if your household income is btwn 100-200k

[meowee]

How much do you spend on yourself on non-necessities/ luxuries a month? I am wondering how much people in a high, but not incredibly wealthy, income bracket see as "disposable" income just for yourself.

I feel extreme guilt every time I buy something for myself that is a non-necessity, as we started out our family with a negative net worth. Now that we are doing better I would like to spend about $100-200/ month on myself a month (anything from clothes, hair, occasional housekeeping help) but have no idea what is ok for selfish spending.

DH has no real opinion other than his belief system is, "Don't buy it, sell it, and if you can't sell it donate it." But he doesn't give me a hard time if I do spend on myself.

[sanguine_speed]

There is no ultimate answer to this question. Your personal budget is whatever you and your spouse decide. Your discretionary income will depend on your expenses as well. For instance, some families pay out child support, have different housing costs, have more debt, higher child care costs. If you feel guilty spending money on yourself, examine why, or don't spend. Set a budget with your partner after figuring out you present and future financial goals and priorities.

[MeepyCat]

There's so many variables here - what are your expenses, how many kids do you have, how stable is your income, how are you fixed for retirement and children's education...

I don't think you need a poll, I think you need a budget.

[Pernillep]

ETA to what PP have said. It depends on how much discretionary income you have and if you are covered in other areas. Ultimately it depends on what you are comfortable with as a family.

That said I probably spend around $100 sometimes more on myself a month. It is part of our budget that we agreed upon and it allow for us to pay everything we need, save for retirement and kids college and still have some extra left. The money I spend includes my nice salon haircuts, make-up, my yarn addition etc. It also includes my sugar cravings since I don't think the household should pay for that.

Clothing is a household budget but we really don't buy that much for ourselves mostly for the kids.

We are comfortable doing this because we don't have any credit card debt and are paying off the car quickly. I think I would probably be a lot more frugal if we had a ton of debt but right now I need a few luxuries in my life even if it adds another few month to when the car is paid off.

[rightkindofme]

I consider a lot of things 'for me' that other people consider part of the household budget. I don't get expensive hair cuts, get my nails (finger or toes) done, wear makeup, have particularly nice clothes, or have many hobbies. But I still think I spend quite a bit of money on myself.

[Amys1st]

We are right at the 6 figure mark. But in our area, you need that for the COL since we are near a metro area in the suburbs. So my DH's salary might stretch further somewhere else or we might not need as much, because we live quite simply and are frugal, I can spend something on myself when I want.
I send DD2 to a parents day out program,= its $80 a month for once a week 9-1:30pm. That is my day to do things.

I also have a personal trainer that I have started for me. Each session is about $50. But its been a blessing.

I may have lunch out once a month too.

But adding, I get a haircut every other month, will buy something for myself when I need it, and will do a girls night out etc every other month or so. I am not into spending a lot of money, getting my nails done etc so its not an issue. If we are having a tight month, I can wait for a while for almost anything.

[cschick]

It varies widely.

I put 95% of my purchases during a month (for both myself and the rest of the family) on my credit card that is paid off each month. According to Discover's neat little spend analyzer, my average monthly amount spent over the past 24 months just about $300/month.

Generally, about $200-$300/month on that card is grocery, since I'm the one who does the grocery shopping. Many months, about the only thing on that card is grocery+Target-type stuff (my husband puts gas on his card). And that's reflected in my monthly average over time being ~$300.

But, there comes the months when I do purchase a lot for myself. Looking at the past two months . . . well, the fact that in two months I have spent close to $400 with Victoria Secret/VS Catalog. But the reason I did that was that I needed to replace all my bras and underwear (seriously, they all had HOLES), and I also found two clearance suits for work and a bunch of clearance tops as long as I was already paying shipping from VS Catalog (correction: actually ordering all that crap meant that I DIDN'T pay shipping). And I needed all that at once, because I'd basically not bought any of that type of stuff for myself in the previous 12 months, and much of my clothing is 5+ years old and thus starting to fall apart. But now that I've refreshed all that, it'll be another 12 to 24 months before I even think about spending another $400 on clothing. And then it'll probably be another $400 in one to two months time.

I don't have expenses like hair or nails that I do regularly: I much prefer cutting my own hair after it being butchered too many times, and I have a hatred of anyone fussing with my nails. Given our budget though, if I wanted to "give" myself an allowance for things like that, I wouldn't find $100-$200/month to be unreasonable. Since both I and my husband tend to simply be on the "hate shopping, hate buying" side of things, right now our various savings and investments are pretty constantly growing because our money out is a lot less than our money in.

