less high stiletto heels when going out and lighter makeup. I think I'll try that approach. Maybe the men who spot me across a crowded room and make a beeline are in it for the 'game' or 'conquest' or 'bragging rights' when I am all dolled up like a barbie doll, and the men who will notice me and get 'dumb-struck' when I am more plain-faced and down to earth looking are the right ones. It's worth a try/change of approach....
Maybe the guys online who say they aren't pointedly looking for anything serious (but then usually admit they never know when the right woman might come along) but are still open to meeting me are just trying to make themselves sound better and I should stay far away from them because they are pretty darned closed (if not 1000%) to any sort of exclusive relationship. Normally if he's smart and hot I'd go for it anyway and see if I couldn't 'change' his mind. Probably a waste of effort/energy. I had a guy like that for Thursday that i think I will instead cancel with even though his photo is charming as hell. He admitted he's not really on the hunt for anything seriou and I should take it at face value and not think that once he meets me he'll be singing a different tune....
SE wants to see me tomorrow night and spend the night, etc, but I am starting to wonder if I should waste my time. I could grab a girlfriend, go out and sing karaoke or listen to a live band at the irish pub, and meet someone new.
Or at least get out of my home. Why do I need to play house inside with someone who isn't ever going to be my boyfriend? He smells and cuddles-through-the-night so good, it's a nice substitute, but it's not gonna happen with him. Maybe I should cool things off and stop wasting my time. I'd normally be inclined to cook him dinner, cuddle up with him, and play house. Why do I owe him that?
Maybe I'd rather hang out with that 40+ year old theatre actor again actually, if he'd be free. He was so interesting. Or maybe our activity was just that much fun. Not sure.
I have a coffee date on monday with a guy I met on the serious-minded dating site and I'm feeling 'blah' about it even though he's got himself a really great face and warm smile. He just didn't seem enthused about it and if he's not excited to meet me now, when will he be?
I think I'm pretty much ok with spending quite a lot of my empty time going out with new men, and with a few tweaks in my approach, maybe some different results will come my way. and if not, it's not so bad being single and patiently waiting for the right one to come along. When he does, I'll be so glad i waited and didn't settle for just an 'ok' guy.
I feel confident that day will come.