And this is the last edit . . . our actual net income per year is just on 100K.

[Peony]

It greatly varies. We live in a high COL and have expensive bills for DD1's therapy and school. I do get highlights or something every 3 or so months. DD2 and I eat lunch out one day a week, I usually spent $10.00 on the two of us. I end up buying a clothes item one a month because of changing sizes, but that is Target or someplace else cheap. I will pay our regular babysitter to come in and clean about once a month, that usually costs $75.00.

I don't consider ourselves wealthy by any means, yes we make good money, but that money doesn't go that far in our area. Everything just costs more, housing is a huge portion of our budget, so is DD1's bills, after that I have to really watch what I spend at the grocery store/thrift store be able to have any leftover for the "extras". I don't feel guilty about it though.

[Rico'sAlice]

We're not even in that bracket but DH and I definitely spend more than $500 each/mo on totally non-necessary personal stuff. DVDs, jewelry, bike gear, personal grooming, etc. And more on things that DH considers "necessities" but I think are just his toys. (Cyclone Rake)

We don't have a mortgage though, or debt other than DHs car payment (which is his work van so it's really the business' debt), and thanks to some money I inherited, only need to put a few hundred away per year to reach our retirement goals. If I decided to get a new car (mine is 4yo, paid off) or we moved to a bigger house, obviously that would cut into our discretionary spending. [Or if I quit WAH. Basically I work so we can buy those things we want and go on vacation. If I couldn't WAH I would probably not work and we would give those things up.]

I agree with a PP- you need a budget not a poll. Make a budget, include all of your savings goals, and see what's left.

[annekevdbroek]

I guess it depends on what you qualify as spending on myself. We do have a cleaning lady who comes weekly -but I consider that a household expense, rather than a personal expense. It benefits everyone in the house to have the sheets changed and laundry taken care of. That is almost $400 per month right there.

One or two days per week of childcare (this is changing because I am going back to work and will have a nanny, rather than childcare so I can have a break). That was $450 per month when I was doing it.

Clothes really varies. Lately its been a lot since I've needed to buy a work wardrobe - I think I spent $3000 on clothes (OMG!) in the past two months. I had no suitable work clothes because I've been home for 6 years with the kids. In a normal month it might be more like $100-$200 a month. As I said, this is very atypical.

I only get my haircut maybe 3x a year. I don't do manicures, spa treatments, or stuff like that.

We have no credit card debit or other debit aside from the mortgage.

I think what is "ok" totally depends on your budget and what you want. I've found that I like to spend my money paying people to do things I don't want to do. For instance, I would give up a lot of stuff before I got rid of the cleaning lady. I will hire pepole to do small jobs around the house because it makes life easier for us, even though we could do those things. I don't aquire a lot of "stuff" aside from the recent new llothes. For a long time I really only had one pair of shoes that I wore.

[mommariffic]

It really depends

We are there, hovering around 200k and we are renting a home in a kind of rural area. We are out there, so our cost of living/rent isn't that high, which leaves money for travel, and we splurged when we moved into this house on some nice furniture, a baby grand piano etc.

We are going to be moving towards Manhattan in a few months, and our rent is going to double. The COL there is really high, so I'm going to have to seriously start budgeting and being a bit more frugal. No more impulse buys etc. I think about $100 a month for girl stuff I like is what I'm going to aim for.

[Paxjourney]

I spend about $200 on things that are for me. Clothing isn't in that budget. Hair, makeup, craft classes. etc are.

COL seems high everywhere. DH is happy with what I spend and when we were first married it was maybe $45 a month if that.

[rhiandmoi]

Probably around $100, between lunches from our lunch lady at work and hobby stuff. I don't know that I would feel guilty spending more, but I just don't feel any need to spend more.

[Rowansmama]

I probably spend about $50 - $75 on myself. I take an "allowance" (DH does too) and it's ours to spend as we want. I don't track this money, and I often spend alot of it on DD (thrift store clothes, etc). I don't know if that's a lot or not very much, but it's what we've been doing for years. We make $140k between us.

[hillymum]

My husband gives me half whatever cash he has in his wallet at the begining of the week. This is not for groceries, just spending money for my boys and I. It's up to me how much I do spend. for instance this week I only spent $50 as we are going away for the weekend and I don't want to even worry about a budget. I plan on keeping my spending to under $100 a week when the kids are in school, but I am sure on occassion I will go over.

[guestmama9920]

My Dh doesn't spend money so I have to do it for him

That said I don't buy that much, but if I walk buy a pair of shoes and like them I do get them. Depends what makes you happy to, I love buying stuff for the kids and I am happy spending money on cloth nappies vs handbags and stuff.

Today I was good and bought a new shampoo to try and some new makeup to try, I usually talk myself out of it.

[Ellien C]

"anything from clothes, hair, occasional housekeeping help"

I voted, but I'm not sure I consider these things my "non-necessity" spending my myself. I do have a housekeeping service that comes every other week and it's in our budget. We both work full-time and it has drastically improved our quality of life. My service is really, really cheap at $65/week and then do a very basic job - floors, kitchen and bathroom.

I spend about $200-$300 on clothes for me a few times a year. I would say 2-3 and I usually consider that a "necessity." Recently it was maternity items, or at least things I could wear. In the past couple of years, I finally looked at my jeans and decided they came up to my rib cage and learned of the term "mom jeans." I went out and spent about $75 on 2 pair of jeans and I considered it pretty necessary. I felt very out-of-date. It was like I looked up one day and said OMG - it's not the 80s any more -.

Haircuts - I spend over $100 on a haircut about 4x a year. I've curly hair, I like my new stylist and it's not something I'm willing to go cheap on. Clothes I only wear about every 2 weeks, but I'm stuck with that hair cut every day!

Frivolity -coffee at Starbucks or some place like that. It kills me to pay $4.00 for a coffee or iced chai latte, but sometimes I gotta splurge. I just bought myself 2 (TWO! imagine) pairs of shoes from Lands End. Both casual and both on-sale. It felt pretty frivolous. Last year I spent money on purple suede boots at the end of the season. Again - I can't wear them to work so totally frivolous.

I buy yarn and fabric that I absolutely don't need - maybe $50 every other month or so. DH and I can't think of anything else frivolous. FTR - he agrees about the clothes, haircuts and housekeeping.

[annethcz]

First off, you've listed a really big income range.

We're approaching the lower number. I'd have a really hard time determining what is spending on me, and what is spending the household. Clearly, things like clothes, shoes, jewelry, and personal accessories are "me" spending. But what about household items? A new wreath for the front door isn't necessary, it'll be seen by everyone, but I'm the only person who really cares about it. So is that spending on me or on the household? In my budget I also group entertainment/eating out as a separate expense. Is going out for dinner, drinks and a show with my girlfriends a "me" expense, or an entertainment expense?

In any case, I spend several hundred dollars each month on items and experiences that aren't necessary.

[ChetMC]

An Issue for Me

This is something I have issues with.

The problem is basically that I was poor until I married DH. I lived pretty well for somebody who made $15,000 to $18,000 a year (and spent a good chunk of that on books and tuition), but I was very mindful of every dime and dollar I spent. The thing is though, I haven't been able to stop living that way.

DH is a spender. He couldn't budget if his life depended on it. And really, I'm okay with that. When you bring home six figures you should be able to indulge a bit, and he's not blowing the money on pot, porn or poker. His indulgences are really not bad. However, I have this bizarre need to make up for it by not spending money on myself or the kids unless I can justify it as a need, and find the absolute rock bottom price. So considering our income, I'm actually worse than I was when I was single and had very little money.

I voted $1 to $100 a month, but mainly because we eat out sometimes. I sometimes take university classes for interest, but because of the way our taxes work out the classes are nearly free when all is said and done.

And it's not all bad. We travel a lot. That's not something that would come under luxuries for just me, but I enjoy it a lot and believe that it's my frugality that makes it possible.

[wifeandmom]

I voted $500+, but I don't consider some of the things that have been listed as necessarily "for me", kwim?

We have a weekly housekeeper, so that alone is $400/month. I wouldn't count that as money spent on myself alone, rather it's spent to maintain our home.

Stuff I would count towards personal discretionary spending for myself:

Personal trainer: $210
Haircut and waxing: $100
Nails & Toes: $50 (average)
Make up/more expensive toiletries than absolutely necessary: $50
More expensive and larger quantity clothing, shoes, etc than necessary: $150
Books/lunch out with friends and/or kids: $100
Housekeeping help for laundry/dishes/daily upkeep: $260

I think all of that adds up to $900+. DH and I also each get $100/month each in cash to do whatever we want. DH spends a whole lot less, probably half or less of what I do, and his stuff is different. He buys magazines, goes to Starbucks, and eats expensive meals when he travels. None of it stuff I'd spend money on, but he would say the same for my stuff too, kwim?

Our net income is above the income range listed in the OP, but not hugely so